I lay on your chest and caress your soft skin
Kept pressed against my head.
I smell the scent of your sweet sweat and
Feel the chill of your warm breath on the back of my neck.
I let myself relax and don't ask what's on your mind
Cause I know what's on mine is so, completely different.
So instead of a question I could answer myself
My fingertips lightly trickle across each rib to your hips
While my lips skim your collarbone with a kiss
And then form the silent words
"I love you."
I don't even whisper cause I know you're listening to each breath,
And I bet if I would've said it, you would've left again.
Like when we made love a half hour ago,
You had me panting and pinned to the floor
While we just layed there- connected.
I could feel your heart beat against mine
And the beautiful pulse sent ripples of euphoria throughout
My entire body.
I wanted to tell you then, too, but didn't wanna lose the moment.
I had to blink back hot, stinging tears from flooding my soft, confused eyes because I know
I will lose you. Again.
It's just a matter of time now.
I hold you closer to me, and wanna plead, wanna beg
Please don't leave me! Don't break me again!
Just take me! And keep me until
My heart falls apart in your hands!
Then put the pieces back together, kiss them better, and keep them forever.
I wake up beside you and purr Goodmorning while my mouth
Teases your ear with teeth and tongue.
I call you my baby, like a 9 month old habit
That catches on quick after 3 months of cold turkey.
But it still comes natural to me,
And it seems so easy
To just tell you.
And I wish I could say everything...
But things are different now.

Feeling paranoid, anxious, like I'm always waiting for life to happen;
What's next? I stress
About situations that haven't even happened yet.
Just to test myself I guess, make sure I've
Got some consciousness left, and some breath
From the lungs I bet, and lost a lifetime to.
It's true I do want something new,
But would never discuss it with you.
I've got nothing to prove,
But I'll provide time to choose what you lose.
Blacks and blues of a bruise...
New subject.
The effect is affecting me slowly
But I go steady.
Still unstable but I stammer to be able.
Gracefully gifted at livin' with a death wish.
Crystallized existence just to prove it was nothin'.
But somethin's always always screamin'
At the back of my brain, it's insane,
I can't stop it.
Regardless, I've discovered a process
To keep the clarity a constant,
I got this, it's obvious.
Don't wanna stop, so I'm not gonna drop it.
You can call it whatever you want, but,
I won't answer to conformity.

Surprise-
Here's the demise I've devised
To try to dull light from dead eyes,
Shut those soft lids from the living.
Giving too much thought,
Do not* give in to sin or rot
Now *stop-
Just let it drop.
A pause for cause is needed,
Then proceed it with this
Inconspic'ous twistedness.
Viscous, isn't it?
Just digg it.
Big on burdens baring bulk.
Sulking, rhetorical quotes
Wrote the backbone of society.
Religion became diplomacy.
Greedy ****** to lick the
Tainted tongue of politics
Dripping sickness of wicked
Bigoted Congress picked it.
And its in the air, its
Everywhere, this
Distant dooming disease
Of dream.
**The American dream.