I am the sounding of your alarm
and the ringing of your bells

I am worth it, I am divine

I am the current that sweeps you away and the breeze that fills your mind

The sunlight casts a shadow on all of your wrongdoing; you are the most beautiful black sin

Forgive me not for my slumber, wake me not when you find me

Fill me with your benevolence, nurture me on your Earth
The surface is slick and clean, and I am the dirtiest of the sea

Forgive me not for my sins, I will be washed away in the end

I see you while you eat
I see you while you sleep
I will see you in every single one of your dreams

This life is a labyrinth for those of you who wish to be
What a shame it is to believe
I am every little thing you live, I am every little thing you breathe

I will be there when your curtain drops
I will be the only one you see

Round and round on a mary go round
This is just simple child's play
There's only a slight chance that the grass is greener on the other side

When you come around
You are smiling so hard
And joy is manifesting the air around you

Growing up will never seem real
Just like when we were walking through the park the other day and you looked up at me
I saw you ten years ago on that swing set
I remember asking if you wanted to get ice cream with me because it was such a hot day
I was young and didn't know better

Our bills are late and we are scrounging
Living check to check was something you thought you would stop doing after moving out of your mother's house

I remember the first time I took you out to dinner
You refused to let me pay for you
and then when I went to hold your hand you flenched
because the last man that grabbed your hand was your stepfather
and he wasn't doing it to comfort you like I was

Days turned to nights and your tears never seemed to go away
I couldn't stop apologizing and telling you that it was all my fault

I am so sorry that I could not give you more

I remember seeing your face as it went through the window
My knees were stuck under the steering wheel and I couldn't move my neck, but I still saw that iconic glimmer in your eye
Tragedy is beautifully terrifying
Only good will come from this

We seemed to fight through it all, why give it all up now?
We were just starting to find our way out of the labyrinth, and I hadn't smoked one single cigarette in three months

Five months after that I see you and your new lover at the same park we used to take walks in
I am writing this in shambles at 3am in my apartment
I am on my fifth cigarette

We were like peas and carrots, but I was not sweet enough
I was always pushing for us
You never stopped giving up

There is beauty in pessimism just like there is beauty in the sun
The moon is as optimistic as the stars; maybe, just maybe we will see the sun rise

Night time is the worst times to write

My dreams are blocked

Instead I lay, absorbing everything like a camera.

I hear the crickets chirp

Feel the cool trickle of the water pouring from the water spout

I have the inevitable passion to just get up and run

Run from all the past thoughts and memories

Run to a quiet place that is too loud to bear because some times silence has the highest decibel

I want to jump and be swallowed by a sea of fire

Anywhere is better than here

Anyone is better than you

And anytime before that night I was happy