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Quick one two three
And then home
One two three stops
There will be one more
And then another
And then I'm home
And that's where the market is
And bed is
And ***
That's where I drink beer in my easy chair
That's where it is
One, two three
And then I'm home
And the rotation of the wheels
Go tut tut tut
Like a Google search
Like information
Like flying keys.
One two three
Then I'm home again
Just like that
You'll see
It's 36th then Steinway then 46th
It goes up and up
But I get off
When it's my turn to
And where my home is
That's where I go to
One two three
Then it's my home, you see
groommmm

hair hair haior, *******, nice little bottles of argon oil always brushing through the trend lines, going to the mirror for a look, one step at a time, marches at slow smokey march at a time, look right?  The flight jacket, the night jacket, no jacket, sweet **** sweet ****, got nothing, nothing to wear, nakedness!  Understated or understated, daring, daunting, flaunting, or cautious and cunning

draping yourself with silks for purposeful purposes, pushing for posh just for pastime, your packing a great reward of pios compliments, or respect unspoken, either way next to god, genuine, lovely

or not, or just of hastle, of constant tagedy, of struggle, of daily rotine driven you crazy
through the mist guiding the passions, fading and breathed in, staining the walls with the smell, the dank fragrance, memories sticking like fly paper, album covers and ways of speaking, scents can be everything, wafting in and chugging towards the center of something, the attention, the roominess, the raunchy, the rancid, or the romantic, only a very fine line between masculine and rustic, and their hybrid sensuates at the touch and is sensitive, a necklace worn all night is left at the bedside for a poor desperate lover, who does nothing but cling to it in the midst of his studies

onward onward, old smells and new ones, sometimes devoid of it, expressionless scents, who have high ceilings, their masks, masks meant for emotional recurrence, masks made for actors moving through space, neutrality has its own unique sensitivity, diluted in sink water, minerals that we don't know of, the actors

onward onward, potent as green dank in parks, distinguish between cow dung and the potent plant can sometimes be difficult, dare to know strands, dare to be a master of wine, on the other hand, dabbling in notes that are sung with different feasts, wine, and bread, and grass

taste, driving onward, taste in fragrance, relativity, yet grounded in set and nurturing baby powder, cool and refreshing, but driven to the ends of the earth with distinction, with fine lines, onward onward I stake to make my way but consistently do not understand it, scent
Through the mist, guiding the passions, fading and breathing in, staining the walls with the smell, the dank fragrance, memories stick like fly paper, album covers, or ways of speaking, scents can be everything, shaping the way we remember, wafting in and chugging towards the center of something, perhaps for attention, for roominess, for attraction, on one hand the raunchy and the rancid, or on the other hand, romantic, only a very fine line between rustic and grutesque, create all these memories, a hybrid of sensualities work to create the memory, like a necklace worn all night, then left at the bedside, the lover inhales and again he is in heaven

onward onward, the sensualities creating our memories, good or bad,  but what about the expressionless? who have high ceilings, who don’t create memory?  who do not have sense? these have masks, masks meant for neautrality, masks made for actors moving through space, neutrality has its own unique sensitivity, diluted in sink water, smells like minerals, which makes us think of water, neutrality, the cleansing

onward onward, potent as **** in parks, sometimes you can’t distinguish between the potent plant and skat, and sometimes that can be difficult, dare to know the different strands, dare to be a master of wine, dabbling in notes that are sung with different feasts, wine, and bread, and cheese

taste, driving us onward onward onward, relativity, driven to the ends of the earth by distinctions, with fine lines, onward onward, sifting through the mist, attempting to get a waft of the best of it
Letting the entertainers know
we are all night to participate in a little show
la dee daad eed addad ddad
make waves and take another templatate, yours is here, is it lost yeT?
dadadadadadhahdhaha
make we sing your favorite turnes, I won’t pass judgment by you
la deee dadadad dee daw
they knew you for a second, but now its gone and over
magical little msysterioes, I ca’t begin to tak ebhte first step towards majesty, charisma, adultry, fantasy, calligraphy, oceanography, the study of maps and languages blah deee dee blah blkah
good ideas that start off good **** then don’t follow through the bullet of the gun barrrelll very well
youy’re on a tight stretch, a little mystery, you missed your mating call, granted you are tall and this situation is impossible, make your grave while you stand, take a shotgun to the head, the few applause, they were a couple in front and they really meant it, take it with an upper lip you twit
what was it that I was even saying?
Lets get gritty, I need a sigh and a smoke
and comfortable with it

letting go of that grasp, of the desire for immense power

something deep inside of anyone deprived of it

one has to ask themselves, how much do they really need?  how much anxiety must one endure, go through in order to grasp it?

the peaceful mind, is it enough?   there's truth in all kinds of things, its flakey like most things, but its comforting enough when it rolls off the tongue, in the opportune moments

scenes from a play, seems from a hat, don't know what you'll get, or where your head will be at

predictability, or to be comfortable with the uncertainty

oh, pass it on, pass it on, say yes to that one
artistic development
and I'm learning just
what I'm good at
and people here
can watch me do
my latest
by I am just
a regular guy
trying to write
songs for other peoples
rhymes
I've made my way
throughout the process
I've tried this and that
but nothing seems to
work
I'm trying to
understand exactly
what it is
I'm going to do
I will eventually
end up with
something
nothing, hahhahahahhahhahahaa
I relax a bit
and I allow myself to sit upon the floor for a minute
I let myself
get into
a spiral
of confusions
but then I let
myself go back
to something that
I can contain
I don't care if
the people saw me
in the state
that I was
I am a
good person
and I try to live
what is told to me
because I understand
there is so much suffering going through the word
I'll do my best
when you explain
what you
are going through
I will
try
I will
try
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6XLEGu6gvI&feature;=youtu.be

YEHEEEEEEE
sitting back, letting the world be where its at, with mind open towards the sky, with the phone polls thinking off their fair, their electric current flows to a bulb that is calm, pulsing, its one of those evenings, crows, and different types of mosquitoes, cold enough for a scarf, reechhing screeching the tentative cat trying to make his next plan, escaping into the house where he may resume his limitless pleasantries, lifting up his spirits  with the fireplace

the delightful conversation, of honor, their is so much duty in the things we do, duty delights in its own way, honesty has its own reward, we heard letterman say it to a louis that was frowning, and the characters represented themselves, an extension of their characters, and louis went on being a genius and lettermen went on being a *****

pleasantries are present when we least expect it, the fuzz from the monitor, there isn't much worry about how ***** the computer gets, it adds character, wisdom, se lavi or whatever it is the french say tossing hands up in the air and leaving it up to probability, or uncertainty, what a pleasant feeling

pleasantries in the dress, the particular white collared shirt with the pressed jacket, shoes that shine, in glances and martini glasses, in steps down the stairs that feel of anchores, anchores somewhere beneath those grand steps that provide some kind of magnificent gravitational gradiose spectacular, pleasantries in how much we aren't even aware
please please please please oh **** oh ****

of anticipation, wishing, not anticipation, wishing instead... very deep wishing, like a wish for santa clause,  even deeper than that, like a wish for a grow spurt, like a wish for power

please please please let that work, let that car go the way it will, let the music be cheerful, let them be sincere, yes yes yes, let life be alright, let it linger , let go let go, please please  please

to wish to a higher power, to wish to chaos, to wish to chaos, while chaos may be a theory that is appealing, dice still have their edges, and dots still count to numbers, language, of taste taste taste.....

having prayers, daydreams, where is the next one going to come from?  limitless ramblings?  limitless, endless digging, no sir you sit here, yes you here,

god this is awful, only a wish for stability, lithium let yourself be free1!!!
make a little joke here, when I can't write anymore its time to make fun of my own writing, I'm sean, I'm egotistical, pretentious, and blayh blah blah,
Poem Poem Poem

Poeeeemm

POEM

PAOFKDOAFJADKAOFJDAOFJADJFAj

POAME???
PEEA­OMRAJRJOD
POEM FLOLOLOLLOOLLLOLLL
H AHAHJAHJAH AHJHA MOOOOOOoo

WE"RE ALLL GONNANA HDFHAFHDADHFADHFAHFAHDFHAf
a
hfdah
f
hdfah
af



FALLLING FALINGINFLINGINFNd

JAKDJAFWWHYHYHYHYHYHYHYYHW

WHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAH­AHAHAHHAHA

WHAAAAAAAA

OH NO OH NO AOHJAFGIJADOJFODJFOADJFA
FNKADFDKAJFNADKDnJFDAsjkfanf

YOURE GODNFAK:FJKAJFDAKFJAKFJAKFJAJLFJFALjAFLADLF

LIES LIES LIES LIES!!!
I like to drift aobut the oprah show

with my laptop open, sipping bourbon, it smokes my eyes

and stings my tounge

I like to drift about like this,

I like it when the benches to the barstool are sepraated by groups of three

and I like itwhen the tender leans towards my direction

I like the  laptop open in a giant kazooo, in an inredibly modest church

I like the laptop open while I'm searching for pens and pencils

while I'm picking roses

Iwhile I am farting

now listen,

I like the laptop open because I am flawless,

yes
I’m writing a poem right now


I do to want to writ ea poem right now

why?  leave me to my coffee, and my music

go away

leave me to my flowers, I do not care for the page

I do not care for this stage, please stay away


I’m writing a poem right now, and I definitely resent it

I’m grandstanding my own serenity, with your chaotic beauty


jeez, put a shirt on

jeez, you’re too bombastic!!  


I don’t want to write your poem

because I’m just to cool for that

like, I’m so cool that I won’t eve write another poem again ever

and I’ll still just be a weird poet

wouldn’t matter


so I’m not going to write it
where fools fall in love, thats wher is at

they are black, or white, or latino, or asian

usually, and then two fall in love

because of an unusual circumstance, and the irony is funny, or beautiful, or scary, or scandalous

and then they do something horrible and brash to succumb to their love, or suppress it

and someone in the story tries to help them, and also someone tries to stop them

it becomes a thing, since the foolish lovers involve their families and friends to a maniacal extreme

so it's Romeo and Juliet,

And that's the story, I want to see it again...

I want to see the part where the protagonist trades hands with an enemy for his heart

show me the kiss in the courtyard, under the streetlight, in the back of the bus

the one that is horribly vain and *****,

give me the spices and butter over cooking for a false wedding, a re-kindling of mutual benefit

hand me tybalt's dagger-

the show must go on
Pokemon was a way to train warriors, worried about their tribal spells, being ready for the action, and the mother is okay with him taking a long time to get to bed at night before his big match, and it's all set and ready, and its all set and ready, and the interpol weaves the majestic time tables to rotate into another direction, because they are full of perfection, the pokemon, presenting itself in the highest of fashions, in a beautiful red and white ball that reflects the sunshine always, yes.  

The different characters follow along their path, and they love to make their crazy sounds, and the brightest creature of all the creatures is a cat with thunderbolts!   A CAT WITH THUNDERBOLTS

shooting the lightning
shooting the lighting
shooting the majesties
shooting the lightning
shooting the lightning
shooting the majesties

OUT OF CONTROL
AND FULLL OF SPLENDOR AND MADNESS AND SWINE AROUND THE CORDIAL MEASURE OF SPENDITUDE ALONG A SACRED LINE
ALONG A SACRED LINE
Power, in the prejudice of language
A pronounced but silent linguistic statement
Unspoken but sung on
Pictures paint a thousand words
But then the words carry weight like wagons, trancends all image all together, never better, sleek like leather, loaded questions, how's the weather convorsations spoken in our bodies posture fluid and malleable
Just like water
I'd like to live in my own fantasy land
Where people are alright to one another
The beer is always being poured
And the people dance often, dance often
And are naked, not envious
I'd like to live in my own fantasy land
Where you can buy a ticket and stand in line but the line only takes five minutes and the bouncer meets you at the door doesn't check your Id and let's you in for free
My own pretend place
Where the design is modern and the people aren't too domineering, instead organic and they don't test you and the children are cooperative
My own secret world
Where the trains only take you five minutes to reach your destination and on the way we read a bukowski poem and have discussion about it.
And there's no sense in repeating anything, because everything has already been said
In my pretend land
And we're up all night reading poems about mercy and about God
And the space in between
In this pretend land
There are men who are hungry but at least they are warm and they get the occasional good meal and they can make whatever art it is they want to make, or appreciate art
the rain is wonderful, it makes you feel like you are in a capsule, that you are cradled, and anything is possible, washing out the old day and bringing in the new, its nice, sometimes you drift away and find yourself falling into the couch, and you imagine the homeless, trying to keep dry, but perhaps they see it as a blessing too, a shower perhaps, they stink real bad

and then the bit of rain stops, and it reverts to a light sprinkle, and your ears perk up, waiting for the next hit, hoping for it, you feel the gust of wind the last one brought in, nice, the windows opened just so, drip drop, drip drop


and then you’re ******, why did it stop?
oh well
just keep
pondering
for magnificence of spirit, holy grade arsenal of blueberry blossom fantasy folly, laughs at the most inappropriate moments, flan with coconut sprinkles and espresso, rip out my insides, and I'll reach out to you, my love, all we've been through.

the song wasn't meant for you but it turned to be yours anyway, a broken wheel on the freeway, some kind of trust or something beyond whatever people can do, letters, tiny, speckles, frightened under the bridge of a passing train, jumping over puddles, children again

or maybe it was, you insist, insist and I have learned from you that I don't seem to have a god ****** clue, and your light shines a whole light brighter than mine so I'll just have to clutch your hand and let you guide us through the underground, resume's and bits of talent, empty pizza boxes on a radioactive island, stranded

but something is ironic about the whole thing, and in your jacket you look look like a lost little penguin, and the absurdities add up and the question marks leave us with humor beyond anything I've known, question marks that bed and make love, little tid bits of apology that didn't make their way to the trial, now their standing there with feet chained to bits of radioactive metal, the apocalypse came before anyone could punish us, and now the jokes on them, or maybe its just on us, because we just can't seem to stop farting!
Rein of clouds and sky, ready to rupture, possessing me with your dew
shuddering my spine, sticking the very burn to my lips, crisp air, changing
head spinning off the tops of the gate posts like a cat crossing, misadventures, purrs, purrs
fleeting thought experiments and delicious sentiment, peering through display windows and seeing the tiny universe expand, dreary delight of my God!
wherein, you perplex me, wherout, you make no sense
even still, persist, do you not, my sense, the reality, foaming at my nostrils, the feeling
hungry for flight, uncontrollable dreaming take off above the city when I am lucid and hearing to take control! Too much, approaching the wave with too much strength
Tell me, in which direction do I go?
????????????????
tonight I felt
what a real applause feeling like
I haven’t felt that
in a long time
and it feels good
man, it feels good
I don’t want to sleep
I want to enjoy this moment
for awhile
are boring beings

we tell so many stories

but we are

truly

boring

AHAHAHAHAHA

its truly a riot!  we're so boring!

its hilarious!
fit for body, fit for mind, taking up few precious times,

times moving like the water falling down, the laughter between the cold droplets

and she's naked and her body bounces around the house

the coffee brews slowly, and I am in my leather jacket, still naked to the bone, my legs grounded in still malleable water, warm, yeah thats what I'd  use to describe it

***, followed by the relaxed primordial state, where signs and numbers and images and things seem less threatening, and the cold winds outside don't effect the warmth of a loving home.

feels like home, far away from home

and she's in her room working on her project, and I'm in mine, working on mine, and the coffee is brewing, and thats just fine
closure between lines


that skated away alleys

and entitled themselves to the hours

between hours


where you wouldn’t remove your glasses,

where you’d ywoiudlnts rats your summers of alienware scene tamererisalsis

\

you  are a stunner i tis alientawre outcast amlswae dpravity,

did yu enter our ie=tery, d


or di d the singer

mounts itswhay into the justifiedmononloties



android their clo=brads mont a tied wings heki.d onto the beorwswedd mollies


a ******* starts
?:?

dido he come pit to laying?


wants hosts brain all ofsserat weazxxx wand ddidi this de=yeavrown s diddi fro flwaytouf mi of your micheiuver
> s



n your ca’t be sure


and you won’t ever ben…  for yu are mintsaind on yours tgrarrotoor just like me
\

like a mischief ended bandied its will confront ejhie dietrsie ,, fr0lor oooo pppr rpr r a frag,et DOEENT ANDOEODTY PPA TJAT JAS CRASTEDEEEEEDPP EIPIR SIRRRRR DOTEOS AON A TRECJANT AFWAREFRAREY ODYPYYYYPSYYYYYYYYYYYYPP[O[K[U[U[U[[U[U[U[U[[[[UY;Y[[[Y[YYUY;[[Y[­Y[[U[[[[UY[[Y[Y[Y[Y[Y[Y[Y[Y[[UU[[[TRI464Y7 3RKNAFEKDHYESEYYY  ALENTENTT EYIR TRANETE MOMNGRAOHP
In the eyes of whom exactly?  In the eyes of the state? the state has many facets, the state functions with people who have lives, of humanity, of work days, of cups of coffee, of politics, of lack of movement, of diplomacy, of sweaty, of pushing and pulling, of treaties and binding treaties and the difference between the two, of norms?  of what kind of norms? and who enforces those norms?  and who is hungry

Rights?  In the eyes of god?  Whose god?  the god, a god, one god, many, more, more coming, one has already arrived?  all is well, all is hell, of the spirit?  of the mind?  rights in the eyes of the conscious? what's for breakfast today?  can't remember, rights in the eyes of ethics?  work ethics?  agreements? harmony?  whose harmony? and who decides?  with democracy?

ha, rights

Watch me perform rights on youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laoAZpn84rg&feature;=youtu.be
required a son, required some sort of new kind of free wheeling master claws, with antennae sticking out of his head, he's a neaucesence, throw him in with the others, in a few weeks he'll be dead, the silence growing in a  room of hostilities, boaring, raging, clawing, a man in a his ***** wife beater bathing in some sort of maniacal driving, there is surplus, there is some, but there is still the baby crying, the unsettling warm weather bringing these people closer to dying, required a son, some sort of new kind of free wheeling master, there are some things that aren't written down in textbooks that bring some sort of new energies, that make the water flow with just a bit more elegance, there are some energies that take up an entire day, that we flow through but are just never aware of, they roll on and roll on and roll on, but then again, the hot and sweaty day, the new son, being born, water coating his new skin, water in his new eyes, rise
Hustle and bustle of underground merry plaza showcase, the underbelly, the underlife, the true essence of the show going on at 8, men speaking rhythmically, eating quickly, with waste boxes, recyclables, the news is digestible, a man forages for answers in his phone, digging with his thumbs, and another reaches through the speaker to try to hear the close, the head anchored up, the scarf hanging at the direction towards the sun, oh the glamorous walls and the anxious souls, oh the marble staircase and the jansport backpack, more cleaning services than surfaces, less times more money, more money, less time, time is like money, it freezes and then it flows, what was the expression again?  Only the smell of coffee is lucrative, only the stench of ***** diapers, babies, in a place like this, where murmers are murmurs and eat isn't required but fufilled then joked about over digestion, a proper coffee break, he is of an ash tray the men gossip, not directly, but imply, stick to facts but hierarchies fill in like water into a ravine, never obscene, silent struggles to an invisible top held by Rockefeller who is no longer in this world, his spirit keeps some sort of hope driving noses into the pizza lunches, and the limitless contemplaions, the tough desicions, men around coffee are women amidst vultures, who has a higher grasp, whose the one getting cursed, overdone, overpowered, the cards turning in silence, literally in glances, a polite face turns to a disappointed hatred in seconds, perfect, like a diamond
the craving
to make it happen
to make it witness
to draw without measure
to eat all the time
to exist on the carousel
with holden caulfield
trying to look cool
and coming up
in the end
with the edge
again
isn't it
beautiful?
Original master of bottled overblown ownership, around a flogging frame of masculinity, tone more reflective than any of your own, your a master, someone who takes the wheel, the navigator, russel crowe at his finest, with a head heald toward the mist of sea you take glee in knowing your place, your status, your finest hour, punishment, corporal, minsitster, sinister, your enemies fear you, your colleagues believe in you, won’t you take on another cruise ship, take on another fluke? Nothing is quite in danger, yet it is always looming right in front of you, the danger, the edge of the world, beckoning, its black marvel is a hole in the sea, and you will swirl around its edges, knowing nothing but the night, the cold, the winter, the old man with the mop in hand warns of omens, and the crew complies because they listen, they are wise,

Hold down your anchor! The end is approaching!  you know what they came for, they want you intact, whole, at the core, a piece that they can rivet, take away, reach down to the center and feel the pulp at the fingertips, pull it out and hold it towards the wind, its our apple, bite into it again
behaving like a ******* salesmen, behaving like a godcam salesman, the best one in town, who has no wonder where to run to, who is exhausting his best supply, who asks just the right amount of questions, wondering why wondering why, with questions and with answers, midght, ******* dancers, thanks kid rock, for your contribution to my confidence
I'm so desparate to find the next little taste of the appropriate words at the timing, the correct article of clothing?  what do you take me for?  I see a beautiful girl who looks at me with confidence, and my friend pushes me towards her, and I swoop around her back and hold her close to me, look her in the eye, and her boyfriend uses his body to counter,

I step back with a  gentelemns pose

I enjoy this game of cat and mouse, of power, the initial stages of sexuality seeping out of every orafice and contained with a simple little cat and mouse game, flinching like a cranked out rooster
ha ahahahahahhaahhahhahhaahaahhahahhahah
the examined life, portrayed right at the fingertips, in loving memory, in loving color, swirled together, finding their roots at epitome, the example. the hand reaches out to the flower pedal floating its all simple, the hand reaches for what it needs, the person is enchanted, delighted, to be a part of something, that moment when the dynamic is flawless, those little moments, when the sun hits and there are parades in the background the the hand and eye and mouth are all focused on one specific interaction.  

these moments, take up all the time they need, and then they pass, and that is that, but time has a funny way of working its way up the spine, finding itself later in the recess of memory, embrace, warmth that is uncontitional, while no truth is permanent some stand for longer periods than others, and while they stand we dance, we dance, we dance

we cast ribbions to to top!  and we throw confetti all over and celebrate!  yes and while celebration may be a set up for disappointment, in that moment, that specific moment, celebration is perfect, and love shines, and its power is furious, its power is locked in, and death is escaped somehow, the spirit is sprinkled, like the confetti, and the individual is, truely, selfless
and I let it out and said okay

and I made promises

to what extent does what comes out of my mouth actually have truth?  

what's the correlation between what we say and what we do?

the ideal chess set and the moves, the game plan and the...

truth, ****, it keeps coming back to that

a stoic is prisoner to it, and nietzche warns and warns again

but I'm not sure if Nietzsche ever loved a woman

other than his mother, no, love turns you into a truth seeker
and you're doomed to be a hero, sticking your neck out for nothing, for blows,

and it *****

wishing yourself better

wishing yourself cooler, calmer

the self is confused and hides

why is it hiding?  I ask those questions, which are the dangerous ones


will to power is an easy way out, but I read another piece that had a different explanation, the bible I think it was

and it had equal validity, it had me looking at things differently
and myself is the biggest scardy cat

I wonder what Nietzsche would say about that
I don't know
where else to turn to
I've exhausted my supplies
and now I'm naked writing a poem
my book probably *****
and you are reading this
probably naked
A love sick gut
A guy who knows enough, Ivehad enough lessons, suckling fat, stuck to the ribs UGHHGHGHHHHHHHHHH
I want to sink my teeth, a craving
Like no other itching at the spine, pickled in a salty solution of time
Cramping my empty stomach, stargazing turrets machine head massacre
Frolicking in fictional fragments for flabbergasted nonentity
Spinning in circles, spent
Elongated taffy candy, rubbed in bourbon, succulent and tasty, craving another...
mmmmmmm I want it, I can almost taste it, it passes by like a car on the opposite side of the freeway, a glimpse, a moment, presence? alertness? wisdom?  mysterious well of creativity, gimme a glimpse, I sold you my soul god ******!!!!
If I ever lose my sense of hearing
I will write poems about silence

and that silence
will be alright, alright, alright
not here, it is not here
there is a television set on, and I cannot think
all I wish to do
is find the place
where I can feel alright
I sit in the dark and write
I sit in the dark and write
and I'm about to take a tender leap of faith
I care to live, I've learned to love life, it is fascinating
but the silence isn't here
there's people talking at pubs
there's people talking at homes
there's people talking at street corners
there's people talking at restaurants
there's people talking outside, during a walk
nature is so loud, nature is very loud
the yoga studio features music, and breathing
and the subways feature announcements and opening and closing doors
I wish
for a silence
a crypt silence
an angel silence
a purgatory silence
a burning silence
a cloud silence
to savor, to have the willpower

to wait, to anticipate...anticipation, and let it roll over

like you'd roll over a tortilla, for someone you love

the browned crust, the wine, savored in the evening with company,

to savor company itself, to wait to speak to the one you love, on the balcony, when nobody else is watching

sips are delicious, and to sip is to practice humanity, to distill, to understand, that there will be another sip in the near future, and you remember the last
My hunger becomes overwhelming
My pores are sweaty
Thin as a starving dog
Waiting for the hour to be finished
Waiting for the train ride home, the moaning rails, the darkness and advertisements
Waiting for dinner with Ilyse, and how lovely that will be
We will both complain about our days
I will lament the night before
She will forgive me
And then we'll talk about going to the show
Tomorrow
And maybe I'll have a beer
And sit in the living room
And maybe I'll dream of what could be
And what already is
George carline words ringing in my head, there is only past and future
It was a funny joke, but alas
There is a
Here
And it is
forever
as if sleep is surrender, beckoning to me, as some sort of a menacing creature from a cartoon series,w ith a fishtail and a gibbering little smile, beckoning, and I am defenseless yet also powerful, sitting on my carpet, contemplating, fathoming both at the same time, some sort of monster of expressionless decodiing, opposites etracting, the big electron molecule, formulating, loving, inspiring, some sort of microscopic revelation fuming at the nostrils, tainting your insights, understnadinging your favorite disvoering, letting it be what it is, letting it go away peacefully, the biggest challenges in life, making their way to the center of your nut, and your whipping for breath, bearing the best and manliest ******* bandana, and you are wearing a mustache, in deep trying to let go of hostilities, but your are swept with madness, your eyes hurt and your mind flickers with the pride of others, interested in telepathy, the kunds of shops where they take your money for their intuitions, spirituality as a mystery that is uplifting, some sort of malice that has wreaked havoc and yet brought on the curious which brings on the mystery which brings on the fun, you’re at it
sleepless night
I am at your dispense
teach me something new?  
I’m a reader of your newest book
there’s something that I want to hear
and it’s out there
and the minutes crawl by
and I hear it on the back of a pin wheel
rolling to the other side of an empty room
I’m shouting!  Can you hear me? PAY ATTENTION
I am a commander of notes!  I taught myself to do it
and I show up for work
and sit through it
but it is not this
I want you to sit me on your knee
tell it to me straight
like I’m dealing with death
and everything is meant to aim dead for center
it’s not a riddle, no, not this time
I am at that part of the book where there are two ways
the leaves on the trees are crumbling, and I’m at the dispense of weather
put boots on my feet! I am THE KID
who wears a spiked collar
YES
prepare me for what I should expect next
and I’ll listen
sleepless night
falls

simple

coffee

tastes

good
everything
in nothing
the creation
is high
in the mud
making angels
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