Sitting alone in the darkness of my room, I allow my mind to wonder.
But the only thing that seems to show is the image of you, and I can’t help but become lost in the abyss of intentional mesmerism that is cast upon me when I synchronize my thoughts and emotion.
Skin the color of ginger Pricked with pepper-styled specs of acne that give her a signature stimulation in my mind. To inhale her close proximity is to inhale the scent of cinnamon and honey layered thick on the warm releasing heat of candles dripping wax tears to stone floors as they gaze at her perfection.
Oh how lost I get in her presence.
She arises in me a need to capture her humility and turn it into a self-worth compatible with royalty. She arises in me a need to hark her easy listening and sway her into the darkened end of deserted dance floors I envision in my mind.
I am besotted by her unintentional euphony.
Her hypnotism is so strong that I find myself mentally caressing her smiling cheeks as we stare into each other’s souls, glasses fogged from each breath but eyes locking as seriousness takes over us.
I press her close and lean in smoothly, one hand clutching hers and the other flicking her hair back ever so slightly away from her lips so that her lips are freed for mine.
I have visions of a forged passion ensuing each moment I see her.
I have thoughts of the harmonious waves of sound flowing from her strawberry red lips.

Is it wrong to crave the innocence I think she has? Is it sad that I imagine her better than my body can relay images to my brain and that I have fallen in love so often with my own interpretation that I don’t speak lest she destroy the wish I have for her attention?
My honey sweet wannabe lover with the body of warmth and the smile of heaven. She is my one true fantasy that I could never do justice. She is the only image of perfection I see nowadays, the only image of contentment worthy of being synonymous with the word, she is the world that I want and the culture I shall adapt to please.
She is my crush.
And I am intimidated by the power that I’ve given her.
She is My-Wish

I never truly loved you.
My love, you were my eye candy.
You were my dum-dum
My sucker
And I only kept you around because you looked great on my shoulder.

You.
I know you more than you believe I do, I’m afraid, so what you say has already been affirmed or denied by what I know about you.
I can feel that you’re hurting, but you won’t tell me what’s really going on, I’m not sure if giving up is an option that’s not worth the risk.
I’m afraid that you might hurt yourself, or worse. Is that such a bad thing? You don’t talk, you don’t eat, you don’t cry, you don’t bathe, you don’t think. You’ve nearly convinced me that you’re an addict of some sort, and it scares me.
I talk to you nearly everyday for the next few months to chill you out after rehabs, after your second and third chances, but you relapse severely again and again like you don’t want to quit. I cut you off and you cut your wrists. How can you resist? You resist me, the helper of the haul to you, you block me off as if I’m not wanted. But regardless, I’m here, like it or not.
I love you enough to care. You disappear for days and come back higher than the skyscrapers that I believe you imagine about. But when you come down hard into my arms you find the sensibility to cry at yourself. But it could be for my sake only, but it’s not working, I’m losing sleep over you, your health deteriorating, you’re stealing from me like I’m the enemy, but I’m still the only pillar that your castle has to stand on, and regardless of how hard you push, the weight of my position keeps me glued to you so that you don’t fall any harder.
But you won’t listen to me anymore, you’ve basically fired me from your life, who am I to complain, but then, who am I to comply? I know you want it, but you need me, and so all I can honestly do is pray that you don’t overdose on your pride or anything else long enough to get help…
I’m too late, they’ve found you once more, bruised, beaten and stuck in the clouds of your mind, laughing at nothing and speaking gibberish that even you probably can’t understand. Dying, beaten, hurting, needing, wanting, having. I should’ve been there with you, holding your hand making sure that the harm didn’t go to you. But they couldn’t give you back to me, they couldn’t help you out of the stupor that you had stooped to. And I couldn’t help either. It was time to let you go, permanently, I’m afraid. Why did you have to go? Why did you have to give into the desire for it? You knew it would only hurt you, why did you do it to yourself, to me?
The thunder claps in my ear as I cry at the grave of the loved one I used to know. Rains pour on me, winds rage, emotions flair. You’ve been in the ground for under two days and I already miss you. I miss everything about you… even your habit. I know what it does, but you’re gone, what do I have to lose?

My attitude has changed, my paradigm of the world has been tainted with the taste of sorrow and the funk of death. I become a phantom in skin, the angel of demons or the demon of angels, regardless, I feel alone and unwanted. And thus I follow you once more, thinking of you with syringes around me, life ebbing and waning, eyes shutting but slowly opening revealing an area of the city that I had never traveled to, a place in my domain that was foreign. I wanted to leave, but go where? And thus, with the face of you in my view and the thought of your voice in my ears, I slip down the road less traveled, following your footsteps once more.
Love lost, heart faded, alone in his own creation. The god has fallen, the wrong path has been taken…

A thought crossed my mind last night.
What if I loved you?
What if we actually became intimate? What if our little flirts developed into something more like those that I know. What if we became more than casual passes in the hallways? What if we became closer than whatever we are now?
Would you be cool with that?
A question came to my head yesterday.
Why am I searching for a phantom?
Why is it that I look unknowingly for a love that I could give an honest **** about? How is it that I’m stuck in the past looking for something to fill that which I only had a taste of? How is it that even under the pressures of life I still have enough space in my schedule to stress over love?
Do you know what love is? Because I wouldn’t mind teaching you.
Would you be cool with that?
What if we gave each other our minds, what if we developed into something that even we had no clue about?
Would you be cool with that?
In this dark world, would you be cool with me holding your hand and leading the way? Would you be ok with showing an interest in a forsaken soul who shows an interest in you?
Would you be ok with speaking in private and kissing in public? Would you accept my invitation to entwine fingers and chat the world away?
Or Am I Just Dreaming?

Imagine a time and place where all movements are stopped,
Where all beings are controlled by your feelings and your thoughts.
Where anything is possible and all around is green,
And where whenever you speak everyone hears you talk.

Alright, that intro was terrible, but I suppose I wanted to say
that the silent magic you possess, it takes my breath away.
Not intentional or forced at all, it’s just your sophistication,
It brightens tunnels in the dark; it can run monsters out of basements.
And it captures attention from others somewhat similar to you, for you shine a light that reverberates its way through us all, and I don’t know how you do it. My name is earth, you must be flora because I feel like we grow together. That’s why I try to speak when I see you. Granted I’m shy and people make me nervous, but for some reason I don’t have the same reaction around you. You are a question to me of which I have no answer, and when I try to ask, I fail to speak.
Perhaps it’s just stupid emotions, but I feel something in my mind that I can neither explain nor understand and it’s driving me crazy, so I’ll ask here: what are you like? Who are you really? What’s on your mind? Where are you from? Mind if we talk? What’s your story?
These questions are endlessly popping up with no answers, you’re a mystery and I’m no ******-Doo, so I’ll stay forever wondering, forever thinking things of you.
But maybe, just maybe some time in the future we will understand why
Such a beautiful spirit stayed silent and such a beautiful spirit stayed shy.
An angel I found in a school of shadows, a halo brightly over your head.
Only you cleared my darkened mind, only your answers can clear my head.

@Un-named
Stop talking to me as if you know what you’re saying, you and I both know that you’re going through a motion that you never asked for. I feel the presence of a ghost everytime I pass your cold, and life-left form, but you never died, just grew colder and colder until your soul could no longer stand the chill of your frozen form.
And you know what you did, you broke me with your withdrawal, although money was never involved. You went around, scaring me with your promiscuity and crushing the very last thing of a soul that I had. Why? Why hurt me in that way? Why spit in my face as if I were the enemy in an ongoing, unknown war. Why? What is your synopsis? You know what, nevermind anymore.
I could hear the future on the first day I met you, it kept whispering in my ear words that I had constantly pushed into the back of my mind, letting your beauty take over my eyes and fill my brain with the fantasies that you placed there. You toyed with me, with my heart, and for that I must admit I am sad to be around you. You made me vulnerable to a disease that I had never ever felt before, but you dubbed it love, I dub it lust, ****** attraction is all we had, you didn’t want more.
But I did.
I wanted you.
Why couldn’t you accept that? If you were scared then you should’ve said so, hadn’t I showed you my easy-going nature? I never should’ve went with you to the movies that day, never should’ve played your silly games, never should’ve even acknowledged that you existed after the first mistake. Were we a mistake? That was the simple question I had asked you, was it really that hard a probe? Did it really require more than a few seconds of thinking? Well congratulations, You’ve shown exactly how you feel.
I’ll get over it, sure, it’ll take time, but I will, and you knew that which is why you played me so close like that. No, I’m not running back to you like a track-star. I want my way, you want yours, yet only one of us was willing for a compromise, Why? For god’s sake, Look me in the eye and tell me what you thought was the problem. No answer? So typical, I figured you’d exit on your own agenda once your motives were fulfilled. But before you go could you please lock my door back, I was writing before you ruined me and I intend to do so even after hearing this news. Too much has life placed on me to force me to comply with the demands of the god that I have sworn to love, yet everything seems to play me like a drum-set.
Love is war, lust is peace, yet one is perpetual and one is meant as a façade for the true meaning of what the other is supposed to offer. Not straight-forward, but still as ***** as an arrow, nevermind what we say, the world is our journal, hear the poet’s wounded roar.

My fists hunger to lunge at love and destroy it the way it destroyed my starving soul.
How Could you be so cruel, love?
How could you go against your feelings for me?

No matter how distant we are,
you’re always so close to my heart

The beauty that once defined her has now defied her.
The curve of her lips
the swish of her body
the melody of her voice
all so beautiful to the world yet they bring her to a depression.
How?
Why is she so burdened by the things that make her so lovely to the eyes?

It’s true that I’m a beginner in most ways. But I learn fast if taught right.
Never had to fake for rich people, but I can learn. Never told a lover I love them, but I can learn. Never had ***, but I can learn.
It’s the experience.
Now I get it. It’s not a question of quality or quantity, merely question of experience in a world of inexperience.
But how can one learn
If none will teach?

This one goes out to the regular ladies. The ones popping pimples in mirrors and not worrying about make-up in the morning. The ones who say forget about their friends and go out exploring.
The ones who give kisses to random associates and giggle about it to their friends later but make sure somehow not to confuse him with emotions he had to create to start a feeling. The ones who keep the quiet ones closest and the loudest front and center.
The ones that pay attention to me, smile sometimes, and move on. You have no idea how it feels to be recognized once again, and I’m loving you guys for it. The ones who play with their hair in class, no ***** given about what you say to them about it.
This one goes out to the girls who keep a low-pro and just go with the flow, speaking only when spoken to and giving  false smiles as an indication of how little they are interested. To the girls who have a shyness that needs to be broken, but no party animals can claw through it without her unwilling will,
This one’s for the loners, all alone in a world that they refuse to abandon, sheltered by a reminiscence that doesn’t break through the storm of becoming current again. Those who were beginning something by themselves and ended up with a partner by the end, we know and we’re happy for you.
Now, I only named a few that this was for, but truly, it’s for all those who want it to be for them. I just want you to know that you’re not alone, ever. You’ve personally got an angel who knows what’s going on with you. A guardian if only you let them through,
And I know this, because I am one of those guardians, and I’m willing to serve and protect any who declare me employed for the task.

I consider myself to be an indefinite factor in life
So I plan to stay
But I want to borrow your heart for the rest of time.
I hope that that's okay.

It's in a sea swarming with strangers that reminds me of my size.
Some call me too big, others call me too little
But every time I'm surrounded by people
I begin to feel

Tiny

I am a creature, I am no human.
For how many humans have claws?
Why is it that even when there are so many people around me, I’m still alone?

It’s because I’m no person
I’m a separate entity.

I can keep it real when I need to.
So she always knows the deal.
I never complain of my body, but should work on my *** appeal.

I’m glad she was patient with me, but the quickie stated impatience.
Hands full of body and nose full of fragrance.

She was my reluctant first

I was too anxious to just enjoy and now it’s got me marked.
Now we speak and she jokes, but somehow I don’t feel dark.
They say that nothing is common knowledge, but I feel I can learn all.
Given another chance, I’ll give my best at what I find as an actual fall.

But until then, I still think of those few moments
Immersed in love and something wetter
I think about what I did and what I can do
And all the ways that next time I’ll show her better.

Blackened eyes for the sights I'll never see.
Red tears burst from cuts in my hands.
I am a victim of a darkened reality.
For I am different from my kind, and I am different from Man

My mind is a void. I don’t know where it came from.
All I know is that I fall in it everyday

Lips are meant to be kissed, but yours were meant to be bitten. I miss nibbling the ebony out of your darkness and lighting up a new fire. We burned so well that i never realized that we were burning out like a dwindling twilight blaze. it was never meant, and the realization is making me sicker and sicker the more I sit in front of this phone and call my common sense to me to only receive your whispers on the voice mail. Im emptier. Emptier than I've ever been because you took the life out of me. ******* thief.

Is it bad to think of strangers when your friends are around?
Why is it that a person you don’t know stays a mystery when all you have to do is introduce yourself?
What is a stranger really?
And why do I keep making eye contact with them?

Maybe you weren't the one to hold my heart, but you sure had a firm grasp on it when you pulled away from me. Guess the warmth of it wasn't enough to heat your frozen soul.

I gotta learn to forget the bad you caused, cuz it always puts my mind in a frenzy. Never loved and lusted at the same time and you showed me that I had never felt any emotion like you could bring. The emotional charge associated with abandonment. *******

I remember how your hands felt the last time they were in mine. They felt comfortable. They felt warm and they fit like the pieces of a puzzle. Why didn't you let them stay there?

Girls like you value the struggle as a means of bringing interest into their personal lives. They adore ghetto mentality and think that hood ****** are the only good men. Girls like you are so ******* backwards. Why am I addicted to girls like you? I hate that I loved you. I hate that I lusted you. I can't believe i wasted my time teaching a girl like you what intimacy was even after you. I guess the teacher could never learn the lesson in this case.

Thoughts

My thoughts are constantly changing, sometimes thoughts of an old girl, sometimes of an old friend, some times of a moment I let slip away into the oblivion that I call my atmospheric spaces.
I think of her now, and it’s almost been 7 months, and how exactly she changed my view. I think of them now, and wonder what they’re doing and hoping all is still well.
Do you think they still remember me? With most of the signs I picked up, all is usually forgotten at the end of the day, mutual friendly love is sizzled in the scorching heat of the quick moving sands of time.
Frustrated
Can there be any other word for it? A personality of sarcasm and subtle sweetness, a heart of pure gold and a soul that speaks tales of happiness, trial and sorrow.
Truth be told, I miss ‘em. Nearly everything about them. They were my real first look into the outside world, into a space beyond my own and into the universe beyond me.
Am I missed?
Perhaps now, but to know that I’m still a thought floating around that building, a clear question on a few minds and a few intimate memories is all that my heart wants.
I want to know that I am thought of, that I did leave a mark on the empty canvas they call Autaugaville, that thepoetic in thepoeticjustice is still un-forsaken and that my mind hasn’t been replaced with that of another. That although people come and go, I am still in the forethought of all those who saw who I was.
Again, these are just thoughts of mine, but they weigh heavy on my heart. So I want you guys to know that although you can be annoying, you can be pretty fun too. I love you all like the funny family that I had never quite had and let you all know that you are ever in
My thoughts.

Love is like a drug that I can never over-dose on
But for some reason I keep getting the worst batch

Sometimes I wish I was the brotha from the boondocks. You know which one I mean: ***** with the swag *** afro and intelligence that keeps his enemies awake at night. An attitude that just screams "don't **** with me" and, just like a broken toilet, he don't take **** from nobody. Yeah, I wish that was me sometimes.

Tell me why there is so much hate in the world these days but every religion claims it teaches love. Tell me why people hate black people or why parents are ******* or why we spend 14 years at school institutions for free but have to pay thousands a year for a college education. tell me how the caged bird got that way. My curiosity is burning hotter than the sun on the burnt skin of my ancestors wiped out by conquistadors and brought across an ocean of blood tears against the tide of their will.
What am I doing here? Where did I come from and where am I going? Why wasn't i born into a rich white family? Why do I have to watch my mother struggle with lips sewn shut because we don't struggle as bad as other families? Why is money even a standard of living when it's just a piece of ******* paper? See, I'm convinced that this world ain't ****.