sometimes you just have to take things into your own hands
I’m not sure of what else to type
perhaps I’ll just play a video game again
for awhile

birches and tastsy jerky wood.  resin in the immediate shubbary.... and dust and cobwwebs growing adjacent to the jerky wood.  Myraid of birds, ranging from small birch-types to crows.  A lingering dominant hawk.  A giant possum crossing between borders carrying unborn infants.  Dusty walls with abandonded spiderwebs- insect carcassases dangling, still.  Pool motors revving in every direction lets of a subtle hum that compliments the planes descending and ascending oer-head

the water is grainy yet cool and healing.  the sprinklers function at midnight and sometimes on the weekend.  Maintinance trucks, expensive commuter vehicals, modest vehicls, unmanned vehicles, arrowhead trucks, macdonalds trucks, safeway trucks....

the earth is still wheaty and chalky adjacent the jerky trees, the jerky trees have little hairs and appetizing off red color, the bark saddles off with grace and with a satisfying tare.

Journey, do our duties

The thing, do a day, cafe

Dying in news but that's okay

I gotta duty to be doin or I'll be busy dying too

**** tootin

Spelling bees suddenly making sense to me

Spell socks backwards while sweating, and then **** your pants

Bahaha I got nothing, anyways let's dance

why should I have to suffer?  the right little yellow likes to lighten me to flies floating around the grass reflecting the sunshine, why do I need to feel the pain?  the news on my phone, on the counter, hurting in vain, the redwood tree indifferent, the poison, the expression, the name, but to suffer?  why should a person go through such a thing?


to suffer is to contemplate, to consider, no, more like to control, to fathom control, because power sounds like a word used for pokemon cards, but its in the atmosphere, feeding from the roots, making its way up, trickling down from tops, to suffer is not necessary

to see a person who has a phd and to justify lack of suffering with a set time to see, to emote, yes, and yes and oh, and working, and progress, and the yellow lovely, the yellow lovely sitting in my bathroom drawer, let it in, I do not deserve to suffer in this way, let it in, let me be the redwood tree, and I'll pass, indifferent

I think I'll sing instead
and shower
and look my best
and have a beer
and play a game, my video game
maybe I'll go down the block and buy myself a new jacket
because it is my birthday tomorrow
so, **** it

Pokemon was a way to train warriors, worried about their tribal spells, being ready for the action, and the mother is okay with him taking a long time to get to bed at night before his big match, and it's all set and ready, and its all set and ready, and the interpol weaves the majestic time tables to rotate into another direction, because they are full of perfection, the pokemon, presenting itself in the highest of fashions, in a beautiful red and white ball that reflects the sunshine always, yes.  

The different characters follow along their path, and they love to make their crazy sounds, and the brightest creature of all the creatures is a cat with thunderbolts!   A CAT WITH THUNDERBOLTS

shooting the lightning
shooting the lighting
shooting the majesties
shooting the lightning
shooting the lightning
shooting the majesties

OUT OF CONTROL
AND FULLL OF SPLENDOR AND MADNESS AND SWINE AROUND THE CORDIAL MEASURE OF SPENDITUDE ALONG A SACRED LINE
ALONG A SACRED LINE

Power
and the desire to be a good person
and how they flirt with one another
in a house surrounded by a cylinder
it is blue
and it has an echo echo echo
and boy does it want to scream
love love love
possessed by the elderly and the ******
possessed by blessed and doomed
it
this flirtation
is delicious

I like to drift aobut the oprah show

with my laptop open, sipping bourbon, it smokes my eyes

and stings my tounge

I like to drift about like this,

I like it when the benches to the barstool are sepraated by groups of three

and I like itwhen the tender leans towards my direction

I like the  laptop open in a giant kazooo, in an inredibly modest church

I like the laptop open while I'm searching for pens and pencils

while I'm picking roses

Iwhile I am farting

now listen,

I like the laptop open because I am flawless,

yes

fit for body, fit for mind, taking up few precious times,

times moving like the water falling down, the laughter between the cold droplets

and she's naked and her body bounces around the house

the coffee brews slowly, and I am in my leather jacket, still naked to the bone, my legs grounded in still malleable water, warm, yeah thats what I'd  use to describe it

***, followed by the relaxed primordial state, where signs and numbers and images and things seem less threatening, and the cold winds outside don't effect the warmth of a loving home.

feels like home, far away from home

and she's in her room working on her project, and I'm in mine, working on mine, and the coffee is brewing, and thats just fine

I'd like to live within you, the objective world working in tandem with the human imagination, the intersectionality is humor, sparking lust and color and ******, violent and ****, salty and stimulating.  

you're excessive bounty of lies, that which when worked into a fabric create an obscure fact, manipulate the memory and all the sudden the image is juxtaposed with the perception, then they lay on top of one another, creating a illusion so powerful that fact flies out the window, to claim evidence is foolish, for the scenarios flip within themselves as actors change disguises, as acrobats practice their summersaults, as discs spin in the video game set

to wish for a reality so vast, that an open field connecting the ocean to the city is but a comparison grounded by gravity, whereas your portals know no bounds, you give the people a voice and yet the voice is anonymous, therefore the individual becomes collective, therefore the money blends as the ideas blend as kisses blend at a masquerade, fueled by the promise of donation and champagne

Terror, hate, giving way to curiosity

yes

character styles, characters we’ve missed

attempted to put on pedestals

characters whose wits got them out of the worst situations

or whose worst qualities got them into the best ones

who have been balding and have ended up heroes

who have overcome obstacles, some

some who had less and and achieved more

but achievement seems to be the underscore, yes

of nationality?  of pride?  of masculinity?  of assertion?  hard to say

do we need more stories in more forms or fewer stories and more individuality, more self-awareness,

awareness, awareness, awareness, funny word thrown around a lot

do people even know?  most of the time they don’t, they are staring down at their shoes

or some characters are looking up at the sky

anyways, they don’t understand the issue, what is at stake, stop celebrating!  start studying!

or you are studying too much!  the wrong drugs, the right drugs!  too much of the right thing can make anyone go insane

or the other way around, the right amount of the wrong thing can make anyone go freely about their day,  and

achieve, back to that word

and what does it even mean?  to achieve something?  greater than yourself?  for yourself to be a reflection of that thing? or that thing to be a reflection of self?  

man, we could debate about this for hours, where’s my coffee?  or beer, or wine, your choosing

man, what did I have for breakfast, I honestly forgot

or no, it was toast and cofffee, yes I think its time for a stiff drink now

and then another hour to achieve something, to write something, to widdle something, to create something that was not there before

but some say GO, **!! BA HA!  to hell with objectivity, everything is recycled, nothing more

and they wave their hands about as if it was borrowed from a magician, and their hearts flare up with some sort of richeousness, and they achieve…rightness?

back to that again…achievement…what does it even mean?

My identity has been stolen enough times now

Four or five different people use my name with six different credit cards

I’ll clean them up, then ill be the real Johnny Appleseed again.  In no time,

Fine

... enough echoes have made it from the deejay to the tenders tip to the whisper, and enough men have checked up on that, silently,toward myself. When it’s all said and done, it’s still my fault. Then I need to find the next place to go...


And you know?  You’ll find me, eventually, at the starbucks furthest north in the northwest corner, blasting “Bulls on Parade,” enjoying the pints of beer and



Creamer in my coffee

Ride!!!!! What's here where am I going oh man cheer for all those biking yes yes yes oh yes!  Held my head up, and working legs kicking tight and free release done done done stop for coffee but not to drink but just to have, to think in, let me ride my cruiser to my death

I love being weird!  I do zig zags, Rush through Main Street!! Lightning yes yes yes take me there!  All body, liberation salvation!  Oh numbness of spirit!  Looking up and hearing voices, I am of stone!   Yes!!!

there was the right, sort of intoxication, the right concoction, the morning started with commotion, with worry about this and that, but was resolved really quickly, like a swift kick of a crying cat, I'm ready for a new day, I polished my hair and brushed my teeth, I won't forget where I came from, but ******, cold shower its a new day

yes

a bond between one and another, sinking in my back and curling through the stomach, pouring out the front, pouring into champaign glasses, on and on and on, at a party with different kinds of hats.  wishful thinkers, doing what they do best, making conversation that is pleasant, without a worry in the world, a stitch in the fabric of time

this group of people, have their white cloth and their pretty talk, think themselves the center of the universe, and why shouldn't they be?  the words have meaning, and the theories discuss take on a myriad of expressions and history

and at the same time, in the same instance, there is poverty, what of that thing?  clay pots and water that is cherished every day, brought in the daily bucket, brought in with heartbeat, heartbeat, heartbeat, drum drum, drum drum

A system systematically serenading itself with rhythms changing clockwork calculated nonsense

indifferent to itself, fluctuating frequently, standing still

quiet on top of an owls den, hooting its own demise at the wrong time

pass it on?  keep it alive?

drum, drum drum, time, time time

this doldrums,

it mediates between being something decent, a memory that holds leftover leaves
a sicly stomach for other purpose than than to remind the skeleto, or the bony crawler.. that midnight is approaching and it is the hour to find the next shadowy reserve

this doldrums is where I simply lay in the telephone machine, since it is ticking anyway and I don't see the use in following the clock, or the bunny rabbit, or the heart, or what have- you

painfully contented and jaded, is my cigarette thin enough yet?

my wrist watch has stopped ticking, too

and I wear it anway

on classy dinner dates

behaving like a ******* salesmen, behaving like a godcam salesman, the best one in town, who has no wonder where to run to, who is exhausting his best supply, who asks just the right amount of questions, wondering why wondering why, with questions and with answers, midght, ******* dancers, thanks kid rock, for your contribution to my confidence

I'm working on trying to maintain
a sense of tranquility
my diary
is filled with spontaneous arguments
and I am attempting to understand
just what makes it real
and at the beginning, it is mostly a reflection
on being an artist
but then later
it is something else
entirely
people come, people go
some grow young, some grow cold
Tom Petty
was a visionary

Through the mist, guiding the passions, fading and breathing in, staining the walls with the smell, the dank fragrance, memories stick like fly paper, album covers, or ways of speaking, scents can be everything, shaping the way we remember, wafting in and chugging towards the center of something, perhaps for attention, for roominess, for attraction, on one hand the raunchy and the rancid, or on the other hand, romantic, only a very fine line between rustic and grutesque, create all these memories, a hybrid of sensualities work to create the memory, like a necklace worn all night, then left at the bedside, the lover inhales and again he is in heaven

onward onward, the sensualities creating our memories, good or bad,  but what about the expressionless? who have high ceilings, who don’t create memory?  who do not have sense? these have masks, masks meant for neautrality, masks made for actors moving through space, neutrality has its own unique sensitivity, diluted in sink water, smells like minerals, which makes us think of water, neutrality, the cleansing

onward onward, potent as **** in parks, sometimes you can’t distinguish between the potent plant and skat, and sometimes that can be difficult, dare to know the different strands, dare to be a master of wine, dabbling in notes that are sung with different feasts, wine, and bread, and cheese

taste, driving us onward onward onward, relativity, driven to the ends of the earth by distinctions, with fine lines, onward onward, sifting through the mist, attempting to get a waft of the best of it

I'm the muskrat
Hairy, hazy, crazy, rat tailed
Pretty coat
I'm a rodent, a little flea, a pesky, petty problem, what you gone do about me?

I'm the muskrat, the mouse who flossed his teeth, fat when necessary

Far fetched and reaching, digs fast, burrowing, the scrat, the muskrat, low, low voiced, low creeping, smokey scrat ain't good for crap, the muskrat,

Breath Jim bean and smoke green, tell bad jokes just to be mean

Grrr urrnn, grrr urrnn raunchy, metal and eggs in the morning , coffee with cream, conditioned, spitting and ******

The muskrat

songs, senses pleasing themselves, beat, of silence, song, of *******, of lubrication, beat, of the time in a shift in conversation, expression, in the birds, who do it instinctually, to people, who do it as sponges, yes.  we are all spongbob, hurting and dancing and blowing bubbles, ready, ready, ready

is not supposed to mean anything

it floats like a bubble

and then it pops

and there is

wonder

and then its

over

Falling with shoe laces undone,
Only whispers, the quietness amidst grandiosity, majesty life beyond me
The tragedy is, I am melancholy, the family
Who don't know quiet, they judge often, they
Need control over each other, competition is so powerful
No silence, so love cannot grow, it is cheapened by talk, talking, exhchange,  The children crave approval
The parents crave limitless pride,
Everyone is disappointed, the gift merits more control
The mountain is not of character, rather it is God, only understood
Amidst the silence

I can feel the poem in my forehead

Stop editing, pull it out of you

Ermine dire Sanctus, Jesus burning in cackling solidarity tainted , save me, I surrender, take it, tear off the sarcasm, show me your light, your beauty
Too intense for the public, only known in silence, the majesty of great nature, the objective world, the spirit of chaos, ******* and spitting, unwrapping, giggling, *******, *******, sizing, ughhh putrid ugly hierarchical idiocy act, urching and lurching felt so secretly, brutality, eating its way out of the stocking, crispy toffee, Buddhist books that will never be read, shaving kids, raging!  Hurting, false gratitude, let it out!  Romping, stomping, groping for lustrous pious godless lurch, ****** through my pallet, based on experience, wreaking, cleansing

what for?  rambling peasants trying to let out a fury, fumbling with their sentences, letting their indulgences take over after grueling hours taking orders, what for?  A sacrifice for a kind of freedom?  what kind of freedom?  what am I seeking exactly?  You're questions are too many, your judgments multiply and snowball, stick together like monkeys in the barrel, you are chaotic, and I am fragile, what gives, why do I do this?

romance me

with your

macaroons

la dee da dee dooo

through the mist guiding the passions, fading and breathed in, staining the walls with the smell, the dank fragrance, memories sticking like fly paper, album covers and ways of speaking, scents can be everything, wafting in and chugging towards the center of something, the attention, the roominess, the raunchy, the rancid, or the romantic, only a very fine line between masculine and rustic, and their hybrid sensuates at the touch and is sensitive, a necklace worn all night is left at the bedside for a poor desperate lover, who does nothing but cling to it in the midst of his studies

onward onward, old smells and new ones, sometimes devoid of it, expressionless scents, who have high ceilings, their masks, masks meant for emotional recurrence, masks made for actors moving through space, neutrality has its own unique sensitivity, diluted in sink water, minerals that we don't know of, the actors

onward onward, potent as green dank in parks, distinguish between cow dung and the potent plant can sometimes be difficult, dare to know strands, dare to be a master of wine, on the other hand, dabbling in notes that are sung with different feasts, wine, and bread, and grass

taste, driving onward, taste in fragrance, relativity, yet grounded in set and nurturing baby powder, cool and refreshing, but driven to the ends of the earth with distinction, with fine lines, onward onward I stake to make my way but consistently do not understand it, scent

In the eyes of whom exactly?  In the eyes of the state? the state has many facets, the state functions with people who have lives, of humanity, of work days, of cups of coffee, of politics, of lack of movement, of diplomacy, of sweaty, of pushing and pulling, of treaties and binding treaties and the difference between the two, of norms?  of what kind of norms? and who enforces those norms?  and who is hungry

Rights?  In the eyes of god?  Whose god?  the god, a god, one god, many, more, more coming, one has already arrived?  all is well, all is hell, of the spirit?  of the mind?  rights in the eyes of the conscious? what's for breakfast today?  can't remember, rights in the eyes of ethics?  work ethics?  agreements? harmony?  whose harmony? and who decides?  with democracy?

ha, rights

Watch me perform rights on youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laoAZpn84rg&feature;=youtu.be

Time passing the clock ticking, tick, tick tick, the rattle of the water battle, the wobble of the support for my laptop, all working in tandem, oh, dreary delight of my god,

thank you for all you have blessed me with, my life has so many wonderful qualities that I get to cherish,

art and music and poetry are all so beautiful, Nietzsche would be proud about me doing it

there are people doing all kinds of things, and all of their lives have significance, there is a force driving them, beyond what we can understand

I indulge, I feel touched

Of roots, holding on with bitter taste, digging at the back, the sweaty fabric, the itchy pride, what to do, faith is peculiar and it has no bounds, faith is of stories that we tell, and heroes and villains have too much in common. Of roots, of where I came from, to I need to revisit on my brisk days of pleasant ride? while I'm breathing pure air, does the thought need to enter my head, what was? where will I be going? time, of roots, of long marathon, not sprint

Blue dream

I’m darkness

With wine

There was a point

Where the room stood still

A so did the trees

But now the traffic picks up In the background

The rabbits heard something

And the wind...it says shiloh, go West


Now I wish that I wasn’t so burdened

With the choice to go down two different streets

And burdened with time,

It’s being, in my veins like blue ink and making its way up to my brain to be wrapped in neural tubes till it drains cool aid from its corners.

I wish that a maker like Viggo would cast his pen that says Oscar and float down his invisible warrior chain for drama, ransom


The walks I’ve taken show that the branches supporting the local homes are well watered and well kept, construction
Sights and signs of prosperity

alright, and with that I step into the next intersection,

and check my blindspots

groommmm

hair hair haior, *******, nice little bottles of argon oil always brushing through the trend lines, going to the mirror for a look, one step at a time, marches at slow smokey march at a time, look right?  The flight jacket, the night jacket, no jacket, sweet **** sweet ****, got nothing, nothing to wear, nakedness!  Understated or understated, daring, daunting, flaunting, or cautious and cunning

draping yourself with silks for purposeful purposes, pushing for posh just for pastime, your packing a great reward of pios compliments, or respect unspoken, either way next to god, genuine, lovely

or not, or just of hastle, of constant tagedy, of struggle, of daily rotine driven you crazy

Ha oh weee

swings

signs cries lovely voice you decide on that
shirt

yellow

my favorite

intricate

she wears

tank top
and she is well

filled out

to her

she

smiles at me

I uppity

ruppity

cafffeine

at a cafe

chocolate bars

paintings

nice hat
do you like it
I like that part
funny

hee hee

sunflower

for you!
for me:?}?????
yes!
ahh
smell!
okay
rolling in the blades of grass
ice cream afterwords
popsicle
itching your neck


Sunflower

SUNFLOWER SANG:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iM4gJiov5eo

the rain is wonderful, it makes you feel like you are in a capsule, that you are cradled, and anything is possible, washing out the old day and bringing in the new, its nice, sometimes you drift away and find yourself falling into the couch, and you imagine the homeless, trying to keep dry, but perhaps they see it as a blessing too, a shower perhaps, they stink real bad

and then the bit of rain stops, and it reverts to a light sprinkle, and your ears perk up, waiting for the next hit, hoping for it, you feel the gust of wind the last one brought in, nice, the windows opened just so, drip drop, drip drop


and then you’re ******, why did it stop?
oh well
just keep
pondering

the keystone walls melting on on its of gold, taking their glistening edges, spreading all over, the foxes dipping in their hands in the outrage chase, dodging the bulders, putting down the poison that looks like the puddy, passing on the next seed, ears perked up, hunger and pity in the eyes, jesus I speak then I speak too quickly then I don’t speak quickly enough, wanting a few words to help me get through, but find that the words fall then the predictable precedents I’ve set for myself come back in a rush, and those who I at once thought were on my side have been injested, and I have become bigger, and even more confused.  The swag is definite, and I have a few directions, then I pull ojn the tabs and suddenly I’m back with some of my pals, hey arnold preaching his word, his riches heir, poetry and padding patty and curly, punching me in the gut, great little suite in a little niche, its the life, what do I compare the next thing to, the abstract seems even more real than any joke falling on an audience, with a dead face that gets a chuckle and the band falls on the downbeat, a dance to distract from the lack of content

where am I coming from?  Complete utter confusion, questions upon questions, leading me with no prejudice, missing the sweetness of pre-judgment, how it helped me get through days and dismiss, where is jesus?  I’m lucifer, pesticide and bourbon and swanky classes sketching hateful remarks into the desk ******* off professor clawson, sent to the office of vice principal dawson, not the alpha but the cronie who worships, trouble with no proper attention, tar with no high, get used to the asphalt,

Cold, savory, watery, long nights, blah blah blah

do one and then eagle, eagle it out, extended body, proud body, better body,

spread, spread like can't believe it

ate late te  ca tate

savor with character, meaning don't drink and drive

beer, cold, beer, yes

man, beer, cold, stoic, stone

battered, battled, tender living for, dying for, kratos and all of his gore

beers one hell of a *****, loving it more, confident and barley off limit

drink at 16, away with questions

Questions quietly dissipate, questions fly out door, drink given by gods for celebrate, sadness, sigh,

some do do do some don't don't don't then make group AA why why sway sway more more support support spokes spokes can't quite nicotine quit no smote mote vote, find given god chance

some go until the end of time, merry, fat, fine

beer, lovely, bubbly, headache, heartache, attack!! woah, take it back

Guiness with eggs at breakfast
pale ale with serious males
cider with lovers
gin for expression
whiskey for metal
wine for Bukowski, ******* his beauty, soul, ****, ****
Heineken for pretentious men


One more, again

Stuck inside
during a New York snowstorm
and the washing machine is humming
and the lady is singing
yeah, yeah, yeah things are
alright
and I'll sit here
and sip my coffee
and slip a klonopin
and I'll be
groovy
not a hippie.
literally, grooving

If

wish

and simple as that,

a twist...

even a poet could not resist

an orange peel

with their

iced tea...

the smoke from a hundred chimneys

and the rain from a thousand storm-clouds,

a city made of iron and brick

were we fooling ourselves to begin with?

If wish,

if only

and what's to be done next?  

simple as that,

and this twist?

(an elevator that goes to the moon

is even more irrisitable

to a fainted heart novelist)

ahh, a crafters fortune and vision

a grip on a tether ball, a step on a tight rope walker

falling forever into city

just a few more moments with I and I, just a few more bounds, the world really isn't about me at the end of the day, no, the world functions as a system, where there is pull and push but at the end a ravine, stuck and unstuck out of time, the perception, from the highest points and the lowest, girls, men, women, things, animals, eating up their own souls for the cold dip into the lake, we try our best to communicate, but voices are chordless under ice, we do what we can to make it better, a bit more kindness, just a bit sweeter,


I'd like to
slow down

the right type of distraction, any distraction, conversation, another....interpretation

another book, tell me should should should or hear or hear or feel
another way, another outlook, another ending

my restless bones bound for ******, for mud, for roller coaster, for high, octane fury, some sort of a blazing high lighter fluid disaster, tossed into the fire, and imploded in seconds, check to make sure there are no parents

the principles that brought me thought at one point now churn in uncontrollable dynamic

I'm not sure if there's any going back

at this point...

all these little things make sense in certain situations, but the intuition is the most deceiving thing of a lll, its completely in conflict with reason, but somehow the two connect and create  a though, nakedness, crossroads, a little thought, someone somewhere sees it, believes in it, calls for it, speaks, and, champagne glasses, toast, on, a moment, what for?

to understand, and to know when to protect, the greatest challenge

with the wind at my shoulder

standin on the rooftops

with a shine in my eye

standin on the rooftops

the wind gets colder

but hey, ain't life just divine?

NOPE

BAHAHHAHAHA

junior guards granting a mission to mars

penelope singing sweetly with michalel jackson, creepily cranking out smooth criminal with howling wolf,

mothers bathing their babies in brookes, blessed and stressed and bothered by the milkman

brandy brought in by buccaneers seeps quickly and sours stale tempers

beautiful bodies blanking when naked and with no lighting

coffee stains adding character to create extra bold whiteness for optimists

lovers kissing kindly and collecting each others debts of brokenness

Interestingly enough, a city filed with intoxicating dress, yes, I like the chucks and baggy pants, no I do not wear it myself, but I appreciate the look, with the Giants hat, let me write you a vignette, techies tools talking bout tacky office gossip and girls they will never ****, bahaha and iPods ipods iPods fueling a sweet melody for the ride in boxcar boxcar. Yas yad yas

People going to and from work , quieter, contemplative, examining their tax returns, the hat pulled down straight

people, ticking, tocking, the images of content, staring up with amusement, the people talk of beer, of business, in seriousness, the pamphlets, the trends, counters, crawlers, beggars, in solitude, all of them

have


lovers, insecurities, mal adaptations, taking the drug that says that the life is alright, and thats alright

the little town looks so real to them, they, use the crosswalk, they, stop at the red stop sign, they, don't make eye contact, because their purpose is

to purpose, their purpose is their power lunch, a power lunch, of a sandwich, what of a sanwhich?  and what does that have to do with the urban life?  

the power meal, designed with purpose, for purpose, in chairs that are made for rain, in intersections made for walking, in red lights made for stopping

and aliens must be amused, by the order, the roots must be...facinating

too human, too breathing
too efficient with language, with money
too sincere, too careful and humble
too aggressive, hold back
needs more tone on the upper note, create dissonance on the left and right side
more hot sauce
just a bit louder, cooler, warmer
too sitting, too long, face towards the window, wondering, planning
too conscious, ungrateful
yearing, looking for endings
irony, funny, witty, comparisons
don’t compare yourself to others
but listen to the life lessons of your elders
and be like them? better than them?
hug your mother, drive the car
enjoy the sunshine, the music, the freeway
deep breaths, sighs, oh yeah
here I am, again

my arms and legs, motionless, extended, floating, ahhh, with friends, in a canoe, rowing rowing rowing, the noises coming from everywhere, eventually upstream, moonbeams, the silences filled with the occasional boom boom, the jealousies, jealousies eating up my insides, but still my head extends out like branches, folding in with one another, thick and matted with bark, with birth, tattling over the spokes with claws, breathing and dipping into a pool that is freezing, let me start with something new, with a machete, cut the twigs that are dying, I collapse a vessel, stuck out of time, reaching for the next high, churning in my gut, home made ice cream, too thick to ingest, too light to cut

new icon, new little ones, like little presents, yeah etyeah yeah I ;like to exp,ore, like to implore your, thoughts, give me some questions!!!! I want more of them, I consume them like little drops of rain, on the tounge with the most excellent posture, writer singer porter er er er er er er er er lover hater STEALER faker STALE ADDN ILLL EAT YOUR BALLLS I WILLL EAT THJEM hahahahahha freaky Fine getting out of touch, where's it going, oh fake ouit, why why why out out out out out out 0out out itu loveer little learned to play this ******* thing like a goddamj keyboard out and in anan d in and out loveer s haters can't do without preserve it klhadridjfaj come on come yes yes lovers and screamers dreamers ******* lovers haters saviors finally coming out on top of the magnet, the magnet gravitating towards the same thing we've been hearing all goddammn doy aalll bundled up onto noises!!!!!!


NOFDSAJFDAJDFSADKS  
JFFOOOOOOOO
YEAHHHHHHHHH
aFJADJFAJFDJFJAJDFJFAJJDa
YAAAAAAAAAAJAa­
AFJDAFJADJFAAAAAAa
ASLAMSLSAMSLKASMASLMSLAMSLMSMALS
WORODORDORDODRODORDORDOR
TRITHITURHTURHTUIRHTURHTURHTUOLIEIEIELI­EIELKEILEIEILEILEIEI EYES YES EY ESYT EYS YSE YSE SY EY ESY EY SEY SY ES EY EY SEYE EY  Y
JAHAHAHAHAH
a

ends on a nice little key

seriously, don't worry about me

The will to be somewhere, right when you feel you are at your most joyous moments, dissipates because you want to preserve your moments of comforts.  The message is good, should get more messages.  This coffee is nice, could use more cream.  Taste is tantalizing, comfort works in tandem with fear.  victim, silenced refugee living out his last days, whatever you want to call it, abstraction, necessity driving behaviors

behaviors fascinate me, probably because fears fascinate me.  I am very interested in the relationship between passion and reason, I have a few ideas, and I wrote a paper called Halloween Logic, in which I explored the relationship, but to philosophize is ****, its useless, but stoics do because their presence demands it.  Take my word for it

Do you go to get a coffee because your body and mind craves coffee, or do you go to get coffee because you want to stay awake?  do you go to get coffee because coffee tastes good?  do you go to get coffee to relax in a cafe?  Do you need coffee to read the news?  Do you like it with cream?  sugar?  brown or regular?  splenda?  

Or do you get coffee because you are afraid of being uncomfortable.  comfort fascinates me, because we are a culture obsessed with it, comfort comfort comfort, what does it truly mean to be comfortable?  to have the right set of circumstances in a particular moment in order to get the most out of enjoyment?  is comfort a habit, a function of the brain which we do not entirely understand?  

To a philosopher, behaviors are driven by fear, I go to get the coffee because I am afraid of the consequences of not getting a coffee; I am afraid of being uncomfortable.  because comfort is...everything...to a human, to a human who knows surplus, who knows taste, who believes one cup of espresso is better than a standard cup of black, taste drives the desire for comfort, and we behave to be more comfortable, and we behave because we are fearful of the consequences of not behaving


So would you like room for cream?

Catchy

what does it mean to be catchy?+++++++++++++++++  To be in tune with some sort of cultural phenomenon?  yes, I believe that is the reason
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
catchy, may come from some kind of tune, but there a lot of tunes, why are some of them catchy?  because of the way they are associated with some kind of emotion of the moment, I believe
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
the key to creating catchy is to understand the essence of the emotion attached to the phrase, then to skip hop over it, like childplay, to start from a deep philosophy then turn it into a joke

over wine

yes, oh yes_--

over wine___

the mind

is delicious

and life

is divine

The different factions spreading, interacting, substantive stories vs news stories, elements of truth. That go behind the lines, turning through the streets, jerking around the wifi signals, you're in deep, the picture and the humor, sarcasm seeping into the minds, sexting the pope, letting him know, Jesus walks the earth again, documentaries replacing the text, it's combustion in a little tube, an extension, Realism somewhere distant in our heads, a dream of universalism we all woke up from, wanting to buy into the sensuality of modernity, all encompassing, petty glances from older strangers as we peer into our windows, flying miles away, the creative force of the nihilists who find God in escape

Regeneration-

In a perpetual state of educations, flaring neuron, confused and neglected, the Chemical reactions, the think tank, silence in the face of music, the life game with a set number of rules, the odd numbers muliply, divide, in my case the ones with the rancid breath who club to the other and make the third stay in debt