I thought I’d be strong enough, but it looks like I’m weak
I thought I was smart, but I guess I’m just dumb
I thought I would manage, but I just keep crashing
I thought I’d be different, but I’m just the same
No one wants me, not even myself
I’m not what anyone thought I could be
I’m just the square trying to fit in to the circle’s spot
Too clumsy, big, rugid, and different to fit my own expectations
I said I’d be fine
But I’m not…

It's okay, you don't have to love me
Because if I'm being honest as can be
I've never loved myself anyway
So if you can't see through this filled ashtray,
It's means I'm not worth the time
But it's okay, I'll be fine

Another day
Another year
And still I'm stuck in place right here
A lifetime left, with life you won't get
Why you instead of me?

I'm sorry
I'm a nice person and I'm sorry
Because I keep forgetting  
That being nice stopped being important
To everybody but me after elementary
I'm sorry
Because I keep forgetting
That I'm made the villain  
For doing the right thing

The only words
My mother has ever spoken
That actually stuck in my brain
It shouldn’t be this hard

Where is my Gilbert Blythe?
All I want is a person
That believes that happiness is the main goal of a relationship
And not the other thing.
Girl or boy, it doesn't matter
But the girls tend to judge me and make me feel bad
And the boys have only had that one thing on their mind
I thought they were good
I had faith in them
I had faith in him
And just like the others
He's gone and done the same thing, too.
So where are you?
I know I'm young
I know I have time
But with all the time I've already wasted
I know it's not all of you
I know you aren't all the same
So show me something different
I'm tired if the constant heartbreak.

I’m feeling an absolute fear
I feel a tightness in my chest that won’t go away
And my heart feels like it’s choking
This is the fear that makes me feel like I’m just an ant
Anyone and anything could simply just step on me
Thinking is what this fear is
I can’t have even a split second of time to reflect on myself
To see how I feel
Because I don’t have a dam
I only have a door
And if I open this door everything comes rushing out
Choking me with salty water
And making me gasp for any air I can get
Not a split second to myself, not truly anyway
I can’t deal with people asking me to focus on myself right now
It’s the same as asking me to drown myself