Funny how some people
steppin on my laces
skippin spaces
underrated conversations
weak excuses
scribbles on the walls these days
left behind from ghost trippin
on the brownies
left out from the party
down the block
sorry
didn't mean to over do it
too much THC over used it
seeing doubles and triples
riples in the vortex loopin
my colors echo in the hallways
cant help but think bout
next time i get paid
get laid by a girl from third floor
story
with green hair and a name like
Corey
Sorry that my issues
seem so boring
tv screen blasting
and they're snoring

Feels like my life is draining away like water
sooner or later
the years fading away
farther
A spitting image?
Of mommy and daddys baby
wasting away greatly
the older, the more she crumbles
Her story nothing but a mumble
a flickr of light crosses the table
nothing like her love
had seemed so stable
a story
made for her
a fairy tale built to perfection
confection sugar coated sonets
seem to tangle
on her lips, a kiss like this
more dangerous than bliss
i wish a girl like her wasnt as complicated as this life wasting away
faded words on a page
as the years pass by and the tears do dry
Will she remember?
the aches the pains
the memory of fame

First you told the truth
told me straight girls just werent for you
so
I took his hand
gave him a sweet kiss
and we rolled in the sand
Said life never felt this great and the happiness began
daydreams  of us kissing
wedding bands and life plans of us out of the country
My mind on men
couldn't wait to escape but
there was a fault in our fate
a girl who wanted a taste of your luck
Mom thought she was great
and you start to eliminate your love for your man
said god hates gays
cant look at you with starry eyes anyways
people start to notice
A flick of an eye and tap on the shoulder
"Dont do that infront of my children"
they'll be confused as time rolls over
So i believed it
didnt know life would be this different
didn't know id forget that i was into different love interests

So then you started to lie
second time comes round
cherry boy you kissed just had to fly
out of town
said his parents abusive
doesnt raise no boys whos heart flutters for other men, excuses

It hurt
more then just a little
empty beer bottles start to pile the table
cell disabled
lies and cheating start to enable
the dishonesty he had for his lover
man made love for another
no amount of liquor could make them lie next to eachother

She heard it
him whispering soft words
of a males name
the screenshots of emails he sent
were not tame
"I love you" Spilled over the page
and she knew this wasnt a game
So she left that very next day

I wanna talk about experiences ive had
but im too young to understand
too young to have a plan
far too small to tell you stories
the aches, the pains, the glories
Ive had people make me crumble to my knees
release the pain and overdose
i was nothing there to see
Ive had someone tell me
Its all in my head
triple threat
brain dead
Sometimes i just wanna sleep
nothing to eat
nothing to be
unconscious in ya bed
Opposite of a day dream
Now I have someone who makes my knees weak
A shiver and tease
lips on mine
i was left starving
for you on me
The laughs, small talks and stories
I wanted nothing more
than our love to burst
like sunny mornings
Sometimes i just wanna fall asleep
with you right next to me
nothing drab or mean
nothing but the sound of us
breathing

Theres just some
who know you're in pain
and will spend
forever
waiting for you

And I'd invite him in
no matter how long we've gone
apart
His warmth spreads over me
smoother than any
sweet bubbly poison
And when he kisses me
its slow
taking time to trace me
inch by inch

And as much as i hurt
as much as it kills me
to remember
those who have hurt me
I cant help
but want him to take more
of me
To kiss every piece of me
hold me
and look at me lovingly
with his mocha eyes

Im just a little
too high tonight
to write
Wish my mind would just
settle down or take flight

And thats when i realized
I was losing myself
That part of me
that edulged in sunlight rays
Late night reads and
lazy days
I kissed out of passion
never boredom
and prefer heartbreak
over loneliness
Life had a meaning
written in leather binded
journals and sparkly red ink
It was soft to the touch
and smelled of lemony
citrus
It did not make a sound
Yet it had a voice so beautiful
it made your mind
crash like tidal waves
against your skull
My mind now is nothing
but decay
what it once was seemed
to never exist
not a sign left behind
no emptiness
as if it had never been filled
The nothingness now something
and it was numbing to feel
That want to feel
literally anything
was now a desire to feel nothing
like an empty tv screen
buzzing alone 4:35 at night