I don't want that fake kinda love
Love you only under the sheets
love you only in the dark

I want that real kinda love
Old fashioned like a sundae with a cherry on top
Love you in the daylight
Fix it when it breaks apart

I don't want that cyber kinda love
Artificially generated
Love you only in private
Don't even know you in public

I don't want that fake kinda love
I want the real kinda love
The kind that makes you wanna show off

I don't want this Gen Z kinda funk
Act like you want me
then act like a punk

I want that real kinda love
Old fashioned ******* the rocks

I don't want this hide how you feel because you trying to be hard
I want that classic vintage
Coca-Cola with ******* type of love

I got the call from a dear dear friend,
He got the call from his daughter Jessi,
He said "I think they found him you gotta come down to 14th st"
"He has no ID come identify him"

I had already been searching for him for about a week,
Missing persons with no name to him,
I dropped off the baby at school and took myself to 14th Street,

Cold blue sheet covering him,
They wouldn't allow anyone near his body,
Two dogs I've never seen there before guarded his remains,

The coroner stops me before I got too close,
I said: "I'm his wife, I got the call"
They showed me pictures of his post mortem,
Bruised like an apple tattoos disappear into the blue,

I took a look at three and said "Yea, that's my husband"
Everyone calls him Irish but his name was Craig Allen Whisler a tattoo artist from Toledo, Ohio

I know how short the time is
I know that it's not infinite
I basked in the sunshine and took advantage
Not knowing how short life is

One day I'm so deep in love with you
I thought it was forever
Next day I get a phone call
The coroner needs to identify your cadaver

I know how short the time is
I know that it's not infinite
One day I thought you were my lover
The next day I almost got ***** by our mutual friend

Still I'm kinda stubborn
I don't wanna believe hope does not exist
I don't wanna be cold like my mother
I want to feel loved again

I know how short the time is
I know that it's not infinite
But for now I'd like to pretend
That I like you and you like me
so we can share warmth with our flesh
Before the pain is fresh

I've spent so long in hibernation
My heart has reached freezing temperatures
I know we don't get much time together
I'd like to savor these moments

I'd like to pretend I'm Robin Hood stealing time with you

I write poems of woe,
Poems of hurt ,
Poems of feelings no one speaks of,

Don't ask me to smile,
Don't tell me I'm too pretty to be mean,
You don't know me,

Don't tell me to be sweet,
I'm bitter like coffee,
Need milk and honey to lighten your pallet,

I write about pain,
I write about those dark feelings you can't confess to your therapist,

I'll never be sweet,
I bite, I have teeth,
Don't touch me,
Don't talk to me like you know where I've been

Don't treat me like a delicate flower,
I'm deadly like nightshade,
I'm a spikey choke collar,
Don't handle me like I'm fragile,
Please don't be sweet

Sometimes I think I like you
Sometimes I **** just despite you
Sometimes I like the fantasy
That one day I might want you

Most times Im just alone
Most times I'm just ******* bored
I get annoyed when you call
I told you don't blow up my phone!

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be cold
**** it, I told you feelings I don't hold
I told you I'll call when I want
I don't like the feeling of being owned

Sometimes I think I could stand you
Most times I drink just to get through
How ******* cringe you really are
And you mean nothing to me

Sometimes I hate myself for being this way
This was never who I really been
Sometimes I just fake that I care
So I don't feel bad about myself

Most times I'm filling the void
I picked you to fill in the time
Sometimes I tell myself I'm not this ****** up
But baby you're just here to stain the sheets

The girl you used to know
I used to be is
GONE

There are only partial fragments
Like bones scattered by the
WILD

You will never be able
To find all her pieces
To put her back
TOGETHER

She lost all that made her
LOVELY
When she selfishly loved whole heartedly

The girl that stands before you
Is now a harsher imitation of her former self

The kind of love she gave was SELFLESS
Neverending
deep and sacred like the depths of the sea

But you all took advantage
Picked a flower
Instead of letting her GROW

And now she's just a
CONTRAST
Not even a color
Just like black or white
A SHADE

I bought nirvana in a tiny red balloon
I tasted euphoria at the tip of a needle
I saw my dreams burn at the bottom of a silver spoon
I threw the cotton in to absorb all my demons

I drew blood for the first time at the age of 18
I mixed innocence with the devil that day
He took me by the hand and said:
"Let's go for a ride"

10yrs later my soul had died
It's been 20yrs now since I had my first taste
And today I can say I've split even

Another 10yrs I've spent redeeming myself
For the decade I pawned to the devil and now I can buy my soul back