I am not who you see
Or you would describe me
As passionate
Or limit breaking
I am not who you see
Apparently
Im undeserving
Or embarrassing
So why am I on your team
I am not who you see
Or you would notice my drive
I am not who you see
Or you would feel the intensity
I carry with me like a backpack
But when I put on my red jacket
You will be seeing me
When I put on my red jacket
You will awe at my passion
You will watch me break limits
Over and over again till the limits are
Unbreakable
When I put on my red jacket
You will see Im more than deserving
That by underestimating me you are only
Embarrassing yourself
Want to know why Im playing for your team
Because I love what I do
I love it to the point where I let arrogance speak at me
And scuffle past me
When I put on my red jacket
You will notice my drive for the game
You will feel my intensity to its full capacity
Because that red jacket is a symbol
Of what I can accomplish
Its a symbol that someone sees my ability as
Progressive
That jacket will tell you that I have learned a lot
It will show you that I belong to a greater team
Who you could never compare to
Sorry that thats not who you see

Jeez I'm a sad story
Not really
But maybe
One of many
Maybe similar to others
But you haven't seen
A story like mine
(End of journal entry)

Like a machine I draw circles
On my ceiling
Pretending each one is a sun
Suns of different ages and sizes
Suns that help to show me the light
They are my way of letting the light in
Because all there is behind my
Curtains is a walk
A blank empty
Teasing wall
That speaks of my desires
To break out from the dark
The dark best described
By trying to climb up a steep
Mountain of loose sand
Every step you fall further
Down till you've hit the quick sand
That drown the hopeful hikers
Drowning out their sound full dreams
And kills their fighting chance
Have you ever looked for the sun
In drawn circles on your ceiling?

Sorry
I don't remember you
Faces leave my memory
Just as they leave my sight
Sorry
I don't think I know you
I probably did but the past only
Counts as that
If I knew you I don't know you
Sorry
I don't archive conversation well
So I didn't know we already covered
Those topics
Hey I'm gonna go
I don't know you
Or what your talking about
And I won't remember this
So bye stranger in the past
Sorry that that's all you will be

Today my eyes faded grey
They kept looking for a glimpse
Of dream
I had to remind them that
Dreams they have left
They will not return for a while
My eyes only got lighter
Till I had to close them
For I could see nothing
They blinded themselves
If they could not see
Some semblance of future
For me
They wanted no part in my present
So they went grey
My blue eyes
Fogged
Like the blue sky on a cloudy day
How do you know
That the sky is still blue