sit in a window seal, steeling glimpses at your smile
while you face me, living in a day dream
both trying to figure out if this is real

sun shining through the clouds
smiles displayed proud
they always say
home is where your heart is
you know my favorite part is


sit'n in a window seal, steeling glimpses at your gleam
while you face me, bursting at your seams
both sewing fantasy, trying to make new reality
you have me leaving fantasy for my now and happenings



lock and key
for home and safety
between me and your guitar
you are always playing something

finally home. <3

looking back at burning buildings and soot stained air
I see you walking out of the fire
feeling scared,bitter and blistered
even now your blood is still boiling
charcoal walls are all you had to comfort you
you felt burnt.

it was never my intention.
my maze of a life left me confused
but I burned you.
I never meant to hurt you.
still you choke on smokey memories
grit down on ash between lips what forget what smiling feels like

I said sorry….
i will say it again
for the time i left you
for my confusion
I am not sorry for the place you choose to stay
you watched the walls burn
then you watched them crumble and fade
you just stayed

in self pity and furry
you never doused it
you held a fire inside you and let it hollow you out
flames licked at your heart until you only felt pain
then you just stayed.
neutered sorrow and acidic tears
you let the fire eat you alive for years
I hate the bitter you see in everything
I hate that you blame me for bending, breaking
for being so ******* weak.

time folds around warm kisses and freckled skin
stretching and pulling in
you are a timekeeper my friend
you touch my warmest spots and time just stops, existing.
the only thing left is the way you leave me feeling
tapdancing heartbeats and quivering thighs
intake laughter exhaled sighs
fingertips plunge, taking pleasure in what they have done
throbbing heat and buttons undone
you hold on to a pink petal presentation
slowly taste in hesitation
then with a delivered force
a quickening blow
eyes light up and a smile shows
You know what living with no time can mean
you take pleasure in what it does to me
hot pressed pull and pushing
ohh time keeper you know what you are doing
the pleasure you lead me too
has an equal rush in store for you
passion peek, time still speeds
I have you on your knees
i feel you close behind me
time freed is so fulfilling, so enlightening
time folds around heated skin
i hardly know what year we are in
we have been together for so long
its hard to see it, we still look so young.

I may be feeling lonely. his touch has lingered and drifted in the wind. I may be feeling lonely but I am doing it for him. He has school and I have work and we work to make things work.. but is it even working. I remember when it was play. when laughing was like breathing and night gave way to day. i am feeling lonely, your hands to far to hold. tonight is kinda chilly, your not here to keep me warm. I count out days until i see that sunbeam face , the rest of time seems wasted. Like life is on hold until your in my hands and i realize its kinda sad. I only have you on the weekends. I count away the days. Binge on your lovely when your close enough to taste. I listen to your voice and all it has to say. I listen but you echo off the empty walls and space.I want to fit into your life,I would make all the room for you. But two lives apiece cant spare the room. Fit into me, into the folds of my hand. You are the most lovely, i just need you to understand. Even in our distance I need to feel you here. I want to wait for you but its hard to do a  half *** job form here. I ride out on my emotions and its becoming so hard. maybe harsh to say... but riding out every missing you is leaving me with scars.You cover me in love, the finest kind there is. But its bliss is lost when its ripped away. I feel like a oceans tide, in love with sandy shore. I feel at home until i'm pulled to far. I only know how to love you right. When did a half *** job become the answer that wasn't easy. I just want to hold you tight.I just want to love you right.I would quit my job and catch the next ride... but there is no room for me in your second life. So i may be feeling lonely. But i am doing it for you. I may be living here but its just because there is no room for two.



* no edit just pure release. This poem is helping to heal my heart and for that I am grateful.

Its been thirteen years since bombs and plains
crafted those walls full of names
names of people that were loved
that fell in towers
smoke filled air and fire fighters
its been thirteen years since bombs and plains
reminded america we are all the same
whispered words of fear
Into every American ear
tears and ash
floating past
our unity in suffrage
its been thirteen years since bombs and plains
since nine eleven really meant something
so here is a I love you
to every person that you knew
who has been condensed
to a name on the list
an i love you to every human
who has ever stood
missing another or digging in ruble
looking for a friend
Here is an I love you
to every one who is missing
The carved out letters in a loved ones name
In suffrage we are all the same
just human

you change like autumn touching the soft of green leaves gold. You taste like sunlight licking at the surface of an alive body of water. Every ray bouncing up to caress the bottoms of clouds. You are among the most lovely of sunsets. Birds in flight try to rival the corners of your mouth…both looking epic as they rise up. Your heartbeat mimics hummingbirds wings, triumphant of the wind. Don't let such a small thing seem less, no less than what that triumph meant in the perspective of the bird who is amongst it’s seemingly endless struggle. You are boundless, like a caterpillar that has found its wings but grounded because you too once walked the earth and felt life's harshness. the only thing calloused about you is your fingertips, whose only thing they pull at are guitar strings, my bangs from my eyes and my heart strings with your name on them.I derive immense pleasure from what you are made from and what you make with an old guitar and two sets of strings. You are something to write home about.I love you.

You peal back his past and and pull it through
sewing his history and his going to be up in a moment
torment and torture, you delight in his pain and his fighting
delighting in the life you are tainting, destroying
watching him straining,he is trying to forget what remaining
and I am stuck painting
sketching
reworking
searching
He wants to forget you,He wants to forget your mean, your mad, the things you stole and the things you have.
He wants to forget your mean and your mad... and all the things you once had.
He wants to forget you.
erase your face from the storybook life we have now
you refuse to let absence in, showing up in the dark
throwing bricks
steeling things from his yard
he is too nice, he is too hurt
I love him more and more and I feel this burn
burn your house
burn your yard
steel your cat
and fuel this urge
burn your mean
burn your fire
burn that look
that old desire
burn that smile that's backed with hate
fight that feeling that turns me irate
sit back down
I refuse
to do anything
that makes me feel like you
Hating what hurts what I love most
Burning hot
cheers lets toast
toast to being more
the high road is hard, I am feeling chard
I remember what matters most
I have him in my heart, he has me and his
when he says my name he does not cringe
He loves me.