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It's been a month.
My ultimate failure looms behind me as I try to keep walking.
I still haven't called you to Tell you what happened...
The truth is I can't.
I modeled my life after yours.
You taught me everything I know.
My morals.
My ethic.
How can I tell my mentor I failed at the one task he prepared me for?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I couldn't do it.
I'm sorry your attention was wasted on me.
The truth is...
I'm just a boy.
I had to sell the red Chevy truck.
And now I have nothing.
Except a mop of muddy brown hair
To match the dull eyes on my face.
I've wandered that path,
And I beg you, please,
Go back.
Take the other path down the road.
Be stronger than I ever was.
Don't lock yourself down,
Once done it's almost irreversible.
Don't cause further damage.
Look at me.
I bear scars, bruises, broken bones.
All healed,
But none of them gone.
Needles, knives, razors,
I've even turned a boxcutter on myself.
A fishhook through the finger,
An exposed wire to the skin...
I've done it all.
And I tell you it's not worth it.
I'm going to tell you what no-one ever told me.
It gets better with hard work.
You're important.
You matter to a few people not pushed by pride.
Pain is not a release,
It is a bind.
A crutch.
Don't be like me.
You don't want to end up with shadows as your only friends,
And anger your only salvation.
Please, don't...I hope you realize who you are. I've been down that road...It doesn't get better with self infliction. I know.
We're more than tired conciounce tied to broken frames,
More than crying eyes linked to broken hearts,
More than clenched fists wired to ****** flashbacks.
We're a species.
We feel
We  ARE
We experience love, hate, pleasure, pain, jealousy, empathy, greed, guilt and countless other things no beings ever have.
We've spread our reach beyond our world.
We've created monuments that dance with the stars.
Our buildings kiss and rise over the clouds.
We were born from the heavens.
We created both peace and war,
And have each for the other's sake.
We **** each other in droves as new life flourishes within our race.
We are both a balance and an imbalance.
A creator and a destroyer.
We've made mistakes,
But we try to learn from them.
Hello,
My Name Is Human.
Welcome to Earth.
Population: Boundless
We're a strange people...
But we're not so bad really.
#MyNameIsHuman
If I were to drown
In the depths of my subconscious,
I'm not sure I know myself well enough
To find the body.
I can hear you.
I haven't faded to that extreme.
Yet I find myself weary to respond.
I realize the trouble I caused for you.
And I don't want you suffering because of me.
Loneliness is a curse.
But it's not half as bad,
As knowing that I'm the problem.
The warranty is expired.
There's no fixing a broken soul.
And I've decided to spend a lot more time
With my friend Misery.
She loves my company, after all.
Ring a-round the rosie,
Pocket full of posies,
Ashes! Ashes!
We all fall down...

Stacks of swollen bodies,
Screams of sick and dying,
Burning! Burning!
We've all been ******.

Forty days of pouring,
The lost which we are mourning,
Sinking! Sinking!
We all shall drown...

My rhyming now is finished,
Your heart now feels diminished,
Sickened! Disgusted!
Flee from my words.
When I am less than I once was,
But more than I used to be.
Don't you understand?
I don't fall for just another pretty face.
My heart doesn't chase a shapely woman.
Promises of physicality are nothing.
These things are everywhere.

If you really want me,
Then weave a story that captures my attention.
Create a ballad that surrounds my soul.
Intertwine my heartbeat with your rhythm and rhyme.
Because your raw emotion is what will attract me.

And at the moment, I could use a medium of emotion that I understand.
The soppy firings of the imagination
Filling an otherwise unhappy day
With artificial feelings of being loved
Before snapping awake and facing the crushing truth.
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