The echoes have faded
Silence has taken its place
There's words left unsaid between us.
Between the ground I walk on and the earth in which you lay
It's chaos in my head
Where's home when you need it the most?
Surrounding myself in thoughts of you
Because your arms no longer hold me
And I'm so homesick.
Your heartbeat has stopped
The world has lost its color
And the invisible string around my finger is broken
I made a home out of a human.
A mistake I cannot repeat
Only because time continues to move forward without question
And it won't allow me to go back
To fix my mistake.
To save us from what became something else
But I know that wouldn't do anything.
I still would've done the same thing
The only thing I wish
Was that it wasn't you
It was me.

I was once in love,
With the idea of being in love.
A beautiful thing to any soul,
And then hatred took over my bones.

The idea of love is something
I cannot speak of.
But here I sit saying words that do not grasp.

The way your eyes stare into mine,
How our conversations collide into a beautiful mess of laughter,
Or the way you say my name and I lose all the air in my chest.
Ways I cannot even comprehend in what you do to me.

The idea of being in love is something I cannot speak.
But I have loved before,
In the belief I could never love again.

Then came you.

What happened?
To the words
You would eloquently put together
Piece by piece,
I thought you were like magic.
Painting a picture
With words that seemed so promising,
Of a future we would share together.
When did you stop painting?
Just one sentence
And you had put a spell on me;
To put my crying heart to sleep
Without my acknowledgement
I fell
And chased the white rabbit
Down the spectacular rabbit hole.
Listening to your words
Creating an exquisite painting
That I can no longer find.
I think I thought you were magic
Because you've disappeared on me.

You were a chaotic disaster, meant to destroy everything in sight.
Warnings I was told just out of spite,
Curious to wander into unexplored places.
You were like wonderland, and I
Didn't have a map.
But I dived into the adventure, only to find.
That you were a horribly beautiful truth, all while I was living a lie.

You have built me up,
Brick by brick.
Than I watched these walls grow
Far above the line of my sight.
Only to lock me
Inside the cage.
I watched you walk away.
Now I'm stuck and I'm evolving
But I yearn for the feel if the wind
Flowing through my feathers.
You stole a piece of me,
And I've grown tired of this cage.
Never has fear felt so friendly.
As I tore down your walls
Found the key to my cage.
I opened my wings and fell.
But that ground just brought back the life in me.
My soul has never flown on its own.
You loved me to ruins
Now I shall rise from the ashes.

There's always been a difference
Between the way you act and the words you say.
I never caught on to your mindless little games.
While you pulled my strings
I was happy because at least you were playing with me.
All those words that I hope to one day believe that you meant.
But you actions told a different story
I'd saved you all the while you killed me.
Tenderly
Slowly
Beautifully.
Just how love was always described to me.
Until I was left in a corner watching you pull another girls strings blindly.
That was when you porcelain doll lost her first piece.
I let you back in
And like the fool I was I fell even more quickly forgetting that you weren't going to be there to catch me.
Just like how you always said you would be.
You left
Leaving me to shatter
In a million little pieces.
It took so many months that it felt like years to be over you.
Yet there's a part of me I can't get back
Because I gave it to you
Hoping you'd give one back.

Where do the unanswered questions lie?
Buried deep inside our minds do they hide?
Do they haunt us with endless curiosity?
The questions that haven't been asked because we're trembling at the thought of what the answer may be.
Searching for something that could  give us a reason as to why we're here, but what if we're only here so we'll never know why we were placed here?
We've created so many things with only our bare hands.
We've destroyed entire cities with our bare hands in less then a day.
We've only began to reconstruct our creations and repeat the cycle of these ways.
Creation, destruction, and reconstruction.
When can we realize the errors of our ways?
If only we could stop and try to find an answer.
Among all these unanswered questions.

The stars
Aligned
Our fates
Intertwined
Hold me
Close
As the whispers
Become deafening
I’m falling
Down a rabbit hole
Catch me
I can break
In the end
Tell me it will all be ‘Okay.’
Oh dear
Hold me close
Under the moonlight
A silent mystery
No one will
Bother to answer
Contain the silence
I no longer
Hear the screams
Please dear
Catch me
I’m falling
Slowly
Oh dear
I’m falling
Down into
A rabbit hole.

Even if the world comes crashing down
I'll still be holding you from here on out;
Just as the stars collapse to the earth
I promise I won't let go.
Not even if death were to part me
I'd still be holding your hand ever so tightly.
Because cold hands can only ever belong to a warm heart.

Between a million words,
Twenty-six letters in the Alphabet
There isn't anything that could truly come to comprehend our story.
Where it all begins
Or where it all ends.
How can I never the find the right words to tell you everything.
How come you always say so little but it always seems to be so much more to me.
There's no conflicts but our disagreements on something meaningless.
There's more to us then what it seems.
If only I could tell this story in such a way
That there'd be no words left unsaid.

This heart that once always slept
Is starting to beat.
It's racing and aching,
I've added stones and stones around it everyday just to keep it safe.
But you somehow managed to break through.
Now as it flutters ever so violently as though it's magic.
You've stolen what was rightfully once mine.
Now my old heart is yours to hold.
I have faith you won't break it.
Just like I won't break yours.
I've stolen your heart and I hope you don't mind but you stole mine.
So I'm only returning the favor, and I believe we can rebuild these walls.
To create ourselves a home.
A place for just you and me.

What happened to you?
This little girl that held her hand high with the answer dancing off her fingertips.
Who gave a hug to strangers because she believed that it was the cure to sadness.
How did you end up so empty?
You had someone walk away from you,
Raised your voice but felt like no one was listening,
Were promised the world only to get nothing,
You were made of gold;
But who turned you to stone?

If you can't leave my mind
I suppose you're meant to stay
Help me figure out this puzzle
Compose these thoughts
In order to design something
So grand
And rewrite the words I have always wanted to say.

The ones that could never find the right ways
So with all of my heart
And the rest of my sanity
Try to take my breath away
Only for me to say
The words that will take all the pain
Away.

Maybe I will.
Finally be able to poor my heart into my words
To keep you in my thoughts
Hold you safe in my heart
So you can steal my breath away.
With the words that will make you stay.

How far can I fall?
This distance that lies between us.
Fades when I just see you
In my dreams.
Where I can be free to dream a dream
Where we fall in love and our lives move together in a beautiful harmony.
The moon breathes a melody and the stars sing a beautiful tune in harmony.
I believe it was created to be for you and me.
How far can you be?
If I see you everyday
This distance isn't physical, it's emotional.
You could talk for hours,
We could do nothing
All day.
I'd never be bored and I hope you wouldn't either.
This isn't something I can ignore.
I'm falling and I'm only hoping.
You can catch me.

Cracks in the streets that I roam.
The snow has covered the land in a blanket but I only see red.
Red the color of the jacket you wore because you hated coats, red the color of your cheeks and nose when we'd stay outside too long, red the color of the fire when we'd stay at home.
Red the color of your blood staining the snow.
A memory I cannot escape;
Blue the color of your gloves, blue the color of the morning sky, blue the color of our hot chocolate mugs.
Blue the color of your lips.
The ones I can no longer kiss;
White like the stars in the night sky,
White of the marshmallows in our drinks,
White like how the snowflakes fell.
White the color of your skin when I found you;
These streets with cars flying by as though time could never catch up.
How I yearn to run away but something keeps me here.
I've searched every corner of the place we called home.
Upturned every stone, every paper, and even the one place I'd never wanted to see you be.
Case closed, a ****** in the winter that no one could ever solve.
There's a missing piece and I don't think I can leave until I know that you rest in peace.
But for now it's winter, and I can't stop seeing red in the snow.
Smashed in my car window,
Threw out the stereo,
And as the bitter wind kisses my cheek.
I've slipped, and caught myself before but this time.
I can't get up for all I see is red, and I can taste the blood filling my lungs.
Here in this snow.
Where winter will never be the same.

The tears on her cheeks
From the laughter spilling through her mouth.
At a corny joke her friends made
Would've gained the attention of him from a world away.

The laugh she had made him smile and wish it was to him he was laughing and smiling with.
The joyful tears rolling down her face made her eyes fill with a rainbow of colors,
And a sparkle that no star could ever compare.

If only he could make her realize that he wanted to be the sky that could paint the rainbow in her eyes.

Holding a pencil in the belief it is a pen.
I cannot go back and right my wrongs; for I'm writing as though it were ink.
These words that bleed through me they're intricate to put to paper.
Just let it go you'll tell me, but it's not so simple.
There's a piece of me here and there.
Then there's a story I can't leave unfinished.
Words that flow through me become jumbled, and I'll lose my sanity trying to figure it out.
So here I am putting my thoughts to paper.
Writing in a pencil I believe to be a pen.
Where hopefully these words aren't as intricate as they'd seemed to be.

So this is for the people out there;
No matter who you are, what you believe in, what race you are; we've all heard this and if you haven't then here's what I'm about to say. I mean every word of this.

You are capable of anything. If you don't like something, change it. If you still don't like it change it again, and again. As many times as you like. No matter what you're human and we make mistakes. I promise you this that no matter what you think of yourself, you are more then that. You are the most amazing person. You are beautiful or handsome and anyone would be lucky to know you.
You have something to offer for this world and it will change it. So go for it. Be who you are because nobody else is ever going to be able to compare to you. So please I'm asking anyone who is looking for a reason to be alive right now. This is it. You're not alone and maybe nobody will understand the stuff you're going through perfectly but we try. So I'll try not to be the cliché here but if you ever need someone to reach out to message me or talk to someone you can trust, because as scary as it sounds it will help.

The whisper of words
Across the distance of skylines
Are leaving you breathless.

Why do we have our head in the clouds only to leave our feet on the ground?
If we're to explore I want the adventure wholeheartedly.
Not a five minute trip to the grocery store.

We can't afford to lose what we already have.
But I have been left with nothing,
And yet I'm not content.
You speak with confidence that I have the best gift,
Because I will never know the feeling of loss or sorrow.

Yet all I feel is that I want to walk among the clouds and leave my head on the ground.
No more voices telling me lies,
No more judgement for who I've become.

The whisper of your words
Across the distance of skylines
Are leaving me in an echo
Of what I once was.

Death and I have never been friends,
Nor have we been foes.
The look in its eyes does not show of terror,
But of pain and sorrow.
He has grown tired of the countless wars,
The agony of taking children before they're time.
Life has shown him so much beauty that he cannot touch.
For it will wither beneath his rough touch,
But he will watch it blossom from her hands.
The astounding white rose before it was soaked in blood,
If only he could smooth away the thorns that have pricked such caring hands.
Death is tired of being feared,
He wishes not to take your loved ones.
He wishes not to hurt you,
He wishes for a way to explain that this was not his choice.
It simply had to be this way.
Souls are meant to be reborn, and some aren't meant to return.
The eyes of Life have only hurt him worse,
For Death cannot love but little does this remain true.
But when he sees the creations that Life has made he cannot help but fall for her over and over again.
So maybe Death is not a friend nor is he foe.
Death is just my misunderstood acquaintance.

How many pieces does it take to create a soul?
There's no such thing as truth
Only perspectives.
But what were to happen if a piece would be to go missing?
Could we proclaim ourselves whole?
I will love you for all your pieces.
Try to fix you
Rid you of sin.
All the words ever heard through day out and day in.
The world is a beautifully wretched place filled with broken dolls and shattered hearts.
Corroded minds and fragile bones.
I will love you.
I will love you
I will love you.
Not for who I am but for who you wish me to be.
So let me correct you in order to save myself.
I will love you to ruins.

One day.
The stars will fall,
They will collide.
The sun will set,
And the moon will fall.
Everything will become silent.
My mind will wander,
To distant dreams,
And my nightmares will perish.
Death will no longer be an obligation.
Living won't be a choice.
A free spirit,
My eyes will be open,
And I won't be vulnerable
To these demons.
The clouds will be beneath me
And I will be free.
I will be infinite;

Lay here in this damp grass and gaze towards the stars.
Across the heavens, and beyond the dark matter that holds a incongruous feeling.

Throughout these bones, in the crevices of our broken souls.
There's a moment of singularity.
When it's not today or tomorrow, but a crack in this alluring earth.

We lie between the past and the future but it's no longer the present.
Stars that fall to the earth, and the moon is kissing them goodbye.

Gaze at these stories written among the sky, and realize.
That within these beautiful bones, is a fire blazing inside me.

Melting my bones and fading to the sky.
Where I only hope you'll see me in this moment of singularity.

Under these street lights.
Along the sidewalks.
There was a shadow
Of you.

On the bench where we'd talk
And watch the world pass us by.
Rain, Snow, or blue gray skies we'd stay.
With each other till the sun would rise.

During the nights we'd smile.
The quiet streets open for us to move along.
There wasn't words for the way we'd be.

For you were the beautiful sky and I guess I'm chasing the horizon.
How can I keep these feelings bottled within me?

Tonight I walk to our bench.
The shadow of you is fooling me.
The street lights are fading, and I'm remembering.

That there's no longer a bench,
This is no longer just a street.
It's a graveyard;

Yearning for something more.
A life so small,
In a world filled with beautiful people.
Changing constantly,
Leaving little old I behind.
Stricken with uncertainty that maybe;
The world is not ready for my old soul,
Who's trying to find answers in a place full of questions.
Could I start with you?
Please hear me out when I tell you a name;
That is no longer my own.

The moment when the sun is just barely kissing the horizon,
And the stars are saying their final goodbyes.
As nightmares fade to dreams.
And I'm here with you on this rooftop.
With your forehead against mine, hands intertwined, and with closed eyes.
No words to say.
Our gentle caresses and our fractured hearts slowly start to mend.
We become intoxicated on each other's presence.
The last moment of the stars,
And the Suns Ray beaming down on us.
We open our eyes and time stands still.
I see you for the what feels like the first time.
My heart skips a beat and I know that you finally see me.

Laying in the grass I saw her.
In the dead of night in the middle of nowhere.
I found her. Holding out her hand as though she was reaching for something.

The night sky above us dazzling with the stars of the vast Galaxy.
What was she reaching for?
How long had she been alone?

When I asked her the only reply was this, "If I hold my hand out long enough I'll grasp the stars and return home. Where I'll never be alone."

And in that moment I'd never realized the beauty of the never ending sky.

This has been rewritten,
And rewritten,
And rewritten.
So maybe this time I won't have to start with everything but end with nothing.

The page stays blank but explains everything,
Or the page is filled but doesn't explain enough.
I can't seem to find the in between of these two things.

My thoughts will consume me, and I'll find myself writing.
Or my thoughts will overpower me, and I'll end up trapped inside myself.
Though soon enough a piece of paper is wasted.

That never changes.
So as I write this I contemplate it.
Hopefully this one started out with nothing and ended with everything, but even then at least I can still write something.

He holds a gun,
Fully loaded,
She holds pills,
Not a prescription,
He holds a rope,
Hung from the ceiling,
She is plugging her nose,
Never liked water anyway,
He holds a razor,
Newly sharpened,
She holds a knife,
From the kitchen,
They share the same fate.
He’s afraid of the trigger,
She’s afraid of what awaits,
He hates splinters,
She never learned how to swim,
He didn’t want to see the vain,
She never heard a heartbeat,
All afraid,
Where were you?
See… Nobody thinks twice,
“Words can’t hurt me.”
Well it hurt them,
Who are these people?
He’s a straight A student,
She’s the head cheerleader,
He’s the top ****,
She’s Miss America,
He’s the boy that gets beat up at school,
She is a lonely echo in the dark, Nobody thought twice,
Nobody looked back,
Their fate was written,
They all knew each other,
Now they understand… Why some people begged to die.

My bones are yearning for so many things.
Here I lay with eyes open and my heart bounded by chains;
Where do we begin to rearrange the broken pieces?
Try to fix something so far gone or just leave and forget the damage.
Bruised bones and haunted memories, no longer can I look at this blasted ceiling.
The world doesn't stop turning when someone's screaming.
Why do we purposefully chase the hearts we know we'll never win?
Wait for someone to save us when they're busy saving themselves.

We can change the present, the future and the ending.
But I'd like to reserve the right to change past.
I want something illogical, to be free.
For why not lie on this ground and knowing that as hard as I grasp for the stars.
There will never be a time where I can call the sky mine.
Yet that's all I've ever dreamed.

We have lived a thousand lives,
Ones that we can't recall to begin
Or recall the way they ended.
But I know that no matter the differences between our worlds.
Just know that even if I cannot see you,
Hear you,
Or feel you.
There is a place in my ribcage that holds a place for you.
My heart has built the walls and is waiting for the spark.
To ignite the fire inside me.
When I can feel myself start to stumble on these words.
How when those arms of yours hold me and I can hear your heart beat.
Right next to mine,
Is when I know that I've finally come home.
So if I cannot see the night sky light up with the stars,
Or the moon come to greet the earth.
I'll remember the galaxies between us.
Closing my eyes I'll finally see your smile,
And I'll feel these bones tremble because I only want to return to you.
But I know that when the sun comes to kiss the earth awake that you'll be here.
Where I can never lose you,
In my mind and soul.
Throughout these worlds,
These lives that I've no longer come to recognize or even remember.
I'll know that our souls have collided to create this beautiful place.
That we can call our home.

Sitting on the edge of this cliff.
It's a risk,
But I've always been the gambling type.

My poker face is something no one can mistake.
So when time should end I cannot say.
I've lost the hands of the clock that hold my fate.

I'm letting go.
Nobody is telling me I should stay.

Time is lost,
But never found.

Driving myself insane throughout my mind.
Among the stars.
Where I once felt as though I'd belonged.

Have I lost my place among this vast sky?
I used to just hide,
But it soon became a home.

Do you see me?
I'll rearrange these stars to create a map.
That'll lead you to where I'm truly hiding.

If the darkness is to paint itself on the glistening horizon as the sky turns to all different hues.
Then how come we can't rid ourselves of the skeletons in our closets?
The Angels in our dreams are drowning as the monsters under our beds pull us from our sleep.
When life creates the most extraordinary things, that death will always hold close. We can't create peace, but the impossible is seemingly possible if we were to only try.

I don't think I will ever hear those words enough,
Even though you show it,
I want to hear it every day at the end of the day,
Just so I know that you still love me at the end,
Tell me a wonderful thing,
Make me mad,
Than kiss me and say you were
teasing so I know,
Try to make me cry and when the first tear falls,
Embrace me and kiss away my tears,
Tell me you never want to let me go,
I love you,
But can't stand you,
In the end,
We can't live without one another,
I want tears,
And,
A hand to hold,
A rose to drop,
To hear your heartbeat once more, before you leave,
And when,
You walk out the door,
When,
I'm shaking and crying,
Drop everything on the sidewalk,
And,
Run through that door,
To catch me before I fall to the floor,
Embrace me
Kiss my head,
My cheek,
My neck,
Right there knowing you love me
Say to me,
"I can't do it, I don't want to let you go, I won't let you go."
Take me by the waist and tip my chin up to look you in the eyes,
Press your forehead against mine,
Then kiss my nose,
Then say,
"I don't have to say it you already know."
And,
Give me a gentle kiss,
A kind of kiss where,
It's passionate, yet gentle,
One to drive me crazy,
To the point I won't leave your side,
You use whatever you can against me,
Trying to make me,
Laugh,
Smile,
Blush,
I love you so much it hurts,
I know I don't say it enough dear,
But,
I love you and my heart will wait for you,
To say the four words on one knee,
I hope that's not too far,
But when I say,
"I Do."
To you crying I know you won't have to tell me,
Because I know now I have to tell you,
I love you.

On this porch I feel like reminiscing.
With an old friend about all the times we've shared.
It's a bitter winter night and the clouds on my breath hold a scent so familiar.
All those empty promises, the shared cigarettes that burnt the cement between you and I.
Kisses with nicotine breaths, burning cigarettes between our lips as we played cards.
War would be played for hours on end. Till we realized that there was no cigarette to calm these waves of emotions that overflow within us.
Last year on a night like this we were bundle in a blanket talking about where we'd be a year from then.
Apparently neither of us were close to the truth.
Our last cigarette is still crumbled in the Altoids Ash tray.
I'm here on this porch with an old friend, and you're not here to share this moment with me.
A bottle of ***** and some cigarettes are here to help me forget.
That this old friend is my worse enemy, but I can't seem to shake the feeling that maybe till death do us part is all a lie.
Because in this moment it has never seemed that you and I aren't so far apart if death could only come and take me as well.

In a moment her demons are screaming, and within seconds they'd surrounded her.
Pounding and killing.

In the same room he's watching.
Her break down to the floor but still standing on her own feet.
As he sees her hiding herself from the people around her. He surrounds her.

Within these moments of him crossing the room to her, she's incapable of seeing what's around her.
He pulls her into him.

Within those seconds her demons fall to peace and she holds onto him.
Falling in love with the way her demons play so well with his.

As he holds her gently he hears her mumbling, "Don't let me go this time."

His response had even put hell at peace, "I promise..."

Books on top of books and no one can see.

The lonely girl in the corner losing herself inside her mind.
Or the guy that's watching her while he puts books back on the shelves.

Never speaking a word to each other until one day he ran into her on her way in.

He asked her curiously why she'd always been alone never speaking.
In minuscule voice she said,

"I'm hiding."

Then returned to her spot in the library.
When he returned the next day she wasn't there.
But he found a note in her place.

"Come find me."

Down these hallow halls,
With walls scattered with frames
Full of pictures with shattered glass
All but one.
My feet bruised and ******,
Yet I feel numb to the pain.
So I keep standing in front of this little frame.
The one that causes me overwhelming pain.
Surrounded by memories the picture in this frame,
that tears me apart inside.
It's of you.

When I sat on the piano,
While you played beautifully as I watched you with such curiosity.
How did a person like you end up with a person like me?
Towards the end you promised me that you'd never leave me.
A pinky promise that meant the world to me was captured on film of your promise.

Here I stand feeling the glass under my hand.
Tears spilling down my makeup stained cheeks,
As the one thought consuming me spills from my lips.
'Will you always be a picture on my wall?'
I need you here,
But you can't be with me.

The way you kissed me without warning,
Without my permission,
Stealing my breath.
I never knew these feelings until I met you.
Now I can't be the same person I was before.
Because with you I was the person I'd always wanted to be.
I was me.

I built my walls brick by brick,
Wore a suit of armor only for you to stumble carelessly and rid me of my defenses.
You didn't steal my heart.
You asked for it politely and I trusted it into your care.
Now because of you I can't feel my heartbeat.
I don't exist completely without you
And you promised me.
Now I'm on my own,
But I can't let you go.

Six feet under and your cold hands still hold my heart completely.
I never wanted this, and it came so unexpectedly.
How can you become just a memory?
You lived among these walls in tiny pieces.
Scattered your heart around our house,
And I'm searching to put together the puzzle.
Trying to put your heart back together so you can return to me.

Because I can't let you just become a picture on my wall.
I won't let you become a memory.
You will always be a missing a piece of me;
The one that I need to breathe.

The countless promises that were made between us still stand.
Even if we're no longer us,
I will have a piece of me that belongs,
Only to you.

The oceans that drift us apart,
Are no match to the everlasting love we hold for each other.
So when you're no longer here, I'm still here just like I said I would be.

Just one melody can tell a story, but none compare to the one we've created.
This heartbeats for you; I only assumed you knew that too.

The days grow colder and these promises between us.
They're drifting for you, but they're still important to me.

Such a fool to believe that we would stay in the midst of a divine emotion.
For I loved you, but did you love me?

These promises remain but they're starting to become empty.
Since I'm stuck out at sea; I can hear the sirens calling me.

What if these words are my last?
Would the Raven makes its last cry
As if this is it and nothing more.
There would be no last page
Just an unexpected goodbye
Where our worlds would no longer collide.
What if?
I cannot live without seeing tomorrow knowing you're alive.
Tell me how your day went,
Tell me all the details you never get the chance to explain,
Tell me your thoughts throughout time and time again,
Tell me how you feel,
Please just let me know you.
Let me tell you,
I Love You
My grammar is improper for notice I didn't end that statement with a period.
For one purpose only,
Seemingly because the period is the ending of a sentence or the conclusion of one thing.
My dear understand that my love has no boundary and is endless;
So let me paint a sky with stars that will shine so much brighter with all the questions that start seemingly with,
what if?

I can vision it clearly without the need to see it properly with open eyes. We've been told to go and smell the roses but we aren't even touching the ground of the earth they've bloomed upon. We can barely see the roses and have never touched the pureness of such dainty. As I only see the pure white petals unscathed. The yearn to only grow closer is the fear of the rose to wither away blood stained as the sky will grow dark and all that will be left is to see the imperfections of a rose and its hidden thorns.

The pictures made out of clouds.
During the afternoons in which we lied in the grass,
Pointing towards the sky,
Interpreting an artist who's passed work.
Just like their paintings in the museums.
Forever painted in my memory,
As we pointed towards the darkening sky.

I stomped on an ember from the fire only to realize
I'd made a fire inside my heart.
Hoping you would notice
That for you to fuel me.
And we'd create a flame that would put all of hell to shame.

The night is a monster
I've learned to love so dearly
Only because before then
I could never stay awake to see its beauty
Now I can rest my arms
I can rest my legs
But I can't rest my head
Because there is where it's awake the most
With thoughts swimming through my brain
I've only come to sleep during the times
When I've become numb
And it feels as though I'm all bone
Now I know to just look at the stars
I'll see my past
My future
And I'll think of the present
And I'll finally know that I can slow
Everything down
If I just go to where I belong
In the night sky
Where the stars hold my thoughts
And the moon becomes my soul

There's a story only we know;
Where some words are,
BIG AND BOLD,
ALL WHILE LOUD AND CLEAR.
or tiny and shy,
being quiet that it's almost silent.
It's AlSo raNdoM anD WeirD,
But It FiTS sO peRfeCtly.
The words that are not place properly still make sense.
This is us.
We can be bold and outgoing,
Or can keep to ourselves remaining silent.
There's also the moments of our random weirdness that brings upon the best moments we can never forget.
Where we know the feelings of love,
The feelings of sadness,
Feelings of hate.
Our curiousness in reminiscing of who told this story correctly.
But the simplicity of intricacy is a beauty I've come to admire.
So please retell these stories.
I promise to listen closely.

They say pictures capture a thousand words. But what about a thousand moments?
There's a picture of you and I.
It's my favorite but it only captures a moment. The picture itself is beautiful but how it was taken is what steals my breathe away.
You were trying to make me smile, and I was trying to hide my laughter.
Then you caught me off guard.
Brought me to your arms and held me.
Shaking with laughter you had someone take a picture.
I've never been one for the camera but this wasn't the same.
It wasn't posed, it wasn't framed.
It was real.
Between you and I.
There's no words for this moment out of a thousand.
That takes away my ability to breathe.

Close the windows,
Shut the blinds,
Lock the doors,
Hide it all inside.
Shove it all away to a secret place;

Tune out the world so you don't hear this.
The screaming,
The crying,
The fake laughing,
The slamming of doors,
The hitting on walls.
The stomping of feet down the halls,
Every little thing that shouldn't happen in a home.

Every little detail that isn't what makes a family.
Lies behind these walls.
Trapped inside themselves in their minds.
Can we ever be free?
I only wish to forget all the memories my flesh and blood left me.

Please don't leave.
There's something that's killing and all I need is you.
Just to hold me.

Say what you want but I'm terrified.
There's so much I want to say to you but I panic.
All I need is to talk to you.

To sense your presence.
I want to hide from you at the same time.
These feelings, how easily they show when you're near it scares me.
You scare me in a good way.

Please I'm quivering,
Can I just stay in your arms?
There's so much inside me that hurts.
I have all the pieces together but can you just keep them in place.

My mind is soothed when I'm with you.
The world becomes cleared, the nightmares settles into a dream, everything that kills me.
Dies away when you hold me.

So please can I just stay?
Right here in your arms, where everything feels safe.

Our fingers calloused from the instruments we played.
Our minds running through the constant staffs and scores.
The music pouring out of our souls, and the gathering of us all.

Of the different musicians in different genres and instruments.
It's enough to create a small home where we can all be free.

To play till our fingers bleed,
To sing till we've lost our breathes,
To listen to music all day,
To never have to worry about anything other then when our instruments need tuning.

In this tiny piece of sanctuary can I finally say that the music saved me.