It is a facade
When I tell you
' ******* and I dont need you'
Its mask
When I screamed for space
Its still foggy
Why I let go of your fingers
Its misty
Why i forcefully tried to ignore you
Its all naught
Its nothing
Its me
Cz there is you everywhere in everybit of my thoughts, body ,mind
There is you in my mornings and nights
I wake up to you
I see u in all the mirrors
I catch your scent in every rain
Every sunny days remind me of you

Dont listen to my words
Don't care for my knives ,my bullets
Cz maa you're ...

He kept the cartridge
In a shoebox of trainers
With pine corns
with lego
with a broken kaleidoscope
with the tiny jack-in-the-box
with a chipped tooth
with a stained vignette


he wiped the dust off the yearbook
and smiled the first rhyme his son wrote 30 years ago

I can shake the branch bathed in raindrops
See the sun from the north as we used to
You can climb on the rock with the ancient moss
Hiding beneath the maple leaves
Your eyes bloom at the sleepy (coral)sun
Tears make their way from the leaves to my sleeves
i see you

i would draw you
                               with a chapped charcoal ;the cheapest kind
i would paint you
                                with purple hair
                                          violet eyes
                                          green lips
                                          lavender teeth
                                          burgundy skin
                  hands outstretched in a beguiling teal
                  brows lifted in an audacious amber
                  with so much indigo behind you
(and i would smudge it all
until i see an explosion
of shades and hues and tones and lullabies)

shadows were my allies ,
i played with the maybes ,
i laughed at the nothings ,
i scared off the questions ,
i pranced around in the green in the blue in the shady brown
used to
used to ,
once when i thought i saw a dragon in the alley and wished for a ghost