You are not anymore here,
The months seem like decades.
Feels like it was only yesterday,
Yet seems as if it were so long ago.

Life feels empty without you near,
I smile yet it's as I am playing charades.
I wish it were my decision for you to stay,
Heart feels so cold as if there is snow.

Never will I run low on tears,
Wishing you were not gone I've prayed.
Skies blue some days are now gray,
Slowly yet surely my heartache grows.

I wasn't looking when I found you, I just fell into your arms.
You held onto me so tightly, my broken pieces seemed to mend together.

  I instantly felt safe, no longer did I hear any alarms.
My heart is flying, soaring, I feel light as a feather.


  I am so high on your love, I am on cloud nine.
I want to float up forever, I never want to come down.

  Of all of the treasure there is in the world, you are the greatest find.
I've been searching for you my entire life, and you were right there in town.


  I was crashing when we met, not in a great place.
He had me flinching every second, to him I was just a piece of trash.

  That part of my life was trash, I wish it could be erased.
He tossed my heart away, my heart strings were slashed.


  I ran hard and fast, I wanted to get as far away as I could from him.
It didn't matter where my legs took me, I was not slowing.

I've longed to run for so long, this was not on a whim.
My eyes shut, and my legs ran,
I was not looking where I was going.


  I crashed into you, but it was a comforting fall.
I melted into you, you made me yet again whole.

  With you I feel so much peace, there are no more brawls.
You're the one for me forever, you are the mate for my soul.

Your smile blesses my tired hazel eyes and I leap,
You make me feel like there is hope.
I'm not trying to sound like a creep,
But the way you make me feel, I must boast.

  Your laugh is my favorite sound,
I'm in tuned to you forever.
When I'm listening to you I feel as     I'm floating on a cloud,
I never want to come down, ever.

  Your personality is so infectious,
I feel I can be happy again.
I feel like Gollum; because you are my precious-
I'll fight anyone who tries to steal you; they will never win.

  You make me feel yet again free,
My heart leaps at you.
My love for you is bigger than the sea,
You're the one I didn't see coming; I had no clue.

Dead in a ditch,
Or at least that's what it seems.
My heart needs to be stitched,
For we used to be a team.

It seems there's a rain cloud,
That follows wherever I may be.
My head is screaming, it's so loud,
I only wish that you could see.

All alone, to in a world filled with smiles,
But all I ever seem to do is frown.
I've been alone for a while,
It seems I always let you down.

Water streams, stings my eyes,
Eyes are foggy from tears.
Why does everyone say goodbye,
It's always my greatest fear.

Orbs shiny and glistening,
Cheeks stinging and red.
I want to know you're listening,
For inside, I am dead.

Depression has me in his grip,
Clutching tighter.
I only wish that I could ditch,
The weight of my shoulders, lighter.

I'm wrapped in a blanket of sorrow, my heart was just to borrow.
Water falls stream from weapy orbs, I only hope to still be yours.

Where did we go wrong? Why has your heart from mine gone..
I know that we can mend, unless it was all pretend.



Is it due to never being due? You're not the only one that it makes blue.
Is that really the reason why? We've not concieved but can't we still try?

I'm not a real woman it seems, I wish it were all a dream.


Of all the reasons a couple can fight, over something that should be my right.

Of our love we wanted a token, but it seems my ****** is broken.

And I know it's been unspoken,  but sometimes I wish I was never awokened.


So I sit here, with this sorrowful blanket, hoping we still can make it..

I sit here on the floor
Closed in by the door,
I wonder if you really know
How fast my heart can go,
The sight of you will make me smile
I haven't felt like this for awhile,
The thought of you can make me blush
but you don't realize you're my crush,
I wish you knew how much I care
its why I often stare,
But soon enough if I pray
Ill be lucky enough that you take me away......

We used to be best feiends-
But I don't need you, this is the end.
We were together for years-
You came for me, collected my tears.

I needed you so many days-
You helped me, in harmful ways.
I depended on you, so very much-
Though now you're gone, I'm in such luck.

And though your presence will always be displayed-
Goodbye forever, tiny blade.

Depression came back knocking,
He's lingering at the door.
I try, pretend like I'm not home; wanting so badly to ignore.

He knows I'm there, he's laughing; he tells me I can't hide.
He knows like always, he'll soon be back inside.

He'll push, and push upon the door; knowing it will soon open.
He laughs, laughs knowing; he is a lethal weapon.

I try, try to stop him; the door is bolted shut.
He laughs, laughs knowing; the door is thin enough to cut.

He found his way inside; like he always, always does.
I cry, cry missing; how things before him was.

And he laughs, laughs knowing; I'll never be completely happy again.

If your love was the rain, my heart would be the flower.

If I don't have you, it will wither away.

Long ago the sun was cold, her heart was caged with wire-
She let her heart loose, for the one that she desired.
He said he wouldn't hurt her, but he was a liar-
See, the sun was like the moon, before her heart caught fire.

I've made so many agreements, none of which I could keep-
I've ruined so many, so I can't sleep.
I told someone I wouldn't harm myself more-
I told them that I'd stop, but that just tore.
I've agreed to that so many times, no longer can I keep track-
For if I had a penny for each, I would have a huge stack.

I told somebody recently, I told them I would try-
Though often, the thoughts do pry.
My skin itches for it, it's hard to say no-
But then I think of him, and the word bursts out like a volcano.
I want to stop for him, and one day I will-
So for him, and him alone; the promise will be fulfilled.

I lay here wide awake; yet sleeping all the same.
I'm paralyzed, I can't move; my eyes remain forward.

I know there's someone in my room; but I can't even see them.
And though the mirror by my bed; I'm facing it, only I see nobody reflected.

Maybe it's due to the flashbacks; my past, it haunts me so.
The memories became paranoia; I know it's all in my head.

I feel them walking toward me; for what reason, I know not.
All I know is they're maybe there, lurking; and I can't move to confirm.

The past is like a predator, I'm the unsuspecting prey.
It lurks in the night, waiting for any happiness to stray.

You run away from it, soon you think you're secure.
But it leaps from night and you'll know, there is no cure.

It leaps with a flashback, and that's how it gets you to crack.
Cause when it leaps, it causes a panic attack.

Once the past stalks once, it always will.
So until you cease to exist, it's a predator still.

I talk about you all the time-
Your ears, they must be ringing.
I just can't get you off my mind-
Cause ****, you're so intriguing.

You even haunt my every dreams-
But hey, I can't complain.
Cause even though this sounds mainstream-
I'm glad that you remain.

I love to make you smile, it's one of my favorite things-
You even try to fight it, but never do succeed.
I don't think you realize, to me how much joy that brings-
Cause on a scale of one to ten, the number way exceeds.

Your voice is more than my favorite song, I could listen forever-
Though I wouldn't want to sing along, cause your voice is so much better.
I think I could stay happy, for as long as we're together-
Cause babe when I'm with you, I feel as light as a feather.

They're very happy people, always smiling and laughing. They make everyone smile, or try to.
Nobody would even know..

They're wearing a mask, it's all fake. They're screaming on the inside, they always cry.
But nobody knows.

The happy them isn't real, it's fake. They watch their fake side from a distance.
They are so detached from life. Nobody can see the real them.
Cause nobody knows.

They don't even look, they don't try to notice the real us. They really believe we're happy.
But they don't even know.

We can't tell anyone, they wouldn't care. They would just say it *****. They would say they're sorry to hear that.
But they don't know.

They don't know how bad it hurts. We reach out from our real selfs and try. But we can't connect, to anyone. They can't see past the mask that we cannot take off.
Cause we told people.

We told someone the truth. Some people know.


But they don't care.

Rain, rain, go away,
I wanted to go outside today.
There's a puddle in my driveway,
I want to jump, in but have to stay.

They call it raining cats and dogs,
But the only animal I hear are frogs.
Thunder roaring through the air,
And all I can do is sit and stare.

The rain ting tings on a tin roof,
All I needed was that proof.
I love the rain, don't get me wrong,
But my heart from it's long gone.

Everything is beautiful and shiny,
But the kid in me is so whiney.
So please, rain, go away,
Let me go outside today.

Your love was like a fly trap, I was the moronic fly.
I knew better than to fall victim, for I knew that I would cry.

I flew around a bit, thinking I might give it a try.
I guess I did fall victim, so for me, this is good bye.

You say, "It's over," like the end of a game.
Heart's breaking, more, but it still looks the same.
I kept going, back to that continuous game.
Not knowing how many hearts that you've chained.
You're locked up, and you can't get away.
It's like a nightmare, that you can never awake from.
You try, so hard, but you can never escape.

I heard this story once, that when an artist dies-
They get to paint the sunset, as a way to say goodbye.
They usually go for colors of orange, though i'm not sure why-
For when they do that it seems, like they didn't even try.

Every now and then, they paint a lilac sky-
Pinks and purples dance about, creating a visual lullaby.
I'll want to watch forever, I'll wish that I could fly-
For if I could i'd touch the clouds, and be so satisfied.

When I was born I had two brothers,
I was the youngest of three.
But soon my mom "adopted" others,
And thus extends the tree.

My brother's friends all all her mom,
And so do mine as well.
They all say that shes the bomb,
And that she's sweet as caramel.

I now have five brothers, and three sisters,
Though only two are real.
Even if they're from other misters,
It couldn't be more ideal.

Long ago there were some tracks,
That ran behind my house.
But then they tore it down and now,
It's just a walking trail.
If you listen close at night,
You'll hear the whistle yell.

You'll think you're hearing things,
You'll think you've gone insane.
But then you'll hear the story of,
And know you're quite alright.
The walking trail is safe,
Unless you go at night.

There used to be a train track,
Which ran behind my house.
I lay in bed at night,
And hear the whistle yell.
You'll think you're crazy though,
Cause there are no train tracks near.

The Lillies bring you peace,
They can even be an animal.

The breath of babies,
The man that's hanging.

Roses are many different colors than just red,
Those colors having different meanings.

Violets can be the color of their name,
They can also be the color blue.

Some flowers are from the sun,
Others are not as bright.

Daisies and Lillies can be in a prarie,
Others don't even sprout from the ground.

My best friend is my favorite flower,
Even though she's not an actual.

Flowers are bright and colorful,
While others can be dull at times.

She is as beautiful as anyone's favorite flower,
Looks wise and personality.

She's almost always bright,
But everyone and thing had their moments.

The moment we meet she had me hooked,
I never knew I was missing anything till I found her.

When people are sick they ate given flowers,
Or even is they just need them.

Good saw we needed some flowers,
But he had a plan.

He gave us each one flower a piece,
He knew just the one would suffice.

He knew we would help the other,
He knew she'd be the perfect flower,  for a damaged one like me.

It starts off so pretty,
So fresh and bright.
It withers away
When not given light.

Some days
In the dark of the night.
It fades away,
Without a fight.

Hold close to your heart,
Don't give it away.
Unless you're sure
It won't wither away.

Your love was like a dull needle,
Mine was the defenseless balloon.
The closer we got,
The more your love would sharpen.

I thought I was safe,
You would never harm me.
But it seemed you couldn't help yourself,
For you were growing sharper.

You are now the needle,
I'm the fragile balloon.
It started to hurt a bit,
A scab here, another wound there.

I thought I would heal fully,
But the more we tried, the more I hurt.
You became the sharpest needle,
And I, the deflated balloon.

The calm water dances around my body as it floats,
I am at peace.
The twinkling freckles of the night sky are known,
And the moon smiles down at me.

The crickets are chirping so loudly,
Singing along with the croaking frogs of spring.
So many beings are making noise,
They are my favorite band.

It's so calm out here,
I feel this is where I should sleep.
For my bed is not nearly as peaceful,
As drifting among the pool at night.

The sun puts on a mask, every morning till night.
She shines so bright it's blinding, but her smile was not quite right.
Nobody seemed to notice, or if they did, they didn't care.
Even if they asked what's wrong, she wouldn't ever share.

The moon of course did notice, he just didn't want to intrude.
He hated how her heart seemed, to have a heavy bruise.
The moon watches over the sun, wondering how to make her okay.
He really hopes that one day, her true smile will stay.

The butterflies are crazy in my tummy.
My throat feels like the desert, cracked and dry.
The words want to explode out of my mouth,
But my brain is scared.

What if they don't feel the same?
I can't handle rejection again, not this close to the last time.
They make me so happy, I can't lose them due to my stupid exploding words.
It's only been months of two soon.

My heart tries to speak again, but my brain has other ideas.
Keep them bottled up, rejection is the fear.
He's smiling so much, but is it fake?
Did he too, wear a mask that was well worn?

Those exploding words again.. I actually typed them out.
My brain was quick to get with the program, and the words were erased.
Not completely though, just from the screen.
See, those exploding words are lingering now, in the back of my throat..

Depression is a stalker, a clingy one at that.
He mainly comes when I'm alone, to remind me that I'm fat.
He always knows where I am, there is no escape.
But happiness shows up at my door, letting me think she's a replace.

A month or so goes on, no sign of depression.
But then he shows up in my room, due to his obsession.
I beg of him to move on, but he refuses to leave.
He talks and talks forever, feeding me more insults to believe.


I'm worthless and I'm stupid, he tells me so himself.
I can't believe not long ago, I didn't hate myself.
He follows me wherever, though only I can see him.
My friends don't even notice, that my tears are at the brim.

Depression is a stalker, but one day i'll be free.
I'll be with happiness, filled with so much glee.
I won't even see him standing there, he'll be so mad.
See, depression can't get to me, because I'll be too glad.

Everything is well and fine, the sun does always shine.
Life is so great, I will not break.
Oh, they probably didn't get my-

No, they just didn't say bye.

Who are you? Don't make me feel blue.

Hello, I am Anxiety; Now of you I take propriety.
They hate you, they're disgusted, the ones you thought you trusted.
They don't wanna talk, away they want to walk.

No, they're busy, they're my friends, that will never end.
They would be there if I cried-

They lied!
They don't care, they were dared.
Whoever can stand you the longest wins, until the very end.

That's not true, when I had the flu..

Part of the dare, it's a mask that they wear.
Open your eyes. let out  sigh.
Realize the truth already, the lies are just steady.

That can't be right-

The sun is too bright. You're blind to it, now sit.

I have to throw this away-

No, stay. They will make fun' lies are the sun.
It's not always shining, it's not really the clouds that are crying.

But what about this trash? I can't be full of bash. Everyone throws trash away too-

Not like you. Witted you are dim, reckon who will win?
Just wait until people leave. They'll laugh, just believe.

You were right, how could I have lost my sight..

That's why i'm here. Don't shed yet a tear.
The sun has blinded you when its actually bright.
Your breathing will now become tight.

I'm glad you tell me when I forget. Please, i'll have one ticket.
I'll stay on the anxiety train, take shelter while it always rains.

Anyone can see my smile, but you see more if you listen a while.
Deep inside, there is a scream, I am just a teen.
You may judge, and say all I want is chocolate and fudge.
You say i'm fat but i'm normal.

Stop being mean, and treat me like a queen.
It may sound like a silent scream, but down inside it's louder.
You see my scars that were cut too far.
You won't have my happiness.
My friends re there for comfort.

This poem may not rhyme, but now is the time.
For me to realize that haters are nothing in my eyes.
You won't have my happiness.
I forbid you to take it from me.

I will smile, longer that a while.
Cause you can't steal my happiness.
If being happy is all I have, that's all I need.
No more people bringing me down, teasing me like a bunch of clowns.

If you try, I will say bye.
Cause you won't have my happiness.

He paints a pretty portrait,
Of a flower in a forest.
Only those who wander see it bloom.

He paints the lilac sunset,
The birds chirping a duet.
Only those who wander hear the tune.

He paints the changing moon,
The different eclipses will make you swoon.
Those who wander float like a balloon.

He paints the world beautiful,
Though it can be crucial.
Those who don't wander see the gloom.

Lost in thought, so many tears I have fought.
I can't fight them any longer, I don't want to be a bother.
I'm not sure why I still care, you ripped my heart with the claws of a bear.
I'm stuck right here with watery eyes, even though I know I should let them dry.
You brought me so much pain, played my heart like one of your little games.
You did this before but somehow its worse.
I've been hurt so many times, it feels like a crime.
You always said you'd never do this again, but you did!
Left me for the same kid twice, that just ain't right.
People think i'm actually happy, but that's just the strong in me.
I told myself i'd never let you hurt me again, but jokes on me, I did.
All these tears I have fought, i'm so lost in thought.

Some say you can't stop love, you feel like a dove-
Flying through the air, not having a care.
But sometimes that dove is shot, and it takes a lot-
To be able to fly without wanting to cry.
When you're broken, keep on hoping-
You will never fall if you always crawl.
When you're broke, and there is no hope-
You feel so lonely, you lost your one and only.

Lost and all alone, nobody would pick up their phones.
I was clean a year, but then came back the tears.
But then there came this guy, no longer did I cry.
He gives me so much hope, now longer can I cope.
He has amazing eyes, they're bluer than the sky.
His heart is full of love, mine would fly like a dove.
He's so understanding, my heart made a forced landing.
He's all I think about, so happily do I shout.
I'm so glad he's mine, so bright my heart does shine.
It's like he's haunted me, he's all I want to see.
He's engraved into my mind, but what if I went blind?
I'd still know his face, never would it erase.
I'd forever love his presence, he's like an antidepressant.
His laugh is the greatest song, I've enjoyed it for so long.
His smile, he doesn't like, but we don't think alike.
His embrace is all I need, never do I want to be freed.