It was like a gasp of air when I was born
My sister wanted a sister
but when she saw me she didn’t want that baby
Days turned in to month into years
My sister never wanted to play
I tried to make friend
I thought I had some
I guess she was one of my best friend
It was her birthday
I worked ******* a card
She said she wasn’t have a birthday party
But if you look on Instagram
She did
By 6th grade they all had changed
I moved schools
I thought I was going to get a chance to start over
But the kid they didn’t lie the told me the truth
The truth about how I look
The truth about how annoying I am
They torn my apart
By texted message
I would be the one who got in trouble
When they would tell me
if you where skinny and had long hair I would like you
Write notes about me
And laughs
For 4 year I had to deal with that
I work hard to get back to the school where everyone lied  
I thought it was going to be sun shine and rainbows
But when I go back
I thought they would change like I did
But no… no..no
They where worst
Everyday I would come in with a smile
Do my work
But when I talked
One girl said thank God I’m out of it so I don’t need to listen to her
When I went to lunch I would try and try to make a friend
But they would walk away or start saying rude stuff
Or shoving water bottle up they throat and make noise till I left
I would talk to someone one about this he was one of the guys at the lunch table
He said I’m sorry
He said people cared
He said people love you
3 Month go by with out a word from me
I stared text him again
He says sorry I can’t do this anymore
You can’t just do this to me
I have no one
He says his sorry
But I was stupid
So I open up about everything
I shouldn’t have
But I did…
He said ill meet you before class
I was happy for ones
But when I was going to class
One of the teacher grab me
And said let go
I was confuse
But know I now what happened
He told someone something
I started to text
And I see
That he was done with me
He bloke me
I was gasping for air
It was like I was drowning
I couldn’t breath
He was the only friend I had
At the stupid school
My life was ruined by people at school
Everyday I perseverate
Over and over about school
And what I could have done
So I wasn’t the girl called annoying girl
Or the one who lost everything because of her
And that me.

RLC

What she found out
It not what she wanted
But what she need to here
The reasons
They leave
The reason
They stop trying for her
are because they can’t handle
Who she is
What she dose
What she says
They say she push them to far away
That they can’t handle it
So now she know why they leave
It not then
It her
Who ruins what they had
And the thing is as all the people who left her
She left her too

RLC

F
  A
      L
        L
           I
              N
                  G
Down
Down
Down
   then someone comes along
   And try to be The stars in the dark
     Where your lying
     Trying to breathe for air  
And somehow it starts to be the  bright star
Everytime it shined and told you            
everything will be ok
But every time that star gets far and farther away
Till it all dark again and you're just there lying in the darkness again

RLC

Each time
The same thing happened
And now I know what keeps happening
It wasn’t you
It was me
I wish I could go back to make it better
But the pages of the book
Are ruined
And that chapter is done
I wish the story could have kept going
But it couldn't handle what was happening
So it was over before the story was ready to end
The book is close
The story is over

RLC

Him- I love you

The girl -You don’t love me
you love the idea of me

Him- what?

The girl - you know exactly what I mean.

Him- I’m sorry for saying I love you !
But I want to do everything for you
I want to be there for you 24/7
I want to make you happy

The girl - do you understand what I mean ?
You say all this stuff. but you don’t listen to me when I say please stop or I don’t want to do that right now and you start to cry and say fine leave me then do you know how that make me feel?

Him- ok

The girl - you said I love you too soon
Your desperate for a girl but you don’t actually love me. You can’t love who I really am because no one can you don’t know me you don’t know who I am you only knew me for 3 weeks

RLC

Find someone
You where shattered
But they put you back together with glue
And sometimes you wonder if they would be like the others and shatters you till you broke again
But you know this time is different
Because that person  found you at your dark time
And brought the light back into your life
And made you feel like your back to your old self that glue is now all dry so you know your new mirror not dusty or broken just a mirror with a few ruff patch’s .

RLC

Someone told me
to
  stay away
              from you ………
But you
Your the only one who come back
But your lies
Get better each time
I remember it like yesterday
Me asking you if it will alway be a game
And you say
            Alway…….
And then your gone again
It just like a video but you keep replaying
The same  thing
me forgiving you
Letting you in
Then lie Over lies
And then your done
And you have no clue what you did wrong
Then you repeat it


RLC

When will it be over
I want it to stop
But it never dose
I so tired
I just want the days to stop
And it to be over

RLC

those lies
May lay on the side of your bed
But I will alway be one step ahead
As those who don’t see the trutH
I see I know wHo you are
You tell me to look at you
but wHo are you
Are you magic
No
I wish you could just disappear


RLC

You want me to change
I try to
You say try harder
What do you want me to say  
What am I supposed to do
Be this girl
That isn’t broken
That is always happy
Doesn't talk too much
I tried to change
But everytime you tell me
I’m not
Not
The girl you wanted
I gave up
And now I wonder
who am I
What am I
You didn’t want to know
Who I use to be
I gave up on me
And now that girl is gone

RLC

Everything will get better
They say
But those words aren’t true
Because it Dosent get better
It just
Another lie
In my life

RLC

She just  sitting here
Everyday every hours trying to forget
But your still in her  head
She doesn't know what to do to stop the pounding in her head
She can’t stand it.
She wished  you never should up at 6:30 that summer
she wished you picked up the phone at 4am
To know you actually cared.
You didn’t call back to see if she was ok…
But all she wants is that she could forget you
But she know she’ll never will
that what kills her inside

RLC

I spent a day wondering why
I spent  hours crying over you
And why every second feels like
I’m dying a little more inside

I’ll say you were my favorite person
But I was never yours
You said  you would never leave me
But that smirk tells me differently
I could say you helped  me so much
But…

I didn't matter to you anymore
Because that day that  you left me
It felt like I lost myself a little more
But you…
You’re  happy
You’re  free
you’re  fine

RLC

When I hear your voice
Late at night
your  the one thing in the world
That make me want to stay
Because you
Are
My bright place
When I’m in the dark

RLC

I thought you love me
But secret kept us away from each other
One by one you left me
I loved you with everything, but you didn’t
I wasted everything
my heart in a million pieces
Our love is gone
My makeup smudge
I can’t believe you’re gone
All those pills won’t help
My hands are shaking
As you leave my hands
My smile turn upside down
This happiness won’t be the same
Without you, I don’t know what I’ll do
You never love me, and I never knew it
When I see the sun, all I see is the dark cloud
When I see you with her
all I see your happiness
And me I’m getting more pills
And my mascara is running down my face
As my last words say.....
You never love me and you’ll never will

RLC

Your not the first...
Stay and let me explain
It took 16 year to find you
When October came I knew you cared
3 month go by with out a word
Come back everything shattered
They say I need to change
I try
Text by text everything goes wrong
Lost one
Then two
I never knew it would take a second to loss someone
As time goes by wonder what I could have done
Wrote a note
Tell her you love her
Your where happy for once because you finally told someone that
4 year ago I told that to someone who died
And I never said it again
But I said it to you
But I guess everyone you love
leave you
Your not the first

-RLC

Your not the first...
Stay and let me explain
It took 17 year to find you
When Summer  came I knew you cared
Falling off that bridge
Come back everything the same
She says I need space
I try
Text by text everything goes wrong
Lost her
Then its like  fall off that bridge again
I never knew it would take a second to loss someone
As time goes by wonder what I could have done
She tell you she tried so hard to stay
But your the one that was trying so hard to stay
Your where happy when  you with her
Then she gone and then you on the floor again
Holding your self
A couple of years before you meet her
You meet a girl like her
And told her everything and
how much you loved her
But ....I said it to you
And I never said it again
But I guess everyone  you love
leave you
Your not the first
Your the last

-RLC