I don't want to sleep

I wake up unmotivated
It's another day to waste
Always on my phone
Prisoned by my thoughts
I'd do anything to keep me busy

Yet, i still don't want to sleep

I worry about my future
Is this really what i want to be in
Am i going to the right path
Or am i wasting my time with this so called "dream"
I just want to be free

I don't want to sleep

I don't want tomorrow to come
I don't want another day to worry
I don't want to feel trapped
I don't want the end to be near
I no longer see the future with me in it

So i just don't want to sleep

She cries
Cause she'd had enough
But **** life!
Giving her more
She's just a kid
She can't take it all in
She has noone to lean on
Noone to talk to
So please, life
Be nice to her
Be gentle with her
And don't let her take you away from her

i have a problem
i thought you'll help
but something happened
you turned out to be the problem

I think I should stop
Stop caring for what others might think
Think about me and the things I do
Do what I want and not what they want
Want what's been missing in my life
Life that has given me a lot
Lot of problems and joy
Joy that seems to be so far
Far from what I imagined it would be
Be good to others and make them smile
Smile or at least make them laugh
Laugh their hearts out to forget
Forget the things that aren't good
Good to me nor good to them
Them people who only want what's best
Best of people and best of times
Times that I shouldn't be wasting
Wasting on nonsense or so
So I really think I should stop
Stop and just be happy

I have a family
But my sister hates me
I don't know about my parents
And my brother, too
My little sister, she's the only one that can truly make me happy
My friends, I guess they won't understand me
They have their own life
But I love them all
This may not be a poem
But what the heck?
My tears are flowing!
It hurts so bad that noone seems to notice me
It's like they don't wanna get involved with me
As a result, I get nervous everytime I talk
I just don't show it
I don't have that special someone
That I can tell everything to
From my ups and downs
To what's on my mind
Noone dared to ask me about my life
About how I feel
About how I think about them
About everything
I even think I'm not normal anymore haha
I don't know
I feel so empty
This is my second time to cry at night
Where noone can hear me
Noone, I guess

There you are
Standing so far
Can't reach you
How I wish I could feel you

Now you're by my side
Thought I could never find
Someone like you
Cheering me up when I feel blue

Don't know why
But did I just see you smile?
Listening to me when I talk
Won't turn your back and walk

I feel so happy
For you are always with me
Hope this would be forever
For I would let you go never

Why do I feel this way?
Like people left me behind.
And now I'm all alone.
With noone to hold on.

Can someone come to me?
And tell me that everything's going to be alright.
'Cause I know I'm not.
And I don't think I handle more of these *****.

Life for me is hard.
And so as for you, I guess.
But I wish that someday one will come to me and say,
"it's alright, I'm here. I'm not gonna leave you on your own."

And there they are.
My savior, my light, my love.
Jesus, the answer.
And God, the one that's been there for me all along.