I'm sober now
My head ain't stuck in a smoke cloud
I'm smart now
But I still feel like I'm dumb

I know now
Right from wrong
But I been dead for so long that I'm still numb

What stings the most
Are talks with my mother over coffee
She reminds me
Of all the things I used to do

She tells me
Prima, you're really good with your hands...
Remember when you used to paint and fix things?

I stay silent because I know
I know I used to be so much more
I've finally grown up enough to come out my shell
And explain to her all the drugs I did killed my inner self

She tells me
Prima, you used to sing so good...
Maybe you should go back to that it was therapy to you,
I tell her I don't do that anymore..
I don't have time
But I know I lie

I'm sober now
And I feel myself coming back to life
Yet there is still a part of me that dies
I don't feel things like I used to do before

Before the drugs
Before twisted love
Before this thing they call growing up

What stings to me the most
Is the things my mother knows
The things that I forgot that I can do
That most girls dont

She says to me
Prima, didn't you used to dance with a hula hoop?
I said.. I stopped doing that because I got so skinny from the withdrawals that it hurts

My mother she reminds me of all the things I forgot that I could do
Like outsmart the cops, fix my car, and create things with these broken hands I own

I didn't give you flowers
I gave you a child instead
I tried to fertilize your soil
But when I found you
You were already dead

I tried to give you sunshine
You swallowed my light instead
That girl you made your wife
Turned to the darkness before she became a gem

I shoulda gave you flowers
When you were still my man
But you ****** upon my soil
And I wilted before our end

I shoulda gave you flowers
I gave you my heart instead
And now I place those flowers
Upon your shallow grave

I finally got my flowers
10 years after your death
It took your bones to fertilize my soil
So I can grow again

I need some deep stimulation
I need some real conversation
Sick of these one sided responses
I'm bored with your lack of acknowledgement

I'm tired of bland personalities
I like seasoning in my chicken
I feel like I'm talking to myself
When I'm talking to you..
I think...
Am I?
Hellooo?!?!?

I need some real stimulation
Talking to boys today feels like a simulation

Nothing feels real
Nothing feels here
Everything seems so foreign
So distant
So ******* platonic

Isn't it something ironic
You front like your so iconic
But baby I'm out of this world
You step in my pan
Baby I'm hot
you'll get cooked

I need some real stimulation
I need to feel like your present
I need to feel like your REAL

If you can't keep up
then honey I'm DONE
I'm ready to start with castration

All these vague admirations
Got me in a tangled frustration
I need a real connection
I'm sick of this simulation

If you can't deliver that talk
Then ***** please step off and take your *** to the back of the line where you ******* belong

I'm petite
I'm not fragile
I'm meat
I'm not glass

I eat
Like I'm not hungry
But I bite
Like I'm STARVING

I stay celibate
Not by choice

I'm just tired
of opening my body
to undeserving lovers

I keep chastity
To keep my sanity
Because sometimes I don't play well with others

But I'm raw
Like premium sushi
It ain't fun
If it isn't rough

Don't be tender
I ain't soft
Mark my body
With a pretty bruise

I wear bite marks
Like the rich wear diamonds
I leave claw marks
Like the undead trying to escape a coffin

We can toss around
Like a merry-go-round
Don't you act
Like you ain't been around

I like that grip
Around my throat
Make it tight
Like a cherry chokehold

I will smile
Like you gave me flowers

Just because I reject everyone
Doesn't mean that when I finally ****** you
I won't ******* for hours

I wish you looked at me like you did before..
With love in your eyes and fire in your heart,
I wish I looked at you like I did before..

Before we met,
No expression,

Just another face in the crowd,

I wish I never found love with you,
So that I may never feel hurt,
or ache or taste the stinging kiss of how you betray,

I wish I never traded my trust,
For your lust,
My unrelenting love for yours that was nothing but a pain

I don't want that fake kinda love
Love you only under the sheets
love you only in the dark

I want that real kinda love
Old fashioned like a sundae with a cherry on top
Love you in the daylight
Fix it when it breaks apart

I don't want that cyber kinda love
Artificially generated
Love you only in private
Don't even know you in public

I don't want that fake kinda love
I want the real love
The kind that makes you wanna show off

I don't want this Gen Z kinda funk
Act like you want me
then act like a punk

I want that real kinda love
Old fashioned ******* the rocks

I don't want this hide how you
feel because you trying to be hard
I want that classic vintage
Coca-Cola with ******* type of love

I got the call from a dear dear friend,
He got the call from his daughter Jessi,
He said "I think they found him you gotta come down to 14th st"
"He has no ID come identify him"

I had already been searching for him for about a week,
Missing persons with no name to him,
I dropped off the baby at school and took myself to 14th Street,

Cold blue sheet covering him,
They wouldn't allow anyone near his body,
Two dogs I've never seen there before guarded his remains,

The coroner stops me before I got too close,
I said: "I'm his wife, I got the call"
They showed me pictures of his post mortem,
Bruised like an apple tattoos disappear into the blue,

I took a look at three and said "Yea, that's my husband"
Everyone calls him Irish but his name was Craig Allen Whisler a tattoo artist from Toledo, Ohio