Her soul was a soul on fire
A burning campsite of desire
Her mind was a rubics cube of sorrows never told
The anchor that she carries will never really unfold
Because her soul was on fire,
Burned everyone who came too close
Her heart is wrapped in iron to protect her fractured ego
The sutures all broke off and the Evil just seeped through
Everyone likes to put in their two-sense
But their nuisance is ******* too

You were so concerned wether I believed you changed or not,
And when you asked me..
Back then I said "Yes" & trusted your crooked *** anyway,
I guess I wanted so bad to believe that you were actually legit and just for me,

But **** I fell for the *****- trap yet again,
How the f**k after I all that I've been thru believe in love again?
I guess I really wanted to believe that lie again,
Nice to that hope of a Disney fairytail end,

But you were my first,
And you'll be my very LAST mistake I'll EVER make!
*** honestly I can't take the tugs and cuts to my heartstrings again,
How many more times must I piece together uneven pieces of my broken self?
How many more times will I rebuild myself again?

With every break, and bend and stretch of myself more pieces seem to miss,
Pretty soon no glue or stitch will be able to put me back together again,

If you asked me today if I believe you really changed,
My answer would be NO., you just became slicker with your shady ways & that's it,
I once told you were the only person that has treated me decently,
Right now I'll take that back I'm sorry you ARE my biggest regret,

Your the camel the broke the camel's back,
The best **** liar your whole get-down is a hack,

So asked me again What I think of you now,
Well lemme see your a pathological LIAR that spews beautifully crafted lies,
It seems you eat deceit for breakfast I guess you are what you eat,
Like **** your so good at lieying I wonder how you even sleep at night,

Your so blind to your **** ups that even YOU believe your own **** lies!
I guess whatever it takes to catch your Zzzz's at night,
*** you got me so worked up I just wanna put em up and Fight,

You tried to push it all on me,
The usual move every pathological LIAR pulls,

But I've known you for way too long,
And I deligently watch every move, hear every word, see every gesture and store it in the back up storage of my mind,
So your futile games don't play with me,
*** I'm like a predator hiding watching in the brush just waiting silently to pounce at the perfect time so I can take you OUT,

Ask me again what I think of you NOW.

"THE INVISIBLE KILLER"
By: Scar Savage

DEPRESSION.
Is the invisible killer,
The unseen disease that people just brush off and say:
"It's all in your head"
But... That's just it.
It IS IN MY HEAD.
And that's EXACTLY why I can NEVER seem to run from it..
Although I don't SEE it, it ALWAYS seeks me,
And when I tell somebody they just tell me I'll be ok, and it'll pass,

Well it's been 30 years ***** when is THAT suppose to happen??!
People think it's not real because they don't SEE.
But, you don't SEE THE WIND...
BUT YOU STILL FEEL IT!!
And I feel this EVERY ******* DAY!
And it's killing me, it's eating at my soul til I decay!

But that's ok. *** your ok right?
It's all in my head and you feel none of it,
Oh and BTW I "choose" to be this way,
Tell Me, WHO THE **** CHOOSES TO FEEL LIKE **** Everyday!!!

It's as involuntary as blinking and breathing!!
But it don't exist *** it don't show up on a blood test or upon my skin,
Until the day I actually turn Grey from death,
Because I got tired of "choosing" to BE THIS WAY!!

HELLO MY NAME IS DEPRESSION.
YOUR GOING TO DIE THIS WAY!

"Quick Fix"
I didn't want you to Fix me...
I wanted you to love me,
Want me,
Feed my soul so I can finally BREATH,
Because everyday I hold my breath suffocating on a far-fetched dream...

That someone will miss me someday,
See me for who I am,
Not what I have been or where I've been,

I didn't want a quick fix..
I wanted the real thing,
I wanted someone to kiss my scars,
Break these bars,
That hold me prisoner in my on mind,

I wanted to be just for you,
And you for me,
I didn't want this hit & miss,
Or temporary bliss,

I just wanted you to love me.
Love me with my flaws,
Love me with the passion I loved YOU with.

An uncontrollable rush,
I try to hold back,
But I can't so I just hide it with shades,

When I sit alone in silence,
I cry
When I'm speeding like a demon on a highway,
I cry
When I listen to touching lyrics that Pierce right thru my heart,
I cry
And when my daughter asks me if I'm alright I put a straight face, but inside...
I cry
When I think back to yester-last year when you used to make me laugh,
I cry
And when I sleep at night the coolness of the night holds me,
I cry
When I see all your reminders I curse you,
and I cry
When I see photos of you my soul burns,
And I cry
Thinking of all the time invested and all the feelings you played with,
I cry
And everyday passes me by but I just die inside.

They say there's no place like home,
Tis True,

There is no way to describe what the displacement of Homelessness has done to me,
To my husband, to my kid,

It has taken his life,
One drink at a time,
It has stripped our daughter of security,
And has eaten away at my confidence,

The anguish is dense,
Between packing & couch hopping,
I've realized I own NOTHING.

EVERYTHING is DISPOSABLE,
I'm posable,
At the mercy of hands that feed,

Do you KNOW the toll it takes from me?

To go from being independent, proud of all I've worked so hard to own,
To hiding hunger pains so she can eat,
Never sleep, watch my surroundings incase we gotta up and leave,

From having a place of my own,
To call home....
To bird baths in gas stations, and sleeping in the cool air under the stars,

The buzz of traffic and drug addicts all of a SUDDEN become a lullaby,
Your home is kosher,
But out here it's a warzone filled with gangs and crooks,

You think you know the dark AND lived hard,
But can you keep a Stone face when your children question Why are we going thru this?

People pass by,
Glare with their eyes,
Make superficial judgements,
But I was once a nurse and legal aid a stable staple in society,

You turn your nose up, talk **** and snicker,
But let me ask you who's the bigger winner?
It's ME.
*** what you lack in conscienceness I make up with a heart that don't stop,

Its cracked and bloated,
It's bled and skipped beats,
But it's STILL worth more than the bucks you proudly came  with,

My hardships and trials built this great Wall of iron,
I'll burn like wildfire if you ever think that you can hold my head down,

But there's nothing like home,
I'm BROKE it don't show,
And no one will ever know,
Don't judge a book by its cover,
Read the last page and think you know the struggle,

Take a step back view the entire picture,
Crack the spine and begin to read thru,
What you don't know it way surprise you,
You were going thru cubic zirconia's,
**** you might find a DIAMOND.

Hey I know that you're all grown up, your not a little girl anymore & don't need me for shelter,

But I know that you hurt,
And deep within there's still a little girl coveting inside,
The armor that now is YOU as a woman,

And I just wanna reach out to her,
Show you that you are still HER,
That little girl that onced dreamed of things bigger than she,

I know you feel hopeless,
Life's disappointments left you loveless,
But I know your not completely hollow,
Because you have a little girl now,
And you had to harvest love to have her,

I'm just here to remind you,
That you onced laughed & you smiled,
And your glow could light up a darkened road for miles and miles,

I hope your listening,
Even if tears roll & glisten,
Because someone needs to remind you,
That you're not cold or made of Iron.

Your just a little lost in the current,
And you need someone to guide you,
But first and foremost I'd like to apologize to you,
For not becoming what you always dreamed of being,
When you were a little girl so excited to be part of this world,

So here goes:
This is a letter to my younger self,
The little girl that wanted to grow up so bad,
But it happened way too fast,

I know everything has seemed like a war and a struggle,
And I'm sorry I've let you down,
See I was so in a hurry to grow up and be free to be me.

That I didn't think things thoroughly,
And now the younger me is suffering,
The part of me that still dreams,
Believes in love solid as gold,
This little girl she was bold,
Despite a broken home and divorce,
She STILL dreamed BIG,
Big about ME.

But I let you down in my own greed,
Too in a hurry to flee,
From home so I could experience being a teen,
Because your childhood was stolen,
And you just wanted to be normal like everyone you knew,

I'm sorry that back then I didn't give much of a ****,
To keep my head on straight,
And secure the life that you are owed,

I'm sorry I was so in a rush to experience life,
Because as you already know it,
I never got to be a care-free child,
I'm sorry you always felt alienated & broken,

And all the hands that had touched you,
Warped in your young mind what the idea of love is,
I'm sorry I poisoned your body,
Trying to **** the pain you have felt your whole life,

I know deep inside you're STILL in there.....
Still trying to believe..
That somehow you can still be happy,
And in time maybe trust AGAIN,

I know you're all grown up now,
And you are a force to reckon with,
I know you may not need my Comfort or embrace,

All I know is that you are lost,
Deep inside My head,
Because all of life's circumstances rendered you to give in,

But even as a little girl you were tougher than nails,
And the strength in your mind is bigger than your own body,
So keep pushing and pulling til the dam breaks and your floods consume all those who hate.

I'm so sorry I didn't work harder to be the person that you thought you'd grow up to be,
But I'm you from the future telling myself from childhood....

Hey you can't give up,
You still have more miles,
And two eyes that look up at you to admire.