The ocean surface
spills into a sinking vessel
and
     I
        am
       d r   i   f      t       i           n                g

The heat from the furnace
cannot replace
the warmth
of you

and I'm freezing
in your absence.

I stood in the day
outstretched arms
as I stared directly into the sun.

I could feel its life giving aura
bounce off me,
not penetrating my brittle heart
and often times

I'm ready for it to end.

I'm sorry
I didn't show up
knowing all you'd been through
before.

I'm sorry
You counted on me
and were only let down
again.

I'm sorry
That I got comfortable
and took your love for
granted.

I'm sorry
That I gave you safe spaces
then slowly pulled them
away.

I'm sorry
I let my illness get the better of me
breaking your
trust.

I'm sorry
I'm sorry
Mija,
I'm sorry.

Your hips rotate, counter-clockwise
and I breathe deeply into your
honey ***,
my wet tongue coaxing you out
your button shows.

I press it
tongue it
gently
then not so
gently.

Worship at the temple I present
Hard stone, broad
supplicate yourself
in prayer before it.

Face down now
spread
open
invaded
consumed
release
***

Kind words
Pure love
Tender care
Open hearts

We used to lay out like cartwheels singing songs
as the world spun around us, uncaring
we danced around it until madness stole
our innocence.

And I've never been more convinced
that ruin, like the horrors of leftover war,
can be overgrown again
and green.

The light in my life
the care that is given
the love that is had
the loss that is hidden

The choice I have made
the way I express
the spaces between
where I am defenseless

The cracks where they show
the pain that still stings
the way to escape
finality brings.

The love that we have
the endless dream
the corrupting touch
of all that we've seen

Drunk on the vapour
as the worm turns
Erase and rewrite me
all I am is words