By. Lauren

I find myself missing the people I never seemed to know.
Not up to date on their name change
Yet I find myself craving them.
Craving their forgiveness for my cluelessness.
I wish I would've known better then.
I wish I would've listened better then.
Listened to what they were going through then.
But I'm afraid it's too late.
I made the mistake.
I wish I could've apologized to them.
If only I could go back to then.
Back to then when they were them.
Back to the time, I didn't comprehend them.
Back to a day, I could explain myself to them back then.
I guess this poem is as close as I'll ever get.
I feel sorry.
But I bet they've moved on from then.
I just wish I could apologize to them.

By. Lauren

Living in the Bible belt is like living in hell.
Oh, the irony of it all.
Christ equals heaven that's what I was always told.
But does it really?
Oh does it really?
Really really really?
Does Christ really equal heaven in this hell?
From the age of zero, I was taught a religion that I couldn't understand.
My tiny ears couldn't even understand my own mother's words fully.
Yet, I was taught about a lord I later disowned.
Not to mention the scorching heat of it all.
The words their religious mouths set ablaze every Sunday afternoon.
The toxicity of it all.
Each Sunday afternoon sitting in a pew waiting to be pumped full of a venom I can't allow myself to believe in.
This is hell.
Yet I'm stuck here fighting because I know no better place to call my home.

By. Lauren

A Poem Dedicated to one of my dearest friends

Today's your birthday!
You've made it yet another day.
Let us celebrate.
A life well lived is a life well loved.
Although there are hard times.
You've made it through.
5,110 days you've been on this earth.
7,358,400 minutes of achievements.
88,300,800 breaths keeping you here with us.
Let us celebrate the one we love the most.
Today's your day.
24 hours to just be you.
1,440 minutes we get to be proud of you.
Today just keep breathing those 17,280 breaths and let the world celebrate you.
Today's your birthday!
We love you.

Here's to 14 years of your life!

By. Lauren

What is it you see in me?
Are my words too real for you?
I hope your heart has not been broken this way too.
Your poor eyes young girl.
You've read more than one should bear.
How do you stay so strong?
May I have a piece of your point of view?
To the girl always liking my poetry.
Thank you.

By. Lauren

I feel so bad.
All I ever do is complain to you.
What am I to say to you when all I ever do is complain?
I just want to joke with you but I can't when all I ever do is complain.
I'm in pain.
I want to tell you why but I can't even try.
It's all a predicament I don't want to be in.
And I don't want to be here.
I don't want to be in pain.
I don't want to complain.
I want to be strong for you but how can that be done.
It sounds so plain.
Just be strong Lauren.
Why must you complain?
Did your mother teach you no better?
Did your life fail you that hard?
Lauren why don't you just stop this already?
Stop complaining!

By. Lauren

Lately I've been crying at night.
Letting the tears drip down my face.
Lately I've been sad all day.
Hiding my pain.
I take my pills but lately I've felt conflicted.
Lately I've been searching for a reason.
A chance to not feel so lost.
Lately I have no words to say.
No way to describe my pain
Lately I've been full of regrets.
Why'd I give up on therapy?
Poetry was my only option left but I do not know what else to say anymore.
I have no wisdom left.
No advice to give myself.
So lately all I have been is lost.
I guess this is the end.