Let et Scar

Let et Scar Sep 2018

"GOODMOURNING"

There's so many things weighing so heavy,
In my chest full of regrets,
Full of sadness and the darkeness,
And things I never said,

Like how much I really loved you,
And how it hurt to walk away,
When you became a danger,
To your wife and your kid,

The survivor's guilt it's so heavy,
Weighing down like an iron anchor,
With a heart full of anger, pain and emptiness,

All the things I never said,
What our baby said to you on your last day,
It rings echoing in my head,
It's like salt rubbed in a wound after your pour lemon onto it,

It just stings and burns,
You can't shake it,
It don't go away,
They say time heals all wounds....
But I haven't witnessed this yet,

It's been 3 yrs. Now,
You say time can heal but how?
*** my soul is oh so weary,
And my heart quickly defeated,

All the things I never said,
Dues I should have paid,
Tell you how much we loved you,
Thank you for the times you made us smile,
Thank you for the time we shared,
And even though we had our problems,
You were always a great father,

But I'm permanently stuck in mourning,
And words that I wish I could have said and never did,
There was so much left say...
But I never got the chance,
And I just wanna say:
GOOD BYE would have been nice

Let et Scar Sep 2018

"In The Fields"

Behind the tall blades of grass,
He finds a place to lie,
Above the cold damp earth, beneath the open sky,
He trots thru open fields seeking a safe place to hide,
He lies beneath the moonlight, the heavens, and the stars,
Amongst the broken glass and gravel he kneels and cries out to God: " What the hell am I doing here?"
These are the makings of a madman's dream,
He marches thru the open fields so tired and alone,
Without a place to call his own,
But no one will ever know.
Hallucinations running rampant in his mind,
And wonders why God has forsaken him? When once he was so kind.
Within his view and out of reach all he had desired,but could never acquire.
"My God, my God why did you take my home, my pride and all I've ever known?"
But everything is borrowed and nothing is his own,
Behind the tall dry blades of grass...
He hides seeking his only refuge,
Covered in the **** and dirt that others left behind,
He tries to drown his deep depression 16oz. @ a time,
And running thru the killing fields he left his soul behind.

This poem describes a field my husband and I camped @when homeless.

— The End —