ScaR SavagE

ScaR SavagE Jan 2019

I wouldn't be so lost...
If you would have just stayed with me..
I lost my place,
I lost my head,
I'm running in circles with no end,
I keep you to my left,
Left is closest to the heart,
I loved you more than I could ever love myself,
I wasted time..
I wasted my peace of mind,
on YOU,
****, I wasted a lifetime when I erased your mistakes,
Your not my lover not even my friend,
Your now just a stranger that got lost in my head.

ScaR SavagE Dec 2018

AGAINST THE WORLD

whatever happened to You and me against the world?
and when did you become the world against me?
when did declarations of Love become declarations of war and woe?
when did you stop being my lover and become my foe?
when did my best friend become my biggest threat?
when did hugs and kisses become a trade for sticks and Stones?
when did you begin breaking the bones you swore you'd mend?
when did longing loving stares become dagger threatening glares?
when did you decide to trade love in a for war?
hugs to scorns,
when did we stop fighting for eachother?
and start fighting one another?
when did you become the world against myself?

ScaR SavagE Dec 2018

By The Day

Not a day goes by I don't whisper your name,
Speak to the winds,
Search in the sky for he brightest light,
At night the cool crisp air embraces me,
It's when I feel you the most,
No, you never speak,
Or answer my questions...
I take these dimes I find laying about as a token of your presence,
Trade my sorrows for vague signs of life,
But not a day goes by without missing you,
Without feeling like I'm only a partial of my former self

ScaR SavagE Dec 2018

THE LAST TIME I WAS HAPPY

I know.. it's just a season,
It's just a picture,
It's just another lingering memory,
but it's not.
Just another candid moment caught in a dim lit whirlwind,
I know, it's just a picture...
but it's not what you see that I must stress,
See that day was special,
We admired beautiful sparkles of whites and blues,
We awwed at sculptures made of ice,
We laughed,
We loved,
We're intertwined,
Stood side-by-side..
Then, SNAP
a flash,
The end result, I caught your soul,
Printed on this photograph of US,
The last photo taken of you,
With you, this was the last time that I was happy,
The last photo as a family, and the last time I saw you smile,
I know.... it's just a picture,
Painting 1000 words to choke on, then quickly swallowed,
But it's not just any picture...
This one was the last time we were a FAMILY,
The last time we were "normal,"
The last time schizophrenia allowed you to be a father and a husband,
So you see, this one was special..
THIS WAS THE LAST TIME I WAS HAPPY.

Poem background: Last photo taken of my late husband was when we went to see the frozen ice sculptures. The last time he was normal

ScaR SavagE Dec 2018

"Pen-flow"

Poetry flows thru my pen,
Like blood flows thru my veins,
If I try to just write a piece it fails because it wasn't naturally,
I jot down my best pieces when in a rage or melancholia,
I see words as pictures in my brain,
Playing movie rheels inside my head,
Words of sorrow flow thru my pen like a ship sailing across the deep blue sea,
No one really knows my sorrows,
I'm good at hiding what you cannot SEE.

ScaR SavagE Dec 2018

TOILET PAPER

Your just like toilet paper...
See thru like a colorform,
Your just like toilet paper...
Use once and then destroy,
Your just like toilet paper...
Weak-willed tears up when in rain,
Your just like toilet paper...
Drop you in a porcelain thrown just rid of you like a bad habit,
Your just like Toilet Paper...
Wipe my *** with your face when I'm done giving a ****,
Your just like toilet paper...
You are only a DISPOSABLE poor excuse of a human being!

ScaR SavagE Dec 2018

ONE LAST TIME

I know it was your time
But couldn't we just have another night?
Before you laid down to leave it all behind,
Just one more warm embrace,
Just one last look at your handsome face,
I know it was your time....
I could feel it all that you hide,
But couldn't we just had one last meal,
One last kiss,
One last sweet memory before you left us here behind.