Books on top of books and no one can see.

The lonely girl in the corner losing herself inside her mind.
Or the guy that's watching her while he puts books back on the shelves.

Never speaking a word to each other until one day he ran into her on her way in.

He asked her curiously why she'd always been alone never speaking.
In minuscule voice she said,

"I'm hiding."

Then returned to her spot in the library.
When he returned the next day she wasn't there.
But he found a note in her place.

"Come find me."

Laying in the grass I saw her.
In the dead of night in the middle of nowhere.
I found her. Holding out her hand as though she was reaching for something.

The night sky above us dazzling with the stars of the vast Galaxy.
What was she reaching for?
How long had she been alone?

When I asked her the only reply was this, "If I hold my hand out long enough I'll grasp the stars and return home. Where I'll never be alone."

And in that moment I'd never realized the beauty of the never ending sky.

These rose petals fell away and the sky had turned gray.
Those flowers that held such beauty had lost their meaning.
She built a wall between the garden and herself.
Brick by brick on the edge of everything she's ever known.
She no longer sees the sky or the flowers.
Waiting on unrequited love to break the boundaries.
For these walls to fall, for these fears to disappear, to see the sky waiting beyond the clouds, and to finally persevere the life given to her.
But what waited before her was a door.
Little did she know that everything she wanted lies behind what she built around herself.
That there was no more blood on her roses and there was no darkness in the sky.
Her unrequited love for life was just waiting outside.

Our fingers calloused from the instruments we played.
Our minds running through the constant staffs and scores.
The music pouring out of our souls, and the gathering of us all.

Of the different musicians in different genres and instruments.
It's enough to create a small home where we can all be free.

To play till our fingers bleed,
To sing till we've lost our breathes,
To listen to music all day,
To never have to worry about anything other then when our instruments need tuning.

In this tiny piece of sanctuary can I finally say that the music saved me.

Fall is coming to an end and Winter is coming in.
She's gathering branches from the trees, and all the tiny leaves.
She'll pick them up and carry them home, and when asked why she'll simply say.
"I'm bringing back the warmth from when he left me in the spring."

Hiding, Running, and becoming breathless.

I'll hide at the edge of something that will eventually **** me.
I'll run to the edge of my boundaries only to lose my way.

Soon enough there's no where else to go, and there you are.
Waiting patiently for me.

I've been stumbling around and guarding my heart.
These cage bars that lie inside me, and I don't have the key.

Holding on to something I should've let go with the breeze.
Caught against the tides of the waters that were drowning.

But I was trying to gather all these bits and pieces of you.
So I could keep you with me wherever I roam.

Little did I know that the journey would get so lonely.
Time would move slowly.

Running and running from a past that's haunting me.
I kept running to find someplace safe.

But I always ended up back at the beginning.
To redo everything all over again.

How long you've waited has finally told me.
I should've left everything to be; so I could finally be me.

While you are you; then nothing ever becomes something else.
So now I'm no longer hiding.

I'm running to you at full speed.
Where my past turns to dust, and there's nothing haunting me.

The cage door was opened, and you held the key.
As your arms surround me, I become breathless.

I'd finally found a place to call home in what lies between you and me.

Holding a pencil in the belief it is a pen.
I cannot go back and right my wrongs; for I'm writing as though it were ink.
These words that bleed through me they're intricate to put to paper.
Just let it go you'll tell me, but it's not so simple.
There's a piece of me here and there.
Then there's a story I can't leave unfinished.
Words that flow through me become jumbled, and I'll lose my sanity trying to figure it out.
So here I am putting my thoughts to paper.
Writing in a pencil I believe to be a pen.
Where hopefully these words aren't as intricate as they'd seemed to be.

There's a hole in the story.

When sky and earth would meet everyday, and the moon would stay among the stars.

Just watching the sun slowly fade from its reach.
And just as the moon would meet the sun there was something different.

There wasn't the same beauty as when the sun would meet the earth.
For the moon loved the sun, and the sun loved the earth.

Neither did both know that the stars loved the earth, and the earth loved the stars.

That the stars fell for the earth hoping that one day they'd finally collide, and create a whole new galaxy.

So my dear please tell me.
When will we ever finally meet?

On this bar stool I sit staring down the empty bottle in front of me.
The Jazz music is fading out, and the intoxicated people slurring for another drink is getting old.
If it was a different night, and I wasn't by myself it'd be a different atmosphere completely.
The drunks would be funny, and the music would move my feet.
But it's otherwise tonight, because I'm watching the drops of water fall down the edge of my drink.
I've only had one but it's enough for me to feel tipsy.
To the point you'd be here laughing at me.
Only because you swear I'm the only lightweight you know.
This bar holds so much more then I'd ever realized.
There's fragments of us all around this place.
The girl beside me trying to draw me into a night with her.
In my head it doesn't sound so bad, but I can't say anything.
I'd like to apologize but I'm so focused on the circle of water at the bottom of this bottle.
She'll leave eventually.
As she finally gets annoyed the door opens.
The bar attendant welcomes them, but it's all becoming a fuzzy mess.
There's a touch on my shoulder but it's not the same feeling as it should be.
As I turn to see you. I'd realized how much of a problem I have.
You smile at me but it doesn't meet your eyes.
Those blue translucent eyes that are of so lonely.
They're the color of water, and I'm afraid of drowning in them.
Only because I can't swim.
You sit beside me, and push away my drink and get me something different with a no alcohol.
But you get yourself something intoxicating and tell me that I need to let go of the addiction.
Oh god how those words hit.
Because I'd never realized that it wasn't the drink that intoxicated me.
But it was yourself that did; it was all the memories, all we'd been through together.
So finally I set down your drink, and I get up to walk away.
From this bar stool where all these memories haunted me.

In this tranquil room you ask where I want to start.
You know how this all started but not how it ends.

So I'll begin from there, because if I think of all the moments we shared in reverse.
It no longer hurts.

If I rewind our story you slowly fade out of my head and there's room for someone new.
So when you ask me where I want to start.

Can we start at the beginning of the end?

Play these broken keys, and create a beautiful melody.
That will put the heavens to sleep, and hell at ease.

If broken pianos can still play such a harmonious tune then why are you ripping your music apart.

Note by note,
Staff by staff,
Why?

.

You've created such a masterpiece that I've been trying to put back together.
The music that fills your lungs is stealing my breath.

It's alright though because you deserve it, and while I put back together music.

Note by note,
Staff by staff,
Then did you tell me.

That its not the music that's ripped.
Or the broken piano keys,

But the creator.

This street has been roamed down by I too many times.
Alone or not I've always found myself right back here.
On this street, on this bench.
Just watching you.

You mindlessly staring at the sky.
Drawing, writing, or just watching the lives of us walk by.
You're always there.
Just right across this street.
How curious I've become, how I've wondered if you've seen me.

Could I cross this street and begin something known as friendship?
Yes, but friendships come and go for me.
I want you to stay.

So I'll remain here across this street, on this bench and watch you. Just as normal; while you float away.
Into the space of your mind. Where I would love to know if I'm there,
In your thoughts.
As you are in mine.

I've collected pictures over the years.
Of all my friends I've made here.
I've put them in frames and but them somewhere safe.
Some are hidden away.
Though there's one frame that's empty.
It's for you, but you don't know.

I know we've never spoken but there's a connection across this street.
That brings me here daily to see if you're here too.
But as I wonder about you and stare blindly into space.
Lost in thought do I bother to notice. You see me too.

Inside the darkness.
It's quiet here, it's lonely.

I cannot see the stars,
I cannot fathom where my thoughts are.
Then there's you inside my head.

On this haunting feeling.
I can sense you, and as I'm wandering you're guiding me.

But I must be hearing a ghost because I can't see the end.
Others tell me I've gone mad.

I don't mind because as long as I can sense you and hear you I'll be okay.
So guide me to you.

In the darkness of my mind.

I'm alone at night with only my thoughts. A terrifying and comforting thing. Yet at this time I'm left to wonder if you're asleep as well.

As the stars come out to dance in the night sky while the moon holds a beautiful symphony. Can you hear it?
My whispers between the wind? Asking to dance with you before this night ends. Or how I'd rearrange the stars to get to where you are.

So as the night continues to grow I'm hoping you know. That even though the night is eerie time. It's the thought of you no matter how far.
That never stops to put a smile on my face.

Sitting on the edge of this cliff.
It's a risk,
But I've always been the gambling type.

My poker face is something no one can mistake.
So when time should end I cannot say.
I've lost the hands of the clock that hold my fate.

I'm letting go.
Nobody is telling me I should stay.

Time is lost,
But never found.

Please don't leave.
There's something that's killing and all I need is you.
Just to hold me.

Say what you want but I'm terrified.
There's so much I want to say to you but I panic.
All I need is to talk to you.

To sense your presence.
I want to hide from you at the same time.
These feelings, how easily they show when you're near it scares me.
You scare me in a good way.

Please I'm quivering,
Can I just stay in your arms?
There's so much inside me that hurts.
I have all the pieces together but can you just keep them in place.

My mind is soothed when I'm with you.
The world becomes cleared, the nightmares settles into a dream, everything that kills me.
Dies away when you hold me.

So please can I just stay?
Right here in your arms, where everything feels safe.

Throughout our journey I've come across a thousand different beautiful things.
And than there's a light inside of you. So bright and endearing that none of these beautiful things compare to such a light.
Nothing can hold such elegance. With words that can't comprehend to explain, how you belong in the sun.
Out of all these beautiful sights, you're the one I can say ignited something within me.

The countless promises that were made between us still stand.
Even if we're no longer us,
I will have a piece of me that belongs,
Only to you.

The oceans that drift us apart,
Are no match to the everlasting love we hold for each other.
So when you're no longer here, I'm still here just like I said I would be.

Just one melody can tell a story, but none compare to the one we've created.
This heartbeats for you; I only assumed you knew that too.

The days grow colder and these promises between us.
They're drifting for you, but they're still important to me.

Such a fool to believe that we would stay in the midst of a divine emotion.
For I loved you, but did you love me?

These promises remain but they're starting to become empty.
Since I'm stuck out at sea; I can hear the sirens calling me.

This has been rewritten,
And rewritten,
And rewritten.
So maybe this time I won't have to start with everything but end with nothing.

The page stays blank but explains everything,
Or the page is filled but doesn't explain enough.
I can't seem to find the in between of these two things.

My thoughts will consume me, and I'll find myself writing.
Or my thoughts will overpower me, and I'll end up trapped inside myself.
Though soon enough a piece of paper is wasted.

That never changes.
So as I write this I contemplate it.
Hopefully this one started out with nothing and ended with everything, but even then at least I can still write something.

I've lost it.
My once clear mind is clouding up again.
There's a missing piece where you should be,
But you don't see that.

You can't see how much simpler things are for me when you're near.
So just once more I ask of you.

Hold onto me,
Don't let me go because I can't stand on my own.
I'm breaking down with all these demons inside me.

So hold me closely and they'll fall asleep.
Then once more I can feel at peace again.
In your arms, where I find what I once lost.

Under this dreadfully dark sky.
You called out to me,
and in all your glory. You told me.
"Lets create holes in the sky; where the stars should be."

I used to wonder where the world began.
when maybe I was asking myself the wrong question.
When did my world begin to turn?
There's this tiny infinity inside you, and you've created something inside me.

So under this dreadfully dark sky I had come to realize.
That between you and I;
your abstruse thoughts had calmed the words swimming through mine.
Every last word.

Staring at a blank white ceiling,
A blank white wall.
Nothing drives myself more insane then this.
There's so much potential that lies before me.

Yet no one has touched it in fear of an imperfection because somehow imperfections are ugly?
When were we ever told that?

No why were we ever told that?
These white walls are so plain and simple.
Where's the color?
Where's the expression?
Where's the emotion?

Where's the story waiting to be told on these white ceilings and walls?
This is where I don't understand how graffiti is a disturbance when it's art.

Yes the inappropriate ones I understand, but there's so much more great pieces of art that are labeled as graffiti then the disturbances.

There's nothing wrong with any of these things. The white walls or white ceilings.
Sure perfection is a nice, but so is imperfection.

I guess this all winds down to the corruption of our societies teachings.

I could write for an infinite amount of time, but never would I ever be able to find the right words.

To explain how the earth and the sun collide to create an explosion of colors across the sky, how the moon fell for the sun when it lives among the stars, or how there's a galaxy inside your eyes and there's a fire in my soul, and how we could burn brighter then the sun.

If only I could find the right words; My love.

So this is for the people out there;
No matter who you are, what you believe in, what race you are; we've all heard this and if you haven't then here's what I'm about to say. I mean every word of this.

You are capable of anything. If you don't like something, change it. If you still don't like it change it again, and again. As many times as you like. No matter what you're human and we make mistakes. I promise you this that no matter what you think of yourself, you are more then that. You are the most amazing person. You are beautiful or handsome and anyone would be lucky to know you.
You have something to offer for this world and it will change it. So go for it. Be who you are because nobody else is ever going to be able to compare to you. So please I'm asking anyone who is looking for a reason to be alive right now. This is it. You're not alone and maybe nobody will understand the stuff you're going through perfectly but we try. So I'll try not to be the cliché here but if you ever need someone to reach out to message me or talk to someone you can trust, because as scary as it sounds it will help.

Humans are canvases.
We were born with nothing.
No knowledge of anything.
A blank canvas per see.
We had gained knowledge as we grew and we still continue to.
We hold a pencil and create faint lines in the beginning.
With the more knowledge we obtain; the darker the lines become.
The more mistakes we make; the more the eraser winds down.
We create this beautiful picture,
A story that isn't ever forgotten;
We can make the creation we want.
We make our own decisions.
If we make a mistake it can be fixed, and yeah sometimes they can't be fully erased but that's the best part.
When we've finished the creation there's much more to it then meets the eye.
We know the imperfections and we know the story.
This is where the terrifying part comes in.
Others opinions. They label it, they point out the flaws you never saw, they tear it apart piece by piece, but in the end. Your art will be in a museum and they'll still be working on their creation; but their story will never compare to yours.

As though an unfulfilled moon, the missing piece of her complex puzzle was empty, and all the last resorts are being thrown away. They'll no longer work. The one thing to complete her could also crush her completely, keeping her alive on a tightrope, she couldn't sleep at night for the daydreamer had nightmares in her sleep. Her dreams left to creep in during the day while she was wide awake. His hand held hers tightly as to not let go, his music saved and soothed her but their time was running short for her nightmares were killer. So as he lied next to her broken pieces he'd been trying to fix. He wanted just once more before she crumbled to have one last dance before he could no longer hold the soul he loved most.

I don't think I will ever hear those words enough,
Even though you show it,
I want to hear it every day at the end of the day,
Just so I know that you still love me at the end,
Tell me a wonderful thing,
Make me mad,
Than kiss me and say you were
teasing so I know,
Try to make me cry and when the first tear falls,
Embrace me and kiss away my tears,
Tell me you never want to let me go,
I love you,
But can't stand you,
In the end,
We can't live without one another,
I want tears,
And,
A hand to hold,
A rose to drop,
To hear your heartbeat once more, before you leave,
And when,
You walk out the door,
When,
I'm shaking and crying,
Drop everything on the sidewalk,
And,
Run through that door,
To catch me before I fall to the floor,
Embrace me
Kiss my head,
My cheek,
My neck,
Right there knowing you love me
Say to me,
"I can't do it, I don't want to let you go, I won't let you go."
Take me by the waist and tip my chin up to look you in the eyes,
Press your forehead against mine,
Then kiss my nose,
Then say,
"I don't have to say it you already know."
And,
Give me a gentle kiss,
A kind of kiss where,
It's passionate, yet gentle,
One to drive me crazy,
To the point I won't leave your side,
You use whatever you can against me,
Trying to make me,
Laugh,
Smile,
Blush,
I love you so much it hurts,
I know I don't say it enough dear,
But,
I love you and my heart will wait for you,
To say the four words on one knee,
I hope that's not too far,
But when I say,
"I Do."
To you crying I know you won't have to tell me,
Because I know now I have to tell you,
I love you.

I can vision it clearly without the need to see it properly with open eyes. We've been told to go and smell the roses but we aren't even touching the ground of the earth they've bloomed upon. We can barely see the roses and have never touched the pureness of such dainty. As I only see the pure white petals unscathed. The yearn to only grow closer is the fear of the rose to wither away blood stained as the sky will grow dark and all that will be left is to see the imperfections of a rose and its hidden thorns.

The stars
Aligned
Our fates
Intertwined
Hold me
Close
As the whispers
Become deafening
I’m falling
Down a rabbit hole
Catch me
I can break
In the end
Tell me it will all be ‘Okay.’
Oh dear
Hold me close
Under the moonlight
A silent mystery
No one will
Bother to answer
Contain the silence
I no longer
Hear the screams
Please dear
Catch me
I’m falling
Slowly
Oh dear
I’m falling
Down into
A rabbit hole.

He holds a gun,
Fully loaded,
She holds pills,
Not a prescription,
He holds a rope,
Hung from the ceiling,
She is plugging her nose,
Never liked water anyway,
He holds a razor,
Newly sharpened,
She holds a knife,
From the kitchen,
They share the same fate.
He’s afraid of the trigger,
She’s afraid of what awaits,
He hates splinters,
She never learned how to swim,
He didn’t want to see the vain,
She never heard a heartbeat,
All afraid,
Where were you?
See… Nobody thinks twice,
“Words can’t hurt me.”
Well it hurt them,
Who are these people?
He’s a straight A student,
She’s the head cheerleader,
He’s the top ****,
She’s Miss America,
He’s the boy that gets beat up at school,
She is a lonely echo in the dark, Nobody thought twice,
Nobody looked back,
Their fate was written,
They all knew each other,
Now they understand… Why some people begged to die.

A stolen Echo,
A cry A plead,
Nobody can hear her,
For her screams are Echoes,
Which are stolen from the darkness, Where she lays,
A silent nobody,
Anonymous,
A faded dream,
With a black heart,
Cold as ice she lays,
Nobody heard her pleads,
They echoed far away,
She came so far,
They thought she was in the clear,
.
It was a lie,
So far deep in darkness,
Kind words,
Gentle touches,
All turned to static,
Now she lays buried,
Can you hear her echo's?

Nobody moved,
The world at its stand still,
As the girl who watches,
Her own mother lowered to the ground,
She no longer can remember her face,
All she remembers is what she found, A cold,
Lifeless,
Pale skinned,
Bruised and beaten,
Black and blue,
Red and white,
Were all the colors in the room, Nobody moved than either,
As the first tear falls,
Revenge,
And anger,
Take its toll,
She crumpled to the floor,
Not even a goodbye,
She can no longer make it right,
Can’t turn back the clock,
As much as she wishes,
Time has been forbidden,
Nobody catches her,
The world at its stand still,
She doesn’t want to remember.

It’s as dark as the brightest hue, Nothing gold can stay so the dark, Creeps into view,
And I am haunted with thoughts,
The thoughts are of you,
Your smile,
the smirk,
everything,
It’s all you,
Scattered thoughts and shattered hearts,
Nothing can ever stay,
Because even the brightest hue,
Will fade away,
Like remembering Sunday,
I’ll fall to my knees,
As hell greets me,
I believe that this,
Is as dark as the brightest hue,
But I can’t find you.
You weren’t gold,
You aren’t perfect,
But you’re gone now,
And as I think of you,
You were as dark as the brightest hue,
Hidden in the shadows,
I found you.
Scars on your wrist and legs,
With your suicide date already ahead, I got on my knees,
I begged you to stay,
But you told me,
“I wanted to fly but I was too scared to try.”
I never knew you meant to die.
.
You aren’t the darkest hue,
Or the brightest,
You aren’t the sunrise,
Or the moon in the sky,
You are when the moon,
And the sun fell in love,
With you being the moon and I the sun,
We are as dark as the brightest hue. As you creep into view,
I love you.
More than our darkest hue,
So now I fly,
I’m no longer afraid to try,
And now I know,
Nobody will know I meant to die.

Dear Alice,
The cards have folded, and I have yet to see where all the lines meet. There's this madness inside of me and it's rather troubling you see? Well I guess you don't for you can't think like me.
It's unfair of me to presume you can understand my madness when I can barely grasp it myself. I'll lie to save my friends from catching on but I can't trust no one but me. My dear oh sweet dear Alice there's no one madder than me.

The echoes have faded
Silence has taken its place
There's words left unsaid between us.
Between the ground I walk on and the earth in which you lay
It's chaos in my head
Where's home when you need it the most?
Surrounding myself in thoughts of you
Because your arms no longer hold me
And I'm so homesick.
Your heartbeat has stopped
The world has lost its color
And the invisible string around my finger is broken
I made a home out of a human.
A mistake I cannot repeat
Only because time continues to move forward without question
And it won't allow me to go back
To fix my mistake.
To save us from what became something else
But I know that wouldn't do anything.
I still would've done the same thing
The only thing I wish
Was that it wasn't you
It was me.

The night is a monster
I've learned to love so dearly
Only because before then
I could never stay awake to see its beauty
Now I can rest my arms
I can rest my legs
But I can't rest my head
Because there is where it's awake the most
With thoughts swimming through my brain
I've only come to sleep during the times
When I've become numb
And it feels as though I'm all bone
Now I know to just look at the stars
I'll see my past
My future
And I'll think of the present
And I'll finally know that I can slow
Everything down
If I just go to where I belong
In the night sky
Where the stars hold my thoughts
And the moon becomes my soul

Across a room he played; there were no lyrics. Just chords not formed into a melody.
Across a room she stared out a window reluctant to congregate into conversation with society. Her thoughts screaming over the voices.
Only they thought they'd never become what they'd became. With each day passing by and the crowd growing so little would the chance come.
Across a room someone had just caught his eye. How many times had she'd been there? How many more times would he have to catch her attention... If only he could cross the room and speak.
Across the room from the corner of her eyes was a haze of a shadow. If only she could clear her mind, to see if maybe it's all just a daydream. How many more thoughts would keep her eyes from being clear.
Only would time ever see; to unfold a story of where only a set of strangers could ever meet. In the different views of their beliefs.
Across the room he played. He played, and he played. Hoping to catch her gaze he played the notes to form a melody. Hoping she'd decode the notes, so he wouldn't need to speak.
Across the room where only silence was heard did a new experience peak. A glorious melody she heard. A little out of tune but so perfectly imperfect it was hard to believe.
As they looked into each other's gaze they finally noticed. Something was there but what was being said. Only their souls could tell.
Across the room he looked up at the girl who was beyond his reach. The last chord came close and it was almost the end of the show. His hope was dwindling down to her wishes for an encore.
Across the room she tried once more to clear her mind. The mere shadow isn't what her mind tricks her to believe. She knows the notes and she can see the message in her head, if only she could see.
With the last light growing dull and his fingers growing tired had her vision become clear. He looked across a room so familiar to him one more to find she was no longer there. She gazed at him from the edge of a seat pulled in front of the stage where he sat on the edge.
Across a room so clear she abandoned a corner where she dwelled away from society. His melody so imperfectly perfect could she finally see. He could not speak.
Their eyes had a conversation across a room and the time has passed where they couldn't tell if tomorrow was today or yesterday.
In the front of the room was a couple that even though unlikely was a fatal match. He made melodies in place of words he couldn't speak and she finally spoke the thoughts that were killing.