It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived

I'm tired of everything
I have stood here
by the force of unseen hands.

Knowing the wind
is the enemy of trees,
leaves and dust
cast out to sea...

My thoughts
scattered & twisted visions
murky bottoms deep

Shoulders rounded
& smooth as stones
Heart broken like brittle bones
& a Soul we no longer weep.

One's feet mired down
where attrition, strife & guilt
have found solid ground.

& death won
upon the field,
long after
the flag
& the soldier's fight  
within are gone.

standing
here lifeless...
One's ambitions
wither, pass by & die.


Psjwebber
03 Dec 2024

Lately
Terms from my past
of Feeling unselected
unchosen, unwanted
& now for years,
did last...

Hope opens
its doors then
closes itself
leaving my tears
again on the floor.

Love holds on
forgetting
& refusing
to remember
what I have learned
again...

Reciprocal visions
of ourselves
Adored & amored
sometimes inherently
abhorred
imperfections
Reflections
seen within us.

Crushed by:
the pain of
having known,

wishing not to know
from which way came
the fatal blow:

indifference
deja vu
or carelessness
& the apt to forget:

one's name
a place
or thing...

Another death
between catching
& gasping for
each & every  breath...

A fools heart
torn apart,
confused
& being melancholic
after cigarettes,
between sheets
in the dark...

Pictured
Remnants of my past
twisted by a storm
heat, frost refined
is how grew or formed.

children scattered
every fall
& blown about
like straw...

gates & fences
Up & went
changed the lines
kept what was within
only to be torn down again...

I saw the landscape move,
*****, erode and enclose
so my feet held on
& spread deep all around
trying to find
what's left of ground

My friends
were cut down
sown into pieces,
traces of them
here & there
maybe found.

loneliness & noise
has crept in...

there's only,
so much I can bare
wishing it all gone
cannot be a sin.