Memories, that is all I have left,
Candid memories ever fleeting day by day,
I tried to preserve them,
Keep them sweet like marmalade,
I try to keep them,
I don't want them to fade,
But with time the corners curl up like a photograph,
And with time nothing is tangible only digital,
It's hard to hold on to things you can't feel in your hands,
It's hard to see them,
When it's not everyday,
Memories, that is all I have left,
I try to keep them..
Fresh like that pine tree freshener that swings from my car mirror,
I try to hold onto the ring of your laughter,
I try to remember the tenderness in your eyes when you gazed upon mine,
Now just a memory fading with time,
They are just memories sweeping in and out with the tides,
I try to keep pictures the only snapshots left of our former lives,
I try to look at them and imagine them come to life,
But these memories with time are fading like the colors in my hair,
All these memories bittersweet like the tattoos I bare,
They are beautiful but they sting with the air,
All these memories I keep them trapped locked in a box

In the world of play pretend,
I pretend that I am dead,
In the world of make believe,
I believe maybe there is relief,

I found it at the bottom of a bottle,
I found it at the tip of a needle,
I found it burning at the bottom of a glass bowl,

In the world of play pretend,
I don't have to raise my fist,
In the world of make believe,
I believe I am at peace,
I never have to fight another human being for what is mine,
I never have to make deals with my demons for my soul back,

In the world of play pretend,
I pretend red balloons and bent up spoons don't bother me,
In the world of make believe,
I believe that clicking torches and plastic baggies don't trigger me,

In the world of play pretend,
I pretend I'm not this rageful girl that will set the world on fire,
In the land of make believe,
I make believe my soul can be as pretty as my face is,

In the world of play pretend,
I pretend I'm not always the bad guy,
In the land of make believe I try to make believe I can reverse all of my mistakes

One day you'll adore them
Instead of only admiring from a distance,
Someday I'll grow in love
Instead of falling in and out of it,

One day you will be seen
But also heard,
Someday I want to make love
Instead of having casual ***,

One day you will find someone who wants you back,
Someday, maybe I'll want you too,

One day you'll give them all of your being,
Someday I'll get to keep all the love I ALWAYS give

Let me drink from the rivers of your lips,
Let me fall into the iris of those dark eyes,

You can ride on the curves of my spine,
You can dive into the madness that is my love,

Let you lick the sweetness off my lips,
Grasp onto the dips of my hips,
I'll caress my fingers thru the mass of your hair,
Lay my head upon your rising chest,

We can get lost in the warmth of our skins,
Fuel the fire with the ardor like it was sin,
Kiss the sweat upon your brow,
Smile like I've never frowned,

I just want it to be dark n' sweet,
Like the whiskey that I drink,
I'll allow a savory taste of my quivering honey thighs,
I'll hold my breath until it's time to sigh

I get it
You don't want to speak to me no more
I get it I'm not cool to you at all
I get it
A prettier girl caught your eye
I get it
She's wine while I am rye

I get it
I look soft but I'm abrasive
I get it
She's soft the way she looks
I get it
You were hoping you could mold me
I get it
You loved my body but not my actual soul

I get it
You don't have to hide from me anymore
I get it
I'll leave without counting all the sores
I get it
You thought my sweet face was my core
I get it
You didn't think I really was *******

I get it
This is a one sided conversation
I get it
You only talk while you can get it
I get it
I'm too smart for you to stay in tune
I get it
I won't bother with you anymore

I still cry sometimes..
When no one's looking
I still hurt sometimes...
But no one knows it

I'm sober now
My head ain't stuck in a smoke cloud
I'm smart now
But I still feel like I'm dumb

I know now
Right from wrong
But I been dead for so long that I'm still numb

What stings the most
Are talks with my mother over coffee
She reminds me
Of all the things I used to do

She tells me
Prima, you're really good with your hands...
Remember when you used to paint and fix things?

I stay silent because I know
I know I used to be so much more
I've finally grown up enough to come out my shell
And explain to her all the drugs I did killed my inner self

She tells me
Prima, you used to sing so good...
Maybe you should go back to that it was therapy to you,
I tell her I don't do that anymore..
I don't have time
But I know I lie

I'm sober now
And I feel myself coming back to life
Yet there is still a part of me that dies
I don't feel things like I used to do before

Before the drugs
Before twisted love
Before this thing they call growing up

What stings to me the most
Is the things my mother knows
The things that I forgot that I can do
That most girls dont

She says to me
Prima, didn't you used to dance with a hula hoop?
I said.. I stopped doing that because I got so skinny from the withdrawals that it hurts

My mother she reminds me of all the things I forgot that I could do
Like outsmart the cops, fix my car, and create things with these broken hands I own