Why do i use the word
if it means it's only possible?

if i could change.
if i could smile.
if i could love.

Why can't i say it without the if?

It limits me but
if i stop i don't know what will happen...

Once a pain
Now a love,
Once ignored,
Now unforgotten.
Sun came out,
I was enlightened.
Words flowed through,
my fingertips,
typing into poems.
I could talk through some words,
None would probably judge it.

I snapped my heart to fit your image,

the
                          pieces
                    ­                                      became
       s
                                        c
                  a
                                           ­                      t
        t
                                        e
           ­                                                                 ­ r
e
                            d

and I couldn't glue them back after you left.

Aggressive, arrogant, and abusive,
with aggravation and absence,
and accidents that alarm.

Broken, beating, black and blue,
with bruises and blades,
and burns that blister.

Cold, cancelled, and captive,
with clashes and chills,
and contagiousness that corrupts.

i am a rose,

i am full of thorns.

i am a bud,

i am growing.

i am a root,

i am my support.

i am a rose,

i am doomed to wither.

I can’t help ponder,
the essence of time,
For once time goes,
It is forever gone.

The time I’ve used to write this,
cannot be given back,
Me, the one in control of myself,
can only take time away from myself.

I don’t get to add it.
I can’t change it.

I do know I won’t waste my short term here,
doing nothing of some worth.

When I lay my head,
down to my pillow softly,
will I wake again?

My heart is frozen in time.
Stuck in the past,
And unable to move on.

My thoughts are frozen in time.
They stop working,
And just stay the same.

My eyes are frozen in time.
Forever showing the things I wish to forget,
And not seeing what’s ahead.

My body is frozen in time.
Stuck in place,
And unable to move.

My brain is the only thing still functioning and it’s making me mad, for why can’t I just relax? It won’t stop going on and on and on and on till the point my mind is just a jumbled mess. Why can’t I just have a point of relaxation a time for me to rest and enjoy my life instead of being pressured all the time when will I have my time?

And until then I’ll be frozen in this terrible time.

In the meadow she did lay,
Frozen in her own decay,
Broken by her day and age,
She was made a display.
Once wild and free,
Now made to stay,
Cracks in her heart,
She was made to be seen.
In her mind,
She was cold,
Colors washed,
No longer bold.
She is me,
I am her,
Our reflections blurred.
One day light will shine,
One day free in mind.
Till then she’ll lay in dirt,
An image of one’s wrongful mirth.

“I hope you’re happy” is what I scream into the wind.

Singing with Olivia makes me feel blind.
Blind as in ignorant, because ignorance is truly bliss.
I learned this as I learned the truth of the world.
All roses are beautiful, and all roses have thorns.

We are the roses, we are the hands that are cut.

She had layne,
He was pained.
She gave glares,
Him in snares.
Her love gone,
His was chains.
One moved on,
Another stayed.

Though she left,
He’d wait on her.
One day she’d return.

The bullet flew through the air,
piercing the flesh of a deer.
Its aim was true and in a flash,
the doe was nothing to its wrath.

First time seeing rain,
I thought of it as a pain,
Now it makes me fain.

Gasping for air,
clawing for breath.
Held in place,
by cold, wet hands.
Breaking the window
of the lake’s glass.
Air rushing in,
such a refresh.

Through a window,
She did see,
A place where,
She’d be free.

In this place,
Trees grew high,
Oceans waved,
Birds cried joy.

She couldn’t help,
But ponder where,
Would this be,
How could she?

Then she blinked,
Brought back to life,
Her world gone,
And she kept on going,
Leaving the glare on the window,
Be one that’s behind.

I felt a pain,
Tight in my chest,

Weighted down,
AM said my clock,
Stop said my mind,

All of this pain,
Lifted from me,
Like a hand,

And I was free,

Darkness gone,
Ready to spring,
Emotion challenge,
Am I to pumped?
My body seems like I can’t do much.

Abstract and unknown,
That is what I call my home,
Here on this planet.

Everything needs light to be seen,
and until then it remains unknown.
I feel unknown,
but I have light nearby.
I have been seen,
and it makes me glad.

I dance in the rain,
I play in the sun,
I cry in the wind,
I cringe in the warm.

I watch the clouds,
and I count the stars.

Nature is round,
and I embrace.

Even if I don’t enjoy,
I still think it’s to be desired.

Nature is round,
and one must embrace.

What else could ever take it’s place?

I am undefined.
     My edges are blurred.
                 I am too soft to cut.
                          I am too rough to hold.
                                    I am invisible to some.
                                            I am too visible to some.
                                                       My heart is scraped.
                                                               I have scraped others.
                                                                    What am I? What do I do?
I am undefined.
     My edges are blurred.
                 I am too soft to cut.
                          I am too rough to hold.
                                    I am invisible to some.
                                            I am too visible to some.
                                                       My heart is scraped.
                                                               I have scraped others.
I am undefined.
     My edges are blurred.
                 I am too soft to cut.
                          I am too rough to hold.
                                    I am invisible to some.
                                            I am too visible to some.
                                                       My heart is scraped.
                                                               I have scraped others.
                    
                            

                                 I am undefined. I am misshapen.

To my dear Rose,

I wanted to talk to you,
but you blocked me, heh.
Hopefully you didn’t forget,
The roses I’d sent last week?
I know your with Jermey,
Or Jim, or Kai.
I just want you to know,
I’m still your nice guy.
I know you were just kidding,
When you told me no,
For how can’t you love me, Rose?

-Your Man, H

The terrible troupe,
my love for you.

Doomed from the start,
our story was blue.

I could see the end,
but I held on through.

If a clock breaks,
time does not.
The world moves on,
without a thought.
Even in days of love,
if one clock stops,
the other still runs.

When ones clock snaps,
or cracks or shatters or stops.
Stay with them,
as one day it will tock.

I'm bold, bold, bold.

I thought I could melt your heart,
and warm the iceberg in your chest.
Honestly, I'd thought I'd be your best,
but I was not made for that test.

You're distant, distant, distant.

I'm here, here, here.

You think of the future,
and I see the current world.
Honestly, I wish you'd look around,
but you won't turn your head to me now.

You're oblivious, oblivious, oblivious.

I'm aware, aware, aware.

Of they fact that you'll never stare,
but I still hope you will.
The warmth in my heart,
will go cold before my love disappears.

I wish you would talk to me,
it’s so hard without your voice in my life.
Do you want me to send more flowers?
Do you want Jeremy, Jim, or Kai?
Or do you hide your feelings of me from them?
I know you love me more than you love them.
I know.
So, how is your dog?
I saw you walking him yesterday,
though you didn’t wave,
you looked scared.
Probably because you thought something was gonna happen to your pup.
His name is mine, right?
I know you want me in your life,
so answer back!

Your Man, H

I danced with the reaper,
his sythe on the ground.

                        His cold hands sliding along my back,
                              spinning me dizzily around.

Right as his grip tightened the music stopped,
and I felt his boney hands drop.

                         His gaze shifted to another soul,
                           and I felt a sense of relief roll.

As I went to leave I heard them dance,
but she didn't finish her dance with death.

My soul wants to burn,
I keep the urge inside me,
Because I'll be dowsed.

Isn’t fear as dangerous as greed?

For it could make one do terrible things.

If one had fear,
they would be tense.
They would make sure,
to tell of their own,
till whole groups thought alike.
And once a community,
has one mind,
it only ends with a fright.