A girl that was born broken,
that never thought of like this,
a child that never thought of losing someone,
a teen never thought of being hurt and depressed,
Reality that I never thought that it could be this cruel,
they left me in tears like a broken doll,
that i sit on a hay of straw,
i am just a broken human.

My heart is burning like it's on fire. I can't explain it cause my anxiety thinks that I am alone and don't have anyone by my side. I am just hurting inside and people (My family, certain friends, etc) doesn't understand my problems. I been wanting to leave my home town cause I feel so isolated and I feel so helpless.

My shadows just giving me negative thoughts like "Cut yourself cause you deserve it, cause someone from your high schools ex-friend wants me to it" "Your so worthless" "Your Nothing" "Why Are you here anyway?" It my nightmares that giving me these things.

Sometimes that Half of my life was a lie cause how I was raise most of my life that no one seen me almost dying cause of my starvation when I was little. No one seen my cut myself,(Didn't do much of it.) I almost **** myself a few times cause I am tired of people hurting me and bullied me, lied to me too many times, and most worst thing, is stealing part of heart that wants me to care about them that hurt me.

I feel like screaming out and just let it out cause of my pain and suffering pain. no one seen my weak spot that I always cover everything and no one see me in pain. I always wear a mask that no one sees me crying. Most of my life wants to know why I am here anyways.

I been isolated in my room just doing nothing and look at the the tiles in my room, not saying anything to anyone. I feel alone and i am in pain. I feel like that I just feel numb and just don't know the words to say.

My whole life that I have speech problems ever since I was little, and Mostly that I was always quiet and not saying a word to anyone. The reason that I feel pain inside and when I feel numb, it the same issues. Their both the worst pain that I ever had, and it still is.

My mind can't take anymore damages from her,
I am tired of her giving me nightmares,
My mind hurts when to think about it,
I just don't know why life hates me that badly,
What can I do to forget her when she scar me for life,
Ever that that I seen a red car or anything red,
My heart hurts and i don't know why,
I been in more worse situations,
but not like this,
she played my mind too many times,
i just heard voices in my head like it was her voice and
just tell me to **** myself,
My anxiety just raises up and i start panicking,
she made my mind twisted.

I just want to let you all know about something and this isn't easy what I am going to say cause I need this out of my chest. It been in my mind ever since high school. I been having a hard time and this is a reason that I became antisocial. It was the beginning of my Junior Year and I just had an awful feeling and I was talking to some of my friends and their was this girl and I just call her C.
So C came to me out of no where and just told me why I haven’t talk to one of her friends and I call her K. So I couldn't say anything back to her so C just got mad and walk away. My friends that was sitting with me wondering why that happened and I just didn't understood it either. Then a couple weeks later C and K just trying to get to my issues and I wasn't mad at C and I was mad at K and I don’t remembered why.
So I just confused so I just stop talking to a lot of people and just hanging out all of my own mostly except when I have someone around me. So anyway the next year most just I haven’t seen C for years now cause she moved somewhere and everything about my life was that I been lied too all the time just made me become more and more antisocial. I was mostly just been more and more depressed. I just still don’t know what to do with my life anymore.

When someone changes to be a different person,
They won't be the same,
They will hurt you,
They will not change until you might can change them,
Half the chance will happen and the other half won't happen,
My life was full of it,
Because that I went through it
Since I was in elementary school,
I went through a lot of trauma and
Drama that I was always in the middle of it,
I been through it all,
Even someone wants me to believe things that never were true,
It will never will happen again,
Cause I am not fooling it,
Things change,
People changes like petals falling.

Every situation that I been through,
is just full of darkness,
All through my life,
I hardly talked about it though,
It gives me pain and suffering,
I been hurt too many times,
that it hard for me to live,
I want to live and not give up,
it just that i been mentally in pain,
and also i just feel a burden,
Mostly I feel like way cause their certain people,
People that made me feel that way,
I feel so useless cause of
no one lets me help them with anything,
I feel like that my heart is like billions of pieces,
that it would be hard to fix,
I just wish that my pain just to go away,
cause my life is full of darkness and sadness.

Their a time when someone that I thought that they would do something like the opposite of good.
I was wrong about that, to be honest,
I feel so broken and confused,
I thought that I could help her,
I thought that I could change her,
I thought that I can fix the past,
I just can't, I can't do anything right,
I am a messed up person,
I am a broken person,
I am a nobody that no one could understand,
My body is too skinny,
I can't do make myself even more skinny cause people in my head calls me fat.
My nightmares that no one knows,
They hurt me,
They bullied me,
They want to **** me slowly,
I just want it to end,
To end my suffering,
My pain,
Erase my mind that I just want to start a new life,
I just want to be happy,
Not a person like me could never have it,
I just don't know anymore.
I am just tired.