I am not much of a poet, and it takes a whole lot of poet to write a love poem
Sappy and happy never read as well as blood, sweet, and tears
And years of turmoil has always aid me
But lately, I’v been hastily and systematically fathoming how to make words fit
Like our bodies do at sundown, when we are the only light inside a dark room
Just beaming at one another, why bother… cheesy isn’t easy .. but I try
I try to find the powerful words that will describe the electricity that pulsates from us
We are the biggest power source around, if only I found the words to say it right
I am not much of a poet, and it takes a whole lot of poet to write a real love poem
But if I tried to write a love poem, it would be about you
About how your smile is a sun rise after endless nights
About how I only know your strength because you pull me in close
Like I weigh nothing and my baggage is just a carry on, nothing that can’t be handled
Never pushing me away or hurting, your strength is seen in your gentleness
I would explain how you make stretch marks feel like beauty marks
How you make sun kisses feel cool, how you make heartbeats in to drums, how you make a guitar sing, and your voice vibrates and rolls something between honey and heaven.
I would write about how you have endless energy and ambition
Charisma and endless potential that grabs at every opening door
I would write about how you grow friendships and flowers like they are one in the same
And how you love and invest in both
How you read like a scholar and chase after things only brave men chase after
I am not much of a poet but if I were I would paint in words for you the most vibrant expressions
Of lust and love and tinder kindness
Lay down words like bricks to build you up
Show how you are the one I searched and found worth finding
How we light up, show how exciting…..
Im not a love poet, not much of a poet at all…
But either way you are worth the fall, you deserve a love poem.

This year was a finance *** kicking.. Meaning money kicked me in the face. No , meaning that I have no money it all ran away with the feet it kicked me in the face with.
This year was a group of peers closer then I have been with in years, a quest to find my spiritual side and a sixty year old man who forgot he already found love.
This year drained the world of color tell I was left in black… it made me angry so I spit and color bit me back.
This year was every color in every tent and every shade, this year so fast it moved in a blurred haze. This year, was the best vacation trip and friends endless fun, this year was sunburn in summers heated hum
This year was a heated fling, many quiet moments that I held my breath and hoped for the best… countless reasons that show me the universe knows best. I trust in it, intuition always says.
This year I quit a job, this year I got promotions and endless “glad to have you back”. This year was good bye tear streaked cheeks… goodbye pat on backs.  Time to pack some bags
This year I was an artist, this year I couch surfed. This year I restored relationships, this year I learned about me, this year I have someone I want to spend New Year’s with, and he wants to spend it here with me. This year I am 20 and this year I am me. This year was a struggle but a beauty its turn to be.his years summer was ****, sweet, so hot. This year’s winter was cold, but had all warm opened arms. This year was 365 days of life not just living. This year was remember able, this one was for the books.
this year was loss, this year was cancer, this year was family and me chasing after smiles.
this year I was a big sister, this year I was a friend this year I was a lot of things including broken, including whole. This year I learned how to play break down on the guitar. I wrote poetry, I created art.
I cried with my sister inside my enclosed arms. This year I got my sister a job. This year I helped people, this year I accepted help. This was a million moments worth living…
So glad it was me form end to the beginning. This year…. Was ya, this year. How was yours?

It’s not falling in love, just know I’m falling.
That moment that you feel the rush of falling before your feet actually leave cliffs edge
Your heart pounding, alarms sounding
As alive and awake in that moment
As the ones ahead where you are actually flailing
Where you have already made the decition
And waters on its way to meeting you
There has to be a word for that
Whats the word for that?

The moment you see the roller coaster climbing
And your heart’s reacting to the drop
Like you have already been dropped
What is the word for that?

Writing words…. There are no word… ill find words for that.
Because deep inside of me I can already anticipate me falling
And I am reacting before its even happened
Like a moment where you are a passenger in a car
were you can’t see out the window
But scared silence lets you know that those who can
Have  already braced themselves for impact
Unable to see the car outside t- bone the one you are inside means nothing
The fear gathered from others ****** expressions is real
You are real
There are words for that.
Real
Really falling.

He is that high, dazed and alive
When you spend hours stealing
Glimpses at the stars
Like keys wrapped around a promise
To free you from these bars
Limitations placed so certainly
On top of you on top of me
I seek my way out
Like a star gazer seeks understanding
I’m planning on playing my hand just right
Putting you next to me
King of hearts at my side
Or maybe you are a joker,
Either way put on your poker face
We have life and space, set no pace
Like untimed steps under
A fall to far

Sing to me a jazzy song
From a time that’s far,
Dance with me
Dance along, move your feet
Make no promise you can’t keep
Just feel it
It’s like freedom but on fire
Like trust without certainty
Acrobat without a wire
Like letting go
A grand release
Like fearlessness
A found voice to speak
Passions pushed blood to cheek
Blushing past shades of pink
Pull you in, close to me
Fearless in you and me
Just fearless

Collecting scraps of withered old papers and photo strips
Like I collect memories
Scattered and out of chronological order
No time line to seamlessly tell a story
Only a room full of windows to look through
And uncover one at a time.
Blending my mind like I would a smoothie
Smoothly un-fold papers with scrolled hand writing
Press seems that have been the seems that stitched up broken parts
Of hearts, headaches and lonely nights
My past sewed up and patched, the hurting parts
I confess this to you as a photo strip prints
To mark another memory, a direct portal to the magnificent night
I look for the Minnie golf score sheet, but it hides
You seem to notice it more than a score sheet to me, but you just smile.
A day goes by and this portal is already fit amongst a mountain
Infinite number of patches to fix up the broken parts of life
Whatever hurt lingers, in persistence to last
I am surly equipped, look at the patches I have
2 days go by and I find a note on a green paper
Individuality printed on a score sheet
Each letter from a hand I had wish to hold
Telling me of beauty and a fun night out
Scores scribbled underneath
I tuck it away; it is the most beautiful patch
The most colorful and inspiring
A window so darling
I wonder what hurt this patch could not fix
And smile because it is his

I start to answer her question,
She seems taken aback.
I rattle off my list.
“Witty comments,
An easy found laughter…
I like competitiveness
That’s wraps itself around playfulness,
Like I want to wrap myself around
His big found epiphanies.
Symphony of intellectual connecting’s and
Good intuition.
A quick reaction time, helping you step away
Before **** has had time to hit the fan.
Eagerness to help other human beings…
Taking advantages of opportunities instead of people
Charisma that is unselfish in its tendency to be noticed.
Awareness of one’s self.
a knack for insightful observing.”
These a list of things I find attractive
But yes he also has a nice jaw line
It traces lovely underneath a finger tip
But it’s a faraway line on a map
That has eloquently plotted out his most beautiful parts
It’s faded and dim in comparison to the additional obvious existing’s
It is so far from those parts of him I find to be most beautiful
That I hardly understand how out of all of it
That was the only thing you really responded to.
The only part of the map you related enough to
To point to and say I have been there.

You exist to me like wind to everyone else. I can feel your overwhelming presence, but its hard to show other people you are there. You give me goose bumps that leave the only physical trail to your existence. The small black letters on a lite up computer screen is the only thing hinting at a reality where your windows can be seen through. Giving hope for a day I can see into your eyes and read into your words in a whole new depth. Giving hope of a day I reach out and grab you like a question mark at the end of my never ending list of questions, and hold you in my hands. See what you look like, hear what you sound like, feel what you feel like, listen to what you say and understand you to be more something like an explanation point then you ever where a question mark. You are just one shipped off and sent letter, whose words don’t fall short but leave me hanging on whatever the next p.s. has to say.  This is not a love note or a confessional piece; this is a means of exploration. This is me seeing every individual on the planet as a separate world amongst the universe, some more worthy of exploration then others, and seeking you to calm the wanderlust inside of me. This is a proclaiming of my undying interest in exploring your world and getting to know you. This is an attempt to explain to another colorful person that for me, getting lost in this world isn’t half as appealing as getting lost in someone else’s.  I am in a place in my life filled with so much potential, especially in relationships with other people. I find myself trying to create stronger relationships instead of more, but you still seem to feel like something pressing. Like something I should invest in. Maybe it’s because you play with words like I shape in clay. Maybe it’s because your expansive vocabulary draws me in. Perhaps it is that you seem to have priorities that make since to me, maybe it is because you give exquisite advice and have become a reminder to me of how to be positive in the face of ugly. Maybe it’s because when I talk to you I don’t have to use smaller words, I don’t have to talk about things I don’t find important and the only time we talked about the weather was when it snowed so much that it brought you to a place of bliss and wonderland. Maybe, maybe it’s just a feeling. But I have found when I am honest about my feelings; I live a much happier life. So hear is a one way ticket into my head. Hear is one guided trip into one way I see the world and people around me. This is my request to read every word you wish to write.
Sincerely, tink