Am I awake?
Alive, but unsung
Ego under
Self-fandom dead
No one in worship
Alone in the bed
Cold as a single in
the bed that we've made.

This wasn't supposed to be
about you,
but you have completely
overrun me defenses,
invaded every peaceful
part of my being.

And I've been sleep walking
through our love
only to find
I was never restrained.

He fled, his shelter broken.
A carnie, free in molestation.

Though drunk in stability
she saw the bank account
and drooled.

When life turns against us,
I choose you.
When scars are all it seems we have,
I choose you.
When the easiest way is out,
I choose you.
When the easiest way out is not easy at all,
I choose you.
When the end seems like the only way,
I choose you.
And if you walk away,
I choose you.
Until my end and beyond,
I choose you.

****
****
Me
You
Give
Receive
Dominate
Submit

I uncurled myself today
dug my fingers right in, nails first
like putty my skin gave way
and I reached inside
sinewy tendrils I grasped like noodles
slippery and slick
and I pulled until
I removed myself
from myself
and unraveled
in a wet pile.

I still wait for you
I still long for you
I still think of you
I still want to talk to you
I still want to smell you
I still want to touch you
I still want to *******
I still want to love you

I still want you
and drop tears that will not stop,
at the end of the day.

It's funny how
things like
opening and closing
the windows
with the daybreak
stick in your mind.