I want to slip back into old habits
Take the razor blade and dig for a vein
Or maybe the white of my bones
I want to search for myself in there
In the blood and tissue matter
Past the scarred mess he left
Try and find out what makes me tick
Heart or head
Which comes first

Here I am
Trying hard to see the bottom of this hole
but the light was turned off many years ago
And I fear that maybe I will die alone

Here I am
Frantically praying to a god that isn’t there
hoping someone will turn and say ‘I care’
but no one will, they just laugh and stare

Here I am
Desperately seeking an escape from this
but down I fall into the dark abyss
It’s sad to know I won’t be missed

Here I am
Bullet through my heart and out my back
Noose is wrapped tightly round my neck
Pills are downed until I feel a bit sick

I'm no longer here
do you have any regrets?

I know your best sides
and  I know your worst.
I know every one of your flaws
and each one I love.
Whether I’m standing there holding you
or on the phone halfway across the world
or even if I’m that faceless person telling you things are OK,
I’ve always been there for you.

But things have changed
I’ve changed, you’ve changed
Months have gone by since that last night,
But love is strange, love is strong,
it finds ways to creep into your veins
and resurface when you least expect it
because true love never dies,
It resurfaces.

As long as there is love left in my veins,
Second chances will always come our way.

I sat on my bed
staring at the floor
Face blank, mind racing, searching
Till I got this urge,
This shiver down my spine
this clawing at my insides
these whispers in my head
So I went to my window
Tore off the screen
Sticking my head out in the summer breeze
Stared at the trees and the birds and the leaves
And tried to imagine what flying would be like
What crashing would feel like
What my head would look like
After I jump face first out my window
Into the rock garden down below.
I sat there, on my window sill
One foot dangling over the edge,
the other touching my carpeted floor
Trying to decide whether or not tomorrow was worth living for.

What if tomorrow you wake up and I'm not here anymore
If the person you turned to couldn't turn to you
And became just a memory
Fading faster and faster.
In a few months you can't hear my laugh anymore
In a year my voice is gone
And years after you won't even remember my face.
I'll just be that girl who said see you tomorrow
Even though I knew tomorrow would never come

I miss how much I cared about the future
Concerned about how the world saw me
And how I saw myself
But lately I'll admit that I've grown too numb
To care about the person others see when they look at me

I miss how things were,
When I thought I knew what was next
When I thought tomorrow was guaranteed
And could tell myself that things will only get better
Without blatantly lying through my teeth

I miss your laughter, still echoing in my halls
But its too late to say that I wanted you to stay
Here I am, wishing time to turn back
So I could tell myself to hold on just a little longer
So I can stop being filled with so much regret

Darling you were my demise, there is no doubt
******* back the lines until my eyes are dead
Powder princess doped up and checked out

My minds grown foggy as I go through a bout
of self prescribed destruction, slicing skin painted red
Darling you were my demise there is no doubt

Forced insomnia upon my black eyes I shout
Wasting away to bones scars, blood and meds
Powder princess doped up and checked out

Trying to dissect my corrupted mind they scout
for some innocent piece I've long since shed
Darling you were my demise, there is no doubt

They try to save me from snow white's route
but It's too late to try, the monsters been fed
Powder princess doped up and checked out