Hey..
If your reading this know that you were chosen,
You were chosen to find this,
To find me,
If your reading this know that you are because I am no longer here,
I am now but a particle in the air,
I'm cut off like the human hair,
I am now blue like the sea,
I was hurt....
But you never see.... Until it was too late,
And my pain consumed me that I began to hate,
To hate every breathing waking day,
Stuck in a vessel where my soul now fades,
And the rising sun stings like sharpened blades,
If your reading this..
I'm sorry..
Sorry I couldn't be stronger,
Sorry I couldn't take it much longer,
If your reading this know you were 1 of the few people that touched my heart,
Maybe one of the people that broke it apart,
If your reading this....
Maybe you were my disappointment,
Maybe.. you drove me to finally disown MYSELF,
If your reading this... I onced Loved YOU- GOODBYE

I am my worst captive
A prisoner of my own kind
Nothing brings me down faster than my own mind
I am my worst enemy
Love then hate myself you see...  
I don't care to be me
But being me will never set me free
I am stubborn in my own beliefs
I bend my knees for no one and in time you'll see...
That the biggest battle and wars that I fight are all amongst MYSELF,
THATS RIGHT.

Sweet 16 was when I found myself roomed in Cerritos psych ward,
2 other girls roomed with me,
One kinda like me,
I still have a piece of her converse sneaker logo as a suvenir of my teenage years,
The other girl was a beautiful girl,
Who cried everyday,
And slattered makeup before going to bed,
A beautiful girl with a stain in her smile,
And a **** to her ego,
I sat in this room and saw many come and go,
I'm still stuck here....
With a suicidal mind a flow,
Self esteem sunk low,
Taste for life gone bland,
Took this hand full of pills,
Hope to sleep at last... FOREVER.
Didn't happen,
I'm getting stuck with needles on a daily,
Monitored my food intake on a daily,
Anorexia nervosa won't let me,
But the girl at Cerritos psych,
She still my roomie and others are gone....
Then back,
Then gone again,
The pretty girl at Cerritos psych,
With big eyes, full lips and gorgeous brunette hair,
She's still stuck in Cerritos psych,
*** daddy told her that she's ugly and she's worthless only has a use for one thing,
And to this day I wonder if she ever saw her reflection??
Has she finally seen beauty within?
Or is she still stuck in Cerritos psych ward

He loves me...
I can tell by the way he smiles at me,
He loves me...
I can tell by the way he looks at me,
He scars me...
With a single word he shoots me down,
He drowns me,
With words of sweet nothingness .
But I know.
Yes I know... He'll never leave,
*** I know he loves to torture me the most,
He Loves me...
I can tell by the way my face has swelled,
But he loves me.
I can tell by the shades of purples and green,
He calls me....
Only to soothe his own shame & guilt.
And drowns me...
In a sea of liquor so he can have his way with me.
But I.....
I stay.
*** I know nothing more....
Than this life of misuse and abuse.
But he loves me!
I can tell by his apologies,
But he loves me....
I can tell by the dozen roses he sent to me.
Oh he chokes me.....
With the same hands that once comfort me,
And he burns me,
Faster than a house on fire.
But he loves me.......
He can be violent, harsh, and sweet,
And I spend my days walking on a wire,
But he loves ME!!
I can tell by the way he says: "IM SORRY."

"SANITY OF THE INSANE"
By: Let et ScaR

The dark spots on the floor are moving closer to me,
I don't know if its real, or if its dream.

The faint sounds that are afar seem up close, but no one hears their static noise but me....
I then start to question my own sanity,
And fail to recall, insanity is just a pattern.

We all wake to do the same mundane thing everyday,
Insanity is just doin the same thing over and over again.
Am I the only one to see these things?
And through a side glance I see shadows running free.
But when I turn to look they dissipate,
Should I question Insanity???

"IN A WEEK"
By: Let et ScaR

YEA, THEY LEFT ME
LEFT ME HERE.
THEY LEFT ME,
SOMEWHERE IN THE DRIED UP GRASS….

YEA, THEY LEFT ME.
LEFT ME HERE.
HIGH & DRY BUT IT WONT LAST….
THEY'LL FIND ME DRIED IN THE SANDS OF TIME....

YEA,  THEY LEFT ME.
FORGOTTEN ALL I'VE DONE.
BUT THEY WONT SEE MY FRUITFUL WAYS,
UNTIL I'M LONG DEAD & GONE...

YEA, THEY FOUND ME.
SOMEWHERE IN AN EMPTY FIELD,
INCASED IN A FROZEN PARALLEL OF TIME.

YEA, THEY LEFT ME.
WHEN I WAS HIGH & DRY ......
& MY TEAR DUCTS WERE TO DRY TO MUSTER A CRY.

YEA, THEY LEFT ME.
THEY LEFT ME HERE TO DIE.
WHEN THEY'VE TAKEN ALL I'VE HAD,
TO TURN THEIR BACKS WHEN I CAME BACK HUNGRY FOR AN ACT OF KINDNESS.

BUT NOW THEY'LL SEE.....
IN A ABOUT A WEEK.
WHEN THEY FIND ME...
& THE INSECTS HAVE ALREADY FED ON ME.

YA.....
THEY'LL SEE.  WHEN THEIR FRUITS AREN'T SWEET.
WHY THEY DON'T ENJOY....
CAUSE THEY ALL FED ON ME.
AND I ABSORBED ALL THEIR BITTERNESS, IN RETURN FOR FRUITFUL SEEDS.

BUT NOW THEY TOO....
WILL DECAY LIKE ME.
BECAUSE THERE'S NO ONE THERE TO SWALLOW THEIR PAIN.

AND THEY'LL REMEMBER....
THE DAY THEY WALKED AWAY...
AND LEFT ME HERE.
WHEN I WAS HIGH & DRY, TO DIE ALONE & RETURN ONCE MORE....
INTO THE GROUND
INTO THE DIRT THAT I ONCE CAME FROM
ONCE UPON A TIME.

I miss you.....
with a passion,
With a fire that has no extinguishing,
I miss you like a baby misses her blanket,
And the moon misses the eclipse of the sun.
I miss you.
Like a child misses her daddy,
And the ocean misses the tides,
I miss you.
Like night misses day and day misses night.
I need you like a diabetic needs insulin,
And the crazed need their meds.
I'm hungry....
For the warmth of your body, and the sweetness of your caress.
I'm craving.....
Like a dopefien in fasting and the vein to the needle.
But I.....
I miss you.
Like a soldier missing an arm and a leg