Today I feel small—looked down on and disregarded. My thoughts are of little importance. My words have no bearing on the weight of the world. I’m tired of being taken for granted. If only I could get a fraction of what I give. But my efforts go unrecognised, and my soul keeps wishing to be noticed, to be valued; to be understood….!

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for growing up. I’m sorry for not being what you wanted me to be, what you pictured, “A happy girl, in a happy world”. But not everything turned out the way you want it to. I’m sorry for lying so much. I’m sorry for feeling alone so much. I’m sorry for not asking for help when I needed it. I’m truly sorry. I’m sorry for staying up most nights crying. I’m sorry for caring about little things that were probably lies. I’m sorry for being a disappointment. I’m sorry……!

They will
insult you,
hurt you,
defeat you,
betray you,
injure you,
set you aflame
and watch
you burn.
                                             But they
                                             will not,
                                            shall not,
                                              cannot
       ­                                  destroy you.
                                                            ­                                  Because you,
                                                            ­                                       like Rome
                                                            ­                      were built on ashes,
                                                          ­                                            and you,
                                                            ­                                like a phoenix
                                                         ­                                     know how to
                                                              ­                                                 rise
                                                            ­                                                  and
           ­                                                                 ­                         resurrect.

I’m sorry someone loved you badly,
And that they made you feel like
you take up more space than you deserve.

I’m sorry they abandoned you
When you need them the most and
It has made you believe that
Love is an awful thing that hurts……!

1) These hard times, this pain, these lessons - one day they’ll be your strength, your awareness, your blessings.
2) Stop expecting honesty from the people who lie to themselves.
3) You’ll never look good trying to make someone look bad.
4) Save your explanations for those who are determined to understand you - give your silence to those that are determined to misunderstand you.
5) You’re life is too short to be unhappy 5 days a week in exchange for 2 days of freedom.
6) Don’t be upset from people you don’t respect.
7) Life isn’t tiring. Wanting life to be a certain way but not having the confidence to make it that way is tiring.

I’m fine, the biggest lie I’ve ever told. Deep down I didn’t want to lie. I wanted to say I wasn’t and I feel like my life is worthless. I wanted to say I feel like I’m back to my state and that I’m sorry I got back to this dark room. But I can’t be honest this time. No matter how painful it feels to hold it in, it’s better to hold the words hostage in my heart even though my heart is trying to hold it together. Everyone is on cloud 9 around me and I swore to myself I will not bring them down. Everyone probably thinks “oh here we go again!” Or that I’m being distant on purpose. The part they don’t realise is I am distancing in order to protect them from the inner hatred and negativity festering in my soul….!

It just never stops, does it?
When will I stop breaking apart?
When will I be able to stop the tears?
Why does it hurt so much.
Why me
What is this for?
Why do I have to feel like this
I manage to keep it hidden away so well in front of others,
But when I’m alone….
I can’t seem to hide it
I can’t stop myself from feeling like this
**** man, it ******* hurts
When will it ******* end!?!?