When I was a kid,
An Angry Man lived in my home.
Everywhere I went, he was there.
Everything I did, made him angrier.
I was scared and confused.
People told me the Angry Man loved me,
But I only ever really saw Anger there.

When I was a teenager,
The Angry Man began to only visit my home
Instead of living there alongside us.
But when he visited it was just as scary and confusing.
I didn't know when he'd visit,
Or when the Angry Man would just be my dad.
So it was safest to treat him like he was always the Angry Man.

When I was an adult,
The Angry Man left my home.
Now he only visits in my nightmares.
Sometimes a ghost of him will still come around,
And I'll still get scared.
It's so easy to forget he's gone now,
When my dad's sighs and huffs sound so much the same.
When the Angry Man still appears behind his eyes,
Just for a moment.

Now I fear if I'll ever be free,
From The Angry Man that lives in my head.

I held a funeral for myself today
At least I feel like I did
I threw away the mementos
That weighed heavy on my heart
I tossed out everything that reminded me
Of everything I didn't want to be anymore

It was painful
To bury myself
To realize what I'm doing
The reality of it all
I stopped for a while to grieve
To really mourn the loss
Of the girl that used to sit aside
As you trampled her and screamed

Then, I picked myself up
Brushed off the melancholy
And the grief
And looked at my reflection
I buried myself
So I could make room for who I am now
A person who will not
Be made to feel selfish
Simply for following their heart

When I held the funeral
There were no speeches
No wake
No one but me cried
I wrote no eulogy
I made no apologies
I buried who I used to be
And then I looked forward
To the path I'd carve for myself

With or without your help

More often than not I wonder
When I stopped saying "You're welcome"
When I was thanked
It seemed to have happened in a blink
One moment I'm using the manners taught to me
Ever since I could recall
The next moment I started saying "Of Course"
As if doing these favors
For other people was as natural
And sensible as breathing

Perhaps it started when I started giving away parts of me
For no cost at all
When did I become so painfully selfless?

Dear Residents Upstairs,
Pardon my tone
But could you please keep it down?
I have work in the morning
And you are right outside
With kindness,
Me

Dear Residents Upstairs,
You still haven't listened to me
And now you look at me
As if I'm ruining all the fun
I'm just tired
With kindness,
Me

Dear Residents Upstairs,
You inviting the others
Was the biggest mistake
You will ever make
With kindness,
Me

Dear Residents Upstairs,
I formerly withdraw
From any fights
Arguments
Or nuisances
With kindness,
Me

Dear Reaidents Upstairs,
Once more I dare you
Argue and scream
Over stupid petty things again
Next time
I will not stay my tongue
Sincerely,
Me

Dear Residents Upstairs,
You have pushed me
To a place of anger so violent
I feel my bones quiver and shake
As I suppress myself
I saw a flicker of fear
Deep in your eye
Do not test my temper again
With Kindness,
Me.