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Letter 103
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
Letter 103
I hope you're listening tonight and in case this is the first time you're hearing me I talk to you almost every night I've been trying to picture heaven I'm trying to picture it's skies and it's rivers I bet the scene is fulfilling  it leaves me restless not knowing I did well this year in soccer not so much in school but I know you see why I feel your presence when I'm on the field or in the circle or in the court when I'm sitting in my room as my world resets itself from all I have had to take and I feel your arms around me and a hug when I Feel defeated I feel you with me when I try to run out the sadness of you not being here I feel your full breath in the wind and I feel you catch me when I let go it's not easy for me to go on like the world is still round and moving in full orbit  it feels pretty flat and still from where I'm standing in a series of twists and turns it becomes a whirlwind a breathless whirlwind all my paper letters burn because I have never known what to say  and on the day you left I was 7:50 instead of getting to tell you what you were or who you were I hope your cold still hand and I told the shell of you that you are truly my best friend it's not often when you look at someone on the complete opposite end of the spectrum from you that instantly connect in those days I will never forget because you taught me beautiful simplicity Anyway no other Ever would or could I always expected you to be around I expected to see you at my graduation it was a long lasting exaggeration and a dead hope now buried so deep in the ground I can't believe it ever lived I hadn't known down that first hand until I met life and you are the one who shaped me not by lecturing me or by trying to give me all of your lessons before you left but with your  watery blue eyes  and your enlightened smile as if there were thousands of reasons you were doing so you've taught me to try to do the same but what you had was effortless it's with years of practice and work and trust and faith but now to show people happiness it's effortless  and that will last me forever I'm just glad I got to spend a little bit of my time with you even if it were the end of yours
Continue reading...
Like Winter
Pitch Hiker Nov 2017
Like Winter
Im going on a walk.
Im sorry but I really don't want to talk.
If you don't let me go, Im going to miss it.
Your words don't really fit.
To much! your saying to much!
Let go! please don't touch!
Im not mad,
But I feel real bad
Just let me go on the walk.
I cant talk,
I cant know whats wrong if you don't let me look,
I will tell you whats wrong when Im done with the book.
Let me decipher my feelings
Before I cry with no reasons.
My heart is fading like the changing of the seasons,
Growing cold.
Im becoming winter.
Feel my veins harden and become the branches
Of a frozen tree...
Brittle...
Feel my hands stiffen and die.
Like the baby birds who couldn't stand the cold
Feel my eyes dim just as the ice on a pond will frost over.
And I will be frozen, lost with my lonely wilderness
Continue reading...
Like Your Still Here
Pitch Hiker Oct 2017
Like Your Still Here
I have noticed the sky's a little bluer
The clouds don't conceal it the way they used to
The sun shines brighter and the cardinals sing louder
I know its you I never understood the point in letting people know
How special they were to me
And everyone around until I met a man
Who showed me more meaning behind a frown
At first meeting I met his tears
And he met mine you could see his spirit in his
Beautifully blue story telling eyes
They reminded me of soft waters
He and I feel we felt alone
People we loved left maybe not on purpose
They just left but its ok
And from then on we were friends
He held my hand in moments of pain
I wish I held on tighter I wish he held on longer
For I now have learned that we don't live for ever
But he does he is not seen
But does not go unheard you can feel him
If you wait he is strong
I know he held on as long as he could
He fought his battle till the end
I would like to think he won
I don't know who he was I know who he is though
I wish I could have shared more of the future
But he is on a journey
To be with his wife
In a place where they pain isn't felt
Where they stand hand and hand with us
And all their friends and family
I could tell you how terrible it is
That he is now gone
But thats not the case I try to remember
That I have been touched
By the heart of Woody
Thanks to him I have discovered my strength and courage
Continue reading...
Little Lady Bug
Pitch Hiker Sep 2017
Little Lady Bug
Hi little lady bug
Sitting on my shoulder
Your presence brings me joy
And luck follows your stride
I hope your enjoying the ride
Little lady bug
Sitting on my shoulder
What is life worth to you?
How do you live out your moments?
Do you laugh?
Do you know how to cry
When nothing is alright?
Little lady bug
Do you know your songs
Little lady bug do you know what you symbolize?
Little lady bug
Sitting on the babies shoulder
Do you know the land your standing on
Do you know why the sun rises and sets?
Do you know why it rains
And why it pours
Do you know why the seasons change?
And how we are involved?
How have you evolved?
How will you change?
To continue living hour little lady bug life
Continue reading...
Look to me
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
Look to me
I have been emptied
Not by solitude
But by longitude
And latitude
Geography has never really been my thing
I got horrible grades in eighth grade
Because I simply didn't care
But my friends thought different
They stopped looking through me and started looking
To me
So I begged my teachers to give no sign of my bad grades I stayed after and worked
But I pleaded for them to not show a soul
Not because I was embarrassed
But because I didn't want to ruin what my friends thought they had
I could relate
But I had to pretend I was someone I wasn't
And that's what school has made me
I need to walk into soccer
With confidence
Run like the past is chasing me
Play like no ones watching
And live like I never have before
Continue reading...
Lost To Reality
Pitch Hiker Dec 2017
Lost To Reality
She got lost in so many dreams
That reality slowly killed her
She got so lost in her world
Reality couldn't remove her
Without breaking her heart
She was so lost in her mind
Reality was unable to find her
She was lost for so long
That she was truly gone
Continue reading...
Maintain My Crazy
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
Maintain My Crazy
Could you ever read the signs
Do you know how to read my eyes
Not left to right

Invalid answer

Do you know how to read my lips
Without me mouthing out pain
Did you ever feel the paranoia I exhaled

If I gave you a magnifying glass
Could you understand the gibberish
Covering my body
Or care enough to tell me
That there's gibberish covering my body
Would you be respectful enough to
Leave me
I don't need an explanation
I need no excuses
If you can't understand me
If you can't ask what you wonder
Then leave me to myself
Because I am learning as I go
I need no distractions
You may call it mean
And too solitary
But that's me
That's how I maintain my crazy
Continue reading...
Megan
Pitch Hiker Jan 2019
Megan
I want to go back
In time
To a time
Where it didn't matter
How different we were
When you invented ways
To build forts and I climbed the tree
Back when we talked about
Country songs and barbie dolls
Back when you liked to cook
And I liked to run
When we schemed all the time
And slept over each others houses
When you didn't care about being cool
When the only person you were was yourself
When you had dreams and we called each other
Sisters
When did vaping and drugs become more fun
When did you start to believe who you were wasn't
Good enough
I always thought you were
When did you start to believe that I didn't care
Well
After years of this *******
I am handing you my letter of resignation
I will no longer be waiting with my shoulder to cry on
I will no longer be the girl you shove to the outside
I am picking my place
I no longer wish to call you my sister
And I no longer care for the **** you do
You go have *** with everyone you want
Because it makes you feel pretty
Go party and get drunk
I will never hold your hair back
And I will never lift you out of this despair
I am only now caring about me
Continue reading...
Messes
Pitch Hiker Sep 2018
Messes
I was an artist when I was four
I created masterpieces with ease and intent
From applying a slime greenish yellow paint
To my fathers jacket by hand
To painting my face with macaroni
With the use of a spoon
I was an artist who loved messes
Our house was always part loving
Part disaster zone
Hurricane Walker constantly turns over everything
Books end up in your underwear drawer
Marbles cover the floor and hide in dark corners
Important papers make it to the trash
While papers with a lack of importance
Wreak havoc  upon table tops and counters.
My bed room was lost to the clothes I can't
Stand to fold and put away neatly
I myself lost in the mess of writing on my walls
Continue reading...
My Best Friend Was My Demon
Pitch Hiker Aug 2018
My Best Friend Was My Demon
This demon I have put to rest
Has left me feeling new
I feel like my burden has lifted
But I'm left feeling blue
This demon has been my best friend
For years and years
A friend that has pushed me and broke me
And fixed me and healed me
Brought me down from insanity
Taught me how to manage my determination
I have learned to control my sanity
And use my passion
It has helped me to grow
And helped me to teach
This friend has connected me with new friends
Its given me the opportunity to be coached
By the best coaches
I have broken our friendship
It's time to see how my heart does on its own
It's time to make a new best friend and learn
What else there is to be learned
The only person I'm changing is myself
And myself needs the change
I am no longer in love with my demon
That's been hard to admit
As time goes on we may rekindle
Our childhood feelings
But for now, I feel as the fire is choked out
And the smoke is too much for me
I will come back eventually
Continue reading...
My Vicious Love
Pitch Hiker Dec 2020
My Vicious Love
My vicious love acts out of fear
My vicious love acts out of pain
My vicious love seeks to be loved back
My vicious love is scared of the unknown
My vicious love is hurt and does what it can to protect me from more hurt
My vicious love causes me to become too involved too fast
My vicious love calls on my past to remind me why I love this way
My vicious love causes me to be lonely when I’m with the person I love
My vicious love causes me to cry over things that really don’t matter
My vicious love makes me worried all of the time
My vicious love makes me too prideful and act out of my lack of self confidence
My vicious love will ruin you too
So run before my vicious love loves you
Continue reading...
New Year New Lesson
Pitch Hiker Jan 2018
New Year New Lesson
This year ******!
Nothing good came of 2017
That’s what their saying
And it’s said with every passing year
Yes bad things happened
Worlds were built to collapse
And be built again
Not abandoned and left to rot
Think of everything your
Ending the year with
Like walking into an arcade
Experiencing all the different obstacles
To get each prize your starting 2018 with
Maybe you fought
But you were taught
A lot
You will continue to learn
Even when you refuse to accept
You will and have made friends
That walk with you
Hand in had
For better or for worse
2017 is just a year all it does is
Measure time
Not your life with in that amount of time
You have about 100 of them
Don’t make every year something bad
When so much good was done
In each one
Continue reading...
No conclusion
Pitch Hiker Nov 2017
No conclusion
Shh.
Let me listen to the silence,
Give my brain some space.
I can't hear what I feel
So I don't know what my
Heart is telling me.
Let me walk through the rain,
To help wash away the debri inside of me,
So I can think.
Let each drop
Distract each thought
Till everything I have thought up
Has been washed down.
Give me no reason but one to be happy,
I don't understand the negativity
You hand out like lollipops
And inject like a heroic vaccine  
Into the arms of those infected
With joy, peace, and laughter.
Bad blood donated to make a nation of bland,
Where every one is an emotional-*******...
Shh! Do you hear that?
It's my heart,
Speaking through the silence
Saying, there has been no conclusion
To my feelings
So mind whats left of your manners
And let me finish my story.
Continue reading...
Not Who You See
Pitch Hiker Sep 2017
Not Who You See
I am not who you see
Or you would describe me
As passionate
Or limit breaking
I am not who you see
Apparently
Im undeserving
Or embarrassing
So why am I on your team
I am not who you see
Or you would notice my drive
I am not who you see
Or you would feel the intensity
I carry with me like a backpack
But when I put on my red jacket
You will be seeing me
When I put on my red jacket
You will awe at my passion
You will watch me break limits
Over and over again till the limits are
Unbreakable
When I put on my red jacket
You will see Im more than deserving
That by underestimating me you are only
Embarrassing yourself
Want to know why Im playing for your team
Because I love what I do
I love it to the point where I let arrogance speak at me
And scuffle past me
When I put on my red jacket
You will notice my drive for the game
You will feel my intensity to its full capacity
Because that red jacket is a symbol
Of what I can accomplish
Its a symbol that someone sees my ability as
Progressive
That jacket will tell you that I have learned a lot
It will show you that I belong to a greater team
Who you could never compare to
Sorry that thats not who you see
Continue reading...
On Top Of It
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
On Top Of It
Though we have never stood
On the highest point on earth
I feel like we've climbed to the top
And back down again
More times than I can count
We find these places
That we want to keep to ourselves
But have the need to share the experience
I never needed company till now
Emptiness burrows through my
Flesh and bones
In and out of my veins
Till I bleed out in hundreds of
Different places
Loniness catches my gazes
And fills my eyes with sights
That burn through to my mind
Leaving an imprint that takes up my Memory card
But I still remember
Smiling faces in slow motion laughing
Never remembering why
We are laughing in the first place
But it's ok as long as I remember your
Face it's ok
You will be missed
Continue reading...
Orderly
Pitch Hiker Oct 2017
Orderly
Order is too much for me
I prefer to live unorderly
I don't like to be predictable
But inevitably I'm predicted
Living constricted leaves you
So limited and I can't handle limits
They say I need an organized
Person to straighten me out
Some say I need to be put in my place
People call me a mess
But I think I'm a test
A test run in process just let that process
Don't assume work it out
I work so hard to understand because
Mentally I'm slow
I'll forget you if I don't
Make an effort to know
Just let it go
Let it go is what they say
But first let me look at it
In every other way
Before it slips my mind
Let me study it
Let me inspect it
Because I will forget it
If I don't interrogate it
I want to remember you
I want to understand you
I want to know you and what you
Yourself stand for
Because your disorderly
In a way like me
Just smarter
You think logically
I try to rationalize who you might be
Because no matter how I deny it
In a way I'll admit
I like you
Continue reading...
Our Love
Pitch Hiker Oct 2020
Our Love
I guess our love is a different kind of love.
Not a bad kind of love.
Just a different love.
We love each other but we don't always understand
One another.
I searched for reasons to be mad
Because I couldn't tell you the underlying problem.
Two different people with different expectations.
Not to say it's not ok to be two different people.
We were just too different.
I saw myself with you in the future.
You were fitted in a striking police uniform
And a warm smile overcoming your face.
We were getting ready for bed preparing for the next time
We wake together.
We chuckle softly,
As if a silly spoken word penetrated our force fields
And we were defenseless to one another.
Pulling one another close and
Holding on to every ending of every minute
In fear that it will be the last.
And we will be alone again.
Continue reading...
Overthought
Pitch Hiker Apr 2020
Overthought
I constantly overthink in fear
That I am always missing something
Missing something important
Or silly
I am so scared to be missing a key piece
Of information
And be made a fool of
By myself
For not thinking hard enough on it

That is why
I cannot simply stop overthinking
Everything there is to
Overthink
Continue reading...
Portal
Pitch Hiker Jan 2018
Portal
Imagine
Stepping through some
Amazing portal
That takes you to some
Completely amazing place
Where you are someone completely
New
Your name stays the same
But you become invincible
A place where you are granted super
Powers like no other
Adrenaline rushing nonstop
With 4 other people against 5
And you guys are ready to face
The world
Your ready to take on any opponent
Who threatens your world
Only because you love the battle
By stepping on the court
I’m stepping through my portal
Sometimes we walk away defeated
But always walk away champions
The game of futsal
Continue reading...
Putty Made From Heart
Pitch Hiker Aug 2017
Putty Made From Heart
I am no longer the fixer of problems
Just as I used to be
Im no longer searching for lost souls to bring
Into the found
No longer am I looking for broken
People to love back to whole hearts
I don't have enough of my heart left for that
Like masking tape
I used my heart as a bandage for other broken
Hearts that needed the repair more than I
Because I can handle living a broken life
But no longer can I hold peoples hearts together
With the glue I have made
From mashing my heart to putty
I don't have enough of me to keep freely giving away
To the wrong people
Ive made my cuts
And built my limits
I thought my supply was endless
Turns out Ive been running on empty
Continue reading...
Read My Thoughts
Pitch Hiker Oct 2017
Read My Thoughts
Hey mom
Thanks for staying up with me last night
I know you were tired
But I don't see you often anymore
Sorry I spend so much time a dads
I just get to see my friends
More often over there
Your never home it seems to me
Neither is dad
So I have to make due
I'm sorry I can be frustrating
Stubborn to the point that you
Look disappointed
I try not to disappoint
Hey dad
I'm sorry you think I'm ungrateful
You couldn't imagine how grateful I am
You got it all wrong
Don't assume so just because I haven't
Said so
I have something planed in my
Head for you
A special thank and I love you
But you don't give me time
You jump to conclusions than lead to
Disillusions of who your daughter
Might be
You don't know me and I recommend
Not trying to understand
I'm a millennial but I don't
Follow their pattern
I just share the same characteristics
I'm sorry you think I'm selfish
I can't imagine ever being that way
I'll remember how selfish I am
Next time I'm late to class
Because someone couldn't open
Their locker and was having a bad day
Next time I help someone carry
Something heavy because they were
Struggling
Next time I help someone who fell
And dropped all of their stuff
Next time I try to talk someone of
Committing suicide
I'll remember how selfish I am
I'm sorry you don't see all these things
I go through
I'm sorry they make me selfish
But let me tell you how much
I think of you and how alone you are
All the way up here
Im even more sorry you can't read my
Thoughts
Continue reading...
Ready to Say it
Pitch Hiker Feb 2018
Ready to Say it
This is not easy for me to do
I never thought I could get this
Out of my head and on to the paper
These thoughts that are trapped
In my heart
Need to be set free
I don't know what kind of person I am
I was once told I have a beautiful aura
What does that mean?
I think Im and Extrovert
Though people call me an exceptional
Introvert
I think Im both
Sorry
Im good at getting side tracked
And delaying the release of my words
I am a girl
I am a girl playing in a boys soccer league
It scares me sometimes
Its what I love
With people who love it
Most of the time I don't feel like I belong
I feel like a stone amongst shells
Out of place
Looked over
Other times I feel important
I strive to be important to them
I could never express how sorry I am
For the nasty comments our team gets
When they see me step on the court or field
But I can show them that being what I am
Makes no difference
Other than giving me an obstacle to conquer
Every time anyone thinks
We will be their easy win
Because you have me on your team
I make you look weak
I apologize
I promise I will be strong
And prove every doubt wrong
Because despite my feelings
I know this is where I really belong
Continue reading...
Real Coach
Pitch Hiker Sep 2017
Real Coach
I've got big ideas
I've got elaborate plans
I've got determination
For an entire team
I've got things to work on
I've got skills to improve
I've got passion that ignited years ago
Has never gone out and burns brighter
Everyday
I've got game smarts
I've got strategy
I've got fire
Maximum desire
And you take your hose
And contain all that I have
You deprive the team
Of the development they could have
You deprive me of leadership
You deprive yourself of a chance
To become soccer smart
Your not real soccer coaches
There's a difference between
Soccer coaches and school soccer coaches
Soccer coaches know the sport
They live and breath the sport
It's just your second job
All you care about is the win
Your selfish and unkind
I hope you learn what it's like to
Be a real coach one day
But your chances are slim
And it's very unlikely
Continue reading...
Regretting
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
Regretting
Today...
Today
I dream with a thoughtful smile
Was so great
These people did so much for me
These people were so amazing
I should have really thanked them
Walking into my apartment
My smile turns to a regretful mesh
Teeth bearing down
Today was the last day I will see
Those people
I won't see my teammates for
Another week
I didn't thank them right
They accepted me
I turned away when I had
Something to say
Hundreds of words stabbed my brain
All at once
Embarrassed reads my face
Thanks you says my eyes
Starting the shower I just sit and let
The cold water drown my regret
Let it blend my tears
Hugging my knees I find no
Comfort in knowing all my regrets
Continue reading...
School Buss
Pitch Hiker Dec 2017
School Buss
We are just kids on a school bus
We fill the bus with gossip
Tears, laughter
And the joy of daily conversations
With each others company for the
Hour we are stuck together
We are just kids on a school bus
On our way to greater things
Or less than
Planning to change the world
Wondering how
Or maybe not knowing if you will
Have any sort of affect
We are just kids on the school bus
Not knowing our worth
Losing our things
And accepting good deeds
For what their worth
We are just kids on a school buss
With the wheels going round and round
Continue reading...
Self Destruct
Pitch Hiker Feb 2018
Self Destruct
Hey
I always think this when I sit
Next to you in class
But I never say anything other than
Thanks or no problem
Something you would say to a stranger
But your not a stranger
No one in this room is a stranger to me
But still I exchange no words
The girl behind me to the left
Used to play jump rope with me
Way back in elementary
Her new best friend was in my
Gymnastics class when
The coolest thing we learned to do
Was to walk across a balance beam
And not fall a skill us 6 year olds
Had down to a science
Despite our time spent together
We could never have a conversation
Together
I witnessed people growing up around me
When I already understood
When adults say you will wish you were
Younger
At 10 I already did
At 16 I know the different worlds
I have no experience in
But already understand their concepts
And I see where’d there’s meaning
Stitched between fabrics
But I will never know why these worlds
Function the way they do
Why is a humans best invention
The self destruct button
Why does it work so well
My answer
Because when all attempts at our goal
Fail we wish for not anyone to see
What our failure has made of us
So we make a fancy red button
Label it “warning, self destruct button.”
“Do not push”
Suddenly people are enchanted
By the dare
And seeing the destruction
Causes pleasure to their innmost
Desire for complete collapse
Because that looks like something
Has been accomplished
Continue reading...
Simplicity
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
Simplicity
Simplicity
Sounds so easy
Every sun set falls through me
As if I'm the night
I can't be touched
Simplicity
So out of the ordinary
Something most people aren't used to
Simplicity
Acting like a puzzle
Suddenly becoming complex
Simplicity
Sounds so easy
When the rest of the world agrees
Simplicity so simple
Until it meets
Complexity
Continue reading...
Sin Masks
Pitch Hiker Jan 2018
Sin Masks
As I ran toward the dark
It was nothing but a void
As I entered I could see
Like I was granted with night vision
Objects took form
I saw there were no monsters
It wasn’t so scary
As my time drew to an end  
I reentered the light
And saw everyone was wearing mask
Scary mask
With words across the forehead
Like
Selfish
Greedy
Arrogent
And more
I hurried home to find my family
To see what became of their faces
The house looked normal
Though the air felt heavy
I entered into my house of 12 years
Instantly wanting to retreat
First entering my room
Finding my brothers
Flat on their backs on the floor
Sleeping
Trying to remove the mask to look at them
I couldn’t pull them off
The evil smiles mocked me
As if I were hoping to see the person I thought I knew
The way I knew them
They were not who they appeared
Their faces masked what really lie inside
I looked to my mirror
What I saw was who I really was
This side of me that now cover my face
Is who I really am
The word across my forehead
Stabbed my heart and forced against all of my morals
This word read....
Overcritical
Continue reading...
Sleeping Sharp Edges
Pitch Hiker Aug 2017
Sleeping Sharp Edges
Sitting in my room
It's kinda hard not to notice the words
On the walls
Surrounding your every glance
Singing around your head
Though they are there
I cant bring myself to read many of them
I started the journalism of the things
Inside of me that stabbed through my
Skin tearing apart my body
Just to get out
I know how I felt
In those times when I never thought
That they would fully leave me
That I'd be stuck with these
Sharp ridged edges inside me
For as long as eternity
I just can't look back at them
Like opening the door to the darkness
That  awaits just outside
Except that my violent shadows
Aren't on the outside trying to get in
They exist on the inside
Nesting and occasionally festering
I dare not wake them
So I turn off my light
So I risk not accidentally reading
Covering my window so sunlight
Won't betray me
I sit in dark silence
Singing my sharp edges to rest
I cannot welcome them
To breakfast in bed
I will not let myself feel that way
Ever again
Continue reading...
Stay Awake
Pitch Hiker Sep 2017
Stay Awake
My eyes remain heavy
Just like my heart
My head is learning the drums
Just like 10 year old would
Frequently and violently
Days that go so good
That I can't bare to leave them behind
As they beg me to stay frozen
In that frame of time
My hands once strong
Now shake with weakness
All the way to my  finger tips
My body says it's time to rest
I must keep thinking
I must cover every topic I do and don't
See and or list in a day
I must stay awake
Continue reading...
Strong
Pitch Hiker Jul 2018
Strong
The rain felt beautiful.
The grass stuck to my body itched
But I secretly miss that feeling
On any sunny day
I feel meaning in the way the field slants
Its always done that
The white paint has faded away
I love it when it stains my fingertips
Every shot leaves a tail of water
And the rippling sound of the ball sliding down the net
The way that the rain falls on me
Feels beautiful
Literally washing away my worries
As I never feel truly tired
As if every drop was distracting me
From my physical state
This makes me feel strong
Continue reading...
Sun In The Circles
Pitch Hiker Aug 2017
Sun In The Circles
Like a machine I draw circles
On my ceiling
Pretending each one is a sun
Suns of different ages and sizes
Suns that help to show me the light
They are my way of letting the light in
Because all there is behind my
Curtains is a walk
A blank empty
Teasing wall
That speaks of my desires
To break out from the dark
The dark best described
By trying to climb up a steep
Mountain of loose sand
Every step you fall further
Down till you've hit the quick sand
That drown the hopeful hikers
Drowning out their sound full dreams
And kills their fighting chance
Have you ever looked for the sun
In drawn circles on your ceiling?
Continue reading...
Sunrise
Pitch Hiker Feb 2018
Sunrise
I enjoy the rising sun
No matter what time it’s at
I enjoy the early morning noises
That make images in my head
Dance
I love the smooth glide of the boat
On the water
Watching the fish break the surface
All around you
The faint sound of your grandmother
Yelling breakfast!
Allowing you enough time
To hook up your pole
And slowly
Row row row yourself back to camp
Where scrambled eggs home fries
And English muffins await you
Once your meal has been enjoyed
You are left with endless options
To fill your day
Just don’t be caught sitting inside
Or playing on your cellular device
Because then you would be
Neglecting our way of camp life
Continue reading...
Take Air In Let Air Out
Pitch Hiker Jun 2018
Take Air In Let Air Out
Exhale
Release all that you can't control
Inhale
Take in the beauty
Exhale
Everything weighing you down
It's hard to swim with rocks
In your lungs
It hard to keep your head above water
When your thoughts are so dense
You cannot be apart of the world
That you carry on your shoulders
Though you may be strong enough
To hold the Earth high
Sarah Kay explains
"Your hands will always be too small
To catch all the pain you want to heal"
So take a step back
Away from your solution
That is not where the answer lies
I can't save people I've never met
As long as you keep acting as this
Stranger I can't save you
As long as you keep on not wanting to
Be saved
I can't help you
I will not restrain you
Or lock you in chains
I will only give you a better option
Its up to you to listen and follow me
Continue reading...
The Book Known As Me
Pitch Hiker Jan 2018
The Book Known As Me
Oh so you know me
All because I told you I
Was an open book
Sorry pal
You don’t know me
You haven’t yet read me
You can’t skip pages
Because I don’t make sense
Ever so skipping is like
Never reading me
You don’t know me
Because I have no ending yet
If you can’t start and continue
Put me on the shelf
Never take a second look
Because when you let me open
I will read in to you
I will read the words written
In your eyes
I’ll connect  with you
I will discover your habits
And listen to what your body posture
Tells me
I may not have the best introduction
But my story is not meant to be
Perfunctory
It is no routine
It’s everything about me and the people
Who formed me
So come open me up
Come and read my lonely pages
Continue reading...
The Cold
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
The Cold
The cold  invites itself to render my hands still and sore
The cold threatens to numb my emotions
  And freeze my stare
The cold colors my lungs so they're blue
And have stopped their main function
The cold isolates my mind from reality
And I
I am in solitude
Continue reading...
The Course of Our Lives
Pitch Hiker Feb 2018
The Course of Our Lives
Life is influenced very easily
Everyday is a series of intersections
Interactions with new people
Change your course within seconds
Simply by smiling at you
My life was changed by a strangers tears
That inevitably led to the flood of mine
Just by having met someone for an hour
Led me to take new roads
Teaching me to make my own
With no signs to guide you
You seem to always be lost
Its scary
No turn feels right
When you think your lost
But whatever turn you take
May it lead you to greater things
Or worse
It was still the right choice
Sometimes you will have accidents
Thats ok because it just means your human
There will be times where we are going too fast
All you have to do is take your foot off the gas
Slow down
Even stop if you need to
There are times we run out of gas
It will be alright
Someone will have extra to carry you
To the nearest station
There are also times when our cars don't start
This is when it is ok
To say your not ok
It won't last very long
Someone will give you a jumpstart
They'll need your help
So don't lose hope
Your heart will start running again
And it will know where to go
Whether your brain knows it or not
You will never have a single set destination
Always you will keep moving
And changing directions
This is the course of our lives
Continue reading...
The New Kid
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
The New Kid
Not much I wish to know about this kid
I never wished to meet with preconceived ideas of adulthood
He is the taste of the free adulthood that they think they've been missing out on
He's just another relatable tortured boy
But there are yearning for freedom from restrictions is too strong for them to realize
They follow him like a leader of some cult
Because **** and alcohol a role model's not even Nelson Mandela can face
They are easier to reach than he is
It's easier to make contact with the Pfister a foot and a hand to hand handshake
And easier to be ignored rather than being one of millions saying there something ****** wrong with this place
It's ugly and I see more of it sometimes then I intend to
And I just get angry like the rest of them
But what the hell
Continue reading...
The Team We Once Were
Pitch Hiker Jul 2017
The Team We Once Were
Scrolling has never been
Something I do
Blanking out is also new
I've always been aware
Always making good use of my time
Now I've lost myself
Losing my sense of wonder
Has left my hands holding on
To nothing but sand
Every grain pouring through my fingures
My goals are just figures
In the distance that's accelerates
Away from me and my main stream
Dream
My determination
Passion will and I were once
A dream team
Covered the most ground in the least
Amount of time
We left our opponents in the dust
But at the end of every game
No matter what went down
Shook hands with them
Our pride left on the field
Our palms connect as a thank you
For the challenge
That was a great thing to be
But my members left me
One by one till it was just me
And passion
Continue reading...
The Thoughts I Think
Pitch Hiker May 2018
The Thoughts I Think
I wish I had a type writer
Or scribe in my head
Something to document all the thinks
I thought
I mean all the thoughts I think
So I would never have to remember
A think that once was thought
So many things I wish I could say
With no way to organize them
I need filing cabinets for each thought
I ever think
With the click of a search button
I will visualize my thoughts and feelings
Checking over for spelling mistakes
Making sure everything is the way its suppose to be
I wish I had a type writer
Or scribe in my brain
To keep track of all the silly things
That I think I thought
So when Im old, lonesome, and
Half the soul I am today
I will have those documents
To keep me full
Continue reading...
Things I Need To Say
Pitch Hiker May 2018
Things I Need To Say
Turn your face to me
These are things
You can't say over the phone
You can't comprehend my courage
Through a text
I refuse to say this while looking away
Because every word I say
Are things my heart wants you to know
Are true
We met like two movie characters do
All it took was you to feel confident
Where would we be
If you never called me pretty
If I chose not to dance
Or you didn't like the way I danced
Cliché's are beautiful when you mean them
So know your words are beautiful if you mean them
You have made these monsters
That I have been fighting
Disperse and become oblivion
Things that scare me
Don't seem so scary
I trust you to make these fears
Apart of my history
And die with the past
My thinking is over thought
But I think the world of you
And all your idiosyncrasy's
Because their something phenomenal
And perpetual
Hypnotizing and promising
Tackling life with you
Sounds like a good plan to me
If your in we can really feel free
That is what you and you alone
Mean to me
So when I hold your hand
Give you a hug
Im doing it to express
The feelings my heart feels
When I neglect to do these its not because
I don't feel those things
I just need to think
Clear and clean my thoughts
So my feelings are not contaminated
With negative ones
You are radical and I have become
Your biggest fan
Continue reading...
Think Again
Pitch Hiker May 2018
Think Again
Don't think That Im just some sad story
Sitting in the second seat
From the front of the bus
Im not a tortured artist
Expelling beauty from my mind
Or in graceful actions
That is a life style I wasn't destined for
Greatness is something I strive for
I have goals
However sometimes
I convince myself how impossible
They are to accomplish
When I get ****** into this
Tornado madness
I lock into my safe house
In that safe house
Is memories of me
Breaking through all the goals I set
Achieving the things most people
Thought I could and would never do
I stop the storm from tearing apart my hopes
And from destroying my dreams
I find a drop of faith
I use it to water my tree
That tree grows and grows
It blossoms
It becomes what others thought it would never be
It was called a ****
It became the tallest tree that the world
Has ever seen
Never forgetting its roots
Continue reading...
Think Happy Thoughts
Pitch Hiker Oct 2017
Think Happy Thoughts
Mentally I don't know where to start
Something feels wrong
But I don't know what
Then it shouldn't bother me
If I don't know
Something just feels so wrong
My chest is tight
My heart strains for some reason
It's breaking
I'm thinking happy thoughts but my
Stomach it keeps on turning
Thinking happy thoughts
But my head is pounding
Think happy thoughts
I've never felt so sad
Think happy thoughts
Think happy thoughts
All I can think about is that statement
No really happy thoughts cross my mind
Think happy thoughts
At least I'm distracted
Think happy thoughts!
******
Think happy
Think happy
Just be happy!
Continue reading...
Think You Can Break Me #501
Pitch Hiker Oct 2017
Think You Can Break Me #501
I invite you
To hate me
Hate my hair
Hate my face
Hate my body
And my place
Hate my personality
Hate my passion
Hate my reality
Hate my choices
And my voices
Hate my way of thinking
And the way I talk
Hate my solitary
And my ability
Hate my education
Hate my imagination
Light my world on fire
Theres not much to burn
I fire proofed it all
I knew you were coming
So talk behind my back
Spread the hate like frosting on your sour cake
Im not the one eating it
I try to be kind and I try to lend a smile to anyone
Who could use it
But you took mine and snapped it over your knee
Or I could say you tried
Instead your left with an amputated leg
Done in your own sense of ration
You tried to break me
And your efforts
Costed you a limb
So have a nice day
I hope things start to go your way
Continue reading...
This Winter Storm
Pitch Hiker Jan 2018
This Winter Storm
The sky is grey
But sun still blinding
It was snowing and cold
It’s that time of year again
I Feel like it’s always winter
I miss out on spring summer
And fall
Like the fast forward button is
Put into action and I’m cold again
I thought I liked it this way
Since when did it start to scare me away
Could it have been only yesterday
I would run through the white
As if there were no such thing as
Frost bite and just live
Since when did snowmen
Become pointless
When did snowball fights
Become boring
When did playing in the snow lose it’s ring
I’ve always loved New England
But now I’m ready to leave
To follow the warmth when it gets cold
And to follow the cold when it gets warm
But the cold dark nights are always
Within me
That’s just my nature
Winter is my personality
I am always stuck within this winter storm
D
Continue reading...
Time to Open
Pitch Hiker Mar 2018
Time to Open
I’m tired of closing myself off to the world
I’m tired of saying bye before I’ve
Even said hi
I’m tired of shaking hands with people I’ll never make eye contact with again
So welcome in
If you like
I would like you to be apart of my life
It may not be an amusement park
But I’m a big clown for you to laugh at
When you need to laugh
It rains and it snows here
But not all the time
Welcome, this is my life
So predictable but I’ll always take you by surprise
I’m a contradiction within a contradiction
You don’t have to figure me out
I’m not a math problem
And my value does not need to be found
I’m not a poem
I don’t rhyme or fit right
Don’t use metaphors to describe me
Because a metaphor can’t explain me
So welcome to my life
Watch your step
And always be kind
My doors are open for a short amount of time
The only problem you will face is how to keep them open
When I’m ready for closing
Continue reading...
Title
Pitch Hiker Jan 2019
Title
The worst part
Is that
I break
My own heart
When I fear
Someone else will
Continue reading...
To Be Held
Pitch Hiker Jan 2019
To Be Held
I feel less kind
I care but I can't show it
Because I am angry all the time
This anger isolates
As I close my gates
I have been trying to reach out
But you just play that song
"I still wanna break your heart and make you cry"
You don't know why
And I don't know why I want so badly
To be held
I want to be your protector
But will you be mine
I want to be your lover
But will you love me
I want to hold your hand
But will you hold mine
I'm not into this whole love scene
But I have given you the stage
Because you mean something
To me
Please don't go on to steal the show
Don't break the pieces of my heart that
I have given you
Just to make a point
Please just hold me in a hug
So I will no longer be an island lost
Beneath the sea
Continue reading...
Trust
Pitch Hiker Dec 2017
Trust
I am learning to trust
Myself
I now see the things I’m capable of
It makes me feel in control
I take bigger risk when I know there’s
A greater gain
And it doesn’t matter if anyone agrees
I let my heart take the lead now
I get further that way
I’m exploring new things
Taking on leadership
And assuming it
I’m breathing confidence and grasping
Attention from those willing to donate
Their eyes and ears their heart and mind
Hopefully I can take the time and bloom it
Take all arrogance and boom it
Just listen to my voice I will  be loud
Just look to my eyes I will
Maintain eye contact and focus
This is important to me
Continue reading...
Understanding My Feelings
Pitch Hiker Oct 2017
Understanding My Feelings
I don't understand my feelings
That should scare you
That statement is your only warning
That I could explode at any moment
When I do I won't know whats going on
I will not be that same girl you know
I will not mean what I do
I usually say what I mean in ways I don't mean
I will be out of control in a controlled
Whirlwind
Or
I will disappear
I may not be heard from for awhile
Solitude will be my antidote
Silence my remedy
Don't take me from this time to myself
You will be corrupting data
And I will have to start from scratch
With new materials to help me
Understand my feelings
Continue reading...
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