It hurts as bad as it did back then,
back when we used to play
And I wrote about my ways

Stanzas and lines composed how I felt
But even that has failed me now
As I sit beside myself,
I long for you

Because all I am, longs for you
And all I do is suffer
My emotions all over the place like I'm 16

And no one in a decade has ever made me
Feel the way I feel,
for you

Forget me not
As the sun sets
And I grasp your hand tighter

Remember me forever and ever
As the water carves out
Two separate rives
Diverging into two tributaries

That we were once one
And we have grown
Into something better
Than that of what we once were

And you will become something great
Of that which we write poems about.

So here it goes again.
Like a bad nightmare
My body is longing
Anxious
In so many ways
I've cried twice in the past
Ten times more for you

Because I know what I want
And what I will do are different

I am a responsible adult
Void of emotions
Full of logic.
He's...
Perfect.
You are flawed.

You reach out and
All I feel are emotions
Crippling emotions
Anxiety about my
Craving
for your touch
Wanting to love you
Heal you

He is flawless
In everyway my compliment
Except I can not reciprocate
His undying devotion

What is wrong with me?
Feels like a choice between
My best friend and my heart

I've lost my soul you see,
at the bottom of the see sea c.

For a paltry sum of a few wishes
and a ***

I've gotten everything I've ever wanted
and I'm left wanting

"Friends make life worth living"
Feels like I wrote that a life time ago

I do not have any friends
I am alone, an island

My other half is self-centered
And I too insecure
To be alone - within my own mind
hatred creeps up the walls
and down the corridors.

Decisions
To fly the coop
cliche saying fly at night

Or live staring my insecurity in the face
Regretting doing what is expected.
I always do what is expected
expected - not what I want
I have lost my humanity

And in all I am alone
and ashamed.

like today.
i can’t get your face off my mind.
I have no idea why?
maybe its the old photos I glanced at
where I was happy

maybe its traveling back to my house
seeing remnants of my old life
nips at my heels
all my mistakes
like starving children, cry out

WHY?

feed me. feed me so I wont stave