My pipe.....
It smokes often enough.
A simple yet mysterious thing.
People notice, yet don't seem to mind.
My pipe.... Elegant? Common?
The fragrance brings old memories.
My pipe....
It fills me with pleasures.
It fills me with thoughts.
Thought provoking a pipe is.
Grandpa's originally.
Lightly used in his days.
It is the thinking man's tool.
His weapon? Of sorts.
Mine to enjoy. Mine to ponder.
My pipe.....

Hiking here and there.
Strange things I've seen.
None more mysterious as
Stairs in the wood.
Have you seen yonder stair?
Such a sight, dare not climb.
Drawn to its strangeness.
Mystery abounds.
Here in the woods.
It should not be.
Straight from a house.
Or so it seems.
Some have seen the other side.
And lived to tell but a few.
Many never return.
Most have trouble.
With horrors unknown.
Broken, sick, and weakened.
Many stay away, some know why.
Tell the new ones this way go.
Time on top is not the same.
Farther it goes, we know not where.
Some are white, some are brown.
No matter the color, touches only the ground.
Makes no sense, these sights of sights.
Stairs in the wood.
Misplaced and strange.
Will ever be an understanding?
Of these flights, just one or two.
Most stay away, stories they lived.
Lost kids too they take.
No mercy these stairs give.
Hardest to see, perils not fake.
Don't assend, strange things do come.
Again, return unscathed only some.
Out of all the weird here in the wood.
None such as these, stairs in the wood.

Oh how I loved you
If only in a dream
Oh how I loved you
Puppy love, maybe
We met in our youth
We came so close to love
Separated by time and life
Marriage and children
Now ended and grown
We met again, three decades now
Excitement in our eyes
Time together, kisses too
My hopes of love build again
You didn't requite my letters
Your confession quite strange
Is our time through?
I wained to and fro
You are a witch
I still want to see you
Be your friend
I hope for love to grow
But, I cannot overcome
My beliefs, my ways
We're not comparable
A witch and I
White or not, I am sure
You will forever be there
In my thoughts so sure
Ones from our youth
Ones from our time recent
Kisses so soft and pure
Memories only to be?
For me, for now
Yes it has to be

End

Here I am continually.
Looking but never finding.
The eyes seek without ceasing!
Eager to capture even a glimpse!
The heart opens expecting infinite joy!
No, for whom I seek is not approaching.
Another, unknown passes by.
Am I to ache forever?
How long do I have?
Time never tells us, does he?
Is the end near? Yes always.
Always closer every evening.
Loved once, memories fading.
Unable to go back.
Lost again to time. Lost.
Morning calls to me to persevere.
The day filled, afternoon flies by.
No thoughts of whom I seek.
Evening. Evening. Once my friend.
Have you become...a sad old man?
Wanting your company, but wishing for another's.
You draw my attention to the one whom I seek.
Her picture forms in my imagination.
Here I am continually.

I think of life.
Organic, energy, light, spirit?
Small.....no micro.
Large.....no infinite.
So simple, yet complex.

I think of life.
As an elephant,
Large, gray, slow.
As a dragonfly,
So small and fast.

I think of life.
Child born.
Grows, learns,
Explores, lives.
Wains, falls.

I think of life.
My life.
Good or bad.
Such simple terms.
Yet so complex.

END

Feet together.
Feet apart.
Both are comfortable.
Both are not.

I do not know the dark world you "live" in.

For I have never been there.

Except in my nightmares.

Except in my darkest dreams.

What to do, what to say?

That will help you on your way.

I cannot relate.

I know not the fate.

Dark clouds cover all.

The sun shines on all.

Where for do you sulk?

I want to understand!

What is behind the man.

His pain and torment.

So much to lament.

A countenance down.

Always a frown.

The mirror never a smile it sees.

Why can't he sway like the trees?

People run and play.

Does he hope for the day?

Held high, to be spoiled?

Then what for?

Vanity I say!

Perfect.

Taker and giver.

The woman, lovely.

Weak, frail, pitied.

A curse for men.

Strong, smart, determined.

The woman, ugly.

Smile, wave, wink.

Taken and received.

The woman, lost.

The gift for men.

Flawed.

Costly and costly.

Taken from her place,

Better lands to sow.

The woman, cherished.

She is forever sought.

Marked. Inked.

Beaten and bruised.

Harasser, to get her way.

***** and ravished.

Broken, forgotten, left.

The woman, beautiful.

Devil and Angel.

Gift giver, to get her way.

Loves, lover, loved.

The woman, stunning.

Bearer of life.

Murderer, kills with words.

Diamonds pale next to her glow.

Qualities she possesses are in high regard.

Protected, guarded, and safe.

She makes her way so clear.

The woman, selfish.

Persevering year to year.

Who deserves such a wife?

Shapely, mesmerizing, lushish.

Little ones nourished all their life.

Security wanted, more than love?

The woman, shamed.

The woman, praised.

Odd to be odd
Different to me
Weird to others
Ignorant thoughts
Missteps
Mistakes made
Misunderstood
Framed
Out side the box
Drawing with my mind
Tasting your thoughts
Never understanding
Mysteries abound
The mind bending
Caged beings

Will I let it consume me?
This thing I've created.
I will not!
To do so is but doom.
Down that dark passage some do go.
Am I brave enough to follow?
Would I be able to make it back?
Dare not chance it.
Yes, I am strong. And I will go.
The steps I take three or four.
Down the passage I saw before.
I look back. Go back! My fear yells.
Turning again, on my way down.
Ignoring the perilous end.
Steps more I take.
Though I listen. No sound.
No fear felt? How?
Dark grows the way.
A voice behind me calls!
Fear returns! I turn and run!
To the safety of ....
Back safe. I know the truth.
Better not to go down that passage.
I close the door. Lock it tight.
To never open. But I might.
In some future gale.
Can't help myself.
The door beacons. Calls me in.
I'm drawn. Not wanting in.
I pass by this time.
In me joy begins.
Not to last, fleeting it goes.
Because I know.
The door I will open.
As before.
To peer down the dark passage.
To see the thing I've made.

My feet stick out,
Head and shoulders too,
One arm hides,
Under a sea of blue.

On my back I lay,
At times on the side,
Way too long into day,
From which I hide.

I'm not perfect.
My flaws easily seen.

Things I've made.
Will burn with ease.

Good I've done.
With right pure heart.

Will last for ever.
It will be my start.

It is my part.
I see it now.

Do for others.
I'm learning how.

I'll never be whole.
In this life seen.

In the next life glimpsed.
My soul will be clean.

As I look out my eyes
I see someone else's arms
Someone else's face in the mirror
Like I'm watching a movie

A movie of someone like me
Seeing his life passing by
Watching him go on errands
Fixing meals, doing laundry

I feel his loneliness
I feel better when he talks to others
They encourage him and I want to cry
I can see them worrying about him

Funny is sought by most.
Found from coast to coast.
Thrills, adventures, and games to play.
You can find funny every day.
Jokes, falls, and hits.
Screams, tantrums, and fits.
On tv, videos, or seen.
Funny things are....keen.
To us or others, fun abounds.
Other times their just found.
Some times you make it.
Some times you fake it.
Dog licks a face, happy are we.
Such are the things funny to me.

My chains unknown to me.
Hindered my way.
Held by a force unknown.
I was too young to see.

As I aged, clanking I heard.
Foreign at first.
Yet familiar to me.
Great peril unknown.

Older I grew, links I've made.
Easy it was, without thought.
Seeing vaguely chains anew.
Searching for what I knew not.

Older still, wiser it seemed.
More links I dread!
I made these too!
Dragging me down!

I'll loose these chains!
Not knowing the Way.
Plodding along. As most do.
Seeing my doom all too well.

I'll make things right.
Try as I might,
No end in sight.
Save me oh God!

I HAVE MY CHILD!
IT'S DONE LONG AGO.
I HAVE THE KEY.
A GIFT OF LOVE FOR THEE.

HIS NAME IS JESUS.
HE IS MY SON.
WITH LOVE HE TOOK YOUR CURSE.
WITH LOVE PLEASE TAKE HIS GIFT.

With guilt and shame.
I see my wrong, my weakness.
I see Your Strength, Your Love.
I accept Your Gift from above.

The One, the Most High!
The Lamb, the Lion!
The Sacrifice, the Resurrection!
I shall not dread, my peril erased!

My Freedom Cometh! AMEN.

END

The Doctor will tell you so you can Heal. The blood clots and closes the Wound. It brings Life to build new skin.

Depression has a way of making Us focus on the Bleeding. And not on the Clotting and Closing of the Wound.
So We can focus on our new Life.

You have a list though not long.
Of things you seek in a loved one.
They are all for nought.
Fleeting soon gone.
Your list sees only outward coverings.
Not one thought of inner things.
Wealth, looks, clothes. Dressings.
Things soon gone.
You've already broken my heart.
Without even a first kiss.
My inner worth not saught by you.
Not one word about who I am.
How can a woman be so shallow?
Will you find one to fit your list?
Will he be like you?
Seeing only you from the outside.
Never pearsing your inner soul.

Oh to be loved like that.
To have a woman love me
with that intensity.
For her to surrender her heart to me.
To have her fragile heart in my hands,
to protect it and cherish it.
Oh to be loved like that.

To watch her peer into my soul,
to touch my heart and life like that.
To have her see the good in me,
To have her see my many flaws,
Yet she chooses my life to share.
Oh to be loved like that.

My arms around her,
a woman resting silently, peacefully.
Her knowing I'm here,
watching over her.
Her every breathe,
the smell of her hair,
the shape of her lips, nose, shoulders.....where does it end?
Oh to be loved like that.

Can I peer into her soul?
To love her with that same intensity?
To see her good?
To see her flaws?
To surrender my heart like that?
Oh to love a woman like that?

END.

Has her love fadded so much?
To far off, hard to recognize.
I see love still. Urging me near.
She steps away. Does not draw close.
There is no admiration in her eyes.
Out of focus, view too narrow.
Her eyes are blind to me.

Others have done better.
Of which I'm sad.
Others have done worse.
Should I be glad?

It's mine, or at least I think so.
I was the first to mix the mix.
Some think the mix too soft,
Way to sweet.

The first is sweet from high up.
Second is the sweetest of the hard.
It might need a third mix.
Or at least I think so.

It has a bite, as most do.
But somehow it works.
Some are intrigued.
Or at least I think so.

No name for it yet.
All tries too low.
Or not "just right".
That's all I know.

Try one sip, let the mix in.
Let it go down slow.
Does it need one more mix?
I'll bet you think so.

We lie to ourselves, we justify much.
We wine, we scream and complain.
We're human after all, did you such?
What does it get us? We all distain.

Not another day richer,
No closer to freinds.
Family lost, so much deeper.
How long to pretend?

How to do better?
We need to ask.
How to break the tether?
Not to use a mask.

With love in our hearts.
Helping one or two.
Is where it starts.
Away goes the blue.

Stop the sobs and wining.
You can do it too.
Bright and shining.
Our lives will renew.

Earthy smell
Kicking for life
Gaging wretch of a man
Crushed under the weight
Got to pay for it
Burning embers of life
Putrid thoughts
Still fighting
Never give up
Holding my nose
Choosing love
Looking past it
Seeing light
Fresh air to breathe
Cool breezes raise my spirit
Rivers calm my soul
Rest comes calling

Depression comes on softly,
Yet it's power hits so hard!

Loneliness comes so strong!
But can flee with but a smile.

Resting on my back
Eyes closed to the world
Random thoughts become dreams
Rest, just pure rest
Rest, just to rest
Tired, used up
Horse trodden
Pound to dust
Not seen or heard
Never forgotten

As a child comes bare and blank.
For his own good only to be spanked.
Loved, cared for, and protected.
Mothers first born not rejected.

What are thoughts to think?
Food to eat, milk to drink.
Urges unknown.
Hugs being shown.

Why was I so well blessed.
Yet when I was young molested.
It killed a part of me.
Forever changed whom I'm to be.

I grew, I saw, I learned to be.
So shy, scared, and lonely.
Parents, brothers, sisters too.
Friends, foes, teachers too.

Through School and battle.
I made my travel.
Did things of my own.
Thinking I was grown.

Next came her and I.
Joined as one under a lie.
Gifts came as little ones.
Two daughters and two sons.

Now a turning of the page.
In this life that I've made.
Now that I'm fully grown.
Striking out on my own.

Where have I been?
Air cools, steam rises,
Endless circles returning.
Where am I?
As the rain drops,
Dangerous puddles forming.
Where do I go?
Forward of course, out,
Yet unanswered.
Where will I end?
Sheets of gray unknown,
Moving ghostly along.

Fancy funeral
Stale love
Empty coffins
Chiseled stone

Fancy coffin
Just to be buried
Dead mounuments
Vanity, vanity

Not for the dead
Cryps, tombs
Rites, rituals
Macabre, dank