I've lost myself in the woods ---
Again.
But, don't worry, I have a lantern.
The Light is weak, broken, and shaken
against the four walls of
Darkness that claws at me.

There's a voice on my left,
sweet as syrup and smooth as silk,
it says things I've longed to hear.
But, at the same time,
There's a voice on my right,
painful as a potent poison and raw as rigid razors,
it says things I don't want to hear.
But is it the angel that whispers
sweet nothings
or is it the devil?
Should I layer myself like a grain of sand in an oyster
or should I dive, head first, into the cold water?

One of the voices whispers of a path:
A nice one full of warmth and love.
I turn to look, but before I can see,
I'm pulled down this path, struggling to breath
and trying to break away from needy hands.
In the struggle, I've dropped the lantern.
But, that's okay.
It's warm here, I guess.
But, it's becoming too much.
Wait, what's that? My lantern.
Small rays of light fight against claws to find me.
It's harder than I thought, picking the lantern up again ---
and finally seeing again.
This isn't what I was told.
This isn't what I wanted.
There isn't love here, only lies.

And now, another voice whispers to me,
sweet and angelic.
It must be an angel, to be so kind and gentle.
My right shoulder is in pain, a horde of
screaming people, calling me to reality.
But, I've wanted this path for so long,
dreamed of this way before I even knew it.
How can I turn that away when it is teasing at my
fingertips?
Tell me.
Please, I want to know.
Are you the devil in disguise
Or an angel undercover?
If I reach out, will I be burned?

The lantern is gone now, dropped during the struggle.
I think I know where I'm going, but without light,
I'm ignorant.
I will trip in these woods, this I'm sure of.
I've been caught on branches, and cut by thorns.
I've run from wolves, and have been bitted by bears.
I want to find my way.
I want to find the light, in the ever changing world of dark.

You are alone
Hands shoved deep within your pockets
As if you search for the secrets you’ve long since lost.
The winter's hush settles over you with grey sky
And, eyes closed, you let yourself move with
The rushing sounds of the river down below
As the snow begins to pepper the earth in silence.

Open your eyes
Remove your clenched fists from your pockets
Keep walking, this water is no friend to you
And the girl you dream about,
She waits for you far along the shore
In that white dress you've grown to love so much
Don’t you worry she’s cold?

is standing on your toes
with your eyes closed
and your heart open.

I feel.
But it doesn't matter.
It hurts like a burn, it aches like a sore rib, it blisters in the sun.
But it doesn't matter.
Too much tension, too much stress.
Weakness.
It plagues me like a nagging whisper coming from the darkness.
Somewhere.
It bewilders me, it rattles my bones, it will keep me from sleep as sure as the sun will set.
But it doesn't matter.
Abuse, violence, degrading, hating, I just can't take it, I can't sit back and watch.
I feel your pain, I am your tears falling hard to the ground.
They don't make a sound, so no one even notices.
Except me.
I'm right beside you.
Rain, pain, dripping down my neck.
His brutal, insensitive hands hold you still, I just want to break his neck.
You sit there and take it for whatever reason.
I watch with disdain.
I study with an intense gaze.
His eyes lock into mine and, for an instant in time, I envy him, but
Then I take hold of my kind hearted soul.
I reach out to stop him, or even to just comfort her,
And they walk away together.
I watch as they stroll away.
Together.
There is nothing she can do, his will to fight is enduring, overpowering.
She gives in, submissive as always.
Just another scar.
They disappear into the pouring rain,
And there is nothing that I can do.....

Wide, wide, he opens his eyes , takes a deep breath , stands up high. The bars slide smoothly to the side, they wait for him to step out onto the line. He walks, his legs heavy already, dragging along the cold waxed floor. Never felt this sure before, that this is it. The pinnacle of his existence, the ****** before the grand finale, the last beautiful sunset, this moment takes him back. He opens his eyes and there in front of him flies beautiful chirping birds, hovering above a peaceful meadow, green, plentiful life is abundant here, as he turns back to the cabin built by his own hands, she peaks through the door. Oh how this woman he adores. Many nights they lie there on the porch, how fast the time goes, yet the feeling is infinite, passion, throbbing, pulsating, emulating, vibrations trapped in his mind, breath leaves him shocked into bliss, it is this that he will miss. Back into reality, oh the stormy sullen, prison night. Strapped to the chair that which he shall never stand up from, why would he stay here when he could be in the cabin with the woman of his true reality, a desire so strong, no prison nor death can hold.

“ I love you forever”
Now does that sound familiar?
Look me in the eyes and make me feel this way.

“Things aren’t the same”
Now tell me how they’ve changed.
Did you think this was a game?
Thought you could just pull me in, and leave me this way.

Was this all a lie?
Did you ever really love me, or was it some fantasy to just hurt me
How could I tell the truth all this time, and feel this way,
When you mean absolutely nothing you say.

You're making a mistake, someday you will see,
But by then you will have seen the last of me.
I’ll survive, I always do, somehow I knew I wouldn't end up with you.

Now I know what to say, I didn’t realize I could that day.
“Good bye, forever seemed to fly right on by”