He said I found someone,
I really like her,
She wears glasses,
Reminds me of you,
She's on the bigger side,
She's independent too,
But she supports LGBTQ,
I said: Haaa that's gay!
"don't **** it up now" ,
She sounds like a softer version of me wow,
He says: "she's tomboyish but she's kinda lazy she talks too much, she might get clingy" ...
I said: "that's too bad, maybe that's not water weight"
But honey there's only one of me,
You said you didn't like me *** I'm too ******* mean,
Now you got a girl that's " kinda like me"
You make comparisons but I'm a limited edition and deep down you know she's just the temu version of me

I'm one of a kind,
Nobody's girl,
Highly addictive,
Short in supply,
Some try to claim me,
Some try to see me,
But I'm like a shooting star that flies by once in lifetime,
I'm easy to love,
But hard to swallow,
Boys try to catch me but I'm like catching lighting in a bottle,
I runaway from love at full throttle,
Drown my sorrows at the end of a bottle,
I'm like a butterfly that can't fly when it loses powder in its wings,
I won't land on your flowers and get caught in a dead end dream,
Silly boy's  pollen is just poison to me,
You can catch me like a firefly if   I can keep your love by my bedside in my battered heart shaped box

It's eerie..
Every time I see that 14th st sign,
It's hopeless..
Sitting on this Blvd of broken dreams today,
It's hollow..
This place that ****** the soul out of my chest without any warning,
It's dreary..
Seeing the ghost of us every morning at the slab when you're no longer there,
It's frightening..
How your permanent silence left messages on that green electrical box long after your body decayed,
It's carvings..
On a nearby tree that leaves the only sign of our existence that day,
It's heavy..
To know that even if your body died that day my soul still stayed to accompany you in death,
It's pain..
All that I can taste when I drive down that street to this very day

My mind's heavy with the words I don't say,
My hands are ***** with the work I put in,

My soul is drenched with the blood that I sprayed,
My body's covered in the scars of the pain,

I fought to gain more than I could get,
But my life's been a gamble for the bet that I've placed,

It ain't ok to think about the things I don't say,
But if I say them..
I'll be in four point restraints,

It's heavy..
But I have a mean poker face,
I don't show it..
I grimace through my dismay,

I told you,
My mind's heavy and you can't live in this space,
I'm a head case therapy and pills don't work for this damaged case

I was skipping on that fine line of life and death,
I was running through the trenches and drug habits,

Not for a second did I fear it,
In fact, I loved every moment of it,
The fast life gave me a taste for the hell I've made,

I made my bed,
Now I gotta lay in it,
It's about time I got up and set it a flame,
I'm here to stay,
No overdosing today,

But I'm living in the margins with no one to blame,

Yea, I told him:
"You either bring it to me or I'll go find it"
Like danger was the only thing that I craved,

And I normalized the needle to vain,
The monkey on my back grew into an ape,
And I couldn't get enough so I ate and ate,
Til my stomach was sick and my life's a mess,

Hey, this wasn't the future I saw for myself,
And now I'm sitting on the sidelines of could-have-beens,

I could've been smart,
Could've been great,
I could've stayed in school and built my mansion on bricks,

Instead I deviated the plan and it was plagued,
I was blinded by puppy love and the money I made,

It's safe to say pretty soon I needed a place to stay,
Because the home that I built was never a safe place,

It's taken me 9yrs to repair the damage I made,
And I'm still on the margins of my duality where there is no escape

I kissed the sun,
I raised the dead,
I took another shot to the head,
he asked me "baby you need another one? You good?"
And I said "I'm ok",
I took that shot of matchstick ******, leaned back on momma's bed,
turned blue I flatlined then,
I kissed the sun,
I joined the dead,
The baby's screaming like an alarm clock and she crawls to me,
Im drenched,
I wake,
He says "sorry baby your face is gonna hurt tomorrow"
He says "you stopped breathing and you were blue we threw you in the tub there's no response",
"We slapped the **** out of you" ,
I licked the sun,
Flirted with death,
I tasted for once all the damage I had done,
Momma came home she never knew just hours ago her baby laid dead in her bed,
This was the 3rd time that I blotted out the sun,
And it's the last time I'll take my soul back

He's gone,
But I'm still here,
He's held me captive for so many years now,
I've stopped having those dreams where I've moved on but always returned to my torturous old home,
Where he won't allow me another lover,
Where I am no longer comfortable in,
Where it no longer brings warmth or joy,
Just a vision of my ruins pain and despair,
I have a chastity hugging my throat,
From it hangs a rose crystal meant for healing,
But in return only holds me as it's only prisoner