Hey Pops,
things got a little crazy back there
huh,
the funny thing is
whenever people would say to me
"You're just a spitting image
of your dad"
I was proud
Proud to think that
one day I could be like you
A family
and riches
and land
and the love of a great woman
then came the move
another country
only meant new troubles
Big city American troubles
far beyond the Drax farming village
I remember the night
you were drunk off of
gin and tonics
which was a feat for you
and you cast iron liver
you told me
to not go to college
unless I knew exactly
what I wanted to do
This surprised me,
you said you wanted to be
an archaeologist,
you climbed the grand canyon
and visited Australia
before your career
which you pursued for us
took its toll

You told my Mum
that for your 25th anniversary
you were taking her abroad
the location a secret
then a week before
you dropped the bomb
"I'm not happy
I want a divorce"
which I could have understood
if it wasn't for the cowardice
which ran through your veins
Old Man,
and I hate you
because I love you
because I can't forget
what you've done for me
the opportunities I've been given
and maybe it wouldn't hurt so much
If I hadn't heard my Mum
sobbing her eyes out on Christmas Eve
so here I am
a prospective college drop out
with nothing but words to cling to
and a determination
to prove everybody wrong
who made comparisons between us
and like I said,
I still love you
but that doesn't mean
that I won't dedicate my life
to undermining everything you wanted
but never had,
Dad,
I'm going to be your worst nightmare
evidence that
You can follow your dreams
and still be a good person
free of coward blood
evidence that
you made the biggest
******* mistake of your life
I will be everything you could have been,
but failed at
Old man,
I love you,
and I thank you
from the bottom of my heart
but at the same time
*******
for teaching me the most important lesson
To let your passions die
cut's deepest of all
Love from
your once and always
son

At times it might feel as if
you can't do anything right,
like the only thing you're good at
is ******* things up
and every turn you make
leads only to dead ends,
The clocks on the wall
still tick tock their pretty little hearts out
like laughter,
cruel laughter
at how broken you are,
but the important thing
is to never forget
that a broken clock
is right
twice a day

Gone are the times
when we feared
the monster in the closet
no,
now we fear
the monster in the mirror
these forehead wrinkles
where did they come from?
(Probably from a pack a day)
The cynicism,
when did it infect the veins
the arteries which run through
the hallways of our body?
Overnight we made the leap
from boys to men
girls to women
growing up
can seem like
one big ******* nightmare
but for every nightmare
there are numerous dreams
beautiful dreams
and the mark of growing up
is being able to see the choice
between living a nightmare
or chasing a dream

things change
like the passing of the seasons
don't take this fro granted
change is scary
yet at the same time
change is right
change is good
change is cleansing
people change,
inevitably,
any attempts to change the change
are futile,
it's all a matter of perspective
so don't ever think of it as a goodbye
goodbyes are poisonous things
rather,
think of it as
another chance to say
hello

Seven months wasted, because when I think
Of us, I think of the day you
Told me I wasn't thin, and the nights
You would tell me to leave you alone
And the next mornings where
I was expected to be in your bed
Followed by the day
You dumped me because of a
Pregnancy scare,
And how I was always too
Childish
Or how I wasn't allowed
To hang out with other boys
The day I dyed my hair, you said you liked it better
Before, and when you got mad
Because I didn't want to ******* right when
You wanted it,

So when I think of
You,
I think of seven months wasted
And no, I don't smile

Two voracious insane/timeless innocence

entitled clarity/ You promise deliverance

You lean across the door/I won't back down from this war

Underneath the guise of a handsome man looking to score/the name of a boy who was buried by his father's love of ******