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  Jul 2014 S Bonney
Sjr1000
We are so much younger
"we know better than that"
is
what we say

I'm in love with another
you are too

I remember you
we had met in school
You remember me
it is serendipity

We say
" we shouldn't head down that path"

When we enter the river
it is calm and flat
We tell each other
with a glance

"we can't".

One foot follows another
and
into that dangerous river
we
take a chance.

We know the river heads
to
a waterfall
and
in the end
we are bound to take us all.

We don't have a choice.

The water is calm
your lips are soft,
floating
gently down that stream
singing
"life is but a dream. "

At any time we should get out.

You won't let me
and
I won't let you.

We've made our choice.

The warm waters
of
our bodies close
puts
us
half asleep
into
a waking dream

we are hearing things.

As
the pace begins to run
I reach for you
the current is picking up speed
lost in the river moment
we were sure we would be
all that we ever need.

The whiteness of the water
is
screaming at me
the currents of our desires
is picking up speed

Red flags are on the shore
Caution Signs
are glowing
in the sun

The rocky cold waters
are
carrying us all the way through

you grab on to me
I grab on to you
there is calmness
before
we are hurling out
of control
once more

to the precipice corner
of
the water's edge

Our eyes lock
you are looking into mine
desire's fears
blind
like the sun in your eyes.

You are letting go of my hand
rolling
to
the side
I'm not sure if you smile

Your feet are falling fast
holding *******
to
the dirt path.

I look down
into
the tumbling waters
straight to the bottom
to
the rocky reflecting dark pools
of
endless
desire, longings and lies

there is no going back.

The
currents unleashed rolling
are
too fast
too strong
for
that.

Closing my eyes
holding my breath
I take
the
dive
as
a matter of fact

I
went
straight back
to
the moment it all begins
when
I flew head long into you
now
I wonder
how often will
I
play this endless loop
through

just like that.
S Bonney Jul 2014
Can you dance the last dance for
me
can you hold him so close
you hear his heart beat

Can you whisper those perfect
words
Can you breathe so slow
in his ear

Oh my dear, what roads
we have walked
what stars have we navigated
what distant dawn have
we pursued that my
last request for you

is to dance that last dance
for me, to hold him so
close,  he can hear your
precious heart  beat

what altered ways of being
have accumulated to bringing
this tragic song of hearts
breaking
                and last dances dancing
and breath breathing in
stranger's ears - with perfect
words -

What twisting of live's direction
could mirror in reflection
spotlight this lonely
complexion in this
dwelling with the utter lack
of any perfection

that the only reflection
I can offer is for your distortion
and can you dance
this last dance for me
as you hold him so close
you can hear his heart
beat

Can you come back around
with your vision so sound
and tell me the answer
with perfect words...
S Bonney Jul 2014
I can recall my lover's fall
she tried to be so strong
But when daylight came
I heard her call
and I could not go home.
She put her arms around my
mind and begged for my time
I tried - I cried, "it is okay my love"
but I had to let her go
She did not know I loved her so- but
time could not prevent
the fall and all the words and
all the desires did conspire
to create this fire, ******
into the vacuum of my words
which called - "Hold on my dear"
as into the darkness of free fall
she disappeared and in a blink
of light and heat was gone,
and the rooms were filled with
old echoes of what might
have been. . .
S Bonney Jul 2014
A time of disorganization, neglect and
isolation; run ragged by desperation
and dark self destructive desires.
Who is in charge of these
mechanisms inside?  A raging glutton
of obsession; no defenses. Tearing it
all down until utter destruction
devastation
a destination without rescue.
S Bonney Jun 2014
Billy never knew
he never existed
Outside of a creation
of my imagination
a childhood story told nightly
a night light
In which childhood fears hid
in its shadows
he was perfect
while I was flawed
he was brave
while I was always afraid
surrounded by friends
while I was always alone
he was an orphan
taken in by others
while my parents
were always gone
so striking every where he went
People looked to see him.

Billy died some time later
as exaggeration and pain set in
Tho he still sometimes comes around
to see how we're doin
we have no words
left to say
as childhood has slipped away. . .
S Bonney Jun 2014
The needier
you are
the
more attractive
the other
becomes.
S Bonney Jun 2014
The end of the line had
struck a bargain with
the end of time.

The reigning fallen
resurrected life's inadequacy
to explain their failures

Those that had sailed
through were condemned
to repeat hell

While god's gaping hole
insatiably swallowed the
dead and dying so that it
would feel whole

Standing on a speck of an island
surrounded by the blowing blue
seas

I watched all of these dramas
unfold around me
played out in three
dimensions while I
struggled to decide
about the marriage of
experience and time

which line and life
to with hold from mine

And thunder crashed
and all vulnerability
was smashed
these visions cast this
wretched moment
all the way back to my humanity

Helpless to effect the
outcome of these lost
and wounded wandering souls

In endless isolation
and complex mystery
and misery
and for their innocence
I died infinite times. . .
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