If pain
is relative,
then I am drowning
in the same rain
that blooms you.

If suffering
is temporary,
then my clock has
stalled out
from ticking.

If understanding
is mutual,
then my own efforts
have so far outrun
your own
that
relatively,
temporarily
speaking. . .

I stand alone.

To death do us part
I will love you with all of my heart
any issue will be resolved with a kiss
and when you’re away you will be missed
Good bye I say with a kiss on your cheek
and a loving smile, I feel like a geek
I sit at home, awaiting your arrival
but temptations lurk and I cling for survival
My phone rings early in the morning
and the doctors tell you’re now an angel soaring
I cloak myself in black tears falling from my chin
and I walk up to your casket dark
and grim
I feel your small hands to innocent to be dead
sorry says people you were just newly weds
to death do us part
I loved you with all of my heart
and with one final heavy sigh
I tell you your last goodbye

I’m realizing there’s more and more I do not know.
Like how tall each mountain stands or which way rivers flow.
I think that maybe I’m clueless perhaps
clueless about the love that we have.

I bet someone’s fallen,
       you just never knew.

Because it’s me,
       I’ve fallen for you.

I can no longer let your sins
Drag me down
I am so tired of trying to learn
how to breathe at the bottom of your secretes
Truth has never been our family currency
But I can no longer pay in blood
I will try truth and see how it feels on my tongue
(your actions have consequences and you never cared who paid them)
It took me my entire childhood to understand this lesson
(I convinced myself I could love you enough that you would start to love yourself)
I was wrong
(every time that you had to choose between yourself and me
I always lost)
Trying to understand that you would always choose yourself over me was a very hard thing to swallow.
(you will tell yourself in the darkness of the night that you both did the best you could)
I am a church of scars and I have one for every time you let me drown alone.
- you will not love me when I tell you the truth