The dawn was no longer coming
The earth was no longer spinning
The horizon frozen.
We had moved into the deep chill
of our lives
The deep chill of our love.
Stone cold granite silence
Dancing around each other in
slow motion rotation
eyes like arrows
eyes like mirrors
words silent daggers
breath like icicles
held and panting,
volcanic eruptions seething
beneath the surface,
choreographed
hurt and rage
posing
feigning
covering up,
boiling blood
in
this frozen silence

civil, constrained, polite.

We turned around
walked away again,
alone
again,
with nothing changed
and
nothing said.

The first comment
I received
a "*******"
with a smiley face
I laughed off
wouldn't you?
Kind of crazy
kind of creepy
put it away as some one
we all know.

The second comment
came
with the usual language refrain
I was a "hack"
my words were "dreck".
The disparaging words about
my dead mother
gave me pause to reflect.

The third comment and more
began to recall
information of past
faux pas
secret affairs
one or two personal pecadillos
never mentioned beyond
the
dialogues in my mind.
Embarrassing I know.

I, of course,
went to the home page
to see
if it was someone
known to me.

No identifying data
but a picture I remembered vaguely
from a past I didn't know.

The trolling continued
relentless I would say
pulled the plug
put up a block
but
wouldn't you know

The comments continued
to come into my dreams
brutal criticism
of
every move I made
the day finally arrived
when I realized

Alter personalities were shedding off of me
like
psychological psoriasis
They were
hitting the ground running
I was
finding poems
I didn't remember writing
clothes I never bought
People kept hugging me
I had never met before
they
knew me far to well
called me many names
none of which were mine.

The silence of my nights were broken
when I found myself
in my car on Highway 101
returning from where I did not know
with a smile on my face
illegal drugs in my pocket.

How did I get here?
How did we get there?
Where are we now?

Another account opened
on Hello Poetry
with an anagram of my name.

I find my days
getting shorter and shorter
it became clear
I had become the dream
The others
had become me.

Come together people
and
write this poem

The end of war
we know it's coming

It's gotta come now
there's no more time
to
wait
The Blue Orchid
it's wilting in space.

The power of peace
it's gotta get moving
"If you're not part of the solution
You're part of the problem"

You hurt me
I hurt you
You **** my sister
I **** you too
You **** my child
I slaughter more.

"War War
what is it good for? "

Come together people
and
hear the cry
the mourners are suffering
but
forgiveness survives.

The dead don't dance
too many on the ground
listen
listen
We can still hear the human sound.

Come together people
and
write this poem
The one that will get
peace going.

It's been one too many centuries
no more time for this disease
eradication for this plague
the anecdote
only our words
can say

We can all share in this
our
Poem Of The Day.

There’s a place up the avenue
Where lovers come to fail
Look at each other with dispute
And hate is all they feel.

When they check in they always say
“I tried so hard, where do I sign my name.”
They always complain about the investment they have made
Does the room, have a place to change?
The credit card’s declined
The Hotel never seems to mind
The key is in the shape of a broken arrow
right to the heart.
The desk clerk smirks
Gets your name exactly right,
Even though you’ve never met
until this night.

The concierge will give you directions to the local graveyards
The bell hop only dances and never says a word
When you give him a tip, he’ll only throw out your words
The elevator only goes down
The only music heard is the sound
Of a solitary heart beating in rhyme
Singing the song
“You will never be mine”.

The hall way corridor goes on forever backwards in time
The lonesome sounds of whales singing
Echoes through the halls, coming through the walls
And from beneath every door.

The rooms offer amenities
The devil dancing in the pain
On the head of a pin
The walls have one function
That’s to close on in.

The ribbon of blood
That seeps through the mirror
Dances in inkblots all the way
To the sink
Which drips tears of
Frustration
Resignation
Isolation
Recriminations.

The bathtub waters
Only run too hot
or
Too cold.

There is a bed of nails
Inviting ruminations
The images of her with him
Him with her
Strobes on the ceiling in endless loops
Of anguish’s fatal tunes.

Room service offers a variety of suicide utensils
The mini-bar contains a row of empty bottles
and a syringe without a needle.

The garbage men are always out side
Garbage cans crashing through the endless night sky
The windows open to brick walls
While couples in bliss dance cheek to cheek
In the bar across the street
Sometimes they look up at you and smile
That smile.

This nightly room has become a weekly
The weekly a monthly
And if you are not careful
Stay too long
Once you check in
The check out will always be closed
At the Hotel Heartbreak
Just down the road.

We are so much younger
"we know better than that"
is
what we say

I'm in love with another
you are too

I remember you
we had met in school
You remember me
it is serendipity

We say
" we shouldn't head down that path"

When we enter the river
it is calm and flat
We tell each other
with a glance

"we can't".

One foot follows another
and
into that dangerous river
we
take a chance.

We know the river heads
to
a waterfall
and
in the end
we are bound to take us all.

We don't have a choice.

The water is calm
your lips are soft,
floating
gently down that stream
singing
"life is but a dream. "

At any time we should get out.

You won't let me
and
I won't let you.

We've made our choice.

The warm waters
of
our bodies close
puts
us
half asleep
into
a waking dream

we are hearing things.

As
the pace begins to run
I reach for you
the current is picking up speed
lost in the river moment
we were sure we would be
all that we ever need.

The whiteness of the water
is
screaming at me
the currents of our desires
is picking up speed

Red flags are on the shore
Caution Signs
are glowing
in the sun

The rocky cold waters
are
carrying us all the way through

you grab on to me
I grab on to you
there is calmness
before
we are hurling out
of control
once more

to the precipice corner
of
the water's edge

Our eyes lock
you are looking into mine
desire's fears
blind
like the sun in your eyes.

You are letting go of my hand
rolling
to
the side
I'm not sure if you smile

Your feet are falling fast
holding *******
to
the dirt path.

I look down
into
the tumbling waters
straight to the bottom
to
the rocky reflecting dark pools
of
endless
desire, longings and lies

there is no going back.

The
currents unleashed rolling
are
too fast
too strong
for
that.

Closing my eyes
holding my breath
I take
the
dive
as
a matter of fact

I
went
straight back
to
the moment it all begins
when
I flew head long into you
now
I wonder
how often will
I
play this endless loop
through

just like that.

I'm recycling these nails
the cross is going too,
broken down
into
the wood from which it came.

I'm recycling you.
Nice try.

I was sure
you were exactly
my kind of guy.

No
you didn't have a car
Disability pending
that weekly motel was threatening
the rent was due a month ago
I know the manger is your best friend
and yes
I'm out of money
out of cigarettes
and I guess
you're out of time
not even time for one more line.

I thought
if I could only love you right
then
everything would be all right
hope is the hook
because
I love you
it must mean
you must really be good
until now
everything I thought
I thought was true.

Some kind of consciousness
came to me
I understood something
I had never seen
all of that
past trauma
this is what it means.

This is the last time
on my knees
the last time I take it
you know what I mean.

It's come down to this
when I die
it ain't
going to be
your life
I see
flashing before my eyes. . .

In the dimming light
those shadows start to fall
disintegrating as the sun sets
The scene begins to shift.

There's a guy in a trench coat
he has no pants
There's a woman in a wolf mask
she recently went into a trance
she started writing poetry
she started thinking she could dance
putting on the mask
put her into that trance.

Her husband's in the back
watching ***** movies
thinking he must be the one
but she knows he
doesn't have a chance.
It's why she wears the mask
she'll wake up too late from her trance.

There is a singer on the stage
naked as before
battling that stage fright
he's seeing you in your drawers
every time he starts to sing
a coyote is running around the room
he's always laughing at you
every time you think you're doing fine.

The librarian dressed in scarlet
has a **** story to tell
and you are the star
on
the walk of fame
everybody you say knows your name
while in neon on the avenue
their all laughing
and claiming your shame.

There's a smirking sycophant
begging for a war
no humility
usually means
a shadowed soul
and a tiny ***** to go along.

If you wake up screaming
from a dream
a shadow figure is hidden in your brain
their all screaming your name
go ahead and scream
you'd better
while the old crone
laughs and laughs and laughs.

Better zip it up
put it away
Halloween only comes but once a year
it's then shadows are free to appear
better put away the gear
take off those flowered knickers
all those shadows
they hold all your fears
one of these days
will they commandeer your soul
who knows?
Well you know.

There's no escape
turn on the lights
open the door
open the window
close your eyes
the dawn has come
all shadows will disappear
put on your pants
Walk out the door
pause for a moment
look around
it's all as it was before
that's a big sigh of relief
I've heard it before
I know that sound
it's the sound before
those shadows started to fall. . .

Mommy mommy
take me home
I've wandered these streets
alone
for far too long
what's a grown man to do
not knowing exactly
what he's supposed to do.
Bourn too many moments
of other's sorrows
at the expense of my own.

Mommy mommy
take me home
I saw you in my
dreams last night
a corpse in a car
you honked
as you drove on by
my thumb was out
trying to hitch a ride
to where I can not say
you put your finger to your lips
"Shush, baby"
was all you had to say.

The lights of the city burn
each one someone's home
each apartment
like souls
world's of their own
I've knocked on many doors
and some have let me in
though a place to rest
no home, no peace, no silence
for me.

I've been a restless poet
a wanderer too
forever traveling through
those internal landscapes
a paid guide
through all those painful memories
and those standing on the edge of suicide
some move along
some fall behind
I offer that pool of peace
reflections
is all I've had to give.

Mommy mommy
take me home
you are running far too late
I've been alone out here far too long.

Standing on this corner waiting
my eyes are tired
in burn outs fading light
the
streets shine neons invitations
but none welcome me.

Mommy mommy
what did you mean
when you put me out here
to be
and when will you pick me up
or
will I remain forever lost
out on this corner
thinking each car coming is you.

I'm still wandering these streets
paying the cost
looking for home
looking for you.

Mommy mommy
time to take me home
time to take me back to you.