I don't understand why things happens,
hurt by people that I loved includes,
my family,
friends and ex-friends that i don't talk to,
and also don't get much support from them,
my pain doesn't show much physically,
but mentally it shows,
I wish that I would made my pain to end,
but don't know how.
I deserve ever bad karma comes to me,
I learn my punishment just made me even more pain,
i want it to end.

I feel sometimes that my life wasn't easy,
My pain that gives me the burden,
I feel a burden to my family,
And also my friends,
Even though I don't have a lot of,
I have one of them that I don't talk to,
Because that some things that hard to talk about,
I feel like I am a burden to her,
And I can't stand it,
I been through enough of feeling like this,
I feel like I get emotional that I cried so easily that I can't take it anymore,
Sometimes that I can't handle this life
Anymore,
I want to be free from a burden.

I always ask that question to myself
Am I broken?
I feel like it,
I see myself like it,
and always feel invisible in certain things.
So yea I am broken.
But what people think of me?
I don't know,
not a lot of them tells me that.
Maybe some people did,
I still don't know why I never notice what they think,
cause I have been anti-social for a long time.
So that a reason why.
I don't know anymore.

The time that I was in the tenth grade in high school, I started to write poetry and stories. I never forgotten when someone in my life made me feel like this, like a weak person that is been very hurtful to me.

Even though that we went to our separate ways, it doesn't change the pain away. Like one time me and them always share poetry and them threw me away and she threw the friendship necklace away and I never forget what it looks like.

I like to put an example of of old poem that I could try to remember. It was about true friendship and never will break away.

'When I first met you,
We were enemies and become best friends,
We grew until something bad happened,
And we came back together,
Our friendship will last forever,
True friends tells each other the truth and never lie to each other,
That why we are indescribable.'

I was hurt when I saw this and it made me feel so weak in my life and sometimes that I don't know why I am here anyways?

I had people in my life that I was been bullied and I been thrown away like no one cares or sees my problems.

Well it's life and no one knows why. I don't know why things happens.

More reasons why I am like this is that my personality are strange and weird, and mostly of my AntiSocial life. Well depression,
anxiety, eating disorder, and others that I have that made me what I am.

I don't have many friends physical cause I don't go out much like I stay home all the time. That my life. My isolation that my family made me feel worse and I don't know why this happens to me between them and me?

I don't deserve this for what I get from them, some of my family doesn't talk to me. They would be a work, be busy or doing something that I don't know about. I want to be free and I been hurt too many times and I wish that I get out of here where I live at and moved on. My past still haunts me since I was 4 years old.

I guess I deserve for what I get for granted. :(

I feel a burden to everyone,
I feel like I have nothing,
My mind is killing me when I feel like this,
When no one around me and no one to talk to,
I feel down and depressed,
Mostly worse than that,
Deep down inside of me that my life have been worse by the day,
And not my family by 80% not been there for me with my problems,
Even though that they say that they're, but not really,
Even though that I have a few friends online,
Their mostly doing something or going to work or college,
Oh well I guess I deserve it,
It my karma cause that I feel like that life will give me a bad time too.
Well sometimes that I don't know why I am still here anyway.
I keep thinking that life will be better, but it makes it worse.

I feel cold,
By feeling numb,
I feel cold inside,
All of my emotions are
deep inside,
save me from my isolations,
I want to be free from the cold,
No one seen me for who I am,
My heart burns,
in pain,
screaming for help,
I am tired of waiting,
I want to be saved physically,
Mostly Mental.

My darkness is depressing,
No one seen my troubled times,
Even though their still is,
When I thought of someone had changed for because of someone or something,
Doesn't mean that it's true,
Even though they want the drama to end,
Doesn't mean that they will still hurt you,
I feel hurt cause of a promise,
That wasn't needed to be broken,
I was in tears when I realized it,
It was pain and I suffered long enough,
I know now I seen her true colors,
More than I know,
I still feel hurt,
The pain won't go away until I know something good about them.