im ugly
im worthless
im nothing
i cry
i cut
i wish to feel different
i feel alone
not begging for attention
sleepless nights
the world is ****** place
over thinking
stay?

Life
Born to live
Child to live
Teenager to live
Adult to live
Motherhood to live but gone
Couples to live but not never happen
Beaten an abused looking for love but all I found was a fool
Had one but gone to soon
Friends to live but only found a few
Taken by pain I cried
Take by angry I will rise
Taken by love to survive
Sleeping at night to cry to feel alone I want to died
Happy but sad
Sad but happy
Everyday is a struggle
Time pass by
Lay here wanting for what I cant hide
Talk is cheap but why you lie
Honestly trustworthy I could cry
Why why why
May never know why
Live laugh love is a crime
Age old but people think I lied
Poor but pretty is that a crime
Again though no answers why
Time for sleep so the day can arrive
Bad thoughts try to climb
Good thoughts try to jump high
Come on you must know why
Death....
My story not over with guys.

Sign
When I talk your there
When I think you there
When I dream your there
When I cry I wish you were here
When u talk I'm there
When you think I'm there
When you dream I'm differently there
When you cry I wish I was there
Theres signs I seen them
Theres signs I feel them
There signs i know them

As I sleep one night long ago
I had a dream some i remember some i dont
Feels so real
Felt like nothing i have ever felt before
The parts i remember I'm happy
The parts I dont I'm sad
As I sleep other night long ago
I had other dream
Again some I remember some I dont
Again feels so real
Again felt like nothing I felt before
Is it wrong to feel this way I ask myself that  every day

As I sit in the fields of flowers n grass
I pick the smalls one
I look at it
I keep it
I let it go
Where ends up no one will ever know
Could grow again you never know
It could lay there wishing someone would hold it tight and never let it go
That poor little flower will never know
I feel bad I let it go
I go and find it
I pick it up
And hold it tight
Telling it I will never let ya go

walking bam im there  
talking bam i'm there
standing bam im there
sitting bam im there
laying bam i'm there
sleeping bam i'm there
these are the things  i will be there for when you need me
dark hours bam im there
drinking bam im there
crying bam i'm there
i need you bam im there
theses are the things i will be there for when you need me
love bam i'm there
crying bam im there
theses are the things  i will be there for when you need me
bam

being crazy is hard i feel like crying
being crazy is hard i feel like dying
being crazy is hard i feel like running away
being crazy is hard i feel like laying
being crazy is hard i feel like talking
beng crazy is hard i feel like nothing
being crazy is hard i feel like i don't belong
being crazy is hard i  feel like sleeping
being crazy is hard i feel like dreaming
being crazy is hard i feel like .....
being crazy is fucken hard

being crazy is hard
you dont wanna cry you wanna run away
lay back down
take a nap
take a walk
take a pill
crying without knowing why
feeling like your alone
drink drink drink
being crazy is hard
take a stand
take it day by night
thoughts thoughts thoughts
holding your hand
laying on your lap
let it all out
being crazy is hard

day time put  on a show
day time make them laugh
day time make them talk
day time run around
day time sleep
switch
night time alone
night time sad
night time lonely
night time no one around
night time sleep for now

walking home all alone on a cold winter night herding nothing but silents
so peaceful you don't know if someone is crying if someone is lying if someone is talking if someone is sleeping
but it doesn't matter cause you are alone
walking home alone in the dark thinking  i  can overcome these thoughts
walking home all alone in the dark you see two people holding hands
while walking home all alone in the dark you reach home and look around crawling to bed
sound asleep you are dreaming of nothing but when  you wake to *** you see me standing there
what should i do
but stand there watching you .

what does one say ?
what does one do ?
what does one feel ?
what does one think?
what does this all mean?
when one can say
when one can do
when one can feel
when one can think
this means one is whole
i think not
one does not feel an think alike one can only imagine
what now you say
i say doesn't matter one will listen?
you can ask
i think if you do then the world will and you have peace will overcome

I write for it brings me peace
I write for it has no time
I write to be happy
I write to he sad
I write to tell
I write an write
I dont need a reason
Its none of business
I keep to myself
I feel no rush
I want it go away
I can pretend so well
I maybe a actress you will never tell
I lie to cover your feeling
I lie to cover your wants and needs
I want to sleep and let it all come out in my dreams.

I'm happy.
I'm sad
I'm glad
I'm mad
Im confused
I'm laughing
I'm lost
I'm found
I'm loved
I'm hated
I'm pain
I'm scars
I'm abuse
I'm beaten
I walk
I sit
I lay
I stand
I cry
I dont
I sleep
I dont
I feel like I have no one
But yet I  do .

Your smile
Your hands
Your body
Your mouth
Your heart
Your eyes
Your laugh
Your feelings
Your mind
Your soul
Your just what I think about

A poem by me
Crying
Sitting
Laying
Crying
Crying
Crying
Thinking
Thinking
Thinking
I feel so lost
I feel so sad
I feel so well I dont know anymore
Like time has no hands
And days have no time
Memories  have lasted
Memories have gone
What now
What should i do
What  should i feel
I have  words
I have thoughts
I'm ............

i find myself thinking of you
i find myself dreaming of you
i find myself talking to you
i find myself crying for you
i find myself wishing of you
i find myself wondering about you
i find myself going crazy over you
why why why
do i feel this way i never wanted to
i don't want to feel anything but i do
i know  you don't about me but a girl can wish
i wish you cared
i wish you would
i wish you lay next to me
i wish you look at the moon with me and the stars too

you know your connected to someone when you feel them when they are not around
you know your connected to someone when you can tell how they are feeling without knowing
you know your connected to someone when you can dream bout them
you know your connected to someone when you can think of them on any random day
you know your connected to someone when you can think of them on any random night
you know your connected to someone when you have a gut feeling that it's true
you know your connected to someone when well you just know

good for those who loved this time of year and want to celebrate it
the tree is up
the lights are up
the gifts are wrapped
the food is cooking
the drinks are flowing
the pets are sleeping
the family is talking
the friends are visiting
the snow is falling
the stores are closing  
the weather is freezing
time of year to be happy  
this time of year is when you don't want to celebrate it wants to be alone
the tree is nowhere to be found
the lights aren't up
no gifts wanted
no food cooking  
maybe some drinks
the pets are there for you
the family not around
the friends not talking
the snow is here
the stores are closed
the weather is  making it hard for you
time of year to be depressed

I don't wanna be here no more
I don't wanna feel anymore
I dont wanna deal
I don't wanna say
I don't wanna love no more
I dont wanna hold on no more
I don't wanna say it
I don't wanna be here no more come take me
I don't cry for help
Maybe I should **** myself
Maybe I'm not listening
Maybe I should run so far away to scream
Maybe maybe maybe
But we know I wont
Maybe i can be where people know
Maybe just maybe but who ******* knows
Time heal what heart wants nope not mine i rather died then feel this
Maybe maybe sleep will help

Sit
Lay
Sit
Lay
Look at the clock the hands go around
Thinking of everything that goes on
Why I am not laying with you
Why I am thinking of you
Why I am dreaming of you
Why why why
I dont have the answer only you do
I listen to your words
I repeat them in my head
I listen to songs remind me
I sing then to make me feel good
I want to scream
But it wont help
Take as I am
Little ****** up
Little insane
Little crazy
My soul keeps asking me
What should I say when I don't know what to say
Come with me and walk through the woods where we can lay a d up at the same moon and stars

Knockin on heavens door
Yes can I help u
Take me away from here I can't do this anymore
I try I try
I feel like I need be here
No u dont ppl love u
Ok well it don't feel like it
Yes they do
Well why don't tell me
Well probably cause they think you know and don't need tell ya
Well they should I need them to
Well tell them
Why should I
Cant I come here so peaceful and quiet here
Cause it's not your time to he here
Well I think it is make room for me
No I can't
Why
Cause I told why
But
No go home
But
There no buts I said go
But I wanna cry
Well cry then it will help
You will see me
Yes I'll be watching
Ok
Please don't forget me
Oh I won't

thoughts in my head are telling me so many things
i don't want to listen  to them no more but they seem to always find their way back home .
I try to run from them but no use they know where i'll be
I try to walk away from them but yet again they know will ill be
i sit and think think think
why do i feel like this
being crazy is hard i feel like crying
i want to feel happy again but all i feel is sadness and loneliness
i think of cutting its my only way out
but that little voice in my head said no no no no no no
so back to my  thoughts against
now time for sleep
maybe i'll be better the next day

i sit and look out the window wondering if your thinking of me to
i sit and look out the window wondering if your talking bout me
i sit and look out the window wondering if you are ok
i sit and look out the window wondering if  you will ever know
i lay here thinking and thinking
i lay here not knowing what's going on
i lay here wondering all kinds of what ifs
i walk to think
i walk to see
but nothing is there where it should be i think i'm going crazy with my own **** thoughts but im use it so it does bother me with these thoughts
i wish things could og the way i believe but nothing will be ever be
i see the moon shining so bright
it knows how i feel and what i do
i know it will never be true
the moon knows all my secrets an you will never
i go back to the window sitting thinking an thinking
wishing i could go to sleep but nope it's not in the cards for me
so i'll lay here thinking of everything and let it all make do .

i sit and look out the window wondering what the world is doing
i sit and look out the window wondering what the world is saying
i sit and look out the window wondering what the world is talking
i sit and look out the window wondering what the world is crying
i sit and look out the window wondering what the world is walking
i sit and look out the window wondering what the world is laughing
i sit and look out the window wondering what the world is sleeping
i sit and look out the window wondering what the world is feels like
i sit and look out the window wondering what the world is running from  
sitting looking out the window

Walking down the praved road of hell
Its all quite not one sound
All the lights are on no shadows to be founded
Your body cold  wishing it  was warm
Rain starts to come down you wish you were home right now
You keep on walking until you reach  home
Once inside you the home of hell and you dont want to be founded right there.
So change into night and as you sleep so bright
The moon gets jealous at that site
But doesnt want break the fight
So you stop and look around
Warm to snuggle
Right to sleep for this town.

World does not know this

I will walk with you but the world does not know this
I will talk with you but the world does not know this
I will hold you but the world does not know this
I will lay with you but the world does not know this
I will cry with you  but the world does not know this
I will sit with you but the world does not know this
I will be there for you but the world does not know this
I could never let you  go but again the world does not know this .

Do not know this

I walk with you
I talk with you
I hold with you
But you do not know this
I cry with you
I sit with you
I stand with you
But you do not know this
I lay with you
I sit with you
I'm here or there with you
But you know do not know this
I do not let you know this for you will cry if you ever knew
But I'm here watching you .

Miss you
I miss you  as  I sleep
I miss you as I eat
I miss you  as I talk
I miss you  as I walk
I do not talk bout it cause it wont bring you  back
Other year with out you here as people take a drink to remember you
You smile down an alot as we due our daily duty
If I could turn back the time I would never have let you  read what I wrote it stills to this day
But I know you never want me blue
So happy birthday to you
For lance rip

U look down n c the most beautiful flower
U look around n dont c no more
U wonder y there is only one  lil flower
When there is a field
All is empty but that lil flower
But it still grows as if nothing ever happen
U think that poor lil  flower feels all alone
But it doesnt cause its knows that when u feel alone u r still whole
But the next day the flower noticed that he wasn't alone cuz other flower  was started to grow
N that lil poor flower wasn't alone no more.
And that day is when the lil flower realized he loved other flower
U c the lil flower didnt wanna be left alone in this world but didnt want look for other flower so  he waited to c if other flower would come by
N when she did he felt like nothing would ever hurt him again.

your the sun when i'm sad
you the tears that fall down from my face
your the air that i breathe
your the cuddle when i'm cold
your the happiness that i see
your the help that i need
your everything i wanted
i could be the air you breathe
i could be the cuddle that you need
i could be happiness your longing for
i could be the help when you need
iam everything you ever wanted

make a wish
why would i do that
for you to have the wish you want
i do wish every night and day for it
well maybe if you wish harder it will come true
no i don't think so
why you say that
cause i long for the person to see not hear
well sometimes you have to make them hear you
well i do but i speak with my mind body and soul
well that will do it and dream it
and the person will feel you and you will never had to wish again cause they will feel you and you can speak to each other and that way people will never know you speak.

lonely
funny
sad
happy
crying ly
smart
loving
friendly
gone
forgotten
smile when you hit the ground
clumsy
smart
wise in the time
think
laying in the fire of hell
walking
running
come across the trees
screaming screaming
but no one hears
stop
go
stand staring at the beautiful site
how
and where
but time for sleep
dreaming dreaming dreaming

walking into the woods you go deep enough to see but not deep enough to breathe
standing there you think of everything an you start to scream getting louder and louder and then all of sudden you see yourself wondering around
you see yourself standing thinking i'm  high ?
what do you see
it's yourself is coming down  to look at you
you want to walk away
you are wondering why you see yourself not doing anything but again
your voice goes numb from all the screaming  but you dont care
the animals are playing with the bodies of the dead you go away cause that makes you sick  
you still see  yourself walking not feeling anything
you wonder why you dont and the same know why
so you walk up to yourself and all of sudden you and yourself come together as one an walk the long path into the lights.

When you feel it
When you touch it
When you love it
When you like it
When you say it
When you cry it
When you lay with it
When you hold it
It will speak louder then anything and you will know that is where you  wanna be
If I know it
If I see it
If I speak it
You **** well know  I can feel it
Everything I say and feel comes true
So this cant be wrong ?
Then why do I feel so sad?

run run
run run
in in
to to  
the the
woods woods
to to
scream scream
louder lounder
until until
i i
lose lose
my my
voice voice
!!
i i
dont dont
wanna wanna
be be
here here
no no
more more
please please
god god
take take
away away
my my
pain pain
i i
will will
cut cut
so so
deep deep
so so \
i dont i dont
have have
to to
scream scream
no no
more more
god god
send send
down down
your your
angle angel
to to
free me free me
from from
this this
world world
are you coming ?

how do i say this without sounding foolish
how do i do this without sounding foolish
how do i know without sounding foolish
how ?
i know i can say
i know i can do it
i know i can
but how ?
your like a tree looking for water
your like the birds looking for shelter
your like rain when it comes down
your the sun
your the moon
but again how?
i will sit here thinking until it drives nuts
but i'll sleep and maybe i won't
show me the way so ill know how

i want to sit with you
i want to talk with you
i want to lay with you
i want to hold you
i want so many things in this life but some will never be
as i write an think of things to say your what i think of and want to say
the universe has brought us together for a reason  i don't know what it could be but would love to find out
i know there's no change of it but a girl can dream can't she ?
but then again your in my dreams
i will not hurt you
i will not abandon you in your time of need
i will not run away
i will not walk away
i will not just will not that's not me
you will take a chance on me ?

i use to feel happy
i use to feel sad
i use to feel altogether
i use to feel  all alone
i use to feel loved
i use to feel lonely
i use to feel here
i use to feel there
i use to feel gone
i use to feel forgotten
i use to feel aloud
i use feel quite
i use to feel safe
i use to feel everything now
i feel nothing

i watch you walk
i watch you talk
i watch you listen
i watch you sit
i watch you  just being you
i don't know why i do the things  i do just to watch you
but all i know is i could never leave its like a drug and drink just for awhile you feel nothing but then when its gone you feel unwanted so i watch as you do the things you do just know ill never leave you all lone.

Poem by me
In my  dreams you were there and that makes happy
In my  dreams we were laughing
In my dreams nothing could hurt us
But when I'm a wake I cry I think I wonder I cut
I miss you like you were never mine
I just wish I could make you see
Why do you make me feel this way
I never wanted to feel this way
But something about you makes me wanna find out
I could dream of you all day but still ask why
I wish I could make you see but that will never be but you have eyes for ones who dont see
But I'll dream of you every time
They say when you dream of someone they miss you
I want to hold you
I want to feel you
I want to lay with you
I want to talk to you
Dreams do come true
I wish I had that luck but not me all I can do is dream

Poem by me
When
When you talk
When you walk
When you sleep
When you cry
When you hold me
When you dance
When you smile
When you write
When you read
When you look at me I feel all warm insdie
You make me feel there's nothing I cant do and that makes me happy I'll never want to cry

I cried inside
Poem by me
When you hold me I cried inside
When you told me I cried inside
When you  talk I cried inside
When you walked on by I cired inside
When you held me I cried inside
When  I say hi I cired inside
When I talked I cried inside
When I asked why I cired insdie
Only time I didnt  cry was when you hold me tight and then I asked why and then I cried.

Poem by me

Hold on
Dont go
Y no one cares anyways
Yes some do
Who
If they do they dont say
I just wanna go
Jump of that stupid bridge
Dont ur loved
Why
I feeling coming on
Hold on
No dont wanna
Stop it
No
Yes
Think
Think lil more
No
Leave me alone
In gonna do it
Do what
Jump.

come with me
come now
why you ask
cause i said so
you wait to think
but you know you want to
so you do
we walk into the woods and look at each other deep in the eyes and our souls come together as they kiss and we stand there watching them.
They look so happy and peaceful
it's getting cold and dark and the moon is shining and our souls leave
we go our spend ways but that moment will ever forget

walking along the street when the wind blows and you hear me say your name you better run cause i will take your soul
and let my demons play with it and as it does you will be screaming help me  ill be standing there  laughing cause you got  everything that god wished for you to get remember that
as a priest is doing exorcism on you and when you see me next  you look away  i laugh some more cause i'm not done playin with you yet .

Come with me down this path as we walk we can talk n talk until there is nothing left to say n keep walking in slients.
listening to the birds n watching the near by water fall.
As we watch lil tiny fairy's are flying around its looks so peaceful cuz the lights makes the sky light up and when you look up all you can see is the lovely lil fairy's
An tiny bit of light now as we go and sit on tree stub and thank the lil fairy's for the beautiful site

i was born in 1982
i was lonely childhood
i was lonely high school years
i was lonely child
i was born in 1982
i was born in 1982
i was in loved with the wrong one
i was lonely
i was a mother
i was called names
i was born in 1982
i was born in 1982
i was in loved again
i was beaten
i was lonely
i was born in 1982
i was born in 1982
i was happy
i was sad
i was angry
i was happy again
i was sad again
i was born in 1982
i was born in 1982
i was happy yet again
i was sad so sad again
can't seem to get out of it i just wanna died
i was happy again
i was sader again
i was lost so lost
i was happy happy happy
now im ..........
i was born in 1982
i was born in 1982

stop stop stop stop
why why why why
cause cause cause cause
listen listen listen listen
talk talk talk talk
walk walk walk walk
stop stop stop stop
listen listen listen listen
time time time time
to to to to
play play play play
not so not so not so not so
nice nice nice nice
jump jump jump jump

everything gonna be alright
everything gonna be alright
everything gonna be alright
i think of what
i think of why
i think of when
i think of  how
i think of if
i think now
everything gonna be alright
everything gonna be alright
everything gonna be alright
i think of fighting
i thin of cutting
i think of what's in your head
i think go now
i think stop
i think of walking
everything gonna be alright
everything gonna be alright
everything gonna be alright
i think i think i think
everything gonna be alright

i like that your lonely  like me i must be a fool
i like that your broken like me i must be a fool
i like that your sad like me i must be a fool
i like that you're happy like me i must be a fool
i like that your angry like me i must be a fool
i like that your ugly like me i must be a fool
i like that your listening to music like me i must be a fool
i like that your hungry like me i must be a fool
i like that your liar like me i must be a fool
i like that your fighter like me i must be a fool
i like your warrior like me i must be a fool
i like your emotional roll raster like me i must be a fool
i like your like me i must be a fool