When you have an infinite pool of memories some may not be as clear as others but my first sight of her is as clear as aquarium windows
She had eyes that shined like a varsity star on JV, a smile that made me feel innocent, a laugh that sang to the inner child I hid from my coworkers and skin that i somehow just knew was as soft as Jehovah's pillows.
High School was my empire, my company, I was the head of the board, the CEO & looking at her made me weak, extremely weak, as if I was a college grad in my first interview, a warm gummy worm under a steak knife.
A villainous & crooked CEO I offered false dreams, led interns to believe they could earn a permanent position at my side, with really no true intention to keep them around past a short term, ironically one intern would change my life.
Although this is probably known, I have never spoken it out loud. My intentions were utterly negative, to lust and vacate, ignore her grief, & later ask for her friendship as if I had forgotten my deceptive ways.
Upon her accepting the pain I offered disguised as a fairytale romance hidden behind a friendly smile and a fleecy touch I couldn't help but think "I win again" unknowingly welcoming with open arms a loss I would feel for the rest of my days.
The losses that are complete losses are not the ones to fear. Beware the losses that taught you something, the losses that made you better, the losses that are treasures for the next person to cherish.
Can I even consider it a loss lord? Is to lose a blessing a loss or is to have had the blessing even with having to part ways with it a victory in itself? It's this question, this thought that would lead my peace, my morals, my sanity to perish.
A young girl came into my bureau & completely shook the foundation, transformed my rules and morals, flooded a chilled and dreary workplace with unquestionable love, kindness, and innocence.
The most beautiful things in life can't be bothered without retaliation, **** the most gorgeous tree and Mother Nature will scorn you, corrupt a lionizing sky with dark clouds and there's no way to escape the consequence.
Make no mistake she was & still is to this stay one of earths greatest sights, An antibiotic to infected eyes, fruit for the soul, and a nutrient i would inquest and crave for everyday.
Never had I met an intern so full of life, i set out a task she would achieve, achieve, achieve. My effort she matched, my spirit and Enthusiasm she surpassed, anything i put forward she quickly matched like a celestial 401k.
It's not everyday the Boss learns from the intern & the experience was nothing short of an epiphany. Her paralyzing deep chestnut graze taught me to look deeper than just what the eyes revealed.
Her heart was as pure as ****** from the furthest regions of East Asian jungles, a heart so pure it purified and cleansed the heinous of mines, an affection so real.
The most alarming motivators in life are Love & Pain. We are willing to Die for what we Love & circumvent the pains we fear at all cost, until what you love is the source of the pain & we end up so confused by excruciating emotion we are willing to die for pain and avoid the love.
In her absence that's precisely what I did. I played hide & seek with the idea of Love & searched for pain, My soul would seek cuts, my heart craved anguish, anything that periodically felt worse than the regret of that game winning catch I let slip out of my glove.
Needless to say she taught me to appreciate everyone in this Company I called My life, that an intern can impact your empire just as much as a chief financial officer, just as much as your successor that is your pride and joy, your only kid.
We wish to believe we are in control of our lives but are we really? Are you in control if one mortal being can change the direction entirely? All that is certain is that we should love and appreciate however we can. Open your arms, open your heart, and most importantly open your eyes, put a microscope on your life, it's usually the things we subconsciously write off as minor and small that turn out to be so big.

"Imani's Internship" -Dash Pinder

In every single one of my Poems, I set a fire to my soul & hope someone sees the smoke.
& if no one lays eyes on my despair, I roll over into a Percocet induced coma & dream as I choke.
Send somebody.

I express what I'm feeling because to compress emotion is to request self destruction.
Say what you feel, share what you feel, there is no right or wrong, no proper instruction.
I release toxic emotions they poor out through vivid imagery & after I'm able to function.
My emotions blend together like a gumbo, one leading to the other & so forth, a fervent conjunction.

Faith. Hope. Life. Joy. Simple.
All of the things that claim in the Lord's temple.
Rather than excitement, I'm consumed by speculation as I walk through these church doors.
Maybe big time temples get away from the main point, from what's right? Strange that the most famous person here is not the Lord.

Something changes when the sun beats me to bed.
Numbers dance, scripts prance, & a masquerade starts in my head.
Traces of things I should've did, thinking of my tomorrows, my worries, what am I do?
Suddenly this party in my head seizes, music is silenced & the guests vacate once I see that "incoming call" from you.

As usual I awake, open my phone & observe a virtual world full of my peers Opinions.
But the things I'm seeing & hearing today, this time I can't sit back and listen.
When someone points out your negative habits, you rebel, utter "this is my life" & that's it. Nobody ever budges.
Same Love becomes legalized, & you're offended? People who feel so alone, now have some light shed into a tunnel of hiding and depression & I see a shortage on law degrees but an abundance of judges.
I've watched my generation, friends I've had from childhood drown and disintegrate in sin you guys praise, Hallucinogens, violence, theft, disrespect, *** antecedent to matrimony, all these things you same judges promote.
Now today, people with blunts in their grips, blood on their hands, with children despite lack of marriage, but more importantly people we allow to live their lives and be happy want to condemn others for being happy makes me sick, puts a disgusting blockade in my throat.
Gay love is love too & they deserve the same smiles you have. A gay woman once tutored me to pass a much needed course, a gay guy one returned my wallet when I thought I was surely going to hurt for weeks, I have so many stories.
God is the ultimate judge & we will all be judged for our sins. I just feel like there's so many things wrong with this world today, two people being happy should be the least of our worries.

Love Wins -Dash Pinder

Bright ideas but I like my room dark, So when I start thinking I disturb my own comfort zone.