New year, new me, or so the saying boldly declares.
On this day, we craft our resolution
Pronouncing how we will rise,
Shine brighter, come this new year:  
To exercise more, to drink less,  
To awaken that dormant passion.
Now is the moment of grand renewal.
  
Yet, we often break these pledges, me no exception,  
Still, I sound the same trumpet of self-improvement.
This year, I will seek help, a defiant cry against depression’s grip.
No more will my mind deceive me with whispers of being worthless,  
I will vanquish the dark thoughts that tell me death is a release.
I will find trust, confide in others, confront my demons,  
And uncover old wounds despite their bleeding ache

This year I'm determined to grow closer to my father,  
Though his absence has carved resentment,  
I long for reconciliation before time escapes us.
I am intent on reviving bonds with loved ones,  
Family, friends, maybe see that estranged brother.
  
I will also indulge in a new passion, perhaps photography,  
Embrace the outdoors, and marvel at the beauty of earth
Maybe write more poetry in nature to become inspired
My poetry shall flourish, unburdened by the weight of opinion,  
Should my words reach even one soul, my mission stands.
  
This is also the year I try to be lonely no more
Friendship will be bravely looked for despite my fear,  
Fear will not hinder my need for connection.
So, reach out, Illinois-bound or distant soul, to share in kindred spirit.
  
This year, I will pay a visit to my brother’s grave,  
In the time since his departure, a heavy burden covered me
I will shed that blame, releasing myself from the illusion  
That I could have held back fate’s cold-blooded hands.
This year I seek forgiveness
for him, for me, in hope’s gentle light.

This year I will remain sober,  
And next year I will make that pledge again,  
And every year after.
For, alcohol has woven threads of pain
and loss into my life’s tapestry,  
So, to rise above and succeed in my resolve,  
I must stop trying to numb the pain
  
This year, kindness shall be my gift to myself.
Each morning, I will face the mirror and see the beauty within,  
For beauty lives in all of us despite our battles, past and present.

Now, as for love... Despite my stepmothers gentle nudging
Might not be in my quest this year; healing must come first,
But if love finds me, I shall not turn it away.
  
Yes, this is my yearly pledge,
Laced with deep hope and bright optimism.
And should I stumble along the way,  
No single setback will bar my path.
Yes, these are my new year resolutions
What dreams and vows shape yours?

In the shadows of silence, I walk alone,    
My screams fade into the background, unheard  
I stand like a forgotten book on a shelf,    
Pages frayed, waiting for someone to read.    
Each glance a reminder, each smile a ghost,    
Why does friendship dance just out of reach?    
Beneath this facade of happiness, I tremble,    
Embarrassed to confess this void in my heart.    
Where do the friendships fade, like dusk to night?    
Do they vanish like mist beneath the sun's grasp?    
I seek a soul to share these moments with,    
A bridge across the distance, a hand to hold.    
But the world spins on, indifferent to my plea,    
Fingers outstretched, clutching at glimmers of hope  
What is it that keeps me in this quiet dark?    
Why does the warmth of connection seem so distant?
Are these walls I’ve raised too sturdy, too steep,  
Shielding me from anguish, yet caging my heart?  
If so, I may remain in this still exile,  
Longing for connection, yet trapped by my own design.

At night, I drifted into sleep,
wishing the dawn would find me as someone else,  
A stranger in a skin I’d never worn,
untangled from the knots of who I am,  
Free from the weight of names
and shadows that cling like second skin,  
Dreaming of being nothing more
than a fleeting whisper on the wind.  
I longed to vanish into silence,
where my thoughts could lose their shape,  
To be the face forgotten in the crowd,
untouched by time or fate.  
But sleep never comes with mercy,
and in the morning light I rise,  
Still bound within the prison
of my own familiar eyes.