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You bend
and almost break.
My pretty dead doll
skin pale as bone
spreads her legs
like a gate to bliss
now wide open.

Worship your white stone temple
words whispered from my thirst.

With tongue and fingers
I write my worship.
1d · 34
Digital Girl
All zeros and ones
binary becoming
the form of my dream
out of the digital screen.
When I was sitting at home, considering suicide,
you were ******* someone else.
When I was too nervous to even go outside,
you were ******* someone else.
When I was staring down the barrel,
you were ******* someone else.
When I was needing love and protection,
you were ******* someone else.

And when I needed my
wife,
soul-mate,
friend,
lover,
more than ever,
guess what you were doing?
7d · 71
Plush
Yes come,
let's surround ourselves
with each other.
Jun 5 · 11
Ink Lust
RMatheson Jun 5
I want to spread you open
like the blank pages I use
to write on,
and cover you in the poetry
of my lust.
Jun 3 · 55
Too Sweet to Let Go
RMatheson Jun 3
I weigh down on you
through sunset
and into the black.

I nearly crush your little frame,
reducing you into your safety.

Can you feel me?

Who are you?

I'm here,
waking in a sweat,
from a dream too sweet,
to let go.
"Weigh down on me. Stay till morning. Way down...would you say I'm worthy?"
RMatheson Jun 1
The sky is greying
like an old man
and the clouds are so close
to crying your name.
RMatheson Jun 1
Powder-white and goose-bumps
in the rain.

You slide down my throat like a...

My numbing mouth,
the flashing lights.
I can't control
my sleep tonight.
RMatheson Jun 1
Running running
silently as
Godspeed You! Black Emperor plays
in our shared
binary ying-yang.

Escaping, we fly,
inspired to stay audible
and we are free.
RMatheson May 31
Come with me to the trees,
unjudged,
moon white as your skin,
like Lucifer,
and just as beautiful.
May 31 · 25
Silhouette
RMatheson May 31
Like a stranger you appear
the places you left in
my construction paper-heart
now finding ways to divide schismically.

There are parts,
some better,
filling in your
silhouette.
May 31 · 52
Delicate
RMatheson May 31
Delicate thing
the bones exposed
through translucent skin
under which flows
the vivid red lines,
highways that lead
to and from
her heart.

And I'm dreaming of a dream
and we are lost,
white makeup,
trees, everywhere.
May 30 · 126
Luci
RMatheson May 30
Just a simple twist of words
to tighten maybe pull the cord
as brittle as the shells may be,
there's the watchful eyes of Miss Luci.
May 29 · 54
Night Dreaming
RMatheson May 29
I'm day dreaming
as you night dream
and I can only
imagine what inverted blessings
have I done that now
reveal you to me,
sleeping,
away from any problems,
only
innocence
and
beauty remain.
May 29 · 26
Separate
RMatheson May 29
Separate phone plans.
Separate bank accounts.
Separate vehicles.
Separate homes.
Separate insurance.
Separate hearts.
Separate lives.

Separate.
RMatheson May 29
The hold music is especially poignant today
and my heart is hurting
as I wash the last dish you ever used,
feeling the last warm water that involves you,
with my fingers wrinkling up one last time
as I commit this morning ritual,
again,
with no one to celebrate it with.
May 29 · 50
Plush
RMatheson May 29
Straw-colored veil
falls naturally into itself.

She smiles,
not knowing its power.

Little bones etch the flesh
and quickly clouds are parting,
laying out their symphony
of rain upon this tightened roof.

In her fragility
she shines,
so strong.
RMatheson May 27
Your Mother died
at only thirty,
when you were just
thirteen.

I'm sure you've always wondered,
and so have I,
whether you would live longer
than her.

Turns out,
you died at thirty,
too.
May 26 · 31
Comedy
RMatheson May 26
It's funny how quickly
people disrespect you,  
when you start realizing
your worth.
May 26 · 41
Liar
RMatheson May 26
I said I could never be mad at you
but you pushed
until you made
me a liar.
May 26 · 48
Bit The Hand
RMatheson May 26
The thing you begged for
and were gladly given
has turned
and you have bitten the hand.
May 26 · 45
Non Serviam
RMatheson May 26
I will not serve this
weak heart.
May 26 · 44
Spider Eyes Bloom
RMatheson May 26
The sap dries not so hard,  
sticky to the sweetness
of your maidenhead.

Stroked away like
paint peeling, yellow in its curls.

Your face never wanted
what it said to give.

And I was left
spinning spinning spinning
into what could have been,
but luckily,
is not.
May 26 · 40
I'm Not Sorry to Say
RMatheson May 26
That
I hope
you're sad

that you get that special kit out

that you look puffy-eyed from crying

that this poem ****** you the *******.

I just don't have
time enough
to suffer love
that's been poisoned
for years.
RMatheson May 26
You ****** someone else.

"Don't say that, you're berating me!"

So I can't talk frankly about
what you've done? What
the **** am I supposed to say?

"Call it 'an affair'!"

But you let some other guy
*******
(more than once).
I can't talk frankly about it?
About how you let another man
enter you?

"*******!"

And the door slams.

And the car drives away.

And I feel a weight lift off of me.
May 26 · 126
I Always Warned You
RMatheson May 26
And like that,
the switch
in my head
in my heart
is, somehow, impossibly,
flipped to "off"
You won't talk frankly
about what you did.

Keep running,
you'll never find happiness.
RMatheson May 26
You should have
hit the light switch
as you left, cursing me.
May 25 · 40
The Door
RMatheson May 25
Empty me out
blood,
to the floor.

Open my veins,
hung from the door.
May 25 · 32
Tears//Years
RMatheson May 25
A way to sing the praise
of rotting memories
without the tears
without the years
without the tears
without the years

...

you could come
if you choose.
May 23 · 101
Don't Think I Don't Know
RMatheson May 23
Don't think I dont know.

The music isn't a magnet,
it's an escape.
RMatheson May 20
Conquistador
claiming you
night after night.

In those hot and
cool May and June nights.

How much could mean
nothing?

In memoria,
our ashes sing
songs of sadness.
RMatheson May 20
Over the ridges of kettle corn chips
as some sort of enduring
piece mail attempt at balance.

It's never possible.
You are unlovable.

And if fault may lay,
it lay in me.
When I die,
early of my years,
I've gladly gone,
and am listening to music
with Noni
and Tim.
RMatheson May 17
Gaze down I examine
the dried once-white paint
peeling away from
the wooden window frame.

I am abbreviated
in my stance
as the knock reaches my ear.

Who are you?
I know you,
I mean,
I knew you.
I knew you?
I knew you...

Sunlight catches the air

I realize it was a dream.
I was wake-walking
into that leaning
blue-hearted home,
whose colonial frames
bear the weight of guilt,
peering, leaning
into me.

I become nothing.
May 14 · 154
Green Finger's Revenge
RMatheson May 14
The flower bloomed
in fertile dirt
then pulled her roots up,
spat on the soil she grew from,
petals turning vanta black,
and left.
RMatheson May 13
I cradle my head
like the Old Guitarist
the leather of this couch
a cold and dead reminder
of your flesh
which I would feed on
in this very spot.
RMatheson May 13
Right back there
in the basement
dark,
Dark Crystal on the television.

Right back to age six.

It's funny how betrayal
will nuke you right back
to the Stone Age:

No comfort.
No relief.
No touch.

No touch...

And so I sit
six years old
and watch
this movie
again,
alone.
"All right, alone, then!"
May 13 · 44
I Never Wanted This
RMatheson May 13
How dare you
take it away.
May 13 · 41
When I Look Back
RMatheson May 13
Will I just think,
"Yeah, wasn't worth it,
I should've left years ago"?
May 12 · 45
Our Wedding Cake
RMatheson May 12
It has been
festering
for years.
May 12 · 31
How Lonely Am I?
RMatheson May 12
My pornhub
searches
start with
"loving".
May 12 · 47
Concrete
RMatheson May 12
The
pavement
cracks like
memories.
RMatheson May 12
And there's
no girl
in the passenger seat
to keep me
in my lane.
May 12 · 105
You Were a Worm
RMatheson May 12
I had no idea
you were tunneling
under the life we had made
churning up ground
and defecating it out
until it all collapsed
in a pile of ****.
May 12 · 22
How Can it Be?
RMatheson May 12
How can it be
that after all
you're just another
stereotype.
May 12 · 34
Just Like Heaven
RMatheson May 12
I see pictures of you
and recoil
in shock
at the sight
of the face
of the girl
you destroyed
(she wasn't real,
she drowned herself
inside of you).
May 12 · 23
Ghost Messages
RMatheson May 12
The only thing
harder than my pain
is how I press the letters
writing messages
to you that
I will delete,
unsent.
RMatheson Apr 15
I wish I was heart-broken
Sad, let-down, hurt.

But what you've done
is grind this heart of mine
to a fine black powder,
and dust
doesn't pump.

And I'm sick
So sick
I'm vomiting up
black powder
and soon, hopefully,
this stupid aching heart,
will die.
RMatheson Apr 15
How did it feel to watch me,
trusting you,
oblivious
to all your crimes
against us?

You proved everyone right.

You proved me wrong.
Betrayal
Apr 15 · 51
Gaslit
RMatheson Apr 15
A cunning girl
who knew how
to get exactly
what she wanted
at the time.
You always said, "When I want something,  I make it happen."
RMatheson Apr 15
What the **** else do you
want me to say about it?
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