Skin opened like a butterflies wings
through death my soul is released
it's lovely, truly
greyish tone, salmon hues
floating somberly towards you

Yes
reach towards me
touch my hand, trace my thighs
lean forward
and lunge towards my heart
rip it out
and steal the breath in my lungs
then cut the veins
one by one
infront of my teary eyes

Do you remember the summer?
the parties, fireworks and sand hills,
the laughing and screaming the crying and cuddling
your big arms squishing, and lifting and dragging me
splash pads and beaches and forts in your basement
and taxi rides home early because we just couldn’t wait;
the nights we remembered and ones left all hazy;
We used to be happy...

You are the anchor holding a ship down
You are the walls of a house with no exits
You are the roots dug deep in the ground
You are a cage with keys thrown away

But

I am the steering wheel, moving forward
I am the window sill, leaving options
I am the leaves in the wind, moving freely
I am the wings on a bird, breaking free

I feel like I was hit by a truck barreling down
while I was dancing in the highway praying nothing would hit me
but obviously, eventually, it would happen
somewhere deep in my gut I knew I'd get smashed into pieces
but I couldn't face reality, and slowly
slowly my time ran out

Somedays I don't see a reason to open my eyes
and force myself to go outside and socialize
with people who don't know me
and people that hate me
and people that really just want to break me

But everyday I wake up and pry those crusty eyes open
to tame my beastly hair and throw on pounds of makeup
to impress people that hate me and people that don't know me
and people that just want to break me
and I force a smile and a laugh as I walk into hell each day
standing upright, ***** pushed out, just to make them happy
but instead I get called a two-faced ***** who dresses like a ****
when all I do is smile and nod and smile some more
just so the day goes by quicker

And the worst part is, you can't leave this ******* hell
I come back to the confides of my home, to the purring of my cats
and the smell of my room and the squeek of my bed
And hell is still with me, it ******* follows me
I try and breath and step away but there it is on my screen
staring back, mocking me
and every night I ******* die a little inside because
no matter what I can't escape hell unless I'm drunk
or in a dreamless state of sleep

Pointless, yes
but after this
I swear to you
I'll ween you off your mothers breast
and cut the strings that keep you here
and drive until the path we took is no longer there
Once we're lost
We are saved