yesterdays like today
expecting what is to come
with the rising of the sun
like a Chinese whisper
passed through time and ancestry
the overall message
is muddied along the way

Maybe there will come a point
a turning point, swiveling on
the axis of my rotations
and I'll hear the whisper
barely audible small and infantile
and I will finally understand
until then the days are transcribed
into tally marks
etched out on the walls of life

A ride.
Nighttime.

Big like a man but
wrapped like a present
in paisley spandex
she wails at the world.

ain’t life Good.  
Ain’t life good to me.

Rain stains her cheeks
As I walk by she shrieks

You ain't all that.
you Ain't all that to me.

I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand--
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.

The first time i went to church
I was terrified
It was an old church
and bore the cracks
and tombstones to show it
I was terrified because
I was convinced
that Jesus was trapped in the attic
chained to the rafters
malnourished and wild eyed
scruffy and emaciated
our lord and savior
a sunken eyed chattering skeleton
and I didn't know why
they kept him up there
feeding him our sins
while preaching their love
like scorpions
as the herd grows larger

I.
My first in first grade
I carved your name in my desk
I hope it's still there.

II.
Made class valentines
Required for everyone
But mine was special.

III.
You begged the teacher
To sit by me on the bus
With a great big smile.

IV.
The first who wanted
To take me out for dinner
But it was a joke.

V.
Dedicated song
I can no longer hear it
Without thought of you.

VI.
You never said it
But your eyes always told me
You had wanted more.

VII.
You dated my friend
And I never told you how
Much I adored you.

VIII.
Playful like a child
But mature like an adult
So interesting.

IX.
You asked me to prom
Yellow flowers for friendship
That's all I wanted.

X.
You said you loved me
I loved you like a brother
It would never work.

XI.
You swore up and down
You had changed for the better
You didn't, first kiss.

XII.
Late walks on campus
Never saw me with makeup
We were so natural.

XIII.
Eyes found each other
"I don't forget pretty girls"
you whispered to me.

XIV.
I fell quickly, hard
But you still loved someone else
A girl with my name.

XV.
A friend of a friend
Texting non-stop everyday
Going nowhere fast.

XVI.
Liked me from the start
Bruised and broken, I do care
But not in that way.

XVII.
The piano man
It was all right but timing
One that got away.

XVIII.
We tried to fight time
Thinking that you were ready
Left us with heartache.

I have been waiting for you around the
Edges of my heart, where you lurk in
The underbrush and the shadows; still
Too lost in the rest of the world to know
To navigate back home.

I have been waiting for you in the
Pause at the end of every sentence,
the hitch of every breath, and
Within the depths of my waking lids-
Explosive starlight ablaze in my minds
Eye.

And
I have been waiting-
Patience my sedative-
For the hand that fits over
Mine and warms the chronic
Chill.

You have waited too; I can tell because
In your sleep I am always awake and
Pacing-I know you are restless
And need someone to kiss your crown
To remind you that not all kings have
Castles.

But they have riches--
my soul can promise you that.

If you've wondered why I shy from bathing in your eyes
-it's because I'm terrified of where you'll drain me.
Refraining
Abstaining
From explaining why my brain chains itself to the thought of you.
The thought of you-
Remains coursing through my veins like heavy doses of *******;
I can not restrain the rain that steadily maintains its downfall along the inner walls of my thighs
If I jump inside your eyes,

Will you bathe me?

I promise you I'm not a love poet, but if I were...
I'd write about how I want to massage your back with notes
so your body can sing songs your lips don't even know the words to.