Your like a fake diamond ring,
Pretty to look at but can only make me smile for a week,
Before the vagueness of it's molecule turns your finger green,
Ya, I'm saying you are fake as ****,
You and your buddy are just sitting ducks,
*** I don't give a **** about a soul now,
I was on my way to turn into solid gold but how?
Now that you reminded me exactly why I only trust myself and **** everybody else!
I'm on a mission to destroy you,
Ya, you came in really strong shinning like a golden dollar,
But now with time you've lost all your luster,
It's too bad,
So sad,
You can never treat a woman right,
Now tell me who's the lonely one now?
Tell me what you really got?
Show me what I haven't got?
Tell this bitter melon again that her anger will keep her lonely until her dying day,
Who the hell is gonna keep you company?
No one!
*** no one likes a narcissistic liar,
No one trust a flaunter,
All the evidence of your destruction is making you sink faster!
I told you!
**** with me,
I'll ******* twice,
I will destroy your entire life,
Everything you held so dear that you cherish will be mine,
I will strip you like a freshly waxed floor of your ego, your ***** appointments coming to a sudden halt, that job that makes you all that money imma take that too,
You made a grave mistake in thinking that I was too weak to get away,
My pain isn't a weakness it's my energy,
I'm small but blow up in your hand like a hand grande ,
I locked my sights onto you I'm coming in silent like a ******,
Shoot to ****,
Trust me I got an Ill will,
Your fake as ****,
Could only make me smile for about a week,
then after that you turn the soul to green,
but not me!
I don't even have a soul to sell,
I pawned that **** so long ago,
I am something that you won't forget until your dead,
Run that sorry line by me again,
Prove to me your a "Real Man",
I'll pull your sheets as your on your knees kissing my hands,
I can assure you I am something you will definitely regret!

Some day I'll be able to speak your name without any pain,
One day I'll talk about all the wonderful things you said,
Some day I'll be able to talk about the highlights of our lives together,
But today I avoid mention of your name *** the ache is too much to handle,
One day I'll be able to speak your name without tears rolling down my face,
Some day I'll fully forgive myself & not carry survivors guilt that stained me after your death,
One day I too will close my eyes FOREVER return to the ground I lay on,
Some day I won't blame myself and will be able to speak about you without chocking back tears

Her soul was a soul on fire
A burning campsite of desire
Her mind was a rubics cube of sorrows never told
The anchor that she carries will never really unfold
Because her soul was on fire,
Burned everyone who came too close
Her heart is wrapped in iron to protect her fractured ego
The sutures all broke off and the Evil just seeped through
Everyone likes to put in their two-sense
But their nuisance is ******* too

I still cry sometimes..
When no one's looking
I still hurt sometimes...
But no one knows it

Sometimes I think I like you
Sometimes I **** just despite you
Sometimes I like the fantasy
That one day I might want you

Most times Im just alone
Most times I'm just ******* bored
I get annoyed when you call
I told you don't blow up my phone!

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be cold
**** it, I told you feelings I don't hold
I told you I'll call when I want
I don't like the feeling of being owned

Sometimes I think I could stand you
Most times I drink just to forget you
And how ******* cringe you really are
you mean nothing to me

Sometimes I hate myself for being this way
This was never who I really been
Sometimes I just fake that I care
So I don't feel bad about myself

Most times I'm filling the void
I picked you to fill in the time
Sometimes I tell myself I'm not this ****** up
But baby you're just here to stain the sheets

I know how short the time is
I know that it's not infinite
I basked in the sunshine and took advantage
Not knowing how short life is

One day I'm so deep in love with you
I thought it was forever
Next day I get a phone call
The coroner needs to identify your cadaver

I know how short the time is
I know that it's not infinite
One day I thought you were my lover
The next day I almost got ***** by our mutual friend

Still I'm kinda stubborn
I don't wanna believe hope does not exist
I don't wanna be cold like my mother
I want to feel loved again

I know how short the time is
I know that it's not infinite
But for now I'd like to pretend
That I like you and you like me
so we can share warmth with our flesh
Before the pain is fresh

I've spent so long in hibernation
My heart has reached freezing temperatures
I know we don't get much time together
I'd like to savor these moments

I'd like to pretend I'm Robin Hood stealing time with you

I hurt myself on the outside ,
To **** the thing on the inside,

Hoping some day this dagger plunges deep enough to ***** me out,

See baby I'm suicidal.
I play with fire,
Flirt with death,
I decorate my deathbed,

Destroy me on the outside,
To distract from what eats at me on the inside,

Everyday 100 scenarios play like movie reels inside my head,
Jump in front of a train,
Hang myself from the beam above my head,
Til my employer finds me blue and dead,
Drink another bottle of ***,
Jump in my car, get out and DRIVE,
Head-on collision all while I'm toasted and High,

And this is the story of my life,
*** baby I'm suicidal,
And when you left I came unglued

I watch em frolick in the sun,
Reminiscing of a time...
A time when I was happy in the sun,
Now I stand here in the shade,
Cursing summer that I now hate,
I watch em holding hands,
Tied together with rubber bands,
They lean into each other share a kiss,
Something that I truly miss,
Was hoping love would last FOREVER....
But all I was a summer dump

Don’t fall in love with me,
We know I’m not the one,
Don’t set your sights on me,
You know she’s just far gone,
Don’t try to buy my love,
Get clingy then I run,
I don’t believe in summer fun,
With summer love I’m DONE.

I tease the thought of what love could be,
I tease the thought with a fine toothed comb,
Weaving intricate designs that appeal to the eye and mind,
I think about all the fruits he brought,
Sweet tooth tricked my brain into thinking bitter fruit was bliss,
I tease the thought of love with ease,
But the bitter after taste stung my lips with a poisoned kiss,
I flirt with the fantasy that love may be real,
I **** the flame the moment I feel,
I've walked the walk enough times to know...
That love teases me and I don't tease it.

He said I found someone,
I really like her,
She wears glasses,
Reminds me of you,
She's on the bigger side,
She's independent too,
But she supports LGBTQ,
I said: Haaa that's gay!
"don't **** it up now" ,
She sounds like a softer version of me wow,
He says: "she's tomboyish but she's kinda lazy she talks too much, she might get clingy" ...
I said: "that's too bad, maybe that's not water weight"
But honey there's only one of me,
You said you didn't like me *** I'm too ******* mean,
Now you got a girl that's " kinda like me"
You make comparisons but I'm a limited edition and deep down you know she's just the temu version of me

Ya, I'm sad girl,
I'm a hurt girl,
Sink to the bottom,
Float to the top girl,
Because I want more,
Even though I'm still sore,
I can't play at the bottom and let it soak,
Cut my oxygen but I'll never croak,
Hold all my pain back in a chokehold,
Yes I'm a bad *****,
Got that mad itch,
Dont step over my toes I'll make your eye twitch,
The blood on my hands,
I had em wiped clean,
And there's nothing more they can take from me,
I had nothing to lose,
Everything to gain,
And life's just another roller coaster another gamble in this card game.

As I step out into the darkness seemingly alone,
There's a bright ray of light that eclipses the dark,
And it don't matter where I walk, or where I wander,
This light always finds me in my darkest hour,
As I look up into the sky, the stars form a staircase,
Leading me to its mystical leader,
That outshines the streetlights, and even the stars.
I've already seen the dark side of the moon,
But, it also whispers to me "Don't fear the dark",
As it covers me in a blanket of stars all shinning with the light of the moon,
"Well hello my friend, my love, don't fret",
"If ever shall you be afraid call out to me",
"And I will walk you home when you need",
"Pave the sidewalks with the light of my aura"
"And smile upon you as you skip home in my glow",
"You can always speak to me whenever your low",
"*** I'm a good listener, when no one will hear you",
So, I gaze into the sky every night as I walk home.
I don't ever fear the dark anymore,
And I call out to him just for companionship,
It doesn't take long before his light shines upon me,
Always ready to walk me home.
Where ever I may wander or roam. LIGHT IN THE SKY"

                R.I.P.
      IRISH WHISLER
(7/16/1971- 7/7/2015)

There once was a broken half princess,
That needed a well matching half,
She one day pulled out her heart,
Then kept it safe in a jar,
It floated in her tears for months and months,
A year or 2 later shook that old jar,
And saw it has been long enough,
With fear in her mind and hope in her heart,
She finally opened that jar,
Along came a prince in her sight,
she thought was worthy enough,
So she trusted him with her broken heart,
He held it until it was warm,
Then heard it beat like a drum,
She said "FINALLY, put it back in its place",
The charming prince completed her broken half,
Months later she started to rot,
With the stench of deceit and a wandering eye,
She thought she was more than enough.... For him to crown her #1,
Sometime later he decided she wasn't enough,
Now Dethroned to take second place,
When she asked why he lied in her face,
With his guitar played her a melody of decay,
Quickly draining her of a beautiful soul,
Her body riddled with pain,
As his body was stained with someone else's skin,
Like it was some kinda of twisted parade,
The broken princess said "I've had enough!",
So she pulled out her bleeding heart and tore it in half,
Saddened with his selfishness,
She locked herself up in that tower again,
This prince kissed her cheek that poisoned her skin,
Then she said: "sorry I wasn't enough...."  And never dared to love again
       -Dedicated to: Hector G.

Sometimes, I can't hold it together,
My silence isn't really strength,
Sometimes, it's an emotional shock,
So my silence is to keep me from falling apart,
Sometimes, I just need a solid a hug,
To keep all my broken pieces from falling apart,
But sometimes, it's just too much to ask,
Because everyone assumes I'm in no need for human affection,
Most times, I just hold my breath,
I feel my exploding heart in my neck,
Sometimes, I just need a hug,
Something genuine where people aren't trying to take advantage to feel me up.

Sweet 16 was when I found myself roomed in Cerritos psych ward,
2 other girls roomed with me,
One kinda like me,
I still have a piece of her converse sneaker logo as a suvenir of my teenage years,
The other girl was a beautiful girl,
Who cried everyday,
And slattered makeup before going to bed,
A beautiful girl with a stain in her smile,
And a **** to her ego,
I sat in this room and saw many come and go,
I'm still stuck here....
With a suicidal mind a flow,
Self esteem sunk low,
Taste for life gone bland,
Took this hand full of pills,
Hope to sleep at last... FOREVER.
Didn't happen,
I'm getting stuck with needles on a daily,
Monitored my food intake on a daily,
Anorexia nervosa won't let me,
But the girl at Cerritos psych,
She still my roomie and others are gone....
Then back,
Then gone again,
The pretty girl at Cerritos psych,
With big eyes, full lips and gorgeous brunette hair,
She's still stuck in Cerritos psych,
*** daddy told her that she's ugly and she's worthless only has a use for one thing,
And to this day I wonder if she ever saw her reflection??
Has she finally seen beauty within?
Or is she still stuck in Cerritos psych ward

Why is it that human kind are at the top of the line.... Yet we cannot be kind to ourselves let alone a fellow human being?!??
Why we may have thumbs,
And walk upright,
Have the biggest brain,
Enough to have the option to make choice,
Yet we've lost our voice,
We are the worst animals on planet Earth....
But do you know WHY???
Because with our "big brains" we chose to hold another down,
Instead of bringing them a step up,
We chose to hurt, lie and ****** just out of greed,
Just for kicks,
Yet an animal does only solely to survive,
Maintain their race,
Yet we destroy each other with such haste,
convinced this is the only way to come up,
We are the human animal,
Because nothing of our way of being shows were anything more that just another animal,
The only difference is we walk, we speak, we "think" or so we should.....
Instead we step on toes,
Cause more woe,
Let greed run our ****** up minds,
But we are all just human-animals,
Blessed with a posable thumb!

"THE INVISIBLE KILLER"
By: Scar Savage

DEPRESSION.
Is the invisible killer,
The unseen disease that people just brush off and say:
"It's all in your head"
But... That's just it.
It IS IN MY HEAD.
And that's EXACTLY why I can NEVER seem to run from it..
Although I don't SEE it, it ALWAYS seeks me,
And when I tell somebody they just tell me I'll be ok, and it'll pass,

Well it's been 30 years ***** when is THAT suppose to happen??!
People think it's not real because they don't SEE.
But, you don't SEE THE WIND...
BUT YOU STILL FEEL IT!!
And I feel this EVERY ******* DAY!
And it's killing me, it's eating at my soul til I decay!

But that's ok. *** your ok right?
It's all in my head and you feel none of it,
Oh and BTW I "choose" to be this way,
Tell Me, WHO THE **** CHOOSES TO FEEL LIKE **** Everyday!!!

It's as involuntary as blinking and breathing!!
But it don't exist *** it don't show up on a blood test or upon my skin,
Until the day I actually turn Grey from death,
Because I got tired of "choosing" to BE THIS WAY!!

HELLO MY NAME IS DEPRESSION.
YOUR GOING TO DIE THIS WAY!

Shes a tiny glass menagerie
Action packed just let her be,
She's jaded she's not broken,
Her boiling rage is just a token,
Her best feature,
She's a creature beneath the human skin,
Underlying,  there's no denying,
The past is exactly what had built her,
Why yes, oh yes, she's beautiful,
A beautiful disaster dancing in a music box,
Dancing circles around dismounted dreams,
She stares at her reflection....
Her only true companion... A reflection of a cracked girl trapped within the mirror

She is the methamphetamine queen, hard and lean,
Tall and mean.
But she doesn't think,
*** she's sunk so deep.
Never in her wildest dreams did she dream of this,
To smoke up her dreams.
Caught up in a summer's eve,
With her skin a glow,
Blew her first cloud of smoke,
To swallow her whole.
Without reason or remorse,
Blindly to this course,
Caught up in that summer haze,
Got lost in that methamphetamine daze,
Now she hides in the shadows of the night,
Fixing her next high.
She's the methamphetamine queen.
Hollow yet so deep,
But what made her start?
She was so **** smart.
Now she's pale and wasted,
The lost she can taste them,
As she comes crawling out of her dark alley way,
She Misguides them her way.....
She's the queen of methamphetamine,
Cold and dead,
Off with your head.
She don't care none.
High and dry,
Too broke to get high.
So she lures them in.
To her world of self -destruction.
With no concept of time, or why?
Living to get high,
Hiding from the light.
*** at night she's beautiful and free,
And in the day she's ugly and unclean.
But what made her turn to this?
Screams of **** and ******.
She took control of her best weapon of them all,
Her body.
Her temple.
Weathered.
With the pains her beauty brings....
Screams of help....
Cries in questions......
Why her beauty made her target,
Of deviance, abuse, and hopelessness.
She's the methamphetamine queen....
So tired and on speed.
She was all you dreamed.....
Beautiful, carefree....
She's the methamphetamine queen.....
High-strung and light years apart.
She's the methamphetamine queen,
Tall and lean.
Hard and mean....
She's the methamphetamine queen/ faded dream.
You can show her the way.....
But she hesitates.
Bring her all the wonders of the world,
But she don't care.
And she don't feel or sleep or eat.... *** she's.....
THE METHAMPHETAMINE QUEEN.

It's sad.
People think I'm doing better,
But I've only gotten better at masking the pain,
And I wish that it would all wash away with the rain...
But it's California,
It never rains,
So I carry this ache like the heavy weight,
Of a dead man,
Disguising my brokenness with a smile,
Try to hold it just a little while,
Long enough to run to the bathroom,
Run the shower,
So I can finally release the distress of holding it all in,
All my glued together pieces of my broken soul,
And I sit in here let the hot water scorch my crooked spine,
As I sit here and cry,
On the bathtub floor and the bathroom floor,
As I nod my head and beat my brain and subtly let out muffled screams,
It's sad,
It stings and Burns and hurts,
I rather be tortured and bruised,
Then I compose myself,
Cover up the decay,
And take a deep breath,
Prepare myself and step back out like I didn't just break down,
But no one knows about it.

Imma be popping these pills til I disappear,
Popping these pills til my mind is clear,
Walking down the street grin from ear to ear,
I worry about no one because I don't have any fear,
I can be the nicest person or your biggest regret,
But if you true and stick to your word than you have nothing to fret,
And I can bet just about anything even in my sedative state,
That I'm cool and step up to the plate,
My love is a wildfire that clears the most dense of forests,
My rage is weapon that cuts a person out as quickly as you cut a bad habit,
Which version of me you meet that's up to you to decide,
And if your true to form than you have nothing to hide,
But I keep it real,
Wether these wounds stay open or heal....
But I'll be popping these pills til the day that I die,
Because if I don't I split all my sides,
And that's when the darkness that hides takes its opportunity to come out and play in the dark,
Where the shadows dance and the moonlight makes musick with it's light

If I wish upon a star will my dreams ever come true?
If I hold the moon in my hands will I absorb it's light?
And if I do will it be bright enough for you to see me?
In the dark?
If I cover myself with the milky Way will it feel just like your embrace?
Or will I only be a miniscule speck in the mass of all its majesty?
Will I ever be the Apple of your eye?
And the fire in your *****?
Will my love burn hotter than the scorching sun or will you let it turn to ashes?
Will a kiss on the lips and a touch of your soul make you believe...
I am worthy enough to be placed on the highest pedal stool in the kingdom of your torn up heart?
Can two broken people put all their broken pieces together and mend the damage of lover's past.
or are we just too broken a void in the sky.
-Scar Savage

He loves me...
I can tell by the way he smiles at me,
He loves me...
I can tell by the way he looks at me,
He scars me...
With a single word he shoots me down,
He drowns me,
With words of sweet nothingness .
But I know.
Yes I know... He'll never leave,
*** I know he loves to torture me the most,
He Loves me...
I can tell by the way my face has swelled,
But he loves me.
I can tell by the shades of purples and green,
He calls me....
Only to soothe his own shame & guilt.
And drowns me...
In a sea of liquor so he can have his way with me.
But I.....
I stay.
*** I know nothing more....
Than this life of misuse and abuse.
But he loves me!
I can tell by his apologies,
But he loves me....
I can tell by the dozen roses he sent to me.
Oh he chokes me.....
With the same hands that once comfort me,
And he burns me,
Faster than a house on fire.
But he loves me.......
He can be violent, harsh, and sweet,
And I spend my days walking on a wire,
But he loves ME!!
I can tell by the way he says: "IM SORRY."

I'm sober now
My head ain't stuck in a smoke cloud
I'm smart now
But I still feel like I'm dumb

I know now
Right from wrong
But I been dead for so long that I'm still numb

What stings the most
Are talks with my mother over coffee
She reminds me
Of all the things I used to do

She tells me
Prima, you're really good with your hands...
Remember when you used to paint and fix things?

I stay silent because I know
I know I used to be so much more
I've finally grown up enough to come out my shell
And explain to her all the drugs I did killed my inner self

She tells me
Prima, you used to sing so good...
Maybe you should go back to that it was therapy to you,
I tell her I don't do that anymore..
I don't have time
But I know I lie

I'm sober now
And I feel myself coming back to life
Yet there is still a part of me that dies
I don't feel things like I used to do before

Before the drugs
Before twisted love
Before this thing they call growing up

What stings to me the most
Is the things my mother knows
The things that I forgot that I can do
That most girls dont

She says to me
Prima, didn't you used to dance with a hula hoop?
I said.. I stopped doing that because I got so skinny from the withdrawals that it hurts

My mother she reminds me of all the things I forgot that I could do
Like outsmart the cops, fix my car, and create things with these broken hands I own

I love your insecurities,
The things you see,that I don't see,
I examine you like a specimen, a wonder, like a new invention,
You'll never catch me staring,
But I'll tell you that I do,
I may not use words to express all that I harbor....
But, I use the language of my body and the curves of my spine,
Quench your thirst with my lips,
Press the mass of you against my borders,
I'll use all the things I Despise about myself, like I see no fault in them,
I'll kiss every scar on your body and caress everything you hate about yourself,
I'll change the bad taste on your tongue with a kiss sweet as cherry wine,
And although I throw blows like the arms of a brother,
I am tender with the love of a mother,
And I don't fear to see what your afraid to reveal,
I crave to taste all of you...
the good, the bad, the ugly. ALL THE THINGS YOU HATE YOURSELF.
-Scar Savage

Your just like toilet paper...
See thru like a colorform,
Your just like toilet paper...
Use once and then destroy,
Your just like toilet paper...
Weak-willed tears up when in rain,
Your just like toilet paper...
Drop you in a porcelain thrown just rid of you like a bad habit,
Your just like Toilet Paper...
Wipe my *** with your face when I'm done giving a ****,
Your just like toilet paper...
You are only a DISPOSABLE poor excuse of a human being!

One day you'll know..
How much I loved you,
How much I meant everything I ever said,
But by then it'll be too late,
And I won't be here,
*** I'll be DEAD.
I'm almost there and yes I know it,
In time you will too,
When the Earth loses all color,
And her voice echoes in your dreams,
When you try to seek for that same fire in everyone but me,
And you realize what you just did,
When kisses become bitter and bitter with every set of lips,
And on that day you'll know,
How much she really adored you,
But you devalued all her efforts despite her damaged heart... She STILL mustered all her broken will to shower you with love,
All the love that eventually broke her,
All the love she never got,
But by then it'll be too late,
You've made the same mistake AGAIN,
Only this time you'll truly regret it,
And you can blame yourself for her demise this time,
When you hold another lover and her embraces are shallow and cold,
When you take her out to places we went to,
You'll see her shadow dancing in the background like a vivid memory,
When you lay with her in bed wondering why you feel like your so dead,
And she can't even hold a candle to half the things that she did,
Remember how much she loved you,
When you left her here for Dead.
And your poor attempt to replace her  will devour everything in your wake.

I'm like a Venus flytrap
I don't move for anyone
I don't go chasing my dinner
or my lunch

I'm like a Venus flytrap
I stay still within my potted soil
I only open my jaws when waiting for my food to land

I'm like a Venus flytrap
Trapping boys within my jaws
Once my trigger hairs are touched
My leaves snap shut
Sealing my prey inside

Waiting for disintegration
Turning you to liquid
as I swallow you whole

I'm like a Venus flytrap
My body only opens up a limited amount of times
If you touch me too much
my life expires
and I will surely die

I've watched the day from sunrise to sunset,
I've watched it turn from day to night and back again,

My body is tired,
My mind's awake,
The soul it NEVER rest,

The days my mind finally shuts down,
My body crumbles....
They are the Best,
Those are the nights I close my eyes,
Close my mind and finally put myself to REST.

Today I had a really exciting day,
I couldn't wait to send you a txt but ..... Wait..
I forget, that was yesterday..
And today's another day I'm alone AGAIN,
But I couldn't wait to vent,
And I couldn't wait to laugh, I completely forgot that you aren't there & this is our last good bye,
And I have no one else to pass the time,
Dry my own tears every night,
Like it's just a piece of pie,
And I can't tell you how many times I wanna die,
But I keep it all inside,
*** I'm not yours,
And you were never mine,
I hold myself at night to keep all my pieces in place inside,
So I don't lose my whole self this time,
And I picked up the phone to tell you what's on my mind,
But we ain't cool like that,
You ****** up my whole mind,
Im screaming deep inside and no one pays me any mind,
I smiled when I saw your name pop up,
I wanted to make you laugh,
Picked up the phone then I  remembered... We are done,
And we don't talk like that anymore.

I'll tell you what it's like,
To be a Mother & play Father,
How I had to explain why daddy didn't call on her birthday,
How he didn't meet her under the tree @school...

Like he did every morning to say:
"What are you going to be when you grow up?"
A MODEL, A SCIENTIST, AN ARTIST
Then he kissed her and parted with: " I love you, I'll see you later"
BECAUSE WE NEVER SAY GOODBYE, GOODBYE IS FOREVER,

So I'll tell you how it feels to be a mother of a child with a deceased Father....

It feels like my life is not my own now,
It feels like I'm only good because I have her,
It taste almost like Failure because this image of the perfect family I never had, that I tried to build... Is now more broken than the one I grew up in,

It feels like SACRIFICE,
Tears & Laughter ALL @THE SAME TIME,
Being a Mother feels like Im starved, sleep deprived, and on my toes at any given times,

But... It's OK..
Because I KNOW SHE NEVER NEEDS or HUNGERS for anything,
I ignore my own needs to meet hers,
I never treat myself because if I do I feel guilty for not treating her,

Every Xmas I pay the bills,
And spend the remainder EVERY PENNY ON HER,
And it's OK... Because I live to see that smile on her face,

Being a mother feels like your a great Wall of salt rock standing firm against the tides,
That relentlessly pound & crash into your aching bones,
Being a mother feels like you draw strength and power that you NEVER had before,

Being a Mother proves an empty shattered sould can harvest love in the darkest of places,
Being a mother morphs you into super woman,
All of a sudden you can fight the world,
If ANYONE attempts to harm my girl,

Being a mother is smiling thru the day, breaking down at night,
Wake up in the morning, wipe them tears til Dry,
Cook, Clean, Work, every night,
Bend over backwards til it's almost natural,

Being a Mother shows the world that even though your ****** up,
YOU COULD MAKE SOMETHING SO PERFECT IN THIS WORLD.

What's left of a 6 ft man?
Of 185 lbs pounds.....

From alpha male to ash and dust,
And now the wind I have to trust..

To guide me to that place above that
everyone speaks of,

What's left of a sturdy man?
A pile of bones ash- dust,
Stuffed inside a cardboard box,

The man I used to hold and love...
Delivered to me in a 1 ft. Box.

I'll keep him near,
right by my side,
Until I too return to dust.

You we're only in love with me for what you could turn me into,
but you never loved me for me.

you loved me as far as you can mold me,
you loved me as much as you can stand me,

You were only in love with the version of me that you thought you could change,
Into the version of your perfect self you wanted me to be,

You were only infatuated with the idea of me,
you were only in love with my body but never for me,

But you failed to compromise and you minimised,
Failed to comprehend that when you say I Love You that it means you love that person as a WHOLE.

That love should be infinite without limitations.

I'm sorry while I disappear..
It's the only thing that's real,
I'm sorry I don't wanna feel,
I'm killing all my sudden fears,
With absence,

I'm sorry if it's been too long,
Since the last time we have spoken,
I don't really have an explanation,
For all of my broken vibrations,

But disappearing is the only thing I'm good at,
Always running,
Always becoming,
Someone new,
Someone you don't know,

And maybe being a ghost is where I feel the most comfortable,
Because I have always been here... In body,
But my mind has always been gone,

Lost in space,
Lost in time,
Lost in all that could have beens,
I'm sorry that I disappear because it makes me feel unreal,
And I like it

I wrapped it up in foil,
I didn't want it to ever spoil,
I stuck it in the freezer,
Heard freezing prolongs shelf life,
I wrapped it up in foil,
But freezerburn has set in,
It's destroying all the good that was left deep within,
I wrapped it up in foil,
But her heart was a machine never oiled,
I wrapped it up in foil,
But with your touch she was quick to spoil.

You haven't seen me smile..
For a long, long time now,
I bet you thought the light's out,
I bet you thought nobody's home,
Well, I haven't been around much...
But I guarantee you I was still here,
I was watching from a distance,
What you do in shadows thinking I'm not there,
You haven't seen her smile in a while,
I bet you thought you cut her lights out,
Your like a Double sided 2-faced coin,
Thought you could handle two guns and a fire,
You got your finger on the trigger...
But your trigger finger's MINE,
Shot yourself on one foot,
And tripped over the other,
I bet you saw her cry alot,
I bet you told your friends,
We haven't smiled for a while ...
But we'll see who's laughing at the END.