Watching, waiting, wondering
What is coming next
Do I have loved ones waiting
To welcome me into the wonderful depths
To fold their arms around me
In an all embracing hug
That shields me
No more pain, agony, anguish
These thoughts plague my very soul
Almost wishing it finished
So I can become whole

Am I see through
Or am I seen
Does anyone remember
The places I’ve been
The deeds all done
From past to present
Are they noticed
Most likely forgotten
Over time
Your actions erased
Even if mentioned
Met with a confused face

I wonder at the universe
So vast, empty, cold
And realise it’s easy
To feel so all alone
We are all just a tiny dot
Living tiny lives
Insignificant to the universe
Just as tiny flies
So while we live our little lives
Try to make a big impression
So you will be remembered
For a few more generations

I wish I could show my emotions
Not just write them on a page
That I act like such a coward
Fills me with a useless rage
Instead of just unloading
I choose to bottle up
All the things I should be saying
But my mouth I just keep shut

Heartache is a friend of mine
We are as close as brothers
We walk together everyday
Along with many others
So many think us weak to show
How much we feel inside
A person now is only strong
If they go on alone besides
I shed a tear every day
For those that don’t survive
That feel there is no other way
Than taking their own lives
All it takes to save these souls
Is time and understanding
To be listened to a little
And told they are worth something

Smiling on the outside
No one sees the woe
Laughing all day long
How do I even see it through
The pain is my companion
It is with me constantly
The drugs dull all the symptoms
But it wins eventually
So I laugh and smile and joke along
Making light of situations
Hiding all the pain I’m suffering
Taking my day with patience
Swallow the pills to **** the pain
And plod my path to relief

I’m angry
But why
The world
It’s hurting
We cannot
Stop it
Unless
We work
As one
To end
The suffering

War and Death
My old friends
I tried my best
Until the end
Many brothers
Along the way
Never made it
Till today

Gave their all
Though asked for nought
Battles raging
All for what
Blood spilled freely
On the fields
To fatten the greedy
With richer meals

I walk beside you
Through the valley
With no fear
I know my value
What we gave
In blood and sweat
Has been repaid
With ‘WE REGRET’

The men and women
That fought and died
Are being repaid
With hate and lies
Our countries
That we protected
Are being invaded
Our voices rejected

The homes we built
Are under attack
From the government
That ‘HAS OUR BACKS’
If they want our loyalty
Listen to ‘YOUR PEOPLE’
Not the minorities

If you were a watcher
What would you see
My day to day acting
Or me being me
My smile as I work
And chat to my colleagues
Or when I sit silent
Fighting the memories

If you were a watcher
Would you be surprised
To see me put my mask on
When I arise
After my meagre sleep
Awake with pain
To face one more day
Put my act on again

Where are all the friendships
Where is all the trust
All the greed for wealth and power
Have taken them from us
How much can money really buy
What can the power bring
When we leave this world behind
We take with us not a thing
So cherish all your friendships
Don’t be afraid to trust
Then we all can come together
Make the world better for us

What am I here for
What is my purpose
Is my presence needed
Or am I superfluous
Will I have an impact
On anyone’s lives
Or just be forgotten
Whenever I’ve died
I’m not looking for anonymous
Nor do I want infamy
Though I would like comfort
For all of my family

What is your beauty
your face or your heart
Your wealth or your soul
Your family or your isolation

What is your strength
your love or your anger
Your muscles or your brain
Your hatred or acceptance

What is your life
Your money or your passion
Your possessions or your legacy
Your words or your footprints

Whatever your love is
Make no apologies
Everything is different
In the way it is seen
If the is ever a question
Let it be
What is your...?

On the wind
The voices of the past
Remind us of our triumphs
Our failiures, loves and losses
Those choices made
That makes us, us

We all hear those whispers
Of what we could have been
And reminisce of time gone by
Of hopes endured, dreams come true
Or sorrows that forever live
For people lost friends gone

These guiding spirits of the past
Direct us onward down our paths
They tell us what is our best course
For happiness and contentment
To reside with us forever more

Who has many deep dark secrets
Who has voices in their heads
Who believes the world around them
Would be better if they were dead
Who thinks life is too much bother
Who wants all of this to end
Who has nothing left to live for
No one thinking they are friends

Everybody has some secrets
Voices speak to everyone
But just believe that there is someone
Wants you there because you’re loved
This will end these empty feelings
When you live through all the rough
Even when you’re at your loneliest
There are friends with which to talk

If your told real men don't cry,
Ask the question then, why?
The soldiers in Afghanistan,
Will cry whenever they lose a man,
They're brave and strong,
Real men I'd say,
They take whatever comes their way,
They risk their lives so you are safe,
They never ask what you can give,
A real man will cry to show,
The death of a comrade is real sorrow,
One hero less upon this earth,
A man that showed his real worth,
So if your told real men don't cry,
Then ask that person,
Really, why?

Will they ever just be silent
The voices in my brain
They talk so much of violence
Look what you’ve done they say
It was in our defence
Is always my reply
Although another question
In my mind is always
WHY?

Why is there fighting
When we are all one race
Can we not sit together
And talk face to face
Though we may all look different
Our hearts beat the same
So why is there fighting
And looking to blame

Lying here without you
On a lonely single bed
The only thoughts I have
Are of you running through my head
You’re not there when I reach out
I cannot hear you breathe
This time away from your side
Is a hell that doesn’t cease
My wish to be beside you
Even just to watch you sleep
And etch your image into my mind
Another perfect memory to keep

Words can convey
Hopes, dreams,
Fears, loves,
Desires, emotions
The list is endless
How can we just
Frivolously use these
Weapons to wound
But also words
Can heal
Remind us of
Our loved ones lost
Spread the love
In our hearts
And share it
Is anything more powerful
Than words

Words are solid
Liquid and insubstantial
They can comfort,
Console and heal
They can embrace with love
Make you fly and hold you
In enchantment

Words are also weapons
They can hurt,
Wound and maim
They can tear your heart
Out of your chest
They can make you sink
To your own black hell
To suffer in eternity

Our words evoke emotions,
They have real effects
So choose your words with kindness,
Lest end up with regrets
But all these are
Is words wrote down
What could I ever know
Except that when my mind runs loose
My river of words flows.

Bone weary, dog tired
Beaten, hanging, frazzled, fried
Knackered, shattered
Whacked or battered
This is how we live

The work is long
The time is short
No margin for things going wrong
They pay as little as they can
And take the lives of many

Generations old and new
Are worked so hard
As to be abused
Thrown away when thoroughly used
Replaced with one much younger

There is no greater pleasure
Than to curl up with a book
You can go to any place or time
You just need to take a look
Escape to the Wild West one day
And rob a bank or two
Or watch a wizard cast his spells
While combating a coup

A book is just another way
Of leaving the world behind
To get away from all your stress
And kiss your woes goodbye
So think of all the authors
As saviours of us all
They give us so much joy and hope
When we are in their thrall

As my eyes opened
You I saw
Even though
You were not there
But in my mind
Your never gone
You’re by my side
Forever

With my hands
I could not touch
Your perfect skin
Though all I feel
When I reach out
Is you beneath
My fingertips
Ever present

I still get baffled
Every day we are together
What you see in me
Is a mystery

I cause heartache
With decisions made
I believe are right
Though they make you rage

My good intentions
Are mine alone
I find no words
To make them known

But every day
You are with me
You choose to stay
And not to flee